Thursday, April 24, 2008

My Super Scientific Findings

Also Known As: My Probe Into The Probe

My OB/GYN had an emergency ectopic (tubal) pregnancy crop up, so by the time he finally made it around to see me, I was almost half asleep. It's hard to get comfortable only wearing those funky hospital gowns, though.

But, things were fine and dandy - as usual. We discussed random business and then I said, "Sissy is two years old now, is it too late to give her back?" He thought it was hilarious. He doesn't live with Sissy.

When he asked me if I did my monthly breast exam, I told him the Evil Twin did. He said that didn't count, 'cause the Evil Twin wasn't looking for signs of problems at that point in time. Rats. I thought I had it figured out.

When the nurse left, I asked about the rectal exam. He said that technically, it is supposed to be part of the pelvic exam - at least once a year for most people. However, he also said that about 15 years ago, he had stopped doing it because his patients complained about it. (remember, I've been seeing him for 13 years, so I missed out). He said that by the time his patients are 45, he incorporates that back into the program or if he has a patient with a family history of colon cancer or problems, he does it then no matter what their age.

So, that is the story on the rectal exam along with the pelvic. For everyone out there who might read this: if you have a family history of this stuff or really would like to know more about your female health, ask your OB to do the rectal exam at your yearly appointment.

I mean, I don't plan on changing my mind about my preferences. Plus, I'll be 45 in only 5 short years from now, so I can expect to know more then.


  1. Sounds like fun. I'm approaching 40 now myself and I'm pretty sure around that point the doctors want to pull out those little rubber gloves and search for the lost burrito, but I plan on avoiding that for as long as possible.

  2. So your saying you will know more about your butt in five years, or you'll know more about female stuff in general.

  3. It's amazing. The older you get, the more indignities the medical community wants to heap upon you.

    Then they wonder why everyone waits until it's an emergency to go to the dr!!

    It's not because people can't afford health care, it's because we don't want strangers sticking things in our butts!

    Hmm, let me rephrase that... I don't want anyone sticking things in my butt.