Boiling

Sooooo, our little berg has been under a "boil water advisory" since some point Saturday morning. 

I'm not really sure what the deal is other than "a clear well overflowed due to a mechanical mishap" or something like that. What it means for us is that we're either boiling water or using bottled water. 

When I picked up Sissy from school, she had a bottled water in her backpack with her name on the lid. I send her to school every day with a SIGG bottle of ice water - a whole 'nother story on that one - so I figured she'd be good, but since the water thingy, the fountains are out of commission and not all kids have an anal retentive mother like her, so ALL students got a bottle. 

I'm sure they'll all get one today too. 

I drink a lot, like I mean A FREAKING BOATLOAD LOT of ice water daily. I don't drink sodas or anything else. I am still reheating the coffee I made over the weekend - and by reheating, I mean putting some in the microwave, but I haven't even had any of that today. I'm sticking with the bottled water over ice. 

I figure the cubes are fine since they've been in the ice/water maker tray for a while. I don't know. If I die of eColi, I'm sure you'll hear about it. 

The Evil Twin likes room temperature bottled water since he started his treatments back in June, so I've been buying bottles for a while now. Typically, I didn't since we have a filter on the water from the ice/water thingy on the fridge door and we have a Brita faucet mounted filter for the tap. But, like I said, I've been buying the bottled stuff for him. 

I usually just pick it up when I see it fairly cheap and that's what I did one day at Kroger. I got their brand, I think it was $2.50 a case (24 bottles). Well, the bottles are so flimsy, we're certain that if they were to make them any cheaper, they'd just be baggies full of water. Once about a quarter of the water is out of the bottle, the bottle just kind of collapses on itself. 

Ah well, ya get what you pay for right? 

I boiled a kettle of water this morning for the Evil Twin's feedings. While he's still on the tube feedings, I have to flush the tube with water before the feeding and then after. Generally I use slightly warmer tap water, but now, I'll have to use the cooled down water I've boiled or bottled water. I just hope they hurry along with their testing and let us know if the water is contaminated or not or what and just get on with it! 

So far, it's been pretty quiet on updates. No one really seems to know what's going on.

They've even advised to use boiled water for brushing one's teeth. Hey! I've been to Mexico! I know how to brush my teeth with diarrhea water, okay? I was there for a week and never got Montezuma's Revenge, so I think I'm good. I did let Sissy use bottled water to brush her choppers before bed last night because I hadn't boiled any that late. 

It's always fun, fun, fun when you live in chemical valley, hooligans! Have a great Tuesday. :-)

Love,

Brain Dead

I'm a little brain dead this morning. There for a while, I went through a period where I had terrible insomnia. Now, I can't stay awake to save my life!

I get in bed fairly early and do some reading or play a game (I'm currently on Candy Crush, if you didn't already know), then the next thing I know, I'm out like a light.

Typically, I wake up around 4A, but for the last week, I've been sleeping until my alarm goes off at 6. And even that's been rough. I've never been a morning person and don't expect I'll ever become one, so that's not much of a surprise.

Anyway, I drag my sorry self out of bed this morning and get my day rolling. Buddy has to be at school an hour before Sissy does, so I wake him up, he does his thing and when he leaves to walk to school, then I wake Sissy up, get her breakfast, dress her, and fix her ice water and snack for the school day.

Shortly before it was time for us to head out, I told her to get her shoes on, then let me brush her hair real quick. THEN she says, "Wait! I need to write a short piece for a make up page in my journal."

WHHHAAATTT?? I have my car keys IN.MY.HAND. I said, "Sorry, missy, we have to go NOW. You had all weekend if you had work to do for school, you neglected to do it and now we have to leave. Perhaps Mrs. K will let you finish it in class if there's a chance."

So, she did what any self-respecting 7 year old (or myself) would do and started crying. However, her tears were no match for the anal intensity of my need to BE.ON.TIME.

This was after I didn't want to get out of bed in the first place, woke up to find that the cat had peed on the couch (again) and then proceeded to listen to the neighbors' dog bark incessantly for about an hour and a half. I was just in no mood.

I did get her to school in time - and even without tears, I might add - hers or mine.

I had planned on a trip to the grocery for today, but in my now foul and anxiety ridden soul, I'll just procrastinate and do it tomorrow. Yes, on senior day. It's no skin off my nose. I'm never in a hurry anyway, so shuffle away busload of seniors. Ya got nothing on me.

Happy Monday, hooligans!

Love,

Insanity

I'm losing it over here. I can't stop laughing about the recent absurdity in my life. There's always some sort of chaos going on. For those of you who read my former blog, also by the same name, you'll understand what I'm talking about.

I had to change my blog location due to various assholes, so IF I catch wind of an asshole round these parts (I track ISPs), I will block you. But, for all my other favorites and people who are decent: read your hearts out. I'm like a phoenix, baby.

The Evil Twin and I have had a helluva couple of years now. First, my going into rehab and struggling to stay sober and on the program (it's tough!) and then a few months later, he was diagnosed with cancer. Metastatic disease of the neck, specifically. What it means in regular people terms is: neck cancer. It's pretty rare and he had a particularly unusual case - making it even more of a mystery for the oncologists to work out a proper plan.

