Thursday, May 15, 2008

Big Baby Clown Britches

I had to make a trip out to my favorite haunt, the old WalMart yesterday. Oh, joy!

The Evil Twin called me and asked if I was going and I told him that was my plan. He wanted me to pick up another pack of undies for him.

Now, some of you know the Evil Twin. He is not a small guy. In fact, I often call him “My Big Beefy Burrito.” I’m a tall girl, so I’ve always picked the taller, bigger guys. If they outweigh me by 100 or more pounds, I’m cool with that.

The Evil Twin was only about 180 pounds when we met. He’s currently somewhere north of 200. And I mean, real north.

But, ya know what? He quit smoking almost 4 years ago and he packed on a few pounds then and any other weight he’s collected along the way, I just attribute to the fact that I’m a good cook. (Hey, don’t laugh - I’ve acquired some mad cooking skillz over the years).

So, anyway, he told me what size undies to fetch and when I got to the store, all I could find were briefs in a size he specified (let’s say 10 to 12) and the lower number was what he was looking for OR I could go for the next lowest size, the 6 to 8s. I didn’t want to get ones that would be too small for his big business, so I got the range that stated the number he had requested, plus the larger number.

When he got home, I opened the pack to put them in the laundry to be washed.

These underpants look like the big, bulky cloth diapers babies used to wear back before disposables were all the rage OR they look like something from the fricking circus. Like joke underpants.

They are ridiculous big. We were laughing - the Evil Twin said you could pin them to a wall and show a movie on them, like a back drop.

They are 100% cotton, so we’re hoping for some moderate, if not considerable, shrinkage. Otherwise, he’s gonna be wearing really baggy briefs for a while.

<--- Actual photo documentation of Ridiculously Large Underpants. LOL!!!!


  1. Wow a 10-12 he's not that big at all! LOL

    Hope for some shrinkage because if underwear don't support the twins it's really sort of useless :)

  2. Ron - I know! He does like his "package to be secure".

  3. My wife has always purchased my undies, but I recently went out on a foray (to Sears--they've always had good underwear) and was amazed at the choices. Low-rise, mid-rise, full-rise...what, you have to pick your underwear depending on your expected level of excitement?

    I also found myself on the cusp, size-wise (the underwear size, thankyouverymuch). I went with the large ones. They didn't shrink. TW saw them on me once and has forbidden me from wearing them any more. Apparently, it ain't pretty.

    They're comfy, though.

  4. hahahahaaa!!! Was it just a mismarked package or what?

  5. CADude - I always buy his too, although usually at Kohl's. I'm cheap, so I will make him wear them regardless of how they look. LOL.

    Rebecca - no! They're just ginormous. I think he buys them too big anyway....

  6. Wash them in hot water and they are sure to shrink!

  7. Joke underwear? Isn't that what thongs are?

  8. My husband wear his briefs so big that they;re looser than boxers would be!

    There's absolutely no support there of *anything. He likes to sway in the breeze, so to speak.

  9. kenju - that's my plan: super hot wash, super hot dry.

    Tiff - joke underwear come in two sizes: Ridiculously Large and Ridiculously Small.

    kwr - The Evil Twin doesn't like to sway in the breeze, yet he still wears too big (IMO) undies. Men...true enigmas.

  10. Dudes still wear briefs??

    I can't handle that kind of restriction!

  11. Oh no, it'll not keep the boys intact. Big T can't stand not having that support.

    Great post!

  12. Hey, here's a thought: you could both get in them at the same time, kind of like a sex toy! ;-D

    (Shame on me!)

  13. Those are ridiculously huge.

    I tagged you in a story meme. It is pretty simple just add a few lines and move it along. I have a feeling you might have some good ideas to add.

  14. AC - some dudes, yeah.

    Diva - thanx!

    Carolyn - you might be onto something....

    Wyld, you won't believe how much trouble this post got me into. I'll check out the tag.

  15. Actually that underwear looks very similar to mine (the big one's LOL) except mine have a big brown stripe down the center :-P

  16. Ex-hubby was a briefs kinnna dude. Then he got into the long mid-thigh tidy whities.

    Curmy's a commando man. He owns one pair (to go to doctor). LOL. How does anyone even end up with just one pair of underwear?

  17. too me, commando = skip marks on jean. yuck. that takes away the sexy factor completely. :-(

  18. ETW - how do you get your pics small like that? When I add a pic it's ridiculously large.

  19. Ron - sounds like a personal problem to me. ;-)

    BB - Yes, the men's undies typically come in packs. I've never seen just one undie for sale. What happens when the special "doctor's only" undie wears out?

    kwr - first, I resize my images in whatever program I have (HP photo something or other - you might be able to find something free online - anyone?), then when you upload, it will say small, medium, large on the right side of that upload box. I choose whichever I want then click upload and voila!