Dilemma

The Evil Twin and I parent much like our own parents did and that is to say, give the kids space to be who they want to be. There are guidelines and general expectations, of course.

My parents never censored what I read, watched, whatever. If they knew what I was learning, they might have thought, "Holy shit! She's too young for this." But, I turned out no worse for the wear.

The Evil Twin and his siblings would leave the house in the mornings and not return until dusk. They got into lots of things they shouldn't have, but they all grew up to be responsible citizens and very well adjusted.

Several years ago, we upgraded the Evil Twin's desktop computer and gave his old one to Buddy. We set it up for wi-fi and stuck it in his room. I never check the history or even butt in to see what he's doing because when I walk by his room, I could tell he was playing computer games - and not racy ones either. Kind of like they build something, then interact with that environment. Which I would consider a learning type of game. You know, finding out what works and what doesn't work in a design.

A few summers ago, we noticed that he would sleep very late, but then again, we let him stay up later in the summer AND we're both night owls/not morning people, so I chalked it up to that. Then, we discovered he was getting up at night and playing on the computer. So, we started by taking the mouse and power cord every evening. That seemed to have broken him of that habit.

But I can remember when I was a kid - about his age - I would put a flashlight under the covers and read until the wee hours.

Thing is, I would still be ready to get up for school or whatever. I might have been tired, but I took care of my responsibilities of getting ready in the morning with little prompting.

Fast forward to the past couple of weeks. Buddy now has a laptop (the desktop was on its' last legs) and I started to notice that he was very difficult to wake in the mornings. He gets in bed by 9:30 on school nights and never had any problems getting up at 6:45 the next morning. Suddenly....Hmmmmmm.

Last night, just after 10pm, I just walked to his room and opened the door without knocking. There he was, glued to his computer. All I said was, "Hand it over." I put it in our room and there it still sits.

The Evil Twin thinks we should take it away for a week for this infraction. If he does the same thing again, then it'll be taken away for 2 weeks. I'm really at my wits end here. He's a good kid, smart and he's not doing anything sketchy online (just playing the games), but... I don't know. Like I said, I did the same thing with books and a flashlight under my covers at his age. But, he needs his sleep to do well in school.

Sometimes, this momming stuff is really, really hard.

Happy Tuesday, hooligans, while I contemplate my dilemma here.

Love,

*Blink* *Blink*

Another weekend gone in a blink! I've said it before and will say it again: I am not a fan of DST. It doesn't really seem so much like an extra hour as it feels like just some kind of hell to throw my schedule off for a few weeks. I don't care about the damn hour. I care about my regular routine!

You know who doesn't care about an hour, a week or a month? The mom of a preemie. My Buddy spent 6 and a half weeks in the NICU and I quit caring about time. I haven't been in a hurry in almost 13 years. It's very liberating.

The other drivers on the road don't think my method is very good, though. I tend to have people riding my back end all the time. In my passive aggressive way, I just slow it down a few more MPH.

I DO wish I could slow down the weekends, though. It probably doesn't help that I tend to nap a lot on Saturdays and Sundays.

What? You thought I actually got a break on sleeping any other time? Sissy is a very early bird, while Buddy would sleep all day if we let him. Even if I let her stay up later, she's still up before the sun. Clearly, God has a sense of humor and wants me to bend to be a morning person. Not gonna happen. I may wake up very early, but I make sure to squeeze in a nap at some point.

I did get the most excellent #Follow Friday recommendation from ...A Sour Apple Tree :

How cool is that? More people should discuss my boobs. Feel free to share your comments below. LOL.

Alrighty, hooligans, try to embrace the Monday. It is not very awesome, but it happens. :-(

Love,

No Secrets, But A Surprise

It's a dreary day here in our little burg. Sissy caught the creeping crud that's been going around and let me tell you, whatever it is, it really puts one down for the count.

She laid around all afternoon yesterday after preschool and got in bed early. She was burning up, so I gave her some medicine to bring her fever down. The Evil Twin and I kept checking on her through the night. Once, she woke up and had peed on her bed (she was most likely so out of it from the cold med). So, I got her up, changed her undies and since she was still hot, let her get in bed with us with no other clothing on. She clung to me like a squirrel monkey all night.

It's so pathetic to see them feeling so puny. I think she might have the same one-two punch that I had - both the cold and the stomach virus. She hasn't thrown up (yet), but I dealt with puke yesterday and I'm prepared to deal with it today as well.

Luckily, I have no plans. There is no preschool on Fridays and Buddy has decided he'd like to walk home from school. So, unless I get a call from him that he wants a ride, I don't even have to leave the house today!

