Friday, August 22, 2008

The Revenge of the Baconator

Yesterday, I had a strong, strong craving for Wendy's - specifically for the Baconator sammich.

I'm not big on the "two patties on a bun" type of sammich, unless it's a Big Mac, but what can I do about cravings?

Plus, anyone who truly knows me knows that me and Wendy's fries have a long history and love affair.

In fact, when I was pregnant with Sissy, the joke was that no one would be surprised if she were born clutching a Wendy's fry in her chubby baby fist. I drove thru there nearly daily for fries.

I especially love their fries dipped in bleu cheese dressing. Several years ago, they used to carry bleu cheese dressing for their salads. They would sell me a packet of it for 25 cents.

They stopped serving bleu cheese dressing, so I have to stock my own bottle in my fridge (but I had to throw the bottle out when I got pregnant with Sissy because we all know pregnant women should not eat soft cheeses, such as bleu or brie nor should they eat cold deli meats - the risk of the listeria bacteria is too great and listeria can kill the elderly and the unborn - stay away from these things if you are pregnant - it's not worth it! There. That's my PSA for the day).

Anyway, I wanted a damn Baconator like a hobo wants Mad Dog. So, I called the Evil Twin at work and asked him to stop by on his way home.

He had eaten a Baconator MONTHS ago that he swears made him sick. He cautioned me, "You're playing with fire - getting that Baconator."

I said, "Well, we're not 100% sure that Baconator was the direct cause of the diarrhea you had."

He answered, "I was sick within minutes of eating it. I think it was the Baconater."

Now, when I think of Wendy's and Diarrhea (which I DO think of), I think: Chicken Sandwich. I swear their chicken isn't handled properly. I ate a chicken sandwich from one store about 12 years ago, back when I had a paying job.

I had to LEAVE my job and drive home later because my stomach was so upset. When I arrived home, I started stripping clothes off immediately upon entering the house... I was sweating and praying to make it to the toilet in time.

I haven't eaten another chicken sandwich there in TWELVE YEARS. The chicken sandwich from Wendy's is DEAD TO ME.

The Baconator is a huge sandwich, so I did my best with it. It was delicious, so I only left a bite or two before I could do no more damage.

The Evil Twin changed out of his work clothes and took the kids out in the back yard to play.

I didn't feel so well.

After a few minutes, I was able to join them in the back for play time, but I lounged on the hammock and still wasn't feeling all that great.

I looked over at the Evil Twin and said, "That Baconator had it's way with me."

I didn't have to say anything else.

He glanced at me, sagely, and replied, "I told you so."


  1. I have never had a Baconator.

    However, let me issue a similar warning about BK's Steakhouse burger.

    On the upside, I lost about 4 lbs. [I'm pretty sure that weight loss shouldn't happen all at once, though.]

    How are you feeling today?

  2. I think we've all been there. I think some of these sammich's should come with a warning label. White Castle should have a warning label for the entire building :)

  3. M. tried it because the guys in his class were crazy about it, but he didn't care for it much. And that's sayin' somethin'! lol The boy would eat nothing but cheese, hamburger, and bacon if I'd let him!

  4. Renn - that was only the 3rd (and probably last) one I've had. And the weight loss is just a bonus when you consider how many calories those things must have! LOL. I'm fine today, thanks for asking.

    Ron - What would the label say? "Warning: Ingest only when near a restroom facility." ?

    honeywine - I think it's a tasty sandwich. It's just too much for me (and my intestines, apparently).

  5. All that fat is prolly what's doing you in. We're simply not programmed to eat that much all at once, don't you think?

    Still, cravings. Can't be helped.

  6. Wow...sorry for your experience. But I don't know about you, but I hate when slammed with an "I TOLD YOU SO!" Thank heavens he loves you....enough said.

  7. ETW: I USED to eat at Wendy's on the rare occasion, but no more. Reason? I was standing in line and was watching this guy make my 'double'. Apparently he put too much ketchup on it, so his solution?.....use his index finger to slide along the meat to remove the excess......then stick his finger in his mouth to lick it off.
    I didn't say a word until they called my number, then;

    Me: You think I'm I'm gonna eat that thing after Emeril there wiped off the ketchup with his f'n finger....and then put his finger in his f'n mouth?

    Store Boob: What...he didn't do that?

    Me: Ask him

    Store Boob: Hey, Jamal...this guy said etc etc etc

    Jamal: No way, man.

    Me: All of you make me f'n sick...'specially you, Jamal....cuz you're a f'n liar as well.

    Never been back since.

  8. Tiff - I'm sure it's the fat content. Luckily, I don't eat things like that very often.

    themom - he said it in a loving way.

    Efen - Yuck! I know all fast food joints are probably nasty in some regard. I try not to think about it. I do love their fries.

  9. The Baconator is my friend. We are pals.

  10. I feel your pain. Went to Buffalo Wild Wings yesterday with co-workers. I had boneless wings with the Wild sauce (one down from their top "Blazin").

    It was sooooo good, but I was soooo burnt that afternoon.

    I had leftovers for lunch today.


  11. Ugh, I cannot do Wendy's either. Blue cheese on french fries sounds yummy though!

  12. Nate eats the Baconator on occasion... I steer clear. I'm more of a Big Mac girl myself.

  13. Brad - that's just's so dang tasty, but will I pay the price again? Probably.

    Janis - some things are so good they just get a pass. :-)

    Gigi - I love Wendy's... a single with cheese only and fries is my favorite lunch. But the Baconator is a killa.

    Inanna - I agree. The Big Mac is awesome (when it's not swimming in special sauce, that is... sometimes they super sloppy).

  14. Eeek. I'm a little nauseous just thinking about'd think the fries would soak up some of the e coli.

  15. I knew I linked you for a good reason.

    Back in the day, Wendy's was my favorite place. Their single is the BEST fast food hamburger around.

    I had this ritual back in the day, after my girlfriend and I spend the day together, we'd go to Wendy's. I'd CRAVE it -- those burgers.

    Aw, man. Memories.

  16. Laura - you'll feel better once the Goose gets in your system.

    LBB - I have effectively burned my entire family out on Wendy's. I could eat there every day, but they're not so hot on that idea.

  17. You must not talk bad about bacon.

    Bacon is your friend.

    Bacon gives life to us all.

    Bacon is the Lord's food.

    Besides Hallie had a picture of a bacon bra.

    You must not talk bad about bacon.

  18. Earl loves baconaters, I've never had the guts to try one...especially after Jeff's write-up.

  19. Baconators are a heart attack waiting to happen; about 1600 calories, if I remember correctly.

    That situation you found yourself in is called (appropriately) "dumping" and it is usually from all the fat contained in the food.

    You might be able to have their grilled chicken and not have a problem, but I know what you mean about their fried chicken. Good, but deadly!!

  20. Bacon on anything makes anything taste just a little better.
    Glad you had the hammock and feel better today!

  21. I felt that way last night after having eaten two measly chicken fingers from a GAS station food mart. I have NO idea what I was thinking.

    I also had a mad, passionate love affair with Wendy's when I was pregnant with both of the boys. Most especially Dub. Big Bacon Classic(s) with a large fry and large Dr. Pepper. Yummy. I heart Wendy's.