Monday, November 25, 2013

Heartbroken for a Friend

I guess I should give some background on this before I start. 

Back in late July/early August 1997, I found out I was pregnant with Buddy. My due date was April 15. 

Now this is back in the stone ages when everyone still had AOL and dial up (including us). I found a board on there just for moms due in April 1998. We all started writing, sharing our stories, fears, questions and lives. I came to know these other moms as an extended family. Nearly all of us from the beginning are still friends and still write each other to this very day and our April Babies will be 16 soon (Buddy was the first "April Baby" born in January....little early bird!). 

Anyway, on our list is a grandmother of her first grandchild due in April. Her daughter didn't have a computer and so she wanted to join us since she was so excited to be having her first grandbaby. We welcomed her into our group as our "unofficial" grandma. I came to know her and her family. She has 3 grown children and 5 grandchildren now. 

Tragically, over this past summer, her son (in his mid 30s) was involved in a terrible accident that left him paralyzed from the neck down. Our "group grandma" and her 2 other children - daughters - all went to spend as much time as possible with him. 

He didn't have an easy time of it and for every step forward, there were 2 steps back. 

We were told (the group) that he had decided to remove his vent tube, which kept him breathing because he just couldn't go on like he was. Which I understand to a degree. He has a wife and a 12 year old daughter and so that part was really rough for me to get my head around, but I'm not living his life. 

Still, it made me very sad. I prayed for a miracle and if there couldn't be a miracle, then at least that he was as comfortable as possible as he said goodbye to his family, who were all there with him. 

He passed on Saturday after his vent was removed. He's at peace now and my prayers are for his family to find that same peace. 

I guess this situation really knocked me for a loop because while I didn't really "know" him, I've known him and his entire family for nearly 17 years, on the computer and in photos. I remember when his daughter was born. And, it's the first time I've ever "known" someone to request the tubes be removed themselves  - as opposed to someone being in a vegetative state and the family has to make that heartbreaking decision, know what I mean? 

I just can't make sense of any of it...from the accident where he became paralyzed to this tragic end. Doesn't make any sense. I don't suppose it ever will, but he and his family have been on my mind for days now. 

So, while I've been under the weather, yes, I've also been preoccupied by the thoughts of this young man. I'm glad I had the chance to "know" him. 

Enjoy your Monday, hooligans! It's a short week for us all! Thank goodness! 


Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Looking Ahead

After a fairly relaxing and restful weekend, I feel ready to face this week.

The Evil Twin had his PET scan yesterday and we hope to hear something about the results by the end of the week. 

After this week, the kids only have school on Monday, half a day on Tuesday and then they're off the rest of the week for the Thanksgiving break. It'll be nice to not have to rush around doing the usual morning stuff, even though I know I'll still be up early. 

We've decided that since the Evil Twin still doesn't eat solid foods and I am not a big fan of the Thanksgiving type foods, we'll just order some Chinese carry out for the three of us (me and the children). We haven't had Chinese in a long while, so it'll be a nice treat and I don't have to do much work except set the table and clean up afterwards. 

Plus, I know we'll have plenty of leftovers...the Chinese place always serves enough to feed an army, it seems. So, that part will be just like Thanksgiving. We'll just be eating stir fry broccoli for 3 days instead of turkey! :-) It's all good! 

A friend of mine has a daughter who is a few years younger than Sissy and is currently in dance classes. Sissy has a TON of dance wear things that she has outgrown (plus she is not taking dance right now), so my girlfriend is stopping by today to pick this stuff up. 

I'm so thrilled because #1. I get to see my friend (even though I look pretty rough this morning), #2. This dancewear stuff is expensive, so I'm glad to see it going to someone who can use it and #3. It'll clear up some space in Sissy's closet. 

It drives me crazy when she has things she has outgrown and they're still hanging there, but I don't know what else to do with them. I don't want to fold them and get them all wrinkled. If I wasn't lazy, I could take them to a consignment shop, but some of the items are just cute everyday things, not fancy consignment items, so they hang there. Driving me batty. 

I'll be a little less batty later today! Still nuts, of course, just not as bad. 

I hope my hooligans are having a great week so far. I have lots on my mind, so I'm going to ruminate and wait on my friend to call. Happy Tuesday! 


Saturday, November 16, 2013


I know we all have times in our lives where things just don't seem quite "right". 

For me, it goes beyond that. It's that feeling, plus the feeling that I don't want to be seen. And by "seen", I mean, I don't want to leave my house. I don't want to go to the store. I don't want to go to the school to drop off or pick up Sissy, I don't want to do anything that would cause me to interact with others. 