It was decided that he'd undergo some seriously aggressive radiation and chemotherapy. Originally, he was slated for 7 weeks. Radiation every day, Monday thru Friday, for 35 sessions and chemo once a week concurrently.

A little set back the week prior to his last few treatments got him a one way ticket to the ER where he was admitted. He was severely dehydrated and his white blood cell count was dangerously low. They kept him in the hospital, in isolation, for about 3.5 days. They did not resume his treatments until the following week, which meant his 7 week ordeal became 8, even though one of those weeks was "off" while he recuperated in the hospital.

At the onset of this devastating news, I had a relapse. I felt out of control and scared and I fell back to what I knew would (at least temporarily) help me forget things and feel "normal" (whatever that means) again.

Well, the ol' shit hit the fan and when word got out to family and friends, most of them dropped me like a hot potato.

How could I do this to him, to our family, at this crucial time?

The truth is I didn't do it TO anybody. I did it to self-medicate and I had no thoughts of who I might be harming around me or how that would look. When you're an alcoholic, sometimes, just getting that drug back in your system seems like the only solution to EVERYTHING. In reality, it's the downfall of everything, but an alcoholic doesn't use rational thinking during times like this if they're not prepared with the proper spiritual tools to cope. I wasn't. So, I fell.

I apologized. I bounced right back and got back on my program, but it fell on deaf ears this time. My own mother in law and the Evil Twin's brother both ignored me, wouldn't take my phone calls, never called to check on me and when they needed to know about the Evil Twin, they called each other and far as I know, made stuff up. They weren't getting info from me (because they didn't bother to call or return my calls) and they weren't talking to him because he was too ill to do anything. I'm sure it went thru the famous "Brenda Filter" (that's what we call the filter my now ex mother in law uses to make up her own truths.).

Anypoodle, this all boils down to her issuing a statement that "If I loved my family, I should leave them alone and go off and be a drunk." There was also a statement about how I "didn't need to drag them down to the pits of hell where an alcoholic is."

I resent the fact that I was characterized as someone who didn't love my family enough to stop drinking. The truth is: I hated myself so much I couldn't stop drinking. To blame someone for an illness they never wanted is just flat out wrong.

When I was a child, I never said my prayers and then added, "Oh yeah, I'd like to be an alcoholic, too" anymore than the person with diabetes or cancer did when they were a child - or even as an adult for that matter. NO ONE WANTS IT.

It's disheartening and reprehensible in my book that after 21 of loving their son, their brother, they threw me under the bus for one mistake I apologized profusely for and even tried to give them the tools to understand why a person like me would do such a thing.

At any rate, I'm back. My site needs some TLC and I'll have to work on some re-formatting, but until I get enough free time, this'll have to do. Sorry 'bout that. But, I am glad to be back my hooligans! I've missed you!

Love,

Allied

There are several and varied pages I like on Facebook. What can I say? I'm a girl of many interests.

Sometimes, I see little posters or images or witty sayings that I think are cute or funny or that I can relate to and I'll hit the share button. It's an easy way to spread a happy thought or something silly that made me laugh.

One of the sites I "like" is called "Have A Gay Day". It's a great site and I enjoy the things they post. They've had a thing going around about "Allies".



I won't share it. I can't.

I'm not an ally.

I'm listed in that little "I am not..." part of it. I won't say that I'm not. I may even be more than one of those on the list. It's hard to pigeon hole a girl of many interests.

It's not that I don't support the sentiment, because I do. Really, really!

I love the Evil Twin. I married him. I am a female and he is a male. That's just how it worked out for me.

But, I never set out to fall in love with a body part. I wanted to find a special person. The outer package that person was wrapped in was kinda secondary.

I met the Evil Twin. The rest is history.

See ya around, hooligans!

Love,

A Sad Case of Sleepies

For the past several months, I've been having a hard time falling asleep. I find things to do late at night: watch a movie, catch up on tv shows online, sort thru bills, etc. I can get quite a bit accomplished when the house is quiet and I have plenty of time on my hands.

So, I've got my sleep issues, but I still get up around 6:30A, give or take a few minutes. The Evil Twin wakes me up after he gets the coffee going and then I wake up the kids and make sure everyone is prepared for the day. Get breakfast for the children, make the Evil Twin's lunch and get the little one dressed for the day. I also make sure her backpack is ready to go and she has everything in there for her day.

Buddy walks to school, then the Evil Twin is the next to leave the house and finally. I drive Sissy to school myself. Typically, I come back home, have a bit of coffee, check my email/Facebook stuff, then get my day started.

However, with the weather being colder than a witches teat lately, I've been finding it harder and harder to get motivated. And, it seems like the earlier I'm able to get to sleep - and early for me is around 1 or so AM - the harder it is for me to make myself do much after everyone is out for the day. So, I end up getting cozy in bed.

Our room is warm and it just sucks me into a state of relaxation.

