Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Coming? Going? I'm Just Not Sure

Buddy started school on the 20th and Sissy started preschool on the 25th. The Evil Twin drops Buddy off in the morning. Then, I have to take Sissy at 10:45 and pick her up at 1:55. Buddy gets out of school an hour later - and the schools are side by side, but I will not sit out there for an hour. Not only No, but HELL NO.

It's only a half mile from our house, so I just return home and then Sissy and I go out again an hour later.

It's kicking my butt! I feel like all I do is run back and forth. Today, I was actually able to drop her off and go to the Mart of Wal, get back home, have some lunch and still have a bit of time to myself!

Tomorrow, after I drop Sissy off, I have to go to my doctor's office for some blood work, then go to a different hospital for pre-admission. Lord knows how long all that will take. I hope it's less than 3 hours! LOL. (I'm having a partial hysterectomy using the robotic surgery, which is only a 24 hour recovery, as opposed to 4 - 6 weeks with the traditional surgery).

Maybe I'll get some down time after that.... I desperately need it. I'm actually looking forward to my 24 hour hospital stay. It'll be like a little vacation, with random bits of pain, I'm sure.

I hope they send me home with some good pain meds!

It's almost time to pick up Sissy, so I'm outta here.

Happy Tuesday, hooligans!

Friday, August 27, 2010

Friday Secrets August 27

Here are the Friday Secrets - and a mystery pic, too!

1. When you just innocently told me your blood type. My heart just stopped. It all made more sense to me. I flashed back to that night.  The baby isn't his, it yours. How could I have been so dumb to have missed all those clues for all these years? But now why would I ruin two families when the baby is almost grown? You have babies of your own now. Though I am so sad inside because it could have all been different.

2. My wife sometimes dresses as though she was twenty pounds lighter.  If it looked sexy, I'd be turned on, but sometimes I'm embarrassed for her.  I would say something to her about it, but she'd take it the wrong way.

Bigger gals can be extremely sexy; wearing clothes that are too small is not the way to pull it off though.

And here's the Mystery Pic. While it is smokin' hot, I'm not sure it's SFW or SFK. So, you've been warned...


Hope you enjoy today's installment! See ya next week!

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Preschool - First Day

It was a HIT with Miss Sissy. She loved and it is chomping at the bit to go back again today.

I enjoyed my 3 hours of free time, but that's really not long enough to get too involved in anything, so I did some laundry, checked some blogs, had a yogurt for lunch...you know, the usual.

When Buddy was in preK, I rarely came home because we lived farther away back then and his was only 2 hours, 3 days a week. When he was in Kindergarten (a full day), I would come home and tidy up the house, read, etc. But, the only thing I wouldn't do is turn the TV on.

You would think I would have flicked the TV off as soon as I got back from dropping Sissy off, but now we have the birds. Birds like noise, so I just kept it on and ignored it. Parakeets are "flock" animals - hanging out together by the 1000s in their native habitat. If it's too quiet, they sense danger and get all nervous and junk. I didn't even change the channel, it was 3 hours of hearing Spongebob and iCarly in the background.

Eh, anything to keep those feathered assholes happy. We have them both in the same cage now and it's funny to watch them interact. When one sleeps, the other sleeps. We have 2 food dishes and 2 water dishes, so they will eat and drink at the same time, too. Apple (our older 'keet)has a plastic ring with a bell, which is his favorite place to perch and play. Lovey (our newest addition) was sitting on his hoop one time and Apple squawked and squawked. We now have two plastic rings with bells in the cage. ::::Sigh::::

Well, it's time for me to get ready to make the preschool run.

Don't forget about Friday Secrets. Send an email to: eviltwinswife@gmail.com. There are plenty of anonymous (free) email services out there, or just make something up on yahoo or hotmail. Need to get something off your chest? Here's your chance! I think (hint, hint) that tomorrow may be very good, indeed! :-)

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Growing Up

After Buddy was born, everyone reminded me that they grow SO fast. Frankly, I didn't think a 2lb, 5oz baby was going to go gangbusters on me. Next thing I knew, he was in preschool. He loved it and merrily went along, barely glancing my way when I was leaving on the first day.

Today, I repeated this process with Sissy. Whew, they do grow so fast! She was eager to get started, but she did at least stop long enough for a hug and kiss. Then, she disappeared into the front school doors, being led by her teacher.

Next year, she'll be in all day Kindergarten and I expect she will enjoy that as well and exceed.

Today, one little girl came to ask if they were in the same class. They aren't (I think there are 2 afternoon pre-K classes), but we did find out that they will start Kindergarten at the same school next year (it's different from the pre-K school they're at now). Perhaps they will be in the same class there!

