Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Dear Mother Nature

It is May - nearly June, in fact. What is up with this crappy weather? I haven't even been able to clean out the kids' closets because, frankly, I don't know what we'll need to wear from day to day.

I'm from the South. I expect mid March to be "shorts weather". If I have to wear even a light jacket in May, I consider that an epic FAIL.

Let's get this cleared up and pronto. May = warm weather. Nice weather. Weather where my family can sit out on our patio and enjoy the fresh air.

Our house is situated in the middle of 2 rather large lots. It takes the Evil Twin the better part of a day for yard maintenance. We have a swing set for the kids, my wonderful hammock and plenty of outdoor toys. Unfortunately, we can't even enjoy these things because it is always: a)Rainy b)Damp or c)Just too fucking cold.

Even if the sun comes out for approximately 10 minutes a day, that's not enough to dry out my hammock and the ground.

Not to start a political debate here, but if global warming were real, wouldn't the temperatures be going UP, not down? Al Gore can kiss my ass.

No, wait. My ass is too good for that. He can clean all my toilets with his tongue. I bet he's sorry he invented the internet, now!! My toilets await you, Al - and they need a scrubbing!

Because I am freezing to death in my own modest home, I haven't exactly been motivated to do much housework.

I guess I'll go turn the shower to "scalding" and try to warm up a bit....


  1. I feel your pain. It's been rainy and in the low 60's here for several days. However...the forecast calls for temps in the 80's Sun-Tues. Praise Jeebus!! Cheers ETW, and may the sun soon strike your cleavage. Amen.

  2. I heard/read somewhere that because of Global Warming we could expect colder temps believe it or not because of the glacier changes and movement which changes the tide and wind, blah, blah, blah...I didn't buy into until this year. It's the same way here, it's been raniny and COLD (for May) and frankly I am just plain sick of it! (to think the pool opens up next weekend, can you even imagine going swimming??)

    I hear by this weekend it's suppose to FINALLY get up into the 80's and usually the wether we have here travels your SPRING is on it's way...she's just taking her sweet time this year.

  3. Global warming is an unfortunate misnomer. While the over all global average temperature is expected to increase (even if only by 1 or 2 degrees Celsius), locally temperature extremes in both directions will be more likely. The scientists & researchers aren't meaning to imply that Toronto is going to be enjoying Miami type weather by net spring.

    That said, May 5 I rode my bike home from work here in upstate NY in my shirtsleeves. It was near 80 degrees. 4 days later on Mothers Day, I got to throw a snowball at the ash tree in the front yard as I went out to get the morning paper. Extremes indeed!

  4. I'm totally with you. My biggest temp issue isn't outside or my house, which have both been mostly comfortable, but my office. I am FREEZING!

    And I'm so totally over rain.

  5. I sort of like the cooler weather... maybe it's because I have so much insulation....

  6. I live in Georgia and I feel your pain. The weather has been CRAZY. I AM NOW OVER IT. It's almost summer. Jeez.

  7. After enduring the largest snowfall ever recorded in our small Texas town, I'm thinking it's a crock too!

  8. Our weather is all over the place year round. a common statement is If you wait 5 minutes in Idaho the weather will change. I do scalding all of the time or wear layers because i am too cheap to turn the thermostat up....well, actually I can't afford to.

  9. I was wondering the same thing! This weather is icky and moody. Did you get those bad thunderstorms the other night? (I do like thunderstorms, though!)

  10. I love you, Woman! I agree. I put all my winter clothes away