When I had my doctor's appointment on Thursday, I thought I was going to have a heart attack before I even left the house. I took my Ativan, as prescribed, and forced myself. By the time they took my blood pressure, it was sky high (even though I take my blood pressure meds exactly as prescribed, like clockwork). 

I don't want to be gone completely (like dead, nothing that extreme). I just want to "check out" for a day or two or three. 

I think I'm just exhausted. 

I know things will get better. The Evil Twin has his PET scan coming up and so that's nerve wracking, then we have the holidays, the anniversary of my mom's passing and the financial stress on top of all of it. 

I don't know how much more I can take. 

I know life isn't fair and life isn't all neat and tidy and laid out "just so"....Sometimes, we get curve balls.

And sometimes, we get hit upside the head with the damn ball. Head pounding, trying to catch my breath and wondering when it'll get can make Evil Twin's Wife a little squirrelly, if you know what I mean. 

As Dory says, "Keep swimming...keep swimming." Or, as I sometimes say to myself, "Press on, soldier." I don't have a choice, do I? 


Friday, November 15, 2013

Little of This....

Well, it's the end of the week and mine has been pretty dull. 

I did have a follow up appointment with our new primary care physician. All my blood work came back great. My cholesterol is great, my thyroid is great, blood sugar is great....all around aces. 

Which means I am not in early menopause or any other pause. Apparently, my only excuse for my bad attitude is a medical condition called"Bitchitis". However, I am happy to report the new medication she put me on is helping immensely and so I picked up my regular amount yesterday after my appointment. 

We had a phone call from one of the Evil Twin's oncology offices (he has 2 - one for radiation oncology and one for medical oncology) and they've scheduled his PET scan already for MONDAY Nov. 18. We had been told it would be at some point in December, so I'm just glad he'll be moving forward a bit and getting some more answers for things before we have to make other decisions (or not....depends on how the test turns out, really). 

With the yucky time change (I hate when it goes back an hour), I've been getting in bed earlier, which means I'm asleep earlier and then subsequently awake earlier in the morning. This is fine Monday thru Friday because the kids have to get up for school anyway and it gives me time to get my morning routine things set and Bella the Cat and Pip the Pup taken care of. 

Apparently, everyone loves breakfast and bathroom time around here in the mornings. I just kind of shuffle through it.  

Got the kids off to school, then came back and paid some bills, cleaned up the kitchen a bit, grabbed some coffee and then promptly conked out on the couch again. It's cold here, yo! I cannot get motivated! 

Enjoy your Friday, hooligans. I'll spend my weekend taking Sissy to her bowling league, planning next week's grocery trip and making phone calls. I'm sure it'll be every bit as exciting as it sounds!!! 


Wednesday, November 13, 2013

A Day Off for a Hausfrau

I had officially declared today to be my "day off", but that's really just a euphemism for "I'm not going to the grocery store AGAIN today (but I probably will because I'm out of ice cream)." 

Today will consist of resting a bit, but then mostly, taking care of banking/bills, making some phone calls, taking care of the Evil Twin, breaking up squabbles between my two "clients" (the dog and cat) and maybe putting on some make up and brushing my teeth. 

Yesterday, the Evil Twin and I were able to mark a couple of things of my "to do" list....

Before the Evil Twin got sick and lost his sense of taste, he loved sodas. So does Buddy, our almost 16 year old son. I quit drinking sodas years ago and Sissy will have a Sprite or an orange soda every now and then, but she likes her ice water.

Anyway, just between the two guys, I bought a ton of canned sodas. Back when I was in college, we had a can crusher in our little rented house and my then boyfriend and I would save the cans (lots of beer cans back in those days), then sell them for ...what?... MORE BEER MONEY. 

We're anti-hippies around here and don't recycle, besides, I figure if anyone is going to make money off the shit I need to throw away, it may as well be me. Amiright? 

So, I bought a can crusher for the workshop room and we started saving all those soda cans. Even after the Evil Twin stopped drinking sodas (because he has no taste buds right now), Buddy and his zitty teenage friends powered through the sodas. 

We had several of those really, really big black bags full. Yesterday, the Evil Twin and I took them to the recycling place and lo and behold! We made $30! (We had told Sissy she could have some of it for helping crush, so we gave her $10 and I put the other $20 back for Buddy's Christmas money). 

From there, we drove on the Mart of Wal where I sprang the items I had put on layaway for Sissy's Christmas. We won't have a big Christmas this year, but I think we chose the type of things Sissy loves to play with and Buddy will just get cash for his checking account. 

All in all, it was a good day and I'm glad to get those 2 things marked off my list. Now, I can concentrate on the next couple of things. 

I like to pace myself, y'all. 

I hope all my hooligans have a wonderful Wednesday!


Friday, November 8, 2013

Yay Friday, Indeed!