The little girl asked what her name was. Sissy hesitated and then spelled her actual name, then I had to translate because I didn't know if the new girl could put it together and know all the letters (there are only 3, but still).

Anyhoodle, I did NOT cry - but I WAS nervous. In fact, I was so nervous, I almost forgot to drop off the tissues I had bought for the class.

She has been there almost an hour and still no call home, so I'll take that as a good sign!

I'm excited to find out how her first day is! :-)I'm off to do some housework, keep my mind off of stuff, ya know?

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Gearing Up for Pre-K

Sissy's first day of preschool is tomorrow. But this morning, there was an open house/orientation for the new kiddos and parents. I pretty much knew what to expect, but seeing as how this is the public pre-K program as opposed to the private pre-K we had Buddy in, there are some differences.

#1. No outrageous monthly tuition!

#2. But there will be a bill for lunches. (not a big deal).

#3. It is a mix of pre-K students and head start students (head start is a program for low income families). Because of the head start students, they make "home visits" at each students' home. The Evil Twin said, "Not only NO, but HELL NO. They will not enter my home." I kind of understand where he's coming from, but we have a nice, clean home and aren't hiding anything...still, I've been warned to not ever, never, ever let them in.

#4. If it is my child's birthday, I am not allowed to send store bought or home made cupcakes in. I CAN send a favorite book or toy. (WOOT). That's real special. Public schools = concern over childhood obesity in WV.

#5. School is M - Th 10:45 to 1:55 (we got the afternoon class, which is what I wanted anyway - the morning class starts at 7:25 and we are generally not even awake at that time). Private preschool was just MWF from noon to 2:30. At least I get an extra hour (and an extra day) to run errands or shop.

Luckily, the Evil Twin will drop Buddy off at his school in the AM. Buddy gets out at 2:55, so thankfully, we only live half a mile from both schools. They are side by side. I can pick up Sissy, run back home in 5 minutes, then go get Buddy at 2:55.

I'm excited for Sissy - she is very excited herself! I just hope she realizes that I'm not going to be staying tomorrow. We've talked about that over and over, but I don't know that she fully understands that MOM does not hang out for pre-school.

Here's the thing: I think she may be the only girl in her class. But, she is mean as a stripped snake and can hold her own. She was also taller and bigger than any of the other children I saw this morning, so I'm sure she'll be ruling that class with an iron fist in a day or so.

Let's face it, when you have to go toe to toe with your 8 years older brother, you quickly learn how to speak up for yourself! LOL.

I have seen her brow beat even 12 year old Buddy down, so that he just complies with her wishes. Too funny!

So, say a little wish that tomorrow goes well as I drop her off for her FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!

Monday, August 23, 2010

Fun in the Sun

I suppose by last week's photo, y'all could deduce that we were at the beach. Yes, we stayed in a super sweet condo in North Myrtle Beach (Cherry Grove). We had stayed in the same condo one other time a few years ago and really loved it.

You open the sliding glass door and walk between the sea grass and dunes and there is the ocean. It was about 20 feet away! We love to sit on the patio at night and just listen to the waves and smell the sea air.

The condo has 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms - sleeps six, so we invited our friends Inanna and her son to join us. The boys had the room with twin beds, we had the king size bed and Sissy slept with us. Inanna had a room to herself with a queen size bed.

We had a newly remodeled kitchen, fully stocked with all the cook ware we would need (if we didn't eat dinner out every night! LOL).

The Evil Twin brought his own beloved coffee pot from home, that's why there are 2 on the counter. Forgive the disarray - We just all kind of piled in and we all had a variety of electronic devices and junk, so stuff sat around where ever it was laid down! Trust me, the place was neat and tidy when we left. The dishes were clean, the counters wiped down with Clorox wipes, the trash was all taken out and the fridge was cleaned out.

We had the place rented from Saturday to Saturday. I booked it back in February because that was the only week left for that unit. Then, I find out that school was starting on Friday, the 20th. We had to leave on Thursday to make it home in time to get Buddy ready for his first day of 7th grade! That was fine, really, I think we were all a bit "beached out" by that time and ready to get back to our own homes.

If anyone wants more info on this awesome condo, just email me at eviltwinswife@gmail.com and I'll send you a link to the realty company that rents it out.

Sissy starts preschool on Wednesday! She goes from 10:45 to 1:55 Monday - Thursday. She is SO excited. We met her teacher on Friday and there is an open house/orientation thing for tomorrow morning.

I will have 3 whole hours 4 days a week to clean house/run errands, etc.! Maybe I can actually take a day or so to read a book!!

