Friday, June 27, 2008

The Peel Out Dairy Queen

Yes, this is another story from years ago, but it still makes me laugh.

The Evil Twin and I woke up one morning and were both in terrible moods. This was waaay before Buddy was born. I recall it was July - because it was the Ornament Premiere at Hallmark (I'm an addict). So, we had gone to Hallmark where I picked up my ornament order (yes, I pre-order hundreds of dollars worth of ornaments every year).

Afterwards, we were going to grab lunch out and decided on Dairy Queen in Scott Depot. So, the Evil Twin pulls up and proceeds to place the order.

He orders "Four hot dogs with chili and cheese and a large fry." He didn't bother himself with ASKING me what I wanted, he just ordered for me.

That is the point where I totally lost my shit.

I am not originally from WV - so I like my hot dogs mainly with just mustard and onions, occasionally with chili. But I feel putting cole slaw on a hot dog is really never right. And cheese? Please... I'm not from Ohio, either.

Plus, I worked at a DQ back in college. I know how they do cheese on a weiner. It's a half a slice of "It's not really a real food product" processed American cheese, not shredded cheese artfully sprinkled on the chili.

We had such a huge screaming match right there after he pulled up from the ordering speaker area that he just peeled out in the parking lot and drove off like a mad man, before we even got to the window where you pay and recieve the food.

I've often wondered who ate those four hot dogs.

Ever since then, we've referred to that Dairy Queen as "The Peel Out Dairy Queen". And yes, we did go back there to eat from time to time. But, not very often. It brought back bad memories.

But, the Evil Twin never ordered for me again.


  1. What? Is there some Ohio thing that says we all have to have cheese on a hot dog? What makes you think that every person in Ohio needs to have cheese! I'm so freaking offended that I've actually broken down into tears here in my office.... I think I'll go get a hot dog with some cheese on it as a comfort food.

  2. Better Half would NEVER order for me, in fact he won't even order for himself...I have to lean over him and try to yell our order into the speaker. He has some weird phobia about talking to pick up window speakers, or maybe faceless voices...drives me nuts!
    BTW, I love coleslaw on a hotdog!

  3. Ron - hey, I gave you Ohioans credit for the "artful" cheese placement! ;-)

    Exciting - LOL at the order process. You are clearly a twisted individual for the coleslaw thing. ;-)

  4. Ok, here's the deal. I don't eat meat, especially hot dogs...

    But at home when we do BBQ, I'll eat a bun with vegetarian chili, onions and SLAW.. .Heh.

    Big T dares not order for me. He knows I'd flip.

  5. Damn you know us Ohioans so well.

    I love cheese on my hot dogs!

  6. I'm grillin' tonight, and picked up some creamy cole slaw just for my dogs. Mr Wonderful is a native Texan, and he's with you on the slaw dog thing.

    I'll never look at a Dairy Queen without thinking of your story now!!:)

  7. As a WV-ian born and bred, I have hot dogs with chili, slaw and a little mustard, and I order my own food - always!! LOL

  8. Diva - hot dogs are definitely the grossest "meat". I don't know why I eat them. I was vegetarian for many years.

    PrePo - see?

    T - we're grilling tonight too, but no dogs. Steaks.

    kenju - the Evil Twin had a bit of a brain fart that day! LOL.

  9. Is the singular of "Fries" "Fry"? Man, I've been getting it wrong! Next I'll be saying Sheeps.

    Usually I dare not order for the other half. Her menu choice is usually dependent on a whoel range of factors including weather, planet alignments and colour coordination ;-)

  10. I hate hot dogs anyway. I just order the bun with chilli & slaw. You'd be surprised how often that throws the guy/gal at the counter. Most times it ends up with the weiner on it anyway, which I promptly remove, wrap in a napkin, and take home to the dog.

    I also hate anything that's artifically fruit flavored. I mean, what's the point of that? LOL!

  11. Shit I say just eat the food, complain later, no need to make a fxxxing scene, and demand to let you order for yourself from now on...too much shit for the event!

  12. OMG that's hilarious. The stories that stay with a person for years are always worth hearing (and telling). I hate slaw on any bread (hot dogs or BBQ). I do not understand the draw for having your bread get all milk-soppy.

    Twisted Shit is the only person who ever dared order for me. We were in NYC and he ordered red beans and rice for both of us. At the time I don't know what I hated more red beans or rice. It's something I never would've order. If it had been the only thing the restaurant served, I would've gone elsewhere. That was the very day I began plotting my safe flight away from Twisted Shit.

  13. PS: Melted cheese on any meat that isn't from the poultry family is just plain wrong.

  14. AC - LOL. You got it!

    Carolyn - they are nasty, but I can't help myself.

    Rizzo - huh? I don't think you understand. We were both in rotten moods and he never ordered for me before that or again. This happened over a decade ago. We laugh about it now.

    BB - you have to eat one with slaw quickly. I've had a few... And I do enjoy a cheeseburger

  15. Now that you mention it, I do like cheeseburgers sometimes, I love a steak hoagie with cheese, and I'm an even bigger fan of a ham hoagie with cheese.

    In light of that, I should have said: Cheese on hot dogs is just plain wrong.

  16. PS: Cheese must be real cheese, not some pasteurized, processed cheeselike substance.

  17. BB - cheese on a hot dog IS wrong. And I agree about the real cheese on a burger/steak sandwich Strangely, I will eat a hot dog, but I'm not a ham/pork fan.

  18. Ok, since we're talking about "meats with cheese" (er, we WERE talking about that, right?) can I just give a quick shout-out to the famous Gino's Pizza Pubwich, please? Genius.

  19. Laura - OK. The Pubwich does contain ham, but I also like it. I was on a Pubwich streak about 12 years ago until I burned the Evil Twin out on it. LOL.

  20. In my section of NC, the Standard order for hot dogs (AND hamburgers) is known as "All the Way".

    All the Way (AW for short) consists of Mustard, Onions, Chili and Slaw.

    It took me a LONG time to get used to that.

  21. Renn - NC is practically WV, jr. LOL. We seem to lose a lot of folks to you. I think that's the standard for WV hot dogs too. But, it's "with everything".

  22. One night, before we were married, dh and I were at a bar with a friend of his and hit up the hot dog truck in the street at about 1 AM. The guys probably got chili and junk on it, and just mustard.

    His friend took one look at my dog (ketchup and mustard - brown) and said "Dump her!"

    He was kidding of course. He ended up being our best man, but he has strong opinions about proper hot dog condiments.

  23. Oh, and a hot dog stuffed with cheddar and wrapped in bacon and drizzled with maple syrup is HEAVEN.

    It's some New England thing, but it is goood.

  24. See this really irritates me. Your poor Evil Twin husband. You show no appreciation for him being the hunter/gatherer and procuring meatstuff for his womern. UNCOOL of you. I'm sorry but your hubby was just trying to do right by you.

    Now if you had complained because he didn't order some kind of meat on a stick I'd have your back. But not this time. You should go apologize to him right now. Go on. Go.

    Just go.

  25. K - some folks are strict in their hot dog toppings, I am the "order what I feel like at that moment" type. That cheese/hot dog/bacon thing sounds suspicious, but I'll take your word for it. :-)

    Stew - We were both being insufferable asses that day. Trust me, I've made it up to him over the years. ;-)

  26. If we are talking about Gino's...and somehow we randomly are...I love their steak sandwich. It just works. It shouldn't. But it does. I'm sure it's violating Newton's third law or something.