Thursday, June 12, 2008


Yesterday, I went to get the mail. We only had two things in the mailbox. One thing for the the Evil Twin and a piece of junk mail for moi:

Now, these people are clearly wasting their money sending this to me.

The Evil Twin and I have more sex than should be allowed for a 15 year old marriage. (TMI - sorry 'bout that, folks, but you know? We ARE married!).

In fact, I wake him up some nights if he goes to bed before I do, just to molest him. He doesn't mind.

It reminds me of a joke I tell.

When a couple first gets together, they have "all over the house" sex. The kitchen, bathroom, living room - no place is safe. After a few years of being together, it evolves into "bedroom" sex - strictly the bedroom and bed. Several years later, it becomes "hallway" sex. This is where they pass in the hallway, give each other the finger and say "Fuck you!"

Since we have children, we're somewhere between stage 1 and 2. Mostly 2. You know, in case the oldest one wakes up and needs us, at least we'd be behind a closed and locked door.

We've only been "caught" once and that was pretty tame. The Evil Twin had his mouth on one breast and Buddy came in and asked what he was doing.

The Evil Twin said he was "Just smelling mommy's armpit." Not a real plausible answer, but the only one he could come up with at a moment's notice.

Since then, we shut and lock the door. LOL.


  1. Lol on the armpit cover story.

  2. There was always the possibly poisonous spider that bit you. He had to suck the poison out before you died!! Ummm... I guess that could have been traumatic too... Stick with the armpit cover story.

  3. I'd think "midnight snack" would be better than sniffing armpit but on second thought, maybe your hubby used a more workable line. Ron's explanation has a certain cachet tho.

  4. Yeah...I'll be chuckling about the armpit story all day...LOL

  5. For thinking "quick"...the armpit story apparently worked, although I like some of these suggestions in the comments. LOL

  6. k - we got a kick out of it, too.

    Ron - the Evil Twin hates spiders so he probably wouldn't have gone that route, but good thinkin!

    U - it would have been an early morning snack (which we didn't think anyone was awake yet...)

    BG - yep... pretty funny in a sad way.

    themom - Yeah, I think Buddy just said, "Ewww." and walked out.

  7. We have a teenager who still doesn't understand the concept of knocking before just trying to bust into any room of the house he sees fit.

    He's caught us once. And I pray to God he was scarred for life.

  8. Locking doors are sanity savers. Totally.

  9. ROFL One day in therapy, Buddy made a startling realization. He'd been doing it wrong all along. LOL

  10. I think that is the only reason why there are locks on the inside doors of a house.

  11. Diva - LOL!

    Tiff - I agree!

    Honeywine - Poor Buddy.

    Wyld - That sounds about right.