It's the most wonderful time of the year and football season is upon us! It doesn't get any better than that!

Friday, August 20, 2010

Friday Secrets - August 20

Two more secrets this week! Yay!

1. I get turned on by a woman's manicure. I've confessed that before on this blog. Woman has to be older - no young flirts here - red polish, beautiful hands. Well, I took this further recently. I got a manicure one Friday afternoon - nail Polish and all - the Asian girl did it - no questions asked I guess. Watching Flower Tucci and jerking off with nail polish hands was extra special... Didn't realize it was gonna be that hard to remove nail polish... but I had to before Monday...


2. I like orange juice.  Sometimes it just needs a little something extra though.  One of my favorite additions is my own cum!   I like to pour a very small glass of OJ and then jack off into it.  Delicious!

Once again, I will ask that comments be thoughtful. The way I see it - as long as someone isn't doing anything illegal, non-consensual, or otherwise in danger of bringing harm to themselves or others, that's their business.

Whatever floats your boat, man. That attitude comes from years of being a punk rock girl and taking lots of LSD in college. Hee hee!

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

More Greetings!

So far, every day has been "Dress Inappropriately Day". I just make sure I am clean and smell decent. Anything else would be a bonus. Whatever hangs out, just "hangs out". Ehhh. Who cares?

This is the view from our back door:

I'm a tiny bit sunburned, but I really don't care.

The Evil Twin and I are so used to spending our own time our own way - making smaller accommodations a bee otch. He's been going to bed earlier anyway, so I still get my "alone time".

I'm off for more Sangria and assorted other drinky poos. Yay!

Monday, August 16, 2010


I am in an undisclosed location for an undetermined amount of time. That is why I cannot read/comment on my very favorite blogs right now, but soon! Soon, I will be back in business.

Buddy will be in school soon and shortly thereafter Sissy will start preschool and I will have a very limited time alone each day. YAY!

I WILL fill you all on the details later with pictures, of course.

I'm not sorry to say that Sangria is calling my name. I will check in when I can!

Happy Monday Funday, hooligans!

Friday, August 13, 2010

Friday Secrets

I received 2 secrets for this week's installment. But - they're GOOD ones!

1. I have never received a blow job. None of my girlfriends have ever been comfortable with it and they've all be grossed out by it. That is why I love watching the blow job section on porn websites. Someday I'll get one and I'm just getting ready....

2. The woman who does the weather forecast during the noon news is sexy and I masturbate whenever she is on.

Casa Evil Twin is all abuzz right now. All good stuff, but busy! I plan on being obnoxiously drunk for the next few days, so who knows what I'll have to say! Hee hee.

Back to my busy day, hooligans! Have a fuck-tastic Friday!!!

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Funny Comes In All Forms

So, many of you know I started doing very part time work for my ex/new boss (the person I worked for before Buddy was born). He lives about 2 miles away, in the same town, so it's not a hassle to swing by and help him out.

Yesterday, I had to take Sissy with me. She left her Nintendo DS backpack there and the backpack had the charger in it. After she went to bed, I ran back over to his house to retrieve the charger and "pack-pack" as she calls it.

It's been exceedingly hot here, so I put on my itty bitty sundress when I'm at home. And I decided to not change when I went back to get the backpack.

He enjoyed the cleavage action (who doesn't?), so I let him take a few pics.

This one is my favorite:

Happy Thursday, hooligans!

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

The HooHa Doc

I love my gynecologist. I've been seeing him since about 2 years before Buddy was born.

The first time I saw him and I was "in the position", he had me laughing so hard, I worried I might pee on him. He and I have been making each other laugh for 15 years now.

In fact, I wouldn't recommend any other doctor in this area to any female friend of mine. But, if you want an "all business" hooha doc, he is not the one.

He is great, his staff is great - the only thing that bothers me is that he is popular, so the waiting room is always packed - and when the pre-recorded call comes in and reminds you of your appointment and to keep your entourage to one person only and most of the patients have all 12 kids, their mother, mother in law, grandma and baby daddy in tow, it's a little annoying. Even so, they get around to all patients quickly.

You know, for all the problems I had with both kids while pregnant (the 2 keepers of the bunch of other failed pregnancies), I think the Evil Twin accompanied me to maybe 6 appointments total. Not to say he didn't care, but I didn't need the peanut gallery with me for an appointment. I have a good memory and can recite all the instructions later at home.

Anyhoodle, I'm gearing up for my partial hysterectomy, had some tests done a few weeks ago (all normal), so I didn't even have to get naked or anything. The doc and I just talked about my options and they will be contacting our insurance to get coverage info and set me up!

