Monday, October 29, 2012

To Whom It May Concern

Dear Bad Driver,
Last week, while taking my daughter to school, you pulled out from your parking spot on a 2 way street. However, this 2-way street has cars parked on both sides. Drivers take turns pulling over close to the curb to allow drivers from the opposite direction to pass as space allows.

I had the right of way and was trying to get down the road as you pulled out from your spot. Thereby, you effectively trapped me between your car and the cars parked on the side to my right. Not wanting to take off anyone's mirrors or quarter panels, I slowed down to make sure my Land Yacht (aka "The minivan") could pass safely, so that we both might be on our merry ways.

Instead, you proceeded to yell and carry on until I rolled my window down and said, "I'm sorry, but I had the right of way." I was told, "Well, if the sun wasn't out and you would fucking learn to drive...."

#1. It was a beautiful morning, not a cloud in the sky and it was 8am. That's what the sun does. It shines. I'm sorry it was shining in your delicate wittle eyes, but that's why God made those flaps on the top of your car over the steering wheel. You move that flap down and it will reduce the glare. I promise!

#2. I do know how to drive. I know I had the right of way and you were clearly in the wrong to pull out when I know you saw me coming and realized I had no open space to pull over to my right.

#3. You pulled out from directly in front of your house, so I have your address and now, I even have your license plate number - since you tend to park out in front of said house every day and I drive by it every day. I'm a good person, but I wouldn't get too lippy with someone who knew where I lived.... Just sayin'.

#4. I prayed for you as I drove off. I understood you must be a troubled young man to act so belligerently and to cuss at a lady (with her 6 yr old child in the car, no less). I hope you were not such an asshole to the next person you encountered that morning.

God bless,

Dear 2nd Bad Driver (same morning, different moron),
People use the church parking lot across from the elementary school to quickly park and get their children to the cross walk, so they may safely enter their school. I'm assuming you were there dropping of your offspring. Your child/children must have been safely inside the school as you tore through the church parking lot like a bat out of hell...I had to grab my child by the straps of her backpack and pull her back, lest she get run over by someone in such a hurry, the safety of small children is of no consequence to that person.

I hope you caught the stink eye I threw your way, but I also added your dumb self to my growing prayer list.

Watch the lead foot, pal,

A general PSA:
If you read this blog, you will hear me bring up my involvement with AA from time to time. I promise it will not be often, because I am not one of those zealots who feels a need to constantly discuss my life choices as if they need to be your life choices as well.

I would like to say just this, though: AA is a fellowship made up of many different people and personalities. On occasion, a fellow AAer will slip. It happens. None of us are immune. However, a slip does not mean the program doesn't work. It just means one person did not do the next right thing (the next right thing is staying sober). As we grow along spiritual lines, we strive for progress. We may never achieve perfection, but our goal is progress towards that end.

I'm tired of walking on eggshells. The program works if you work it. In fact, the Big Book states, "Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves." (Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 58).

The key word here, for me, is HONEST. You all know that here on this blog, I am honest to a fault. You all are some of my favorite turds, I'd never shit you. (Thanks, S, for that wonderful phrase). It's time to count myself among my favorite turds and quit shitting myself.

Now you know... AA is the sum of all its' parts, not just one person who may backslide at some point.

I feel much better now. :-)

Happy Monday, hooligans/turds. Stay warm!



  1. Yay... I'm a warm turd!!! I personally try to avoid honesty with myself, but whatever works for you I guess :-)

  2. Nobody's perfect, but bad drivers can improve. :)