Monday, April 20, 2009

The Littlest Dumpster Crab

On Saturday, we usually have "Saturday Night Special" which means either the Evil Twin or myself will run out and grab fast food for lunch/dinner. However, we had gone out to eat on Friday evening and I just had to have a McMuffin on Saturday morning, as I hadn't had one since Ash Wednesday (gave up the bread and baked goods for Lent).

I had some cube steaks I had to prep or throw out. So, about mid-day, I made country fried (or chicken fried) steaks, scalloped potatoes, cornbread stuffing and rolls. That was to be our big lunch/dinner thing. Of course, Sissy sat and picked at her plate and ate next to nothing.

Later on, she said she was hungry (go figure) so I got her some pepperonis - she likes the cold pepperoni slices right out of the bag. Then, she was thirsty, so I gave her a box of 100% apple juice.

When she finished her juice box, she asked if she could throw it in the trash, and I said, "Yes."

She went into the kitchen and returned holding a roll. A roll she had already taken a bite out of. Buddy noticed it first and asked, "Where did she get that roll?"

Then, I turned to see her taking the bite out of her mouth to hand it to me. She had retrieved the roll from the TRASH CAN! Yes, my darling daughter is a Dumpster Crab.

She was so hungry, she scavenged a filthy dinner roll from the garbage!

The Evil Twin threatened to call CPS on me! LOL.

We all laughed SO hard about this situation that we embarrassed her and she cried.

Go, Family! We're awesome!

Later on, Buddy mentioned that he thought he saw a piece of scalloped potato stuck on the end of the roll. GROSS!

Honestly, I was feeding her. I had no clue she would reach in and pluck something from the trash!

It was HER roll that she had not eaten at dinner, so I suppose that makes it just an inkling better.

Still. Can I get my "Mom of the Year" award yet?


  1. But it was her roll. And how long had it been in the trash. There is the 5 second rule. And if she kissed it up to God than it's ok. Poor starving Sissy

  2. She's got a great start on her Dumpster Diving career. She might get on Oprah as The Frugal Toddler.

  3. at least it wasn't an eclaire in somone else's garbage...

    once... when i was drunk... and 15 or 16 i ate some kung pow chicken that i had thrown out earlier that night...

    also... i've accidentally eaten a cheese danish my brother stepped on. while we were high.

    i'm gross...

  4. Don't you worry your pretty lil head's a right of passage to eat out of the trash bins. All four of ours did it and we laughed at them too. It's our job to embarrass the's THEIR job to embarrass us. Thank goodness my kiddos got that part right......they did it on a regular basis. Of course, we kindly returned the favor by going up to their schools in house slippers.......
    Wonderful rite of passage story. YAY for Sissy and her first trash food experience!!

    Steady On
    Reggie Girl

  5. Wait?!? Are you saying it's wrong to ear from the trash of others??? I thought it was a frugle way to get by during the rought times.

  6. My 2yr old's obsession with the trash can, lid, and throwing random shit away has *still* not ended. Argh!

  7. kids gag every time they get near the trashcan or the dishwasher. The wife and I laugh out loud every time. Is it wrong to laugh when you kids gag? Anyhow, we are lucky I guess in that they won't eat from the trash...if only they wouldn't puke on the kitchen floor every time!

  8. You must be so proud. Ha.

    At least it was YOUR garbage, if that's any consolation.

  9. Ha! Next she'll be picking up food off other people's plates at restaurants.

  10. That is hilarious!! CPS would just be happy you were feeding your child lol lol

    Gotta love the laughs you get from family!

  11. The same food that offspring #4 turned her nose up while on her plate she would happily scarf up out of the trash can. Go figure. Maybe it tastes better once it's "aged" :)

  12. That is so funny! Nina has done that too. The potato... ewww.... OMG I needed to laugh today.

  13. I thought we put these things in the 'La, la, la, I can't hear you' category of things mama doesn't want to know about!

  14. I'd fuss at you if if hadn't happened to us when the kids were small.

  15. The Girl - LOL.

    A.- The Frugal Toddler - ROFL!

    fattie20xl - I give you a pass if you were drunk and/or high on those occasions. :-)

    Reggie - Whew! She's normal. Buddy never did any trash excavation, though. :-)

    Ron - I'll feel better if we can blame the economy. Thanks! ;-)

    Gigi - At least I'm not alone! :-)

    Warren - That is too funny!

    3C - And it was HER roll, too....LOL.

    Jay - At least that would be fresh food (unless they'd bitten off it already!) Gag!

    Lisha - It's almost always a party around here. :-)

    MEL - I think you're onto something there....

    Alex - Glad to know my kid isn't the only one! It's gross and funny at the same time. :-)

    SH - This was something that couldn't be "la la la'd" away. LOL.

    kenju - LOL! I guess it just happens, huh?