Me and Miss Sissy can snuggle in and watch cartoons all day. I like that schedule. :-)

Also, there haven't been any Friday Secrets for a while, so I thought I'd throw in a little treat to keep y'all occupied.

Happy Friday, hooligans!

Love,

Weekend? Please Hurry KTHXBAI

This week has seemed impossibly long already. Maybe it's because we were gone all last weekend, then had a few days off that threw my schedule off. Who knows?

I have the lovely pleasure of cleaning up cat puke off our light colored carpet downstairs. And, she didn't just stand in one spot to do it. No, she was apparently (judging by the vomit splatters) jumping down the hall for every upchuck. Thank goodness for Oxyclean! I love that stuff.

Our main floor is mostly hardwood floors and porcelain tile. Why couldn't she chose one of those surfaces for her vomitorium? Whatevs, I still love her. She couldn't help it if her stomach was upset.

Let's face it, if you have kids or pets, you'll be faced with vomit, poop and other bodily waste activities for a long, long time. I can forgive Bella for the vomit episode because I'm just so darn glad we don't have a litter box in the house! (Bella uses the people potty for her business - I just sashay by every now and again and flush for her).

It's funny - for as much as the Evil Twin and I have in common, we're opposites on what we can and cannot deal with. For example, puke and poop are not a problem for me to clean. Bleeding and tooth pulling is absolutely something I can't be rational about. If Buddy has a loose tooth and the Evil Twin is trying to pull it, I'm cowering in our bedroom with my hands over my ears. It's all about the teamwork around casa Evil Twin! :-)

Keeping with Gratitude November: I am grateful for a warm house and a loving spouse. After years of kissing toads, I finally found my prince.

I'm off to continue my cat puke clean up detail, but I hope you hooligans have a happy Thursday!

Love,

A Kink in my Routine

I didn't post anything yesterday - I know there are about 5 of you who are seriously disappointed - but it's just been a weird week.

After our trip to Cass, the Evil Twin took Monday off as a vacation day because he had Tuesday off as a holiday (Election Day) and decided to make it a long weekend. Trust me, he has a blue million days of leave time, so one day off doesn't really cut into his vacation time.

Also, the kids didn't have school yesterday. The polling places are in our public schools.

The Evil Twin, Sissy and I went to the polls, Buddy stayed home. Those of us who are old enough voted, but I did lift Sissy up to see my ballot and tried to explain the voting process to her.

Once again, I did not get an "I voted" sticker. I don't know...I don't think our precinct has them or something because I never get one and - come on! - Sissy is an adorable 4.5 year old. You'd think she'd be plastered in stickers. The Mart of Wal always gives her several!

Speaking of the Mart, after the voting stuff, we trekked on to the store to load up on the week's supply of food and etc. I always enjoy help from the Evil Twin for lifting heavy items and also I shop for us and Mr. D at the same time - I do 2 separate transactions and it's easier if the Evil Twin is there to help me sort the 2 purchases.

November is supposedly the "Month of Gratitude", listing one thing every day for which I am grateful. Today's gratitude is: I'm grateful for a calico kitten who makes me smile all the time, even when her one mean Tabby leg is getting her into trouble! You can't argue with furry cuteness. :-)

It's "Housework Wednesday" for me, so I am off to start work. I hope you all have a rockin' Hump Day, hooligans!

Love,

Choo Chooo!

Saturday, the Evil Twin and I celebrated 17 years of marriage! We have been together for over 18 years, which I find amazing.

We're used to not being able to celebrate on our own since Buddy was born, simply because there are typically Halloween activities going on either on or around our anniversary - something we hadn't thought of when we chose the date back in 1993!

I heard about the Halloween Train ride at Cass Scenic Railroad and thought that would be a blast. Then, the Evil Twin reminded me that Sissy freaks out just seeing people in monster masks. I had already made reservations to ride the train and stay in one of the company houses in Cass. I called back to see if we could go up on the 16th of October and ride the 2:30 train, but all the houses were booked, so I stuck with the 30th and changed to the 2:30 train - which was just the regular ride up to Whitaker Station and back (about a 2 hour trip).

We've done this twice with Buddy, but Sissy had never been and we had never stayed in the company houses before either.

The houses have been refurbished with modern kitchens and bathrooms, spruced up, but still retain their quaintness and charm. Our house was so cute. We had 3 bedrooms - 2 with full sized beds and 1 with 2 single beds. The rooms all have closets, dressers and nightstands. The beds were comfy and clean.

As far as I know, all the houses are 2 story. Ours had the bedrooms and bathrooms upstairs and the TV room, dining room and kitchen on the first floor. We had a wooden swing on the front porch, which was a nice touch. It was a beautiful, sunny day, but a little nippy.