A fried on Facebook posted "Yay, Friday" for her status update and I thought, "I am so stealing that!!" 

I'm glad it's Friday too - and the kids' are off on Monday, so we have a long weekend. 

This has been a very long week here, so I'm just glad I can file this one in the "Next!" bin. 

The Evil Twin's biopsy on his skin tag thing came back....It's benign!! Yippee! He is recovering nicely, the swelling has gone down on his lip and he's taking his antibiotics as prescribed. 

Now, we just have to wait for an appointment on his PET scan. They said that would be in December, so hopefully, we'll get a date before too long. We'll see what the results are there (fingers crossed there is no cancerous activity in his neck at all! There's that one slightly larger than "normal" lymph node, which, as his oncologist assured us may just be a lymph node that's taking a little longer to heal up and get back to a regular size...)

So, I mentioned before that we're both seeing a new primary care doctor. We both really like her. She put me back on Zoloft (thank goodness, my stress and nerves were about shot) and sent me for blood work on my hormone levels because I had mentioned that I think I might be either in menopause or pre or whatever. Since I had a partial hysterectomy a few years ago, I guess my levels are the only way we'll know for sure. 

Well, that and my zero to bitchtastic attitude, night sweats, insomnia, along with some other symptoms. We'll see. I don't really mind getting older or having these things happen - it's all a part of the natural course of life - but I would like to know for sure what's going on and if there's anything to be done to lessen the impact, that would be nice. 

You guys know I'm brutally honest around here, so when I hear something, I'll let you know....I know you'll all be waiting in breathless anticipation (not!).   

Okay, I think I'm caught up on my dull yet stressful and anxiety filled week. I hope you all enjoy your Friday, hooligans and if you are off on Monday, enjoy your holiday day! 


Monday, November 4, 2013

Sometimes Being Sick Does Pay Off

My allergies were acting up last week, then I started having a sore throat (not normal with my allergies). Buddy had been sounding all stopped up for a few days I immediately thought of all the little germ wagons he and Sissy attend school with every day and knew it was my turn, too. 

Plus, I had spent a few hours in our new doctors' office (more on that later) the week prior with a dude who may have been 20 years old, max, but he didn't look so hot. 

I thought, "Dammit, I probably touched the same pen he did with his filthy flu germs or whatnot!"

I didn't know what was going on. 

Turns out, I had a garden variety cold along with my seasonal allergies, so I only FELT like I was going to die. 

Fortunately, after a few days and a weekend of rest and relaxation, I feel much better! 

Unfortunately, all the things I had to put on the back burner last week were just waiting for me this week! Yay! 

Numero uno: The registration for the Evil Twin's car was due for renewal by Nov. 1. I was too sick to make it there last week, but I made it this morning. Mission accomplished. His car is legal for another year in WV. (For the unaware, WV taxes its' citizens to within inches of their lives. This means we have to "register" our vehicles every year and also pay taxes on them, even if they're already paid for). 

Numero dos: The Evil Twin and I decided to switch to a new primary care physician. We both saw her last week. Along with a list of blood (lab) work she gave me, I was also prescribed a new medication (one I had taken before, but stopped, but shouldn't have...long story...). The new med made me sleepy. Then, I got the allergies/creeping crud, so lab work went on the back burner. After car registration time, I went to the lab. Mission accomplished.

Numero tres: The Evil Twin also had an appointment with his ENT and they found a "skin tag" sort of growth on his lip. Well, for anyone who is a cancer patient, extra growths mean "immediate biopsy". That was scheduled for this morning and the Evil Twin is home and resting now. His "growth"is floating in some super secret science-worthy solution and on the way to another super secret (and I'm sure expensive) lab for biopsy. Good news? The doctor said, "It's probably not cancer." Thanks, doc! So, Mission accomplished there as well. 

I do have to run by the grocery for a few food items and also to have a prescription filled for antibiotics. I spend so much time at that pharmacy, I'm pretty sure I should be on the daggone payroll. Just for being ME. 

They don't see it that way, hooligans, so ya know...their loss. Whatevs. :::ETW stock withering eye movement:::: 

I hope you all have a lovely Monday and even moreso, a lovely WEEK! Let's make it the BEST. WEEK. EVER! Say something nice to a co-worker (even the one who smells like eggs and spends too much time in the bathroom), help a child get a cheap trinket from the silly vending machines at a store, pay for breakfast for the person behind you at a fast food place....What goes around, comes around! 


Friday, November 1, 2013

Please Stand By

I will be back next week....

It seems as though life has just gotten in my way this week. 

Plus, I'm sick,

Plus, I don't have too much exciting to say, so thank your lucky stars I'm going to "save up"! 

Have a great Friday, hooligans,