  16. "Dumpster crab" - how cute. I'm sure this won't be the last of her many exploits. I'm sure my kids have already consumed their "peck o' dirt before they die" already!!!

  17. that's a great story to tell her future boyfriends!

  18. Didn't yu know that food tastes better to toddlers once it's been dropped to the floor, thrown in the trash, or licked by a pet? Didn't you get The Manual? I thought they were standard.

  19. That it too funny! I can see it in my head with the roll in her hand. I needed a laugh today!

  20. Hahaha! Oh, yes... kids do that. Jonathan finds so many wonderful things in trash cans and just can NOT stay away! *sigh*

  21. Is it bad that I find this more amusing than disturbing? As long as your fam isn't making a habit of scrounging community trash cans for a midnight snack, I think this can fall under the 'use at a later time to embarrass Sissy on first date' category!

    It took me forever to train my Autistic son to NOT try to eat off other people's trays at fast food restaurants. He would get impatient waiting for our food, and reach out and grab a fry from someone else! Mortifying to the tenth degree, that is ;0)

  22. I think the "Frugal Toddler" title could be the name of her first Blog :)

    Sorry ETW, you are going to have to make up for this incident to regain the "Mom Of the Year" title!!


  23. At least it was something decent like food - I mean, it could have been a cigarette butt, or a dirty paper towel! I've heard of kids eating almost anything out of trash cans. Toots once ate one of those Cascade dishwasher block thingys....

  24. Just start calling her "George Costanza" -

    Jerry Seinfeld: So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen. You see an ├ęclair in the receptacle... and you think to yourself: "What the hell, I'll just eat some trash."
    George Louis Costanza: No, no, no. It was not trash.
    Jerry Seinfeld: Was it in the trash?
    George Louis Costanza: Yes.
    Jerry Seinfeld: Then it was trash.
    George Louis Costanza: It wasn't down in. It was sort of on top.
    Jerry Seinfeld: But it was in the cylinder.
    George Louis Costanza: Above the rim.
    Jerry Seinfeld: Adjacent to refuse is refuse.
    George Louis Costanza: It was on a magazine, and it still had the doily on.
    Jerry Seinfeld: Was it eaten?
    George Louis Costanza: One little bite.
    Jerry Seinfeld: Well, that's garbage.
    George Louis Costanza: But I know who took the bite. It was her aunt.
    Jerry Seinfeld: You, my friend, have crossed the line that divides man and bum. You are now a bum.

    Your daughter is now offically a bum...she can join my kids. They've all done it as well. We're great moms! ;)

  25. Aw poor Sissy. She got laughed at (and I was part of it!) Sorry Sissy!

    But dinner sounds fantastic. Can I come over next time? I'll bring dessert.

  26. My kids are notorious for not eating at supper, then an hour later "they're starving". I conveniently 'save' their dinner plates for just such an occasion! Nothing like eating cold spaghetti or cold taco salad...blech! I wouldn't put it past my youngest to dig through the trash though!

  27. She's creative! Industrious! Resourceful!


  28. My daughter once licked the trash can lid in front of company.

    She told them it was because 'she was hungry and momma wouldn't feed her'.

    [She refused to eat her dinner, then wanted candy or cake instead. I told her "NO"]

    Thankfully, the 'company' was my family...

  29. now thats a funny post, you deplorable mother you !!!

  30. themom - yeah, that's it. Peck o' dirt... Thanks!

    Jess - I think we got enough mileage out of it, but it's one to keep in mind! ;-)

    Mary - I'm surprised my son has made it to 11. I never got a manual for either of them!

    Bitchy - It was really funny!

    rebecca - we might have to child proof our trash cans! :-)

    Leighmo - I'm sure you were embarrassed, but if it's a kid doing it, most people think it's cute.

    Jan - What would her first Frugal Toddler tip be? "As long as the food is not wet or hasn't been in the trash long, it's okay to retrieve it and enjoy it as a snack." ? Ewwww. LOL.

    Momma - Did she eat the whole thing or just take a bite? Seems those would be bitter... :-(

    Sujomi - I love that episode. We did call her a common hobo after the incident. :-)

    Cute Ella - dinner isn't always so decent, but I've heard about your famous cookies, so come on down!

    Chandra - I should put her plate aside too. Great idea!

    Tiff - ROFL.

    Renn - I almost fell over when I read she LICKED the lid!

    Lisa - My kids deserve better!

  31. LMAO
    I caught my little brother doing that one time.
    This little SOB was such a picky eater, then I catch him digging food out of the trash can in the kitchen? Ok? You wont eat your burger cuz I put ketchup on it but you will eat a pickle from the trash with GOD KNOWS WHAT on it?

    Poor sissy :) hey at least she grabbed hers haha

  32. You have an evil twin? Like on "Heroes"? That is so cool.

    Wasnt' there some rule established on Seinfeld about when it's OK to eat something out of the trash? Hey, if it was on Seinfeld then it's official and no one can argue with it.