Last night/this morning, I was attempting to sleep around 1:30A - again, early for me - but then, I started to get a headache. I ignored it and closed my eyes anyway...for about 45 minutes. Then, I started hearing noises. I may have been dreaming it, and probably was, but it didn't matter by then. I was already playing Insomnia Jeopardy in my head:

And last night/this morning, it was "I'll take Strange Noises for $40, Alex." Ugh!!

Sometimes, I wish my brain didn't do SO MUCH thinking, thinking, thinking....ALL.THE.TIME.

Once the weather warms up, I think I'll be less sluggish in the mornings and perhaps even better equipped to turn my light out and attempt to sleep earlier - as in truly, the night BEFORE as opposed to "some point early in the morning of the actual NEXT day". I think that would be helpful.

We'll see. Spring cannot get here fast enough. Until then, I will continue to daydream about moving South. It gives me something fun to think about at least, rather than something to worry about.

Have a great Thursday, my hooligans! I will be back tomorrow. Just in time for Friday, which means my sleeping will be all "weekend oriented" (read "super jacked up"). Oh, well....

Love ya,

Some Things Never Change

And apparently, my ability to procrastinate is one of those never changing situations. It's been another busy week here at Casa Evil Twin.

Monday was Buddy's 15th birthday. I usually post about his birthday on the actual day, but it was also MLK day here (observed), so the kids didn't have school and the Evil Twin had the day off as well. We decided to just relax at home. Buddy wanted pizza for lunch, so that's what we had.

As he gets older, the withering looks at his dorky parents become more frequent, so we try to not be too corny about anything. It's hard, though, because I'm starting to believe that just my mere existence is reason enough for him to feel shame. LOL. I remember those feelings myself, so it doesn't hurt my feelings any. I know it'll pass.

We were back to the old grind yesterday, but Sissy had an orthodontist appointment in the afternoon, so I had to get her out of school a little early. She had one of those expander appliances put on right before Christmas, so this was a follow up appointment for that and also for them to put the bottom part of the appliance on. The bottom piece just snaps on, so it was quick and we made it back home much sooner than I had anticipated.

Now, it's Wednesday. My first day of NO family activities, no family home and nothing on my calendar in what feels like forever. I do need to make it to the grocery at some point, but I am not in any big rush to get out there. Shoot, it's 12:30P and I haven't even had a shower yet.

I do have some household chores I need to wrap up before school is out today, so I'm gonna run and get a few things accomplished.

Have a happy hump day, my hooligans and we'll chat more tomorrow (I hope!)

Love,

CPR

I know I've been missing for quite some time, so I'm going to attempt some CPR on this here old blog. Y'all wouldn't believe the last few weeks I've had. I'll outline some of the high(?)lights in a later post, but let's just leave it at sick kids, holiday madness and chaos, sick me, getting back into the school routine and more sick kids and sick me, redux.

Christmas was really good, even with all the hectic nature of it. Everything came together nicely and right on time and we enjoyed it.

It went too fast, as usual. Before I knew it, it was time for the kids to return to school. I was enjoying my mornings of less hustle and bustle. And, I'm STILL easing back into the ol' routine. I'm nothing if not predictable and I have always been slow on changey type business.

Even though I have had 2 bouts with the creeping crud - and I'm still fighting episode II - I managed to make a few notes on my downtime for blog ideas. That should keep me in business at least a few more days.

I know y'all are ecstatic over that! What's life without your own personal dumb brunette to liven things up a bit? Not much, I'd say!

And with that, I need to really get started on my day here. Never a dull moment for the Mo-Mo - I'm like the Po Po, but not as legal and shit. I'm every bit as intimidating, authoritative and pastry-lovin' though! There's something to be said about that.,.. And I hope it's all good. I know my hooligans wouldn't want to hurt my feelings, anyway.

Have a great Tuesday, hooligans and come back for me. Shit's about to get REALZ around here. :-) Yay!

Love,

Buddy's Buddies

Momming a teenager is quite interesting. When he's in a good mood, we can have lots of fun joking around about stupid things. When he's not in a good mood...well, look out! I begin to wonder if it's the same sweet baby child from years ago.

Then again, he does look an awful lot like me, so I can't ever deny that one. He's mine, fo sho.

Like most kids his age, he does have a motley crew of other pimple faced youths he hangs out with. His best bud for the last few years just lives right up the street, so they walk home together and will often either both stop by here after school or both walk to his house to hang for a bit after school.

This boy is super sweet. He has a great family - they're all really nice folks.

We'll call Buddy's friend D, cause that's his initial. D is polite as all get out. He has also earned the nickname "The Loudest Teenager Alive" by the Evil Twin and I, because the kid has a powerful set of lungs. He just doesn't seem to have an inside voice, but he does have a big family, so maybe increased volume is needed at his house.

Anypoodle, one day D stopped by after school and he and Buddy went downstairs to play on the Wii (It had been in Buddy's room, but he decided it would be more fun on a larger TV in an area where there is also more room to move around). They played downstairs and I didn't think anything about it.

