The Evil Twin and I parent much like our own parents did and that is to say, give the kids space to be who they want to be. There are guidelines and general expectations, of course.
My parents never censored what I read, watched, whatever. If they knew what I was learning, they might have thought, "Holy shit! She's too young for this." But, I turned out no worse for the wear.
The Evil Twin and his siblings would leave the house in the mornings and not return until dusk. They got into lots of things they shouldn't have, but they all grew up to be responsible citizens and very well adjusted.
Several years ago, we upgraded the Evil Twin's desktop computer and gave his old one to Buddy. We set it up for wi-fi and stuck it in his room. I never check the history or even butt in to see what he's doing because when I walk by his room, I could tell he was playing computer games - and not racy ones either. Kind of like they build something, then interact with that environment. Which I would consider a learning type of game. You know, finding out what works and what doesn't work in a design.
A few summers ago, we noticed that he would sleep very late, but then again, we let him stay up later in the summer AND we're both night owls/not morning people, so I chalked it up to that. Then, we discovered he was getting up at night and playing on the computer. So, we started by taking the mouse and power cord every evening. That seemed to have broken him of that habit.
But I can remember when I was a kid - about his age - I would put a flashlight under the covers and read until the wee hours.
Thing is, I would still be ready to get up for school or whatever. I might have been tired, but I took care of my responsibilities of getting ready in the morning with little prompting.
Fast forward to the past couple of weeks. Buddy now has a laptop (the desktop was on its' last legs) and I started to notice that he was very difficult to wake in the mornings. He gets in bed by 9:30 on school nights and never had any problems getting up at 6:45 the next morning. Suddenly....Hmmmmmm.
Last night, just after 10pm, I just walked to his room and opened the door without knocking. There he was, glued to his computer. All I said was, "Hand it over." I put it in our room and there it still sits.
The Evil Twin thinks we should take it away for a week for this infraction. If he does the same thing again, then it'll be taken away for 2 weeks. I'm really at my wits end here. He's a good kid, smart and he's not doing anything sketchy online (just playing the games), but... I don't know. Like I said, I did the same thing with books and a flashlight under my covers at his age. But, he needs his sleep to do well in school.
Sometimes, this momming stuff is really, really hard.
Happy Tuesday, hooligans, while I contemplate my dilemma here.