Thursday, April 24, 2008

It's My Lucky Day! (Edit)

Along with a million other soul destroying activities in life, a females' ob/gyn always makes your yearly check up around your birthday ("So you don't forget!").

Just call me Lady Luck, cause I have a date to see the "meow, meow, meow" doc today.

The good news is that I've been seeing him for 13 years, he's a really great doctor, he's funny and all his office staff is super nice, too. So, it's really not as bad as it could be.

You men out there may find the next statement disturbing or even confusing: Some of these OBs find it amusing to stick their finger up their patients' butt during the pelvic exam. MY doctor does no such thing and for that, I am eternally grateful.

I never really "got" why that was a part of the procedure anyway. I mean, I'm there for the doctor to check out my hoo-ha, nothing else. Ok, maybe the cursory breasts exam as well, but that's part of their job, too. He's the one who will tell me to get a mammogram this year at some point.

I went a few years back for a baseline. Then, I was pregnant with Sissy and they don't torture pregnant women, but my excuses have run out.

Honestly, I didn't find it particularly painful or even embarrassing. I have plenty to work with and besides, everyone at the hospital has already seen my boobs. I didn't put them away once after Sissy was born. We called her "the Boobie Bandit" - she liked her num-nums - A LOT.

The whole mammogram thing is, for me, more of a PITA simply because I must get there to have the procedure done and I think we all know how well I like being on a schedule (what's that???).

The Evil Twin will be coming home early to hang out with our baby girl, then he'll go get Buddy and our neighbor kid from school if I'm not home in time. It means I'll have to take his car downtown and he'll have the van (which has the car seat in it - all that LATCH stuff is complicated).

I don't like driving cars I'm not used to, but I'll be okay. As long as I remember where I park it.....

NOTE: I swear I am not making up that anal probe part, nor do I think I've been "had" by pervert doctors. I've had other friends ask for a recommendation and have often had them ask, "Does he stick his finger in your butt?" when it comes to OBs. I think it might be an "old school" type of procedure because when it happened to me, it was a notably older doctor. Hey! I'll ask my doctor about it today and report back with my findings! Yes, I seriously do ask him anything! LOL.


  1. Enjoy your probing... hmmm do you thing other OBGYN's are aliens?? I mean they do have a reputation for the anal probing and all that stuff. Just something to think about.

  2. They do WHAT?!

    I have NEVER heard of any kind of Dr. thinking an anal probe is part of the pelvic exam.

    Clearly, I have only had good Drs

  3. Wow, I learn something new everyday! I sure hope that I don't experience all the things you have around your birthday when mine rolls around! lol

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    I'm not sure what's more disturbing--that I googled "pelvic exam anal probe", or that this video actually exists.

    My curiosity gets the best of me sometimes...

  6. My GYN surgeon never once did that while he examined me; however, my regular doc usually gave me my paps, did. And she's a woman. Maybe I'll ask next time what the deal is ;)

  7. My doctor does the anal exam. It's very important for them to check for tumors or abnormalities. You're missing a very important part of the exam. As a patient I would insist on it, it's your right to be thoroughly examed.

  8. Mom took me for my first OB/GYN when I was 14 years old because I always had very painful cycles and my cousin (my age) had just had a partial hysterectomy because she had a cyst the size of a grapefruit. Because of my cousin's history, Old Bananahands did a rectal exam on me as well. Mom could hear me screaming from the lobby. She never made me go to see him again.

    Here's to hoping yours was tons better than that (and stink-finger-free).

  9. But the finger in the butt is my favorite part of the exam!


  10. It's great when ya have an awesome doctor that isn't old as the hills and you feel comfortable around.

    I still loathe it, but makes it easier to deal with.

  11. Wow!! Did you notice that when you do a post about private parts and probing that the comments easily hit the double digits? LOL

  12. Some docs do, some don't. I find it's niceto clamp the fuck DOWN on that finger, just to show them what a good sport I ain't.

    Mammograms are embarrassing only when you can't get your boobs aligned just SO and the tech womanhandles the twins around like they were slabs of meat. The LEAST they could do is give it a little pinch for fun, ya know?

  13. My great chance at the exam is Monday.....yup, my doc does the rectal...and then does a test for blood on a test strip. I have always had a very thorough exam and was glad for it....saves a lot of worry later on. As for the mammogram....i always end up bruised in my axilla area.

  14. Yup, my OB/GYN does the same thing with the pelvic exam. It's to check for cancer, polyps, etc.

    My mammogram is handled by a radiologist at a Women's Hospital. She is covered in tats and resembles "Abbey" from NCIS. When I went last week, she took one look at me and said "I remember you! You need the BIG plates!"