Later in the evening, after D had gone home, the Evil Twin went downstairs to work on his computer. Sissy was with him. I was cleaning up in the kitchen when the Evil Twin appeared in the doorway, holding a Magnadoodle. He held it up and said, "Sissy found this on the futon." Well, I thought he was just being silly, because the Magnadoodle said "Suck a Cock" - and seriously, that is something the Evil Twin would do and then blame it on invisible forces because he knows it would make me laugh.

I said, "No, she didn't! You wrote that! Stop being gross." He said, "I swear, I didn't write it." Then, he called for Buddy. I said, "That's not his handwriting, he didn't do that either." When Buddy saw it, he said, "D did that. I was playing Soul Caliber and he must have left it there." The Evil Twin said, "Well, your sister found it. Just tell your friends to hide evidence like this next time."

Of course, we both thought it was funny, in that typical teenage way. We didn't think it was funny Sissy found it, but even being a stellar reader, she didn't understand what it meant. The Evil Twin told her it didn't mean anything, it was just silly, but not to repeat it or think about it anymore.

I'm sure Buddy was mortified and if he mentioned it to D, I'm sure he's mortified too. If they only knew how much we have laughed about this incident, maybe they'd feel less mortified. Hell, who am I kidding? They're teenagers, they're mortified by everything. It's just their nature.

I hope this finds you in a cheery mood, my hooligans. Enjoy your Wednesday and I'll be back!

Love,

Livin' la Vida...

And staying busy! As it happens every year, when Halloween approaches, my calendar goes on steroids and I'm left scrambling trying to fit it all in, get it all done, etc.

This madness continues until about March. After Thanksgiving, my neices' birthdays (one in Nov., one in Dec.), Christmas, Buddy's birthday (Jan) and Sissy's birthday (Feb) and the occasional threat of bad weather thrown in and it's a chaotic mix for sure.

Due to my crazy schedule and my MS, I've been having trouble making it to AA meetings on a regular basis. Well, long story short, my "sponsor" didn't like that and ask me to "rearrange my schedule so I'd be less exhausted and able to get to meetings more often."

After I asked her if she knew *anything* (even one fact would have sufficed) about MS, she replied, "No", nor was she willing to look anything up on my condition and considers most everything an "excuse", I told her to stuff it. And, poof! I'm done.

Just like that, my schedule cleared up a whole hell of a lot. The way I see it, her job is to give advice when it comes to alcoholism. Advise about any other health condition is outside of her expertise and is best left to the neurologists and those who must live with it. I have a choice to pick up a drink or not. I have no choice how, why or when MS will affect me. Not even I know that.

I'm a free agent. But, that does not mean I will abandon the program completely. I will still do my reading each day and I will stay in touch with a few people in the program I've come to know and trust. I just won't be going to those silly meetings.

I've never been a "joiner" and I don't enjoy hobnobbing, especially when so many people get on my nerves. Stress will drive me back to the bottle faster than not attending meetings will.

As I said, I am not falling back on my own freewill in this matter. I will continue with the principals of the program as I set out to do several months ago (that also being said, I have only been sober for 67 days...still yet, the longest time ever, not counting my pregnancies....where I did not drink, AT ALL). Anyhoot, there ya go.

It's a freeing experience. I feel good. Positive. Happy. Well, that and the fact I changed a certain someone's ringtone on my phone to the "wicked witch" music from Wizard of Oz. I'm not naming names or even implying who that might be. After all, it IS alcoholics ANONYMOUS for a reason, right?

Hey, batter, batter, batter....(I'm trying to distract you for a minute). Have a lovely Monday, hooligans and I'll be back.

Love,

#FirstWorldProblems

And by the title, yes, I know this is petty. Since January of 1998, after Buddy was born extra super prematurely, I have been a stay at home mom. We didn't know where we were going with it or if it was even possible to maintain and sustain on a single income.

The Evil Twin is not a lawyer, doctor or hell, even a plumber (those guys make a LOT of money!). He's a good husband, a great father and works his butt off to allow the children and I. He doesn't do it because he has to, he does it because he wants to. He wants the children to have their mom available. If they wake up sick or if the school calls me an hour into the school day because one is sick, I can be there.

Over the past how many ever years (15?) I've been at home, not much has changed. Society still doesn't think I contribute much and these "opinions" are frequently said right to my face. The other interesting question I receive on a regular basis is "When do you plan on going back to work?" #1. I do work and #2. No one ever said "ETW, you have a college education. Don't blow it by putting your children first, get out there and show society us liberated women can 'have it all'."

And all this blather is just to bring me to today's point. People who have jobs outside the home, doesn't matter if it's day shift, night shift, whatever - they are allowed by law to have certain break times and typically a "lunch" period. I rarely get either.

Back when Buddy was younger, before Sissy was born, I took my schedule seriously. When I was in between chores and felt hungry, I'd fix myself something to snack on for lunch. I didn't answer the phone, the door, or do anything but sit and eat my little plate of cheese and crackers or whatever I felt like having.

