Wednesday, January 14, 2009

The Patron Saint of Quality Programming

As part of his job, the Evil Twin has had to travel to Santa Monica, California a few times.

Each time, he brings back some cute things. He really likes the kitschy figures - like the Dunny from Kidrobot or other unusual vinyl figures.

I'm a Catholic, but I know hilarious when I see hilarious.

He brought home a box containing a figure of Saint Clare. St. Clare is the patron saint of television. Seriously, us Catholics have saints for everything! We're not about to leave any stone unturned or any prayer or need without a saint!

I kept it in the box on top of our dresser until she was spotted recently by Sissy.

Sissy wanted to "look" at her. So, I let her see the box. When we went to the Mart of Wal on Monday, Sissy wanted to take St. Clare along.

Eventually, I decided to take St. Clare out of the package and let Sissy just play with her.

Sissy alternately calls her "St. Clare" and "Woman". Too funny.

Notice the halo and the remote control in her left hand.

The card included in the box states, "Saint Clare: Patron Saint of Television" "Protector of televisions, telephones, embroiderers, goldsmiths, laundry workers and eyes."

Prayer to Assist in Experiencing Quality Television

O wonderous St. Clare, I ask that you bless my television with clear reception and good color balance. I also ask for your assistance in choosing quality programs that provide me with endless hours of enlightening entertainment. Amen.

Judging by what's on the 4 million channels we have right now, it doesn't seem like such a crazy request!


  1. Our local grocery sells the candles of various saints that you can light. My wife has a cabinet full of St Jude. Maybe if they sold the St Clare candle, we would be assured that our DVR would never run out of space on the hard drive.

  2. Hmmmm... I'll have to do a search to find a saint just for my needs. I wonder if he/she exists?

  3. Shoot me now...I thought it looked like a PEZ container. Hope the televison prayer works for ya!

  4. "Saint Clare: Patron Saint of Television" "Protector of televisions, telephones, embroiderers, goldsmiths, laundry workers and eyes."

    St. Clare is a woman of many talents! (I can poke fun - 12 years of Catholic school baby!)

  5. wow, i'm catholic & didn't um, really know that St. Clare was the saint of TV - wait 'til I "wow" my hubby with that knowledge! ;) - being the good Catholic he is, he probably already knows that shit...LOL!

  6. I'm a Catholic....Never knew this. Your husband is so clever... The remote in her hand is killing me, I need to get one and put it right on top of my TV.

  7. I suppose she's been focusing on embroiderers a lot the past few years...the tv programming has slipped pretty badly. I hope your prayer lets her know of the needs of those of us not textile oriented!

  8. I love that!

    Archie McPhee has a ton of those saint figures, btw.

  9. Dave - so far it hasn't worked for us in that regard. The Evil Twin still gets all twitchy if someone is using up even an half hour on the DVR!

    Ron - yes, and I'll email you a few suggestions in a bit.

    JA - I know! Isn't it great?

    themom - might want to patent that idea. PEZ might start distributing saints!

    Susan - she gets around, doesn't she?

    TGG - I didn't know prior to seeing this figurine....

    The Girl - whatever works, huh?

    Warren - and people look at me funny when I say I don't watch TV. Wonder why I don't? LOL.

    Blair - I love Archie McPhee! I have to be careful when browsing over there!

  10. I can understand why laundry workers and embroiderers need tv...but goldsmiths? Pouring hot metal AND watching Bewitched could lead to wearing a hook for a hand!

  11. I wonder what St Clare thinks of the change to digital television...

  12. So true! Just don't start praying to her.
    Hilarious that Sissy calls her "woman" and carries her to Wal-Mart. That must crack people up to see it!

  13. Wow! That is so funny. I am not Catholic but I have to say in some cases it seems like a very practical religion.

  14. PS - I can't believe I missed the Scrabble!! I am so bummed.
    I took a mere three day break and look how much I missed! a great idea and funny, too.
    Do it again! Please! Please!

  15. That is hilarious!!!!!!! I am Catholic (practicing right down to natural child planning, baby!) I want one - I will have to check our Catholic store here in town and see what they come up with.

  16. That's a pretty eclectic mix of things to be a patron saint of! I was raised Catholic, but The Husband is United (Methodist to you Americans). Growing up, he attended Timothy Eaton Memorial Church. Timothy Eaton was the founder of Eatons, a large prominent department store (Bloomingdales-ish in it's day). The Husband always joked that his church was named after the Patron Saint of Retail.

  17. honeywine - she's patron to ALL those things, not that one would need a TV to be lumped in with her... It's weird, but that's how we do things.

    Dave - perhaps it'll make her job easier?

    MsPulp - I made her leave it in the van, but she really loves it. I can still give you a letter: L. Go for it.

    Alex - check the archie mcphee website. They have them.

    Crazy Mo - there probably is a saint of retail!

  18. It's good to know there is a TV saint out there. I never knew one existed. I always thought it was my husband the way he lords over the remote!

    I did my letter meme :)

  19. well i never.
    a patron saint for TV!!
    i'm a catholic and i never knew.
    i always thought i was committing a mortal sin when i watched the telly. :-)

  20. CUTE! I lurve kitschy stuff. Have you ever seen the "Wash Your Sins" soap? Or "Pretty For Jesus" makeup? LOL.

  21. Ms Barbara Jane - we are nothing, if not practical! :-)

    Carolyn - LOL!

    Clippy Mat - there are lots of saints for things I never knew out there.

    Ginger - haven't seen those... Must google....

  22. That Saint is too funny!
    Let me know if you need another one if she breaks it LOL (I'm out here in Cali!), Just tell me where to get it.
    OHHHH great I think I might have opened a can once everyone else see that LOL
    I will have requests from all over :P

  23. yeah, while you are asking for all of that stuff, could you ask St Clare to come over to our house and hook up those stupid converter boxes for us? I am about to pray to St. Jude.

  24. Holy cow - we almost named Toots Virginia Clare (spelled just that way!) which would have been the perfect name being how much we lvoe TV inth is house!
    Love the little figure!

  25. Dear Clare,
    Please bless the poor stupid people who haven't figured out that on February 19th.. their friggin tv's won't work any longer.

    I'm not certain there have been ENOUGH ANNOUNCMENTS thus far.

    In the lord's name.
    ah- men.

    I like to say it that way. AHH not aaaaaaaaaaa ( long vowel)

  26. Hahaha! I need one of those for our ghettovision. We have dish, and have been having issues picking up a consistent signal because of all the trees around our house, but haven't really messed with it because we're probably going to get a new system soon. It's usually down until something Mike wants to watch comes on. Then he fixes it.

  27. I am a fan of St. Drogo - Patron Saint of the Unattractive.

    Go to for the top 8 Most Bizarre Patron Saints.