Wednesday, January 28, 2009

The University Guinea Pig

When my ex-boyfriend was at the university getting his Master's Degree in filmmaking, he happened to meet many interesting people. Even though I was at a different university (and later at a full-time job), I got to meet these people because we were dating.

As a side note: this boyfriend, just like everyone else I have dated in life, was older than me, but he was late entering college. He and I went through the entire undergrad process together, but by the time he had decided to get his Master's, I had graduated with a Bachelor's and moved on to the world of working drudgery. We never attended the same university.

Anyway, he met all these crazy college people and would use these fine folks in his independent films that he had to complete as class projects.

One guy was named "Sam" (not his real name). Sam was, I believe, of a middle European descent - because he had the most lovely olive skin tone. He was also a hairy mo fo.

Sam was teased in a fun manner by his friends because he did what was dubbed as the "Butt Job". Now, the butt job didn't always involve his butt - just sometimes. It was basically being the guinea pig for the university students who were studying pre-med.

He would participate in all these trial things and let the students "practice" techniques on him. He got paid for this work, but sometimes it involved a rectal exam or a few... He didn't seem to mind and actually laughed along with everyone else when he discussed the "butt job".

I suppose that's not a bad gig for a college student. It's a way to earn some spending money and the hours are good.

I mean, if I had the opportunity between that and say, fast food... I probably would have chosen the butt job too.

Anyway, one of the student films my ex did was about body piercings and Sam had decided he wanted a guiche. (link is NSFW or K {around kids}).

A guiche is a piercing of the taint. (for those unaware, the taint is the area between the balls and the butthole - as in "it aint your nuts and it aint your asshole").

As I said earlier, Sam was a hirsute man. His taint needed shaved prior to being pierced. All of that is on the film. It's hilarious. The guy doing the piercings is wearing surgical gloves and wielding a Bic razor as he tackles Sam's hairy taint (OMGosh, that's a great band name: Sam's Hairy Taint - feel free to steal it!).

The taint was shaved, cleaned and pierced. It looked great.

I lost touch with Sam years ago, but I hope where ever he is, he is doing well. I hope he earned a useful degree and no longer has to do the butt job.

And, I hope he "Taint Misbehaving!" (I couldn't resist - sorry!).

Adios, gringos.


  1. Wait one second! You're supposed to get paid for rectal exams?

  2. And there is a mental image I could have done without - and I didn't even click the link! ;o)
    Thanks for the giggle today.

  3. Hey! I got a great ad slogan! "Bic, it taint just fo yo face!" I'll let you know if I make any money off that :)

  4. I'm not sure what to say. Other than my hoo hoo hurst now just thinking about it!!

  5. Um, yeah...for once, I'm speechless...but LOL!!! :0

  6. I don't really get that piercing...I mean...I just don't know what to say.

    If I had between the fun park and the sewer...I think I'd stick with dreadlocks, or a nice pony tail braid...but piercing...and subsequent shaves!

  7. LOL...yeah, um, I find that oddly hysterical! I just have so many questions...but, well, never mind ;)

  8. And I thought I had heard it all...

    That's NASTY.

  9. OUCH, you gotta be a special dude to shave another guy's stuff and then pierce it

  10. Well, now I know you weren't fibbing when you told me this story!

    Too bad I'm at school and can't watch the video.

  11. Hmm....never knew where the 'taint' was I'm not so sure I wanted to know ;)

  12. That is great! I also thought that I had heard everything. I know lots of pierced and tattooed people but never knew that this piercing existed. I guess you really do learn something new everyday!

  13. And here Mama Buzzardbilly lets her docs bring the med students in to enjoy her regularly scheduled sigmoidoscopies for free! To think of the money we've lost!

    BTW, find gross bonus cause I know you likey the gross just like me: When they do the siggy, they have to fill the ass innards with puffs of air which cause great pressure and the loudest fart known to man when the oscopy tool is removed. This is followed by a need to run with the speed of Jesse Owens to the nearest toilet and the pressure of the air and all will cause the patient to shit with such velocity that it literally bypassed the toilet and went straight up the wall. Least that's what Mama says and Mama never lies (even when I look bad). Isn't it great to have gross friends?

  14. I had a hairy guy friend that was good natured like that - he let us burn his arm hair off with lighters (keep in mind that we were around 20 years old and probably drunk at the time - so it was highly amusing). It never hurt him - just crinkled up and went Poof!

  15. Dave - well, he got paid to be a *lab rat* basically, sooooo. The regular ones are on your dime!

    Penelope - You're welcome. The link is just to the Wikipedia page and has one pic.

    Ron - wonder if Bic wants their product associated that way. Get it ASSociated? Woot!

    kenju - sorry! LOL.

    Crazy Mo - you wouldn't believe what people will pierce.

    TGG - It's been 20 years and I still watch that segment and laugh like a loon.

    Warren - it's supposed to add extra pleasure to the end result of fun if tugged at the appropriate time. I guess that's why it seems desirable to some people.

    Laura - I'll even show you the clip if you come by!

    SoLow - surprisingly, I'm surprised you hadn't heard of this one. Some bikers get some "out there" piercings.

    The Girl - the only thing I ever think is, "I wonder if XX held his breath?" LOL.

    Ginger - I didn't add the vid. I can't... I don't think I have permission.

    Efen - that knowledge will come in handy if you hear any taint jokes from now on.

    Trisha - see? It really is an educational blog.

    BB - Wow. you'd think they'd have a better way?

    Alex - the funniest part was at the end. The starter jewelry was a flexible nylon cord that needed to be lit to seal. I was afraid the rest of his ass bush would go up in smoke! LOL!!!

  16. OMG! this is exactly the reason I fell in love with your sense of humor all those years ago. You never cease to amuse me!
    It also reminds me of the good ol' days spent drinking at your house in Spring Hill and all of your (and Evil Twin's) great stories. Those were the good 'ol days...

  17. I just wanna know how in the hell a man can see under his sack to put the damn ring in - or does someone else do that for you? Surely you take it out to clean it. OK, I'm thinking too much on this one - I'm still in shock...

  18. Aaaaaaah! The eyeballs in my imagination are burning!!!

  19. Thank you for the visual lol I will have the picture in my head all day!!

  20. Arrrgggg! I don't know which hurts more. My burning eyes from looking at the taint photo or my butt from tensing up so hard after realizing that guy had a taint ring.

  21. MsPulp - those were fun days. I hope we'll be able to get together soon.

    Momma - I guess they just lift up the sack o' seeds and bend forward to see... Not sure.

    NCP - oh honey, and that is TAME by my standards. LOL.

    Loni - it takes all kinds, huh?

    Al - LOL!!

  22. OMG, Sam's hairy Taint...Sounds like a porno movie to
    great story!!!

  23. Oh, wow. You weren't kidding, were you?

    "Melancholy Taint" would definitely fit here. When I told Chachi that MT was an awesome Bad Band Name, he grinned.

    All he said was "Well, they'd definitely have to be Emo."

  24. so many mental images... i may never sleep again ;~)

  25. I once dated a middle-eastern descent dude named Sam. Can't imagine HIM ever being so adventurous....

  26. You see, I have lived all my 35 years without ever knowing that really happens. Now I'm screwed.