These days, I just don't eat. That will change..starting today. I just had breakfast. The phone didn't ring. The Earth didn't stop spinning on its' axis! Sure, I lost a few minutes where I could have been doing something more productive - maybe even getting a shower!

Well, I did multi-task a little...I wrote this while eating. Writing is another luxury of the well-heeled, apparently. Maybe I'll just allow myself a few minutes of writing and eating (at the same time) and that will help me get back into the swing of things on this nearly dead blog.

With that, I am going to get back to reality. My dear hooligans, have a wonderful Monday!

Love,

To Whom It May Concern

Dear Bad Driver,
Last week, while taking my daughter to school, you pulled out from your parking spot on a 2 way street. However, this 2-way street has cars parked on both sides. Drivers take turns pulling over close to the curb to allow drivers from the opposite direction to pass as space allows.

I had the right of way and was trying to get down the road as you pulled out from your spot. Thereby, you effectively trapped me between your car and the cars parked on the side to my right. Not wanting to take off anyone's mirrors or quarter panels, I slowed down to make sure my Land Yacht (aka "The minivan") could pass safely, so that we both might be on our merry ways.

Instead, you proceeded to yell and carry on until I rolled my window down and said, "I'm sorry, but I had the right of way." I was told, "Well, if the sun wasn't out and you would fucking learn to drive...."

#1. It was a beautiful morning, not a cloud in the sky and it was 8am. That's what the sun does. It shines. I'm sorry it was shining in your delicate wittle eyes, but that's why God made those flaps on the top of your car over the steering wheel. You move that flap down and it will reduce the glare. I promise!

#2. I do know how to drive. I know I had the right of way and you were clearly in the wrong to pull out when I know you saw me coming and realized I had no open space to pull over to my right.

#3. You pulled out from directly in front of your house, so I have your address and now, I even have your license plate number - since you tend to park out in front of said house every day and I drive by it every day. I'm a good person, but I wouldn't get too lippy with someone who knew where I lived.... Just sayin'.

#4. I prayed for you as I drove off. I understood you must be a troubled young man to act so belligerently and to cuss at a lady (with her 6 yr old child in the car, no less). I hope you were not such an asshole to the next person you encountered that morning.

God bless,
ETW

Dear 2nd Bad Driver (same morning, different moron),
People use the church parking lot across from the elementary school to quickly park and get their children to the cross walk, so they may safely enter their school. I'm assuming you were there dropping of your offspring. Your child/children must have been safely inside the school as you tore through the church parking lot like a bat out of hell...I had to grab my child by the straps of her backpack and pull her back, lest she get run over by someone in such a hurry, the safety of small children is of no consequence to that person.

I hope you caught the stink eye I threw your way, but I also added your dumb self to my growing prayer list.

Watch the lead foot, pal,
ETW

A general PSA:
If you read this blog, you will hear me bring up my involvement with AA from time to time. I promise it will not be often, because I am not one of those zealots who feels a need to constantly discuss my life choices as if they need to be your life choices as well.

I would like to say just this, though: AA is a fellowship made up of many different people and personalities. On occasion, a fellow AAer will slip. It happens. None of us are immune. However, a slip does not mean the program doesn't work. It just means one person did not do the next right thing (the next right thing is staying sober). As we grow along spiritual lines, we strive for progress. We may never achieve perfection, but our goal is progress towards that end.

I'm tired of walking on eggshells. The program works if you work it. In fact, the Big Book states, "Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves." (Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 58).

The key word here, for me, is HONEST. You all know that here on this blog, I am honest to a fault. You all are some of my favorite turds, I'd never shit you. (Thanks, S, for that wonderful phrase). It's time to count myself among my favorite turds and quit shitting myself.

Now you know... AA is the sum of all its' parts, not just one person who may backslide at some point.

I feel much better now. :-)

Happy Monday, hooligans/turds. Stay warm!

Love,

Hogging My Time

I've never been big on watching TV. Sure, I'm addicted to Survivor, but I think I missed an entire season here recently. I don't even turn the thing on during the day.

I have watched daytime TV in the past and let me tell you, it is BAD. Really bad. Even the content on the cable channels stinks.

So much for me being a soap opera watching housewife, huh?

Until I discovered all the shows I could choose to watch on my Kindle, using Amazon Prime (prime members can stream many shows and movies to the Kindle for free).

I got tired of playing my word search game one day and decided to check out the offerings. I've watched a few movies and most of the television shows (the free ones, anyway) aren't really things that might interest me.

However, I did decide to check out "Parks and Recreation" which was on a few years back. It's a sitcom starring Amy Pohler of SNL fame. I had seen some of the previews years ago and thought it looked kind of amusing, but didn't really have the time or inclination to get into it.

But on my Kindle, I could watch the shows, for free, anytime I felt like it. With no commercials... I'm pretty much a sucker for free and convenient. I ended up watching all 5 seasons.

