Monday, November 25, 2013

Heartbroken for a Friend

I guess I should give some background on this before I start. 

Back in late July/early August 1997, I found out I was pregnant with Buddy. My due date was April 15. 

Now this is back in the stone ages when everyone still had AOL and dial up (including us). I found a board on there just for moms due in April 1998. We all started writing, sharing our stories, fears, questions and lives. I came to know these other moms as an extended family. Nearly all of us from the beginning are still friends and still write each other to this very day and our April Babies will be 16 soon (Buddy was the first "April Baby" born in January....little early bird!). 

Anyway, on our list is a grandmother of her first grandchild due in April. Her daughter didn't have a computer and so she wanted to join us since she was so excited to be having her first grandbaby. We welcomed her into our group as our "unofficial" grandma. I came to know her and her family. She has 3 grown children and 5 grandchildren now. 

Tragically, over this past summer, her son (in his mid 30s) was involved in a terrible accident that left him paralyzed from the neck down. Our "group grandma" and her 2 other children - daughters - all went to spend as much time as possible with him. 

He didn't have an easy time of it and for every step forward, there were 2 steps back. 

We were told (the group) that he had decided to remove his vent tube, which kept him breathing because he just couldn't go on like he was. Which I understand to a degree. He has a wife and a 12 year old daughter and so that part was really rough for me to get my head around, but I'm not living his life. 

Still, it made me very sad. I prayed for a miracle and if there couldn't be a miracle, then at least that he was as comfortable as possible as he said goodbye to his family, who were all there with him. 

He passed on Saturday after his vent was removed. He's at peace now and my prayers are for his family to find that same peace. 

I guess this situation really knocked me for a loop because while I didn't really "know" him, I've known him and his entire family for nearly 17 years, on the computer and in photos. I remember when his daughter was born. And, it's the first time I've ever "known" someone to request the tubes be removed themselves  - as opposed to someone being in a vegetative state and the family has to make that heartbreaking decision, know what I mean? 

I just can't make sense of any of it...from the accident where he became paralyzed to this tragic end. Doesn't make any sense. I don't suppose it ever will, but he and his family have been on my mind for days now. 

So, while I've been under the weather, yes, I've also been preoccupied by the thoughts of this young man. I'm glad I had the chance to "know" him. 

Enjoy your Monday, hooligans! It's a short week for us all! Thank goodness! 


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