Amazingly enough, I am so excited. The office is closed and there will be no office occupants ever again.

After everything I went thru to get them both here, I feel like I'm entitled to some peace. I know - the Evil Twin had the big V when Sissy was about 9 months old, but he never went to the recheck and frankly, I'm sick of buying feminine need products.

I've been doing all this for 30 years. I'm ready for a break. :-)

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

I'm feeling great today. I can't really go into details, but let's just say that something that has been weighing heavily on my mind has been resolved and in a positive outcome!

There are many other things in our lives that have come together seamlessly and just in time, too. It's a good feeling, a very good feeling....dah, dah, dah, - I'm all Mr. Rogers and shit, did you get that?

I loved him as a child and even so as an adult while I watched his show when Buddy was small.

There have been only 2 "celebrities" I have cried about when they passed on. Mr. Rogers and Johnny Cash. If I had been alive when Patsy Cline died, I would have cried over that one as well.

Isn't it strange that a complete stranger can hold a coveted place in our hearts?

I think the Evil Twin shed a tear or two after Frank Zappa died.

How about you? Has anyone you didn't really know in real life affected you after they died? I have plenty more of "non celebrity" people whose death has affected me in a large way, too, but really too many to list.

Let me know in the comments.

Happy Tuesday, hooligans!

Monday, August 9, 2010

My Awesome Sunday

Fellow blogger Kenju was in town this week and we had arranged to meet up on Sunday, along with Buzzardbilly and The Blonde Goddess (I'm not linking them, because they are both kinda on hiatus right now). Same set up as last year. :-)

So, Buzzardbilly planned on picking up BG on her way to the meeting place. Only her car battery died. BG went to pick up BB, and when she got there, HER car battery crapped out too. What're the odds?

It ended up being just me and Kenju and while we missed our other partners in crime, the two of us had a grand time chatting and catching up. We each had a sweet tea, then ordered Hot Fudge Cakes! Yum! Of course, my mystery lactose intolerance acted up later after I got home, but it was worth it.

I completely gave up caffeine about a month ago, but I do enjoy the occasional treat of a sweet tea, so I was really wound up after that tea! It was sooooo delicious, though.

After our meeting, I had to swing by my ex/new boss' house to drop some things off to him and then headed back home.

A classmate of mine called later - she had a parakeet she had bought for her son, but he didn't show much interest in the bird and she has been experiencing some health problems, so she wondered if we wanted the bird. Yesterday evening, Buddy and I drove out to her house and picked up the loveliest yellow GIRL parakeet I've seen. We named her Lovey. She and Apple are in separate cages, but side by side and they are very interested in each other. I'll wait a while before I try to house them together in the bigger (Apple's) cage.

The kids are thrilled with the new pet. Miss Bella is also very intrigued! LOL. She spends a lot of time checking them both out and "chittering" at them. (that's code for a type of "cat talk" when they see weaker little critters).

I'll be working with Miss Lovey to attempt to hand train her. Her wings are clipped (which offers them only limited flight), so I should be able to at least perch train her in a few days.

The visit with Miss Kenju and getting our new birdie were the highlights of my weekend!

I'm off to grab this Monday by the balls and show it who's boss!

Happy Monday, hooligans!

Friday, August 6, 2010

It Rides My Nerves With Spurs

I don't know what it is, but everyone in my family seems to think that I am the "knower of all things". While I appreciate their votes of confidence, it can be quite irritating at times.

For example, if someone asks me a question and I say, "I don't know.", it truly means "I don't know." Rephrasing the question and asking again won't change the answer. I still don't know.

It's not like I am purposely withholding knowledge in my brain from anyone. It simply means: I'll have to look into it and possibly rely on Google to find your answer, so hold your horses.

Yesterday, while shopping, Buddy asked me a question about the Harry Potter book series. Now, I've read all the books, but I'll be damned if I can recall every title in order. That would be like asking me to translate the titles into Greek.

I read the books for entertainment and enjoyed every one, but I did not commit the titles to my all ready overloaded brain. It's the Harry Potter series. That's all I needed to know.

To be honest, I'm not even sure how many books have been released. I heard book 7 would be the last and I'm fairly sure it's already been out and is in my bookcase downstairs, but I'm far too lazy to walk down there and find out.

So, Buddy was badgering me with the Harry Potter questions and I finally said, "Buddy, if I say 'I don't know' the first time, it stands to reason that I don't recall the title to book 5 either. I don't say 'I don't know' if I truly do know. I could be a wicked Jeopardy champ, but there ARE a few things your mama DOES NOT KNOW off the top of her head."