Then, I decided to watch the pilot episode of "Friday Night Lights". I wondered what all the hype about this show was back when it aired on broadcast TV. The pilot really didn't reel me in much, but then I had to see what happened in the next episode. And we all know where that can lead - like a gateway drug, I was sucked in and currently watching the 2nd season.

I'll watch it 'til the end, because I'm a little OCD like that. These free shows are eating up all my free time - as if I had so much free time to spare anyway, right?

I need to start pacing myself if I ever hope to get anything accomplished around here. The insidious boob tube via Kindle is taking over here and I'm getting a bit worried. I don't have much time to read or blog or fold laundry or even have a quick nap, you know, all the important things in life.

Sooo, if you wonder where I am, just know I am wasting my life on watching whatever I can get my hands on from Amazon Prime. If this keeps up, I'll have to join AAA too (that's Amazon Addicts Anonymous, not the car thingy).

I really need a life. Until then, have a happy Tuesday my hooligans. I'll check in again when I pry my eyeballs off the portable time waster.

Love,

Picture Day

Tuesday was picture day at Sissy's school. I knew it was coming up, but I didn't really give it much thought. I just woke up, found a cute enough outfit for her, brushed her hair and made sure her face was clean.

I started to wonder if I was just a bad mother. I mean, shouldn't I be all concerned about going out to purchase a NEW outfit, get her hair cut, etc. etc.?

Then, I got over myself. I only buy the smallest package of the school pictures. They're usually not that great. I think I take better pictures of the kids at home, anyways. (and it's cheaper!).

Upon reflecting on school pictures, I don't think Buddy had one taken the entire time he was in middle school.

Unlike my mother, I don't wait around with baited breath to get that envelope of school pictures as a memento of that school year, so that I can say I have every year of school pictures and then throw them in the picture pile in the end table.

In fact, I think many of us would like to pretend those pictures didn't exist. I was a child of the 70s and 80s. Not exactly the 2 most wonderful decades for clothing and hair styles.

One year, I just about fell off my chair - Buddy brought home the "pre-order" envelope from school for the pictures. There are always a few options, but the one I found the most interesting was an extra charge if you wanted your child's photo AIRBRUSHED (photoshopped) to remove "flaws", like acne, or glare off eyeglasses.

I mean, sure he's a teenaged zitster. I was too at his age - and I have the pictures to PROVE it. Also, the kid has been wearing glasses since he was 18 months old. We're used to seeing him with glasses. There's gonna be a glare, we've already established that years ago.

After a healthy dose of photoshopping, who would know if it was their child or not? Let's brush out the glasses, acne and braces...oh, and don't forget that unsightly group of freckles! I wonder how a child with a port wine stain/birthmark on their face would feel if their parents paid extra to have that birthmark removed from their school photos?

It's a sad state of affairs when children will grow up without embarrassing school photos to reminisce over in the years to come. If you don't have at least one (or more) shitty school pictures, you really haven't lived. Besides, we need that comedy gold for our own children someday, so they can say, "Mom, you were a total dork!"

Take it easy on this beautiful Friday, my hooligans!

Love,

My Man Boy

Buddy is growing up. He'll be 15 in January and I'm still not sure where the time has gone.

He is taller than me and wears the same size shoe as The Evil Twin.

He has facial hair and I caught a glimpse of his underarms over the summer when he had on a loose fitting t-shirt. He had a full-on afro going on in his right pit and judging from my excellent sense of smell, both pits are full of the man-boy hairs because dude rocks the BO to knock me out! Pew!

And yes, he has deodorant. No, he doesn't use it on a regular basis unless I hound him. I say things like "The ladies don't like a dude with BO." and hoping that will help, but I think his man-boy mind is more full of video game action and not much of the lady action (which, I guess, is kind of a good thing.).

I was at the Mart yesterday (my usual Monday haunt) and I bought him a pack of GOOD disposable razors. I figure I'll let him try a few out and see what he likes best before investing in the crazy expensive razors. Like the one the Evil Twin and I use.

Instead of the usual stink-eye, I actually got a heartfelt "Thank you" from him and I noticed the package was opened and one razor was out on the sink last night. He showers and does most of his stuff at night, but he uses the deodorant, toothbrush, mouthwash, Proactiv and hairbrush in the morning before school.

I bought the Gillette Sensor when it first came out. I was in college and I had heard great things about this thing. It was marketed at men, but I didn't care - it was still cheaper than any of the "bimbo" version of razors. I loved it so much, I still use it today and I even gave the Evil Twin one when we first met. The replacement cartridges are so out of this world over-priced and I am one cheap mofo, so I tell ET to put his used cartridges in a ziploc bag and I use those.

We all know facial hair can only take about 3 - 4 shaves before the blade is too dull for sensitive skin. However, leg hairs (and other spots I won't mention) can take a blade into the next century practically!

Anypoodle, my boy is growing up and I must say he is a fine man-boy. He gets on my nerves, but then again, he's 14. That's, like, his job. And the less I know about his job, the better.

Ahhh, teens. I hope I make it a few more years because it won't be long before Sissy is pushing all my buttons and we all know girls can be 10 times worse than boys.