A view of the river:

We had a good time, even though the route to get there is nothing but "kiss your butt" curves and Sissy threw up twice on the way up. I wised up and gave her Dramamine early the next morning before we left and she did fine on the trip home.

I'll have to sort through my pictures later and maybe I can find one or two more decent shots. It's hard to get a clear shot on the bumpy train ride!

Happy Monday, hooligans!

Love,

Stranded and a Halloween Recap

Today is the first day in a very long time where I have nothing going on and no way to do it even if I did.

My van is in the shop getting new rear brakes. We had the front brakes replaced a few months ago and of course, a few weeks later, the back ones started squealing.

It's sort of like my theory on light bulbs. Once one bulb on a fixture goes out, I already know the rest of them will go out, one by one, in the coming days. Good thing we stock up on light bulbs - we go through them around here!

Anyhoodle, having no vehicle means I can just kinda piddle around today. I do have a few things I need to do around the house, but I can squeeze in some much needed rest in there somewhere today! Yay!

Last night was Trick or Treat here. Buddy decided he is too old for the T or T routine and Sissy is terrified of anyone in a mask, so I just bought a couple of big bags of candy for us. This is our first year actually just staying home and I really didn't expect any kids (there's that long, steep driveway thing, ya know). Lo and behold, we did have a handful (one group) of about 6 kids. That was it. I waited for more, but hey, I wouldn't walk up this driveway for a couple of o' pieces of candy, either.

You're probably wondering why Trick or Treat was last night. Well, here in the bible belt West Virginia, lots of people think Halloween is a satanic type holiday or something like that. Also, many people attend church on Wednesday evenings and twice on Sundays (AM and PM). Then, there are the powers that be who believe having trick or treat on a weekend night leads to more mayhem (kids staying out later, getting into trouble, etc.). That leaves us with Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. Whichever of those days falls closest to the 31st (but isn't the 31st) is VOILA! Halloween night here. From 6 to 8 pm.

When I was younger and we lived in Georgia, we'd be schlepping our pumpkin buckets around for *hours*. Sometimes, even making a pit stop back home to empty it and go back out on a different street.

I don't think every county in WV has this same set up, but it seems like most do. Because of the limited time frame, you better believe your doorbell will be going "bing bong" at the stroke of 6pm. Like I said, I didn't expect any kids at all, so I was resting on the couch, when shortly after 6pm, *Bing Bong*! I didn't even have the candy open or in the fancy $1 Halloween bucket I bought years ago for one of Buddy's class parties.

I had to hustle to get it together. The kids were real sweet. I let them choose what they liked. I don't know about you, but I always hated getting candy I didn't like at Halloween (things like - GAG - Necco Wafers or Candy Corn). We still have a huge bowl of candy left. But, you know what? I enjoyed not having to wrestle the kids into itchy polyester costumes and try to not forget anything while racing out the door to go to our friends' house. They live in a neighborhood with more children, thus, more houses participating.

I'm sure in a few years, when Sissy gets over her fear of masks, we'll be schlepping her around the neighborhood here - or we can have Buddy be her chaperone while the Evil Twin and I do the hibbity dibbity hand out candy!

This is getting verbose, I know, but before I end it, I would like to thank the throngs of spiders who live around our house for doing the cobweb decorations. I wouldn't have even put that much effort into it, even though it's one of my favorite holidays. So, Thanks, spiders! I've always loved you, but this year, I owe you a solid.

Happy Halloween, hooligans. Remember to check your candy for pins, razors and/or poisons. Be safe and have a spooktacular time!

Love,

Times

Do you look at the clock and think things about the time? I do.

For example, when I see it is 4:22, I automatically smile. April (4) 22nd is my birthday.

I'm Catholic, although I haven't attended Mass much since Sissy was born, but every time I see 3:16 on the clock, in my head I say, "For God so loved the world, he gave his only begotten son...."

At 4:20, I think "Smoke 'em if ya got 'em." Apparently, 420 is some sort of code for smoking weed. I don't smoke cigs or anything else, but it has stuck with me for years.

I have a friend who loves 12:34 because all the numbers are in order. Any time I happen to catch the clock at this time (sometimes twice a day, even!), I think about my friend immediately.

There are others, like birthdays of my family members I'll take note of if I see the clock at those times. I miss a bunch, but when I DO look and it's a "good" time, I get a little charge from it.

I'm terrible at math, but I have a weird relationship with numbers. Phone numbers, social security numbers, birth dates...you name it, if I commit it to my memory, it will hang out there forevah!

