Thursday, September 25, 2008

That's a Hair Don't!

I got my hair cut early yesterday. I typically wear it short/med. length and really, I didn't change the length much, but just went with a different style.

The jury is still out on whether I like it or not. I'm sure I'll be okay when I finally get the hang of styling it in a manner I find appealing.

The thing is, it seems like once women reach a certain age or become mothers, there's this unwritten, unspoken "hair length" rule.

Like, it's considered too youthful to wear your hair too far below the shoulder line. All I know is that the Evil Twin does not like me with bangs - he says it makes me look too young.

At first, I thought, "So? What's wrong with that?" Then, I realized that it's just probably not cool to forever look like I'm in my early 20s when I'm really a mom of two and now 40.

Come to think of it, I can't think of any moms at Buddy's school who have hair more than an inch or two below their shoulders.

That's not to say I don't know ANY moms or gals around my age who have long hair. My own biological mom has hair so long she can sit on it - she always keeps it tied back and braided, though.

It just seems like the norm is to reach a quiet compromise with ones hair once one is past the age of 30 or so.

I wonder why that is?

I mean, I can see from a mom's point of view, why it might be easier to have shorter hair. Shoulder length hair will dry much faster than waist length hair. A busy mom needs every spare moment she can steal.

What about women in the workforce? Is there something more professional about shorter hair? Wouldn't it be enough if the hair was just clean and brushed?

If I can get this new 'do to cooperate during styling tomorrow, perhaps I will add a new pic. Otherwise, it might be a day or so until I get the hang of the new style.

I have other thoughts on the topic, but I am currently too tired to get into it.


  1. Now that you mention it, every woman where I work has short hair. Way short. Boy styles.

  2. I read somewhere that you can tell how old a woman is by how often she changes her hairstyle or how often she's had the same haircut or something like that. You know, you change styles every few months in your twenties and then in your 40's, it's the same haircut foreverrrrrrr.

    Good for you for changing it up. Can't wait for a pic!

  3. The only thing I've heard in relationship to age and hair is "go lighter" as you get older, if you color that is. The same with make-up.

    LOL! I have bangs because my forehead is too high. If I don't have some kind of bang, even a longer one like have now, it doesn't look so good. And I love long hair, even though I've cut it very short a few times. It was always short as a kid and I always wanted it long.

    I do whatever makes me feel good about myself.

  4. Bucky - Even though I wore my hair "boy short" back in the 80s, I still don't get it (although my boy short styles included a mohawk and a crew cut - yes, seriously).

    K - I'm a gal of routine and certainty, even when I was younger. So, if I brought my mohawk back, people might think I'm younger? LOL.

    Inanna - bangs are totally back in style (they come and go, like hem lengths, yeah?). When my grey overruns my black, then I'll stop coloring. But, my 58 year old bio mom still has black hair (with greys mixed in). I just prefer to not see the greys and I can't imagine NOT having black hair - it's what I've seen all my life, ya know? And you're totally right about doing what makes each of us feel good about ourselves!

  5. I say get some cornrows or maybe Pipi Longstocking ponytails or something like that. :)

    Wait!! Dreadlocks!!

  6. I really want to get my hair cut "boy short" - with it really messy on the top - something that can stand up to riding in a convertible with no trouble.

    But I've had the same "hair pulled back in a clip" hair for so long that I am TERRIFIED to take the plunge!

    (also, the idea of paying $75 for someone to cut my hair vaguely nauseates me)

  7. I've had the same sort of hair thoughts lately! Seems like long hair just isn't really "en mode" once you are a mom or past 30 which ever comes first. I've been thinking about growing mine out lately cuz I've had it short (not super short, like shoulder length) for awhile, but theres only so much "style" you can do w/ long hair. Plust like you said, I don't really want to take a long time to style it in the mornings. I'm trying to find something different myself right now, hairwise. Be sure to post a pic soon!

  8. Ron - as a youthful punk girl back in college, I had a crew cut, but let my bangs grow in a "devil lock" manner. I tried really hard to get that devil lock to dread, but all it did was get greasy. The hazards of being a super uncool white girl I guess. LOL.

    NCP - $75?? I pay $18 + tip for a dry cut. You can find someplace for much cheaper! If you can roller derby, you can change your hairstyle. Go for it! :-)

    Vinomom - I looked online for inspiration and while my new 'do doesn't look like the pic, it's roughly the same cut - I just can't style it worth a shit. LOL.

  9. I don't know where these "rules" come from but they sure are real. Weird how over time "normal" for a given age changes. Used to be the older a gal got the more likely she'd have it up in a bun.

    Good luck getting used to the new style. I hate that part of new dos.

  10. Ohhhhh..pigtails are hot ;)

    I think if you're over 30, hair down to your waist is waaaaaaaaaaaay to long.

    Girls that work for me have shoulder length.

  11. I wore waist long hair in to my 30's then went shoulder length. Once I hit 40 I kept it shoulder length, but every now and then would chop it all is one of those times. Last Friday I had most of it cut off. I got tired of prying the baby's fists out of it plus I just wanted something different. I haven't decided if I like it yet, actually I keep forgetting I did it because I don't look in the mirror much. :)
    Can't wait to see a pic of your new do!

