Yesterday, I had a strong, strong craving for Wendy's - specifically for the Baconator sammich.
I'm not big on the "two patties on a bun" type of sammich, unless it's a Big Mac, but what can I do about cravings?
Plus, anyone who truly knows me knows that me and Wendy's fries have a long history and love affair.
In fact, when I was pregnant with Sissy, the joke was that no one would be surprised if she were born clutching a Wendy's fry in her chubby baby fist. I drove thru there nearly daily for fries.
I especially love their fries dipped in bleu cheese dressing. Several years ago, they used to carry bleu cheese dressing for their salads. They would sell me a packet of it for 25 cents.
They stopped serving bleu cheese dressing, so I have to stock my own bottle in my fridge (but I had to throw the bottle out when I got pregnant with Sissy because we all know pregnant women should not eat soft cheeses, such as bleu or brie nor should they eat cold deli meats - the risk of the listeria bacteria is too great and listeria can kill the elderly and the unborn - stay away from these things if you are pregnant - it's not worth it! There. That's my PSA for the day).
Anyway, I wanted a damn Baconator like a hobo wants Mad Dog. So, I called the Evil Twin at work and asked him to stop by on his way home.
He had eaten a Baconator MONTHS ago that he swears made him sick. He cautioned me, "You're playing with fire - getting that Baconator."
I said, "Well, we're not 100% sure that Baconator was the direct cause of the diarrhea you had."
He answered, "I was sick within minutes of eating it. I think it was the Baconater."
Now, when I think of Wendy's and Diarrhea (which I DO think of), I think: Chicken Sandwich. I swear their chicken isn't handled properly. I ate a chicken sandwich from one store about 12 years ago, back when I had a paying job.
I had to LEAVE my job and drive home later because my stomach was so upset. When I arrived home, I started stripping clothes off immediately upon entering the house... I was sweating and praying to make it to the toilet in time.
I haven't eaten another chicken sandwich there in TWELVE YEARS. The chicken sandwich from Wendy's is DEAD TO ME.
The Baconator is a huge sandwich, so I did my best with it. It was delicious, so I only left a bite or two before I could do no more damage.
The Evil Twin changed out of his work clothes and took the kids out in the back yard to play.
I didn't feel so well.
After a few minutes, I was able to join them in the back for play time, but I lounged on the hammock and still wasn't feeling all that great.
I looked over at the Evil Twin and said, "That Baconator had it's way with me."
I didn't have to say anything else.
He glanced at me, sagely, and replied, "I told you so."