When the Evil Twin bought our first house, it only had 2 numbers. I feel a proper house has 4 numbers (I don't know why). But, I always wanted a house with 4 numbers. I think that's one reason I'm so happy to live in our house now (2nd house, sold the first one) and it has 4 numbers. I think it's because every house I lived in growing up had 4 numbers before the street name, so it seems familiar to me.

Does anyone else have weird number issues or is it just me?

I'm probably just a lunatic LOL!

Have a great Wednesday!

Love,

No Candle Left

I've been burning it at both ends for so long, I think what I have now is a teeny piece of wick and some hard wax drippings.

I'm sitting here goofing off trying to think of meal ideas for the week, since I will be visiting my Mart soon. I don't know if I'm in a rut, foodwise, or if it's just this cold dragging me down, but nothing seems appealing.

And sometimes, it's hard to get the family on the same page about what they might like or want. Everyone loves spaghetti, but I can't fix that every.single.day.

I am beyond grateful that we can buy food, but I'm still in a funk about what to prepare. And y'all know I'm cheap too.

What I feel like doing is getting in bed and sleeping and sleeping and sleeping. But, life has different plans for me. Plans that involve a trip to the grocery, a visit to Mr. D's house, a few other errands and chores, then picking up the kids at different intervals, serving dinner...This is why I call my life "glamorous". It's a great gig if you can manage it, but there are lots of hoops to jump through, as well. I always have about 50 things on my mind in any given moment.

Life is good as long as we're on the topside of the grass, right? :-)

Love,

It's Time for the Yearly Creeping Crud

It never fails. And, it usually pops up at some point in October, sometimes as late as November and on some years, it can rear its' ugly head again in the Spring.

That's right - the head cold/upper respiratory infection. I can't remember one year in the past, oh, at least 15, that I haven't picked this up.

I am a chronic hand washer. I avoid touching public restroom doors, floors, basically touching anything after I've washed my hands. The only thing I can think of is dirty shopping cart handles. Perhaps I should start carrying around Clorox wipes...

But, at what point do I become the crazy germ-o-phobe lady? Honestly, I don't even care. If it helps me not get the creeping crud every year, it'd be worth it.

The Evil Twin says that I have been sick for 6 months now. Not true - he likes to embellish things. I had the hysterectomy on Sept. 3 and was told no heavy lifting, etc. for 6 weeks, but I felt fine. I just couldn't do most of my housekeeping chores due to the lifting. I did the best I could and sometimes, even over-did it, making the healing process even longer and more difficult. But, I felt normal overall.

I went to see Dr. Hill last week for my 6 week post hysterectomy check where he proclaimed me all healed up, etc. (but to keep taking it easy on the marital congress bit, because I'd had some "issues" afterwards). Two days after I saw him, the dreaded head cold set in. Ok, now I really don't feel good.

I didn't ask for this cold, but the Evil Twin acts as if I am chronically sick and even asked me "When will you not be sick anymore?" Gee, I wish I knew. I use the Neti Pot (thanks, Blonde Goddess!) and have been drinking the nasty Target brand of EmergenC (actually, I'm sure even the name brand tastes horrible). A friend recommended Zicam, so I'm going to give that a go, too.

At least my weekend did offer one bright spot. Bella is using the people potty with no training devices on it anymore. Anyone in the family can use that toilet now, whether they have 2 legs or 4.

I even caught her in the act one evening:



Her dismount here was a little sloppy. Usually, she does better. And, sorry for the shaky camera work, I had to hold the Flip camera in one hand and give out the treats with the other. You can hear her purring so loud - she loves praise and treats. Especially the treats. :-)

Happy Monday, hooligans!
Love,

Friday Secret - and some other stuff

I received only one secret for this Friday. I hope it touches at least a few hearts out there:

1. I can't believe you're gone.

And I wonder if you knew how much I miss you if it would make any difference.

It's that time of year again. Either Fall or Spring, at least once a year, I get the creeping crud. Namely, sinus problems and my throat hurts at first. Then, it turns into a lovely upper respiratory infection.

I know that all 7 of my faithful readers can't go on another minute without a "Bella Using the People Potty" report. We're down to very little pan and litter (VERY LITTLE). And she pooped right into the water this morning! Yay! She also peed, but she's been doing that for a while.

After she went #2, I immediately gave her treats and praise, then flushed the toilet right away. No smells! No litter! We're about 95% finished with this super easy process. :-)

Sissy doesn't have school today, so the plan is to hit Target to spend all of the Evil Twin's money (us stay at home moms and our greedy selves!!).

