Thursday, April 22, 2010

Fingernails and Other Boring Stuff

Happy Earth Day, hooligans! I had a topic for today, but upon further thinking it through, I decided you all don't need to hear more about my colon. Hee hee.

I know you're disappointed...

A few weeks ago, I was trying to separate two loaves of frozen bread dough. I only needed one to bake and so I didn't want them both to thaw out, but I needed them apart.

After spending a while on the counter and not really getting any closer to a state of separation, Genius over here (that would be me) decided that banging them on the corner of the counter top might do the trick.

Guess who banged her middle finger between the brick-like frozen bread and the counter? Me, again.

It didn't really hurt for long, but it did bruise under the nail. It is STILL just bruised like crazy. It looks terrible, otherwise I would take a picture.

But, here is where the hookerlicious nails come in. I paint the nail a very light pink shade then put the press on nail on top. Voila! No more unsightly bruised nail.

Am I resourceful or what? I just hope the bruise starts to fade and my actual fingernail doesn't fall off. Do you think it will? 'Cause that would be very gross.

I like gross stuff, but not when it involves body parts falling off. MY body parts in particular.

I wouldn't even be able to put a hookerlicious nail on it. That glue would burn! Maybe I could put the nail on then wrap tape around my finger. That would be the white trash hookerlicious nail! Woot!


  1. Who cares about your frickin' nails? I just want to hear about how it feels to be so damned sexy at the age of 42! Happy Birthday!!!
    Love - The Evil Twin

  2. LOL.... did you only put on one hookerlicious nail??? Then it would look like a 70's coke nail ;-)

    Also wishing you a Happy Birthday!!!!

  3. oohh!!! its your birthday!?

    Happy Birthday!!!!

    as for the nail.. instead of using tape to hold it on..use a bandaid... wont look as "white trash" (i know...ive done it!)

  4. The Evil Twin is always the first on your birthday I so dig that ! HAPPY BIRTHDAY ETW - THANKS FOR ALWAYS KEEPING ME ENTERTAINED. Cheers to you and the Sexy Girls you treat us with every so often !

  5. Happy Birthday to you! I hope you have a wonderful day :-)

    And if it does turn black, I've always been told to drill a tiny hole it and it won't fall off. Use a sewing needle.

  6. I bet you said a naughty word too...It's great therapy as you know. Of course, my son now does the same thing...

  7. As I have lived my entire life with the bane of leprosy, parts of my body falling off are common place, so it really doesn't gross me out.

    Happy Birthday to ya, and Cheers ETW!!

  8. Happy Birthday! birthday updates or plans you can tell us about?

    Enjoy your very special day!

  9. ET - Thanks, baby. I love you, too!

    Ron - No, they all get the hookerlicious treatment, but this one just needs more work. LOL.

    OM - I considered a band-aid, too! LOL.

    Robbie - Thanks, hon. :-)

    Mrs. D. - I thought I had heard that too. Time for home surgery!

    Warren - Actually, I didn't curse at all. I think I was too busy trying to not black out! LOL.

    Matt-Man - Thanks!

    Chandra - Thanks, but at my age, it's not that big of a deal anymore. LOL.

  10. I have hookerlicious nails all the time, I guess. I have been getting acrylic on my nails for about 10 years. I have had a few breaks in there, but my manicurist and I have a very special relationship and I can't stay away from him.

    Happy Birthday!

  11. When you get to my age you're generally amazed nothing's dropped off!

    Fly the Flag tomorrow! It's St Georges Day in England!!!!

  12. Aw....I love the Evil Twin's post. Happy Birthday, darlin'.

  13. White-trash hookerlicious sounds really hawt! ;-)

    Happy birthday!

  14. A late Happy Birthday here to bookend the early Happy Birthday elsewhere!

    You know my sister calls me Grace because I'm so clumsy, right? I've gotten bruises under my fingernails more times than I can count. The part of the bruise stuck under the fingernail grows out with the nail. At least that's how it's always worked with me. If you get a different result, let me know because maybe my nail-healing abilities are messed up or something.

  15. I hope your day was great... and hookerlicious nails can come in handy.

  16. Karen - I love the acrylics. I wore them for years and may go back to them once Sissy is in preschool.

    4D - Nothing better drop off! Ever! LOL.

    Gigi - Thanks, sweetie!

    Jay - ROFL! And thanks! :-)

    4D - Thanks!

    BB - I hope I have the same luck as you!

    Doc - You are a perv! But, thanks for the birthday wishes! ;-)

  17. A belated Happy Birthday to ya ETW, you youngster!

    I think if the bruised area is away from the base of the nail it ought to be safe. I sadly have experience with this sort of thang.

  18. White trash hookerlicious nails are a cure all in these parts