Tuesday, April 7, 2009

#600 - Bittersweet

Our son, Buddy, is in fifth grade and as such, is set to "graduate" from elementary school to Middle School.

He told me today that he needed a baby picture for the yearbook. This picture would be not identified as the person, it was a guessing game.

Because of his perilous prematurity and his 6.5 weeks in the NICU, I asked him what age range he wanted his picture to be.

He said, "None of the pictures where I'm in the hospital. None where I have tubes and wires coming out of my nose."

These pictures were our first views of him, though. When he was born.

He doesn't want this. He was four days old in this picture. He weighed about 2lbs, 5oz.

I think it's kind of sad that he doesn't want any of his "baby" baby pictures. I found two - in a quick run through of old photos we have filed away - he chose one where he is about a year old.

I wonder how much of his prematurity he actually understands. He still doesn't seem to grasp the concept that I was adopted and that his Nana M is the mom who gave birth to me, but his grandma (who passed away in 2005) was the parent who raised me.

I guess those are tough concepts for a young someone who has never lived them.

This is post #600 for me and it is late - since I normally set my things to post at 6 am, but I had trouble with the scanner! So, it's an hour later than normal, but I'm sure you'll live. I know I will.


  1. He just wants to fit in, I think.

    Well, you can tell Buddy, that he was a MOST handsome baby, and has a gorgeous smile.

    Happy 600th post! quite an achievement.xx♥

  2. yeah... he probably dosn't want the other goony 10 year olds making fun of him. that's normal. most 10 year olds are basterts (yes. basterts).

    600 posts is worthy of .... drinking! i'll be drinking at 6:00 to your hobnor! watch for it on twitter.

    hey... why not organize a 6;00 crosscountry drinkup through twitter?!!!!

  3. That's such a cute pic of him - he TOTALLY looks like you!
    600 posts - good lord! That's a lot of work! LOL

  4. happy 600 to the Queen of Cleavage !!
    how premmy was he ? my neice was 10 weeks and also hates photos of herself at that time..........
    blessed Be xx

  5. I think I completely see why he doesn't want the hoses. He doesn't want that "equipment" to define his personality, or make him feel like a freak. He wants the one where he looks like all the other kids. Maybe right now, he just needs to know that he's normal, and not the "bionic kid"

  6. Well he certainly looks a lot happier in the second photo :) But you couldn't find any photos where he was butt nekid to embarrass him? LOL

  7. He was so handsome! I suspect he still is, if he looks anything like his mom!

    My daughter's twin boy spent time in the hospital after birth, with tubes running out of several places. I don't know what he thinks of all that, or if he looks at the photos, but I'll ask him (he's 13 now).

  8. I agree with the othere posts, Momma, he wants to see him at a happier time. He sure was a handsome baby boy!

  9. I think I told you in a former post that my mom is a NICU nurse. Before she moved to Kansas four years ago, she worked at Women and Children's NICU for well over 25 years. Has Buddy ever gone to the Premie Picnic in the summer?

    With time he will have a better grasp on those complex ideas. Right now, he has to make decisions based on emotion. It will all work out.

  10. Happy post 600!

    I'm sure he just wants a baby picture that makes him look like the "regular" guy he is today. :)

  11. Natalie - I know you're right.

    fattie20xl - You're right - they are basterts! And that's a great idea about 6:00!

    Gigi - I sure think so. :-)

    MsPulp - That's over a bit more than 2 years, so it's not that much work.

    Lisa - he was 12 weeks early (28 weeks gestation).

    JA - You're totally right.

    Ron - I think the only nekkid photos we have of him, he was in the bath and you can't see anything anyway! LOL.

    kenju - I think he favors me. :-)

    powerrail - Yes, that's true - it was a happier time!

    Chez - We went to a preemie Halloween party a few times - it was in the Fall.

    BG - He sure had put on weight in that one year! I love the pudgy babies.

    3C - Yep. I was hoping he'd pick one in his glasses (started wearing them at 18 mos). :-)

  12. Yeah, he probably doesn't want the first one because "none of the other kids will bring one like that!" - but I'm sure it is very precious to you!

    He looks so cubby and happy in the second picture! You would never know he was a preemie. I love a cubby baby myself. Those little fat folds just beg to be kissed!

  13. "cubby"? I meant "chubby"...I need some diet Coke before I post comments in the am!

  14. What a cute little boy! Happy 600th post, I'll forward to reading the next 600 : )

  15. 600...there should be a prize for that, good Lord! Here's to the next 600!(I looks forward to them everyday!)

    Buddy is absolutely beautiful in both pictures but I'm sure it is hard for him to see that...he just wants to be normal.

  16. I definitely think the others are correct. He doesn't want his peers to see him that way. My twin nephews spent over a month in the NICU. They weighed 2 and 4 lbs. I have no much respect for anyone who can do that for a living. How heartbreaking and rewarding!

    I am down for a 6:00 Twitter drink to celebrate the 600th post! I would be at about 100 if I hadn't switched sites. Oh well.

    Have a great day, ETW!

  17. Oh my gosh! He was just adorable! I want one!!!

  18. It's a great picture of the tot!

    I don't get the need for 5th grade "graduation," tho. And I'm about to do yet another.

    Well, maybe a helping of ben & jerry's will help me understand.