Sissy wants hot "coffee" (cocoa) with marshmallows, so I must oblige! Feeding and watering my children is part of my job duties. :-)

Have a great Friday and an even better weekend! See ya on Monday.

Love,

Drama-rama

I spend my days doing roughly the same things around the same times. It's been years since I've been enjoying my little routine. This includes getting in the shower at some point before 10am.

When the kids were smaller, I'd take them into the bathroom with their bouncy seats, so I could see and hear them. When they get a little older, I turn on the kiddie shows and jump in the shower real quick.

This has been the set up for at least a couple of years with Sissy. All without incident. I make sure the doors are locked and she has what she needs for my brief time getting my hair washed (I spend less than 10 minutes doing my shower routine). This point and when drying my hair are the only 2 times she is not directly up my butt - and sometimes even then, she's hanging over my shoulder, chatting non-stop.

Yesterday, I got in the shower and a few moments later Sissy comes in to use the restroom. I can hear her chatting about something, she sounded agitated. I asked her what was wrong.

Sissy: One of the birds got out of the cage.

Me: How did it get out?

Sissy: I don't know.

Me: Did you open that cage? The bird couldn't get out by itself.

Sissy: /crying/ I did, I'm sorry!! /now wailing/

Realizing the cat is also roaming around the den, I have horrid visions of feathers everywhere and I quickly hose off and get out.With only a towel wrapped around me, I see Lovey clinging to the curtains and Bella not far from her. I got the cat and put her in my room while I threw on some clothes.

Lovey is not hand trained (yet!), so I got to chase her around until I could cup her in my hands and return her to the cage, then, I let Bella out.

Sissy didn't have preschool yesterday, so she and I just kinda hung out until it was time to pick up Buddy - he only had a half day at school, so we had time for a bit of lunch, then out the door to get him.

When he got home, he said, "Bella got in my room and broke this." (a tin toy that winds up - it had been knocked off the shelf. I said, "Buddy, your door was shut today, unless Sissy opened it and then Bella got in, I don't think she could have done that."

There were also several other mystery items in his room that weren't there when he left it. I picked up a piece of foam that was on the floor. Immediately, Sissy says, "Throw that in the trash, throw it away!" Hmmmmm. SUSPICIOUS.

I asked her if she had been in Buddy's room and she said, no that Bella had done everything. I told her I could see the "Lie Dot" on her forehead and she finally 'fessed up. She had gone into his room with a ball and while kicking it around, it hit the tin toy which then fell off the shelf. I still don't know how the random piece of foam fits in with any of this, she was crying so hard at being caught up in her dishonesty, we weren't really getting any straight answers.

She apologized to Buddy and me. When the Evil Twin got home, he explained to her that if you blame someone else for your misdeeds, that person (or cat) will be unfairly punished. If you tell the truth right upfront, people tend to be more forgiving.

All I can think is the bird incident took place while I was in the shower and the incident with Buddy's room took place while I was preoccupied drying my hair. She's only 4 and a half! She should not be so shifty. LOL.

I can only remember Buddy lying to us once around that age and it was more of a misunderstanding than an outright lie.

Let's hope today brings less drama for this mama.

No birds, cats or children were harmed during the day. :-)My blood pressure was probably sky high, but I know better than to take it on days like that!

Happy Thursday!
Love,

Getting Closer...

I am now down to about a 1 - 2 inch strip of roasting pan and litter in the toilet for Bella to use. Most of the time, she overshoots the small strip of litter and the pee goes directly into the toilet bowl.

It's funny to hear the tinkle of tinkle in the water and know it's Bella on the toilet. When she does a #2, it usually lands on the edge of the roasting pan, so I just take the pooper scooper and flick it on in the toilet and flush.

As you can see, the set up is much more sparse than previously:

This was just after a pee incident, so you may be able to see a bit o' yellow in the water. I hadn't flushed yet because I wanted to document that she did, indeed, hit the bowl.

Then, we have the important treat set up. I put a variety of treats in the medicine cabinet of that bathroom. She knows when she uses the big potty, she gets 2 treats. So, she'll hop up on the sink to get her reward (and praise) right away, giving her no time to think about covering her eliminations to throw off predators (some things with cats are so ingrained, they're harder to make a change).

This is my nail polish/cat treat medicine cabinet. LOL.

I will slowly continue to shorten that front area of litter until all that remains is the rim of the roasting pan in there. Then, eventually, that rim will be taken out, but saved (in case she needs the crutch scent of a familiar potty area.

Personally, I think Bella is smarter than the average cat, but I may be a little biased. According to the book I have followed, even a maybe not-so-bright cat can be potty trained.