With boys, you only have to be worried about one penis. With a girl, you have to worry about every penis on the planet.

I'll be surprised if Sissy isn't in therapy by her early 20s. ;-)

Have a great Tuesday, my hooligans.

Love,

Family Fun

One of the greatest joys of having children is getting to razz them for whatever reason. I like to use my concerned and/or serious voice when approaching some bizarre topic.

For example, Buddy and I were in the car and I looked at him and said, "Buddy, I happen to think I'm the best thing since sliced bread and if everyone around me would just feel the same way, things would be SO MUCH better."

His response, complete with eye roll: "Here we go again."

We went o Chick-Fil-A for dinner the other night. I said to Buddy, "I'm going to get the spicy chicken sandwich this time. Because I am spicy, ya know? Rawr!" No response on this one, other than the look that says, "Kill me, now, because my mom is clearly insane."

I redid my hair back to the bright purple. But, I did it after the kids left for school, so they saw me looking "regular" (as regular as it gets with me, anyway). Then I showed up at Buddy's school to sign him out for an orthodontist appointment. He came down the hall and I said, loudly, "How do you like my hair?"

Buddy: "grumble, unh, mermermer." Which is his teenage way of saying, "I have to go to my locker and get my backpack before we leave." Nice, he has learned the deflect and change the subject style of answering awkward questions. I'm proud of him.

He learned from the best, ya know?

And then we have Sissy. I'll let you all in on a secret, I was born with a congenital defect, very rare...I was born without a Shame Gene. On top of that, my gatekeeper is in the Bahamas sipping on Mai Tai's, so I'm just on my own here. The Evil Twin and I like to sing the "I like big butts" song by Sir Mix-a-lot. We also sing "Big Bottoms" by Spinal Tap.

It's just a treasure trove of songs about butts around here.

Over the weekend, Sissy was feeling creative. She drew an alien looking creature and it has a word bubble beside the mouth area. It says (and I quote) "The only way to get to this party is you have to like big butts and do not lie." There were two little misspellings: buts and liy, but I thought it was an excellent effort along with the fancy alien-ish artwork. Perhaps aliens are still working on their English language skillz, but obviously, they are much closer to perfection than most of the posts I see on Facebook and around the innerwebs.

It's my first day of not having to leave the house at all, except to pick up Sissy. It's an early dismissal day, though, and that means I pick up at 1 pm instead of 3pm. Still, it gives me a good amount of free time to catch up on housework. And with that said, I'm going to get back to it. Lots to do, little time to do it.

Have a great hump day, my hooligans! I will see you soon, same bat time, same bat channel!

Love,

The Graduate

I graduated from my therapy class yesterday! I kinda miss seeing everyone already, but we exchanged numbers/ facebook info, so we can keep in touch.

I dropped Sissy off at school this morning and came back home. Generally, I would drop her off and go to my class. That felt a bit strange, but I've managed to jump back into my old routine and am keeping myself busy...Well, not just busy, but BUSY! I still need to make 2 beds, vacuum, tidy up a bit, work on some laundry (already have one load in washer and one in dryer, get the bill paying up to date, go to the bank, make a few phone calls and go by Sissy's school to purchase her Book Fair selections. Plus, I need to swing by the grocery and pick up a few items.

I'll be even more exhausted than usual, but at least I can get more done since I'll have the extra 3 hours at home in the mornings now. :-)

I felt sad leaving my friends, but I also know that there is a waiting list for that program and someone who is in need right now can take my spot.

After I got home yesterday, the door bell rang and it was a delivery of flowers - for ME! It was from the Evil Twin (and the kids, although they didn't know of it until I told them). It said that my family was proud of me and that they loved me. Awwwww.

Now, if I can keep Bella from eating them, I can enjoy them for a while.

I have laundry to grab and fold now, so I will end this here. I will be back in action tomorrow - around the same bat time, on the same bat channel. I have so much to say!

All my hooligans have a great Thursday! I've missed you!

Love,

It's All Good

However, I'm still trying to find a "good" time for me to re-establish my bloggy habits.

I used to always write in the mornings, after the house was quiet (everyone at school/work). It was an easy way to ease into the day. Now, I hit the ground running Monday thru Friday mornings.

I have to get Sissy to school a bit after 8 am and I need to be at my therapy class by 9 am. My class usually is out just before noon, but I have to drive home, get lunch, do whatever housework I can squeeze in there before picking up Sissy at 3 pm.

It makes for kinda hectic days. Then, I volunteer at Sissy's class on Thursdays, from noonish to 3....just making copies and whatever else the 1st grade classes need.

Yesterday was day 30 for me (no hootch!), so the Evil Twin took me and the kids to the Hibachi Japanese House. We ate like pigs. I'm lining up other "rewards" for the future: new tattoo, day at the spa, dinners at some of my other favorite restaurants, etc. There's just no telling what I'll come up with!

How would you treat yourself? I need some suggestions here.... And, don't say "loads of wine" either. Because that's just not happening.

I'm going to try to cross a few things of my to-do list, so I'll check back in when I can!

