Thursday, October 7, 2010

Why I Carry a Camera

I keep my little Canon point & shoot in my purse for the all too many photo ops I see on a daily basis.

You just never know when you might see something so outrageous, so unbelievable, so crazy - that you must document it so people will believe you.

I have to be lightening fast and discreet to capture the gems I see.

Like this one:

I was behind this gentleman at the Mart yesterday. His pants were all wet on both sides around the groin area. Did he pee his britches? Sit in something? How could he not tell his pants were all wet? Buddy and I contemplated the possibility that he sharted, but it was clearly wet like water, not brownish.

And furthermore, if a person did indeed shart in their sweatpants, wouldn't they have some sense of feeling on their legs like "Ooops, I just pooped down my leg!".

Hell, it's the Mart of Wal. Go buy yourself a new pair of sweats and change in the restroom. I'm sure it wouldn't be the first time for something of that nature.

I mean, any time I have had the misfortune to enter a restroom at the Mart, it's like they're running "The Brown Light Special" in there. PEW!

I hope this brightens your Thursday, hooligans. Don't forget about Friday Secrets. If you have anything to submit, send it to before 9-ish or so tomorrow morning!


  1. I think he came in his pants when he saw the super low prices!! Cheers ETW!!

  2. Maybe it was an excess of ass sweat???

  3. Yikes. The Mart of Wal is a goldmine, isn't it?

  4. maybe he just didn't care? i mean... sweatpants in public is sort of one step above totally giving up isn't it?

    the next step is having a slop bucket in your living room and eating funyons while watching maury all day.

  5. The result of an unfortunate Slurpee accident perhaps?

  6. And someone is going to sit in his seat at the WM-Subway without ever even knowing...

  7. I bet you were a mean girl in high school.

  8. I'm so glad we don't shop at WallMart. We shop at Waitrose. Any little mishap they wipe your ass for you.

  9. I should carry a camera at WallieWorld too....remember, I live in Ideeho.

  10. I just threw up in my mouth a little...

    Oh that is all kinds of wrong!

  11. maybe the poor man had an abcess on his scrotum and it popped!!!

  12. Doc - I couldn't believe my eyes!

    Matt-Man - I like those low prices too!

    Ron - That's a good theory...

    K - It really is!

    fattie20xl - ROFL!!

    Tiff - Do they have Slurpees there? LOL.

    Warren - :::Full body shiver:::

    Anonymous - Quite the opposite. I was teased mercilessly.

    Barry - I go for the entertainment and low, low prices. :-)

    Rosemary - Definitely get one for your purse. Weird things are everywhere!

    Chandra - LOL!!

    Ron - Then, he should have been wearing sturdier pants, hmmm?

  13. Someone was making an emergency trip to the Depends department. Clearly.