I am the furthest thing from a tree hugging hippie who ever lived, but I do more good for the environment than most people who shout the loudest about taking care of it. No more cat litter/waste in landfills. When I had the female office, I used OB tampons, so no cardboard or plastic applicator in landfills. And those are not conscious decisions to be "green", they're just ideas that make sense to me.

I'll have more on this tomorrow, but it's a more delicate subject and I'm still considering my approach.

Until then, don't forget that tomorrow is Wear Purple Day in solidarity for the young homosexual boys/men who have committed suicide lately, due to public harassment. I will wear my purple in memory of my friend Michael Lloyd Parker, who died in 1997, age 26, from AIDS. He didn't have it easy in high school. He was bullied and picked on, but he kept his chin up. It's tragic that he died so young.

Wear purple on Wednesday, make ETW happy (I LOVE purple!) and have a great Tuesday!

Love,

Already?

I can't believe it's Monday already. Another thing that makes me go "Grrrr" is weekends that go by too fast!

And we really didn't DO anything to eat up all the time, either. It was, however, a relaxing weekend, so I guess it had that going for it.

On Sunday, the Evil Twin made my dad's vegetable soup. It turned out SO good. We suspect it had some sort of sleepy powder in it because after we had all eaten big bowls with some french bread, the Evil Twin and I promptly conked out. We slept for about 3 hours!

The kids entertained themselves while we snoozed, thank goodness.

Sorry about no Friday Secrets. I haven't received any in a couple of weeks, nor have I received a mystery pic! Sad face....

Please, hook me up with something for Friday. Anything! Send me bizarre stories or your most shameful moment. I'll pick my brain and think of something really odd that has happened to me in the past. I know I've got a million stories, but my brain is not functioning 100% right now. It's hard to get going on these chilly mornings, ya know?

Also, my primary care doc upped my high blood pressure medicine, so just when I got used to the lower dose and didn't want to sleep all the time, I'm back to trying to get used to the new dose. Having a 4.5 year old who never stops talking and an 8 month old kitten who won't stay out of trouble or off the birdcage (thereby, causing the birds to carry on loudly), how anyone expects my blood pressure to be any where NEAR the normal range is insane.

Hope y'all have a loverly Monday. I'm off to see the hoo-ha doc after I drop Sissy at preschool. It's my 6 week post hysterectomy appointment! :-) Another busy start to my very full and busy week!

Love,

'Tis Beautiful

By mid October, West, by God, Virginia, is a visual delight. The trees are orange and yellow and red. The mountains are gorgeous. I love this time of year here, but you just never know what the temperature might be. It's generally chilly in the morning, but warmer in the day. Or, it could be very rainy and cold all month long.

It's a crapshoot, really. After a few years, we all just get used to it.

The best thing is when I can look out my picture window and see my mountains across the river. Clouds drifting by or sometimes, a beautiful sunny sky. It really is almost Heaven.

Ask me again in January, when we're ass deep in snow and ice. Then, I don't feel too cozy about the state. LOL.

If ya wanna visit, you should! This is the perfect time! :-)

Love,

Things That Make Me Go GRRRRRR

I gotta wind it down a little bit. Whitewater rafting, kitty shitty toilet training, I have to take care of Mr. D today....I am ready for a break from everything. Hopefully, this weekend will be a quiet and peaceful one.

Sooooo, I don't really have anything today. I thought I'd go over some of the things that make me insane.

1. Whistling Snots. Ok, check it out - your nose is closer to your ear than it is to my ear and if I can hear it, you need to do something about it. Just breathe in and out real quick from your nostrils. That should take care of the situation.

2. People Who Camp Out. And I don't mean tent, woods, that sort of thing. I'm talking about people who camp out in front of one section at the grocery. They will stand there forEVER, reading every mother loving label. Know what you want, grab and go.

3. Unnecessary Punctuation. What's with all the odd and random apostrophes, commas, excessive use of the exclamation mark, etc.? If you're not sure, just leave it be. I don't have a problem if they're missing, only when they show up where they shouldn't be.

4. Taking Up More Than One Parking Space. There are some very privileged individuals who feel their vehicles are so priceless and more worthy than any other, they will park sideways in a spot so their precious "whatever it is that probably cost more than my house" won't get scratched. I'm willing to bet if you can afford a car like that, you can afford adequate insurance to cover it. Quit being a space hog, asshole!

5. Being Rude to Wait Staff. Your waiter does not own the restaurant (probability is slim) and is not in the kitchen fixing your food. These people are on their feet all day schlepping trays of food and drinks to the customers. Now, if your wait staff is rolling their eyes, being all frowny or otherwise unpleasant, feel free to voice your complaint with the tip or lack thereof. Otherwise, if your food isn't right, it takes forever, or something else is going on, that's Chef's problem. Ask to speak to him or her.