  19. It is funny to see the looks on my grandchildren's faces when i try to explain the family relationships to them. The questions that might arise from classmates could be the issue with the tubes and wires.

  20. When my niece and nephew were little they used to correct me all the time. "That's not your Mom and Dad that's Grandma and Grampa." The couldn't understand that they were my parents and we were their kids.
    Those are both beautiful pictures and it's hard to believe that such a fragile baby can look so chubby and healthy in a year. Miraculous.

  21. I think it is only natural that your son wants the sterotypical cute baby picture. Heck, I would too. There is something funamentally uncomfortable with the NICU and those pictures for most people. Of course it represents such an achievement of where he has comes from, but that is probably not something he wants to share with his peers at such a young age.

    He really must be blessing! And he is REALLY cute. In both pictures.

  22. Sujomi - It is precious to me, but I do understand his choice of a "regular" picture. He was chubby! :-)

    powdergirl - it took every ounce of restraint for me to not bite his fat little legs! LOL.

    Chandra - I know. And this is such a hard age.

    Bitchy - I might have to move my drink to 7pm, but I'm all about it! I hope you have a great day too.

    Lisa - They are adorable at that age.

    sauerkraut (love the name). I haven't figured out all the random "graduations" either. Oh well...

    rosemary - I know. I doubt if any of his classmates even know how early he was.

    Ms.Barbara Jane - He is the same way about the parent/grandparent thing and add into that I was adopted and I think it just blows his mind!

    Karen - You're right. As the parent, though, I was totally seeing it through the "achievement" angle and not his angle. Thanks for pointing that out. :-)

  23. That is one adorable baby. So daggone CUTE!!!

    Now, would you please use your powers over the internet to get people to vote for me at Tammie's? I'm really pulling out the big guns with this request, ain't I? ;)

  24. I think he picked a perfect pic (with no disrespect for the wonder of the NICU. Kids always want to be considered the cutest little baby. Despite mom's wishes, he thought the tubes may have taken away from his cuteness). My husband was adopted too. I find it fascinating - other 'adoption stories'...

    Congrats on the #600. Gosh, if I get out another 20 this year, I'll be happy.

  25. My son is ok with his pictures, similar to your pics, but I guess he'd rather not have his friends see them either. Like you though, I think he doesn't really get how scary it all was and how special the love is that we have for him. Maybe in time...

  26. I can relate, sort of. My twins were born at 33 weeks and 5 days. One was 3.6 lbs. and the other was 4.1 lbs. They were in the NICU for 21 days before we were finally allowed to take them home. They had the wonderful tubes in their noses to help them eat, too. Very sad, but they're healthy and thriving now.

    Lynnette Labelle

  27. Oh man... I just wanted to hug you and buddy after I read this! I think one day he will want and desire those tubes and wire pictures. When he understands how much God loves him to make him so big and strong to get through that... he will know he is special. Looking at that picture of him in the hospital and the one year old one... God's power is amazing!

  28. Awwww, he is so sweet. I love his 1 year old picture. Some day when he has his own child - he'll realize the importance of him being in this world and the fight he put up to live as a 2lb baby - I think then he'll understand.

  29. Happy #600 - and you selected a beautiful picture. In time he will come to understand the family "tree" as it were. I hope he has fun with the picture.

  30. Happy 600! I will have a drink (of water!) at 6 in your honor. That first picture just touched my heart. It kinda scares me, too. 28 weeks is so scary. How scared you and the ET were...I can't not even imagine. The second picture I could just sop him up with a biscuit and gravy. How adorable.

  31. I don't think I've ever seen that 2nd photo of Buddy, how adorable!!!

    Congrats on your 600th post!!! No one can call you a blog slacker :)

  32. He has come such a long way! He is too precious!! Happy 600th!! (that sounds weird....)

  33. what a lovely little boy. a little miracle in fact. and congrats on post 600! wow. :-))

  34. What a big healthy baby after only a year later - you and Buddy are so lucky!

    Him wanting a slightly older picture of himself is perfectly understandable. Kids that age just want to fit in.

    Congrats on 600 - I'll cheers to that!

  35. wow.. 600 and you look so young!

    I love the picture he picked..cute as could be..

    We also have an unusual family.. the grand kids are scratching there heads.. how come we have so many grand parents on Mom's side of the family?? We all have the holidays together. ".what do you mean gramma and grampa used to be married, she is married to papa????" They are good and confused!

  36. Awww, what a little sweetie! I was so scared of holding my baby when she was really little and she was born at 6 lbs, 7 oz. I was WAY too scared to hold my sister's preemies. Until they got a little sturdier of course! I know that is silly. Even after having my own baby I am still nervous of holding other people's newborns. I thought I would get over that, but I guess not.

  37. I have pictures like that of Baylee and Blair. It's sad that I've had 2 children that BOTH needed NICU care when born. Baylee weighed 3 lbs 12 oz and Blair 4 lbs 11 oz. Baylee required 3 weeks in the NICU and Blair almost 8 weeks!

    Hugs - Tiff

  38. Is it wrong that I just want to smooch his little cheeks?

  39. What a cute litte guy.

    He will understand one day, i think he just doesnt know it isnt a bad thing. Probably concerned about the comments from the other kids.