  12. I wear bangs because my upper hairline is thin and bangs just hide that and help me have a thicker looking frame around my face. I also color it and wear it down to my shoulders and past my neckline in back because I don't look particularly good in short cuts unless I'm really really thin & my cheekbones are more prominent.

    Some women my age (upper 40's) are totally gray and all chopped off which is fine for them, if they want to look like they're already in their mid 60's. But they make comments to those of us who still wear longer hair and color & use makeup, like it's a crime or something. I think if they were truly comfortable with who they are, they wouldn't need to be on that witch hunt, so frankly, I just ain't gonna join 'em 'till I'm locked up in the nursing home and have no choice, lol!

  13. I think people who work in professional offices should have no longer than shoulder length hair - or just grazing the shoulder. If bangs make you look young - go for it! There'll be many years where bangs won't help, so make the most of it now!

    I've almost always had short to medium hair because my hair does better at those lengths, but I did have a shoulder length page boy in high-school.

    I don't care to see older women with very long hair. I know one in Chas. (a lawyer) who has hair she can sit on. It isn't pretty hair either,(too thin and frizzy) and she doesn't blunt cut it, which would make it better. I wish she could realize how tacky it makes her look.

  14. After years of fighting my fine, mousey hair I discovered the short haircut. I wear my hair "boy" short and bleach it platinum blond. It works for me. I work in fashion and I am able to get it done at the salon a few doors down from my shop on a moments notice. I am a great believer in the barter system and most of my haircuts are paid in trade. That way I can keep my haircuts fresh and not break the bank. My salon also offers free touch ups within 6-8 weeks. That's like a free haircut in between. sweet!

  15. BB - it's so maddening that I'm tempted to just go back to my old style, because I somewhat could. Grrrr. I need to take a class on Hair Styling 101.

    Efen - I think shoulder length is a more professional look. Plus, you can choose from many styles in a shoulder length (for girls, of course!).

    MEL - I saw your new 'do and it's cute. It was short like that when we met, remember?

    Carolyn - I think some people look great w/ bangs and I couldn't imagine them without them. And honey, if we end up in the same nursing home we can have each other's backs! :-)

    Kenju - I'm not really a bangs person. I think if older ladies would like to have the super long hair, it should be tied back or done in a bun or something. I've never been a fan of the free flowing hair you can sit on. (at any age!).

  16. Ms (soon to be Mrs) - I think some people have a better face for "boy short" hair. If the hair style makes them look cute and trendy, great. If it makes them look 20 years older, then not so great. Yours is extremely cute!

  17. If I had boy short hair I'd a boy. Being tall and braod-shouldered doens't help, nor does the giant German/Irish face thing I've got going on. :)

    My hair is past my shouders, almost to the bra line. The fella likes it long, so long it is. I really don't care. It gets pulled back in some configuration or other on a daily basis - I think I only sleep with it loose! Don't care for it all laying on my neck and getting in my eyes, etc. Then again, I'm too lazy to style a shorter do, so the long works for me.

  18. Can't wait to see it! I don't think that rule is unspoken anymore. All those makeover shows say it, but I'm not totally buying it. I think you have to do what works for you. Though hopefully, I won't have my same hairdo at 80...cuz that would be weird.

  19. Tiff - I think I've had every length known to exist. I know what you mean about the long hair being a bother sometimes, but that's what hair bands were made for. :-)

    Honeywine - if I have my same hairdo at 80, that would totally be the way I roll. I am very resistant to change! LOL.

  20. My MIL is 80 and she has the same hairstyle she had at 50, and it looks very good on her! :)

  21. My MIL is 80 and she has the same hairstyle she had at 50, and it looks very good on her! :)

  22. Anything worth saying once is worth saying twice, lol

  23. Okay, I'm a day late and a dollar short but this is a subject that hits close to home. I am 37 (as of Wednesday) and I have hair just to the bottom of the bra line. Sometimes, I wear long bangs swept to the side, other times I grow them chin length. It is extremely healthy and well kept. I have three young kids, cook, clean and work in the garden. I wear a ponytail (neat and clean, as well) and it is perfectly appropriate at all times.
    I worked in the hair/beauty industry form many years and this topic is always strongly debated.
    The artsy types say it's boring to wear it long and girlie, while the old school hairstylists think that it's a woman's crowning glory and it should be kept in a manner that is most flattering, regardless of trends.
    I happen to believe that if we can look like we're in our 20's why wouldn't we? When we're 80 are we going to try not to look like we're 60? Don't get me wrong I love all kinds of styles short and long alike -- Mine used to be a fire engine red short pixie! I just think that someone (think: angry woman with bad hair) started this crazy notion that we girls need to "tone it down" or "not try to look too young" because they don't look too hot themselves. Hmm, wonder where it really started.
    Look at Hollywood. If all of those hottie mamas cut their hair shoulder length and tried to follow the rules, what fun would it be? And those makeover shows - ugh! Why do they always cut the mane of the subject and tell her she needs a "fresh look" while they keep the same (most of them long) style season after season? Because it looks good!!
    I love everything over the top because life's too short to hold back, and I love my long luxurious hair!
    ET'sW: You are gorgeous, always, and you should go with whatever makes you feel fabulous. If that doesn't work, befriend a hairdresser man (in touch with his feminine side) to give you some big hair for a day. Bet you'll feel like a million bucks! 'Nuf said ;-)