6. Being a Douche at Stop Signs. If you have a license, you should already know that the first car at a 4-way stop has the right of way. Don't wave someone through and then mess up the whole traffic pattern. GO when it's YOUR TURN TO GO. No one will be mad at you.

7. The Elevator Game. It is common knowledge that when you are waiting on an elevator, you let the people who need to exit get out first. Then, you may enter. The doors are not going to snap you in half as you wait for others to exit. In fact, it just frees up space, making your entrance much smoother.

8. Telemarketers. I know it's their job, but if I want a product or service, I will find it and attempt to buy it. Cold-calling my house (during dinner, usually) won't get you anywhere. I also have caller ID, so your call will not be answered nor returned.

9. Other Callers. If you ring my house and I DO answer, don't ask, "Who is this?". I don't owe you my name. You're the caller, who were you dialing? You should know this already. Ask, "May I speak to ______?" and I will kindly inform you that you've dialed the wrong number. Don't keep quizzing me on this. This includes: asking if I know where _______ lives now, or try to make me verify that ________ does not live at my house, or, even more insultingly, ask me for _______'s new number. I have no idea who you are talking about.

10. Liars. Like the Post Office lied to me for years. I don't forget that stuff. And I will tell my story again and again, so everyone knows that you're a liar. The St. Albans Post Office should quake in fear of my existence, so if I wind up missing, you know who to blame.

Feel free to add your own insufferable moments in the comments. There is rampant douchery all around, so we all have stories.

Love,

Buh Bye Kitty Litter

Some of you wanted to see Miss Bella on the potty.

Here she is, investigating the set up. Does she have to go? Yes, she does:

Notice that she still has both back feet in the roasting pan inside the toilet bowl. As more and more of the pan is cut away, she'll have no choice but to place all four paws on the seat. Also note that she hops up on the sink to get her treats and praise after a job well done. :-)

I use The World's Best Cat Litter, which is made from whole kernel corn and is biodegradable and flushable, so even if she kicks some down in the little "cut away" parts, it just disintegrates and one flush, it's gone.

The method we are using is The Toilet Trained Cat by Aston Lau. We got the book and DVD set.

He makes it very easy to understand. It's very logical. He provides good tips and tricks along the way to make it a smooth transition.

We're going a little slower - and not because Bella is having trouble, but because I want to be super cautious about letting her become comfortable with each step and make sure it sticks with her. Soon, there will be no pan and no litter in the toilet bowl and I don't want her to find an alternative "potty area" somewhere in the house.

When you think of how many pounds of cat litter and cat waste is in landfills, and when you think of how nasty and germy a cat box can get with all that waste in it and the cat scoops around in there and then transfers those pee-pee and poo-poo paws all over your house: on your couch, your bed, your counters (you know they're up there when you're not looking!), well, I'd rather have a cat with clean paws. I wipe down every toilet in this house (3 of them) almost every day with 409 and clean the bowls, so I know they're all sanitary.

Right now, that bathroom is a mess with litter all over the floor and we have not been using it. I figure the big payoff will be after all this is over, the floor can be cleaned and disinfected, all the mess can be cleared out and we will once again have use of that toilet.

I'm not going as far as teaching her to flush. I figure as a stay at home mom, I can swing by that restroom every so often and check to see if it's in need of a flush. Pressing that flush handle is a lot easier than scooping poop and pee from the litter box every day!

The big thing is going to be training the Evil Twin to lower the seat after he uses that potty himself! Bella can't go if the "girl" seat is up! LOL.

And there you have it! Cats will aim to please for a treat and praise, even though they still know they're the boss of the house.

Rollin' Down The River

There was no post yesterday because I spent the whole day whitewater rafting at the Lower Gauley. I went with a friend who is experienced. She has been on several rafting trips, so she knew the ropes.

Our trip started at 9:15 in the morning. It was pretty chilly that early and the water is cold!

The first time I really got splashed, it all went right in my shoes! Yuck. I had purchased some really groovy synthetic socks and a pair of $12 tennis shoes. <--- read this part sarcastically. I loathe tennis shoes. I don't mind if any one else wears them, it's just that I find them heinous on my own feet. I must say that they were comfy and didn't look too jakey for being only $12.

After I clean them up, I suppose I'll keep them in case I become an extreme adventure junkie (not likely).

Anyhoodle, there were 6 of us in our raft, plus the guide in the back. He was excellent. I think he was the best guide there. We managed to do the entire river with not even a single one of us falling out! Other rafts had a few overboarders, but don't worry - no one got hurt and they were pulled back into their boats.

