Thursday, September 18, 2008

What Happened?

Didn't there used to be signs on businesses stating "No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service"? I guess all that has gone by the wayside because in my foray into the local Kroger to purchase the elusive cheese, I saw one guy in his car - shirtless.

I saw one guy leaving the store, shirtless. He also had his wife and diaper-clad only infant with him.

Then, when I entered the store, there was a shirtless man using the self-checkout line.

It wasn't so hot here yesterday. In fact, I thought it was a might chilly later in the evening.

I suppose I could "get" men removing their shirts on a blisteringly hot day. But, still, isn't that sort of thing just not done anymore?

I mean, if I wanted to see hairy man nipples, I could find more than my fair share of photos online.See?

Or, I could ask the Evil Twin to parade around topless. (I like my men hirsute - but no back hair - thanks!)


Oh, for the love of Pete, shave that shit off and help a child suffering from alopecia.

Note to grits who shop at the Saint Albans Kroger: wear a shirt. A wife-beater is fine.... better than nothing. Oh - and also? It's 2008. I'm fairly certain the mullet was never a REAL hair fashion style. There are barbers all over the place!

I'm starting to think I need a decent cell phone with a good camera. My current cell phone is only capable of capturing blobs on the camera side. If I had a better camera phone, I could document this nuttiness.

Then, since I hear from so many of you that your Kroger is full of the same kind of crazy, we could have a photo contest. (Prize to be determined later and as long as participation continues to be active.) Send me the most insane thing you witness on your day! eviltwinswife@gmail.com!

28 comments:

  1. I demand that you take that picture of me off your website!! I shared that with you in a private moment! :)

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  2. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh, good God. That second pic made me shudder. I am very thankful my man in nearly hairless.

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  3. arghh...maybe it is a Kroger thing. We have the same lovely sites up here also. Unless the guy has a decent six-pack - keep the shirt on please. Maybe we women should all start going topless to make the point. Nope bad idea - I would knock myself out and have 2 black eyes if I did that!!!

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  4. Unfortunately it doesn't seem to be just a Kroger thing. Joe Dirt and his people are everyflippinwhere!

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  5. Ron - LOL!

    Lauren - I hope you had breakfast before you saw that. (or maybe not).

    themom - Plus, women going topless would be a thrill for guys. They don't care how big or floppy the girls are!

    Laura - I hadn't seen a shirtless man (aside from the occasional glimpse of one doing yard work) in ages!

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  6. I'm so glad you don't have a camera phone. Those pics you posted were bad enough!

    You're right...there is something WAY wrong with that.

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  7. I could have went all day without seeing that...

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  8. Sheesh.......I think maybe a 'Nair Dip' is in order. AND...who the fu&k goes into a public venue without a shirt?? You mentioned kids only in diapers...THAT is something I detest...I so wish there was some kind of test you had to pass before people were allowed to breed.

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  9. i'm a hairy hairy manbeast.... and i don't ever show it off. not even in the summer.

    also topless women? i like chubby chicks so.... i'd be cool with that.

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  10. That's some seriously hairy manbutt there! Yikes!

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  11. Mountain Laurel - the guys I saw were adults, not teens, so I further question the practice? Ick.

    Bucky - Sorry!

    Efen - I agree. Plus, it wasn't like these guys were built like Adonis either (that would'nt really make it any better. In Public? Wear a Shirt.)

    lucas - the Evil Twin likes what he calls "heavy hangers"... he'd be in heaven around here if the chicks went topless.

    BB - If I were him, I think I'd be contemplating laser hair removal, although I hear it hurts like a mofo.

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  12. ewwww, that's not so common up here. I'd like to think it has something to do with breeding, but really? it's probably just too cold.

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  13. OK - the second picture is turning me on. Please remove it so I can get some work done.

    Seriously, please?

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  14. k - It was unusual for me too - I hadn't seen that in a long while.

    Tiff - sorry, but you know it's already seared into your brain now.

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  15. SHAVE IT???? Where on God's green earth would you begin?? That would sure enough wear out your Lady Schick! lol

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  16. Hey, Spencer has some crazy, mullet-wearing dudes, but at least they wear clothes!

    *gag!*

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  17. Hairy nipples. Those two words just made my day.

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  18. I can't see i've seen many top-less dudes in Kroger but I've noticed that there is ALWAYS a dude walking around kroger shopping in his shorts. Even in the middle of winter there will be one person in shorts and flip-flops.

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  19. honeywine - perhaps he just needs a full body Brazilian?

    Rebecca - If they wear clothes, then you're a step ahead.

    Catscratch - enjoy!

    AC - Ah, the "shorts even in winter" types. I think one store everywhere has at least one.

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  20. ewwie....my gawd......what horrible images. I hate it when men do this and then casually have their shirt over their shoulders. I could do that with my bra too....would scare the crap outta everyone.

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  21. I hate shoes, but I always wear them to Kroger, Go-Mart no, Kroger, yes. And, I must admit, I always wear a shirt, maybe not a bra, but always a shirt. I don't want anyone to grossed out by my hairy nipples. LOL!

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  22. Yuck!! Anywhere food is served or sold should be protected from hairy, gross bodies w/out clothing!!

    I'm grocery shopping tomorrow. I'll keep an eye out, lol!

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  23. rosemary - LOL. You're more likely to get many appreciative looks, actually. Guys just love boobs - no perfection required. Just the boobs, ma'am.

    Inanna - IF your nipples are hairy, I doubt they hold a candle to photo 1. LOL.

    Carolyn - a better idea might be to pretend to be intensely interested in the tile floor!

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  24. I always wondered about the "no shoes, no shirt, no service" policy. For instance, if I showed up with a shirt on but no shoes would I still be denied service? Does it take a combination of all three? What if I only have one shoe on? Could that be enough to get me service? Or would, for instance, I be relegated to only ordering appetizers for having only one shoe?

    I'm not even going to examine the whole flip flop aspect.

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  25. And what about amputees???

    Crazy talk I say.

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  26. Stew - I think walking into a store with a dick on your forehead would still get you service these days. Crazy talk, indeed.

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  27. Not long ago I was in line at the bank (in Kroger!) behind a guy w/o a shirt on. What he lacked in clothing he more than made up in body odor. I closed my eyes and suddenly thought of my grandmother, who would've passed out cold at the sight and smell of this guy, who obviously had no respect for himself or others. In my opinion that's what it boils down to, a lack of respect. I'm so tired of the in your face lack of manners of most people. I'm from the "No sir, yes ma'am." generation, and life among the "Fuck you." generation really pisses me off.

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  28. Wow that post generated a lot of comments! I feel so behind! I cannot imagine ever seeing a shirtless man around here in the grocery store. I just don't think it would happen. Thank you for leaving those wonderful images in my mind's eye though.
    And for the record I have Naired BF's back several times! He's so hairy his friends call him a forest animal. haha

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