As I've said before, my head houses 3 and 3/4 brains: Mine, Buddy's, Sissy's and 3/4s of the Evil Twins.

And now, I have even more on my plate. Remember I mentioned my super semi part time job for my boss I worked for before Buddy was born? That's classified information, but then I was asked to do his grocery shopping (long story). That's no big deal because I shop for him while I do my own shopping. Lately, I was informed he fired his housekeeper, so I'll be doing that as well. It's more money, so that's cool, but also one more thing to squeeze into the schedule. So, now, how many brains do I have??

It will be so much easier when the kids are in school! And time rolls on....

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Back to School Shopping

My dear friend, her son, Buddy, Sissy and I are making a road trip to Huntington today to get some new school clothes for the crotch rockets. Middle School starts August 20th here and preschool starts on the 25th.

We all plan on being at an undisclosed location at an undisclosed time frame between now and then, so it's time to step up the back to school stuff. I hate being all last minute on things and rushing around like a loon.

I'm sure there will be some of that going on, but I like to plan ahead as much as possible.

So, we're off in an hour or so to do SOME SHOPPING!

I hate spending money, but the chil'ren needs some new clothes and shoes.

If you use my Amazon link, you can help us buy clothes and shoes for our young'uns. We are a one income fambly, you know? LOL.

Tomorrow is Friday, and I still have no Friday secrets OR mystery photos. What is up with that?

If I don't get anything, I'll just post something else on the slate. If I manage to gather enough secrets for a post, I will post them on a Friday in the future.

Enjoy your Thursday, hooligans! I know I will!

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

I Got Lucky

Get your minds out of the gutter, pervs! No, I got to sleep in a bit this morning! I didn't have to make the Evil Twin's lunch and even though Sissy woke up early, she was happy to crawl in bed with me and watch cartoons, while I snoozed along.


The house was cool and it was a bit overcast this morning, so it was a perfectly perfect day to get a few extra winks.

Of course, when I got up - I was met with a myriad of problems.

We had a major storm here last night and the power was out for a while. Buddy has a friend over and his mom (one of my dearest friends) was over as well. Buddy got his laptop and his friend appropriated his mom's netbook and they sat on the couch, in the dark with candles lit, playing on their computers. (obviously, playing things that didn't require an internet connection).

It was actually fun to sit in the dark, even if the house was getting warmer by the minute.

I get up this morning, after my lovely, peaceful lay-in and the ceiling fan in the den won't come on. The fan worked, but the lights wouldn't come on. Called the Evil Twin at work where he instructed me to check the breaker boxes (yes, we have 2) and all was in order there. Then, he suggested I look for a switch or pull on the actual fixture itself - I pulled on the little chains and voila! The lights came on. Whew!

Then, as I'm doing my normal morning activities (opening the blinds, taking my pills, getting cup after cup of ice water - hey, I'm thirsty in the morning - I notice that BOTH of my tomato cages are knocked over. In fact, one was completely off of the plant and the planting area. I go out and upright the cages, look for plant damage (none noticed, at least not yet) and tried to get them both straightened up like they were the day before. Le sigh.

I need to get out there and trim one back a bit - if I can find a moment that it's not hotter than the devil's nutsack with swamp ass inducing humidity and that opportunity has not presented itself yet.

Excuse me while I try to get my heart rate down a bit....

Happy Wednesday, hooligans!

Monday, August 2, 2010

Like a One Legged Man in a Butt Kicking Contest

That's how today will be. Busy! The Evil Twin took an extra day off for his birthday weekend and he has several errands and projects he needs to work on today. I also have some errands to do.

When we're both home, we TRY to coordinate our schedules so that someone is always home with the kids and the other person can do their stuff without drunken monkeys kids in tow.

We're getting ready to adopt another parakeet (aren't we the most adopting-est people evah?). Maybe it's because we were both adopted (the Evil Twin by his dad and me by both parents), we have a soft spot for things that need homes.

During our infertility days, we considered adopting a baby, but it's so expensive these days, we went the regular route and did the meds and whatever it took to have our two the (semi) regular way. That's a post for another day. And, for the record, the infertility issues were on my end, not the Evil Twin's. He is very fertile - after all, he managed to get me pregnant 9 times, but I was only able to carry 2 of them to viability. Like I said, story for another day....

I also have a really good tale of how I beat the USPS down until I got what I wanted and that may pop up later this week. I shoulda been a lawyer. At least, that's what my dad encouraged me to pursue. LOL.

I need to go map out my daily plans and work on my grocery list. Sounds exciting, huh?

I know you're all jealous! Don't be haterz or I'll have to unearth the picture for all haterz! LOL.

Happy Monday, hooligans!