About mid-day, we stopped for lunch. They did burgers, veggie burgers and chicken on the grill with a good variety of sides. Everything I had was very tasty!

After lunch, we got back on the river. We hit a few fast moving rapids and I began to think having lunch midway through might not have been the best idea, but I didn't lose my lunch! Yay!

(photo taken by my friend, who had an awesome waterproof digital camera. I had a crappy waterproof film camera and who knows when I'll get around to developing that or even find out if I got any decent shots).

Here is me, after a particularly thorough soaking. Did I mention that water was cold?? LOL.

Luckily, the afternoon really warmed up and just when we'd get semi dry from the sun, we'd hit another class 5 rapid and the soaking would start all over again.

It was even more fun and challenging than I had anticipated. I am tired and sore today, but not too bad. I'm sure a nice hot shower will soothe my sore muscles.

If you live in West Virginia or visit WV, I highly recommend checking out one of the whitewater rafting trips.

And, I can't sign off without mentioning that there were far more cars with out of state plates there than WV plates. After listening to our other 4 raft companions (from other states) praise the beauty and peacefulness of our state, those same people proceeded to laugh at the sight of outhouses and trailers on the bus ride back.

One of our raft mates even told me his cousin told him that WV was the only state where it is legal for first cousins to marry. I promptly told him that it was not legal here and he questioned that. I turned to my (lawyer)friend and said, "Let's ask the Lawyer." Whereupon she verified that it is NOT legal here.

I made sure he walked away with some of my hometown knowledge and I'm not even originally from here. Rubes!

Come to WV and have a great time, but leave your stereotypes at home. :-) Besides, we have far more assholes here than rednecks or hillbillies. LOL. And, there are assholes EVERYWHERE.

Smitten with a Kitten

I am so in love with Bella Della Doodle Bug Pie, it's not even funny.

She is the greatest kitty I have ever known and I got her from a shelter in Kentucky. How cool is that?

When I met the Evil Twin, I had a calico cat - a stray who had been roaming around my college town. Her name was Chingate (which means F*** You in Spanish) and she was a completely loving and obedient baby girl. I had her and loved her for 11 years. She was often referred to (and called) "The Peeps". It was one of those nicknames that evolved over time.

We'd say, "Come here, peeps." And, she would be right there. She walked on a lead and heeled when I stopped.

Bella is a lot like her. A beautiful calico with a Spanish name, but Bella is quite possibly even smarter than my Chingate.

Chingate:

Calicos are very smart and love to be the center of just one person's world. Both Chingate and Bella were/are MY babies. They're also cats who enjoy being the only kitty in the household.

Sissy wants more cats, but I know Bella has to be our only girl for right now! :-) And forever.

She likes to lounge:

This picture was taken a few months ago when she was tinier. But, she still sleeps on the back of the couch just like that. All sprawled out with one leg hanging down. I don't know how she stays balanced. :-)

I guess that awesome balance will come in handy soon. I'm training her to use the human potty! So far, it's been going great. This weekend, we'll make advances to phase 5 and see how that goes. I'll definitely take pictures later!

Again, I'm so thrilled the Evil Twin agreed we could get another kitty, after our Wednesday passed away about 5 years ago.

Really, Bella doesn't shed much, she will walk on a harness and should be using the regular toilet soon, so she won't be high maintenance.

She is the best baby, ever!

Why I Carry a Camera

I keep my little Canon point & shoot in my purse for the all too many photo ops I see on a daily basis.

You just never know when you might see something so outrageous, so unbelievable, so crazy - that you must document it so people will believe you.

I have to be lightening fast and discreet to capture the gems I see.

Like this one:

I was behind this gentleman at the Mart yesterday. His pants were all wet on both sides around the groin area. Did he pee his britches? Sit in something? How could he not tell his pants were all wet? Buddy and I contemplated the possibility that he sharted, but it was clearly wet like water, not brownish.

And furthermore, if a person did indeed shart in their sweatpants, wouldn't they have some sense of feeling on their legs like "Ooops, I just pooped down my leg!".

Hell, it's the Mart of Wal. Go buy yourself a new pair of sweats and change in the restroom. I'm sure it wouldn't be the first time for something of that nature.

I mean, any time I have had the misfortune to enter a restroom at the Mart, it's like they're running "The Brown Light Special" in there. PEW!

I hope this brightens your Thursday, hooligans. Don't forget about Friday Secrets. If you have anything to submit, send it to eviltwinswife@gmail.com before 9-ish or so tomorrow morning!