Have a lovely Wednesday, hooligans.

Love,

Breaking All Da Rulez

Here I am, posting on a Saturday! What is my scoop?

I don't know. My delicate pea-size brain is overloaded with ideas, topics and stories to tell, however, my schedule Monday through Friday doesn't afford me many opportunities to really take the time to concentrate on putting words on the screen in any sort of meaningful fashion...then again, when has that ever stopped me??

Let's face it - my random blathering has always kept ME riveted, at least - but when my morning classes are over, I'll definitely have more time to lull you all into a warm and cozy stupor. You can thank me later! :-)

Anyhoot, many of you know I have a summer "uniform" (cotton top, not of the t-shirt variety, shorty shorts and sandals) and my winter "uniform" (some sort of lounge pants/pj pants, cotton top, not of the t-shirt variety, and shoes appropriate for cooler weather. I change into jeans before I head out of the house).

Soooo, I'm wearing my summer uniform and Buddy says, "Mom, those shorts you have on wouldn't pass the dress code at my school. Think about it." (Shorts must be long enough to reach the end of your fingertips while your arms are at your side).

I happen to have very long arms, so I'd be stuck wearing bermuda shorts or pedal pushers - I refuse to wear capris - and I'm not real keen on the length of shorts that would meet the dress code.

I said, "Well, it's a good thing I'm not a student at your school then."

Again, he said, "Think about it. What are you - 40, not yet 40?"

"It's not polite to ask a lady her age." I shoot back.

"What year were you born then?" he queries.

"I'm not falling for that bullshit, you can just do the math in your head. But, if it's burning a hole in your soul to know, the answer is 44." (secretly, I'm thinking: 'Ha! He thinks I'm not yet 40! Score one for momma!').

Buddy is 14, in High School. He should be a rebel without a cause. How did I raise such a stick in the mud? :::sigh:::

That doesn't mean I can't drive by his school in my wicked mini-van, windows down and stereo cranked to this:



And yes, I bought the CD.

Have an awesome weekend, my hooligans. Do what the ETW would do and never grow up, but at the same time, keep your noses clean. :-)

Love,

Doing It Like Dory

For those of you without small children, Dory is a character in the movie "Finding Nemo". She's a funny blue fish with a case of short term memory loss, so she forgets things almost immediately. She's a hoot.

But, one thing she always says is "Keep swimming, keep swimming, keep swimming."

And that's kind of how I view my life now (without the short term memory thing going on, though I DO get addled easily).

So, I just keep reminding myself to "keep swimming"....Keep going...Keep doing the "next right thing".

It's been 21 days since my last drink. If you're reading this on Tuesday, it'll be day 22!

Things between the Evil Twin and I are better than ever before. I think we both have a new found respect for one another. Almost 20 years of being together, 2 children and the everyday stresses of life in general made us lose sight of that respect.

I'm much happier these days. I indulge in many of the things I once loved with abandon. Reading is my number one activity. I also love green grapes and Southern Red Velvet Cake ice cream.

Of course, the Evil Twin and the kids are top of my priority list and we've been having a great time getting involved in things as a family.

If I'm lucky, I will attend 4 AA meetings this week. I try to squeeze them in according to time and location.

The people at AA are much like Chic-Fil-A employees. They're just so darn nice and happy, welcoming and very interested in offering help of any kind. Whatever planet the CFA employees come from must be the same planet the members of any given AA meeting are also raised on.

Giving up my security blanket has been very difficult, but it's time for ETW to grow up.... That doesn't mean the end of the purple hair, though. A girl has to have some fun in life, huh?

Hope my hooligans are doing great! Slowly, but surely, my regular routine is falling into place and that means I'll be able to spend more time on the ol' blog here and reading all the other blogs I've had to miss out on lately due my life-chaos.

Love,

Not Dead, Just Hanging On

August has not been berry, berry good to me.

Well, I guess it has been in a way, but I'd have to say more bad than good. The Evil Twin became increasingly frustrated and angry about my drinking. He talked me into a stint at rehab at the hospital.

What can I say? The food was good. The other patients were cool and I was happy to make some friends.

I didn't fare too well otherwise. I was discharged and got drunk that evening. Let's just say that went over as well as a turd in a punchbowl. The Evil Twin and I weren't getting along at all.

I ended up having to leave the house. Luckily, a friend from my recent rehab stint took me in and we took care of each other. I won't go into particulars, but after about a week, I was back home with the Evil Twin and the kids. And, now, I'm trying to catch up with all the things I missed in my absence.

The Evil Twin and I have a renewed commitment to one another and it's almost like we're starting over in love and life.

I've been scared straight. It's been 13 days tomorrow since I've had any alcohol whatsoever.

This is my new life. I'm happy here. I attend an outpatient rehab program in the mornings and attend an AA meeting every day (well, I have missed a day here and there due to scheduling conflicts). I enjoy my morning program and the AA meetings, too.

From now on, I'll leave the drinking to the amateurs. I've fought too hard to go back down the pathetic path I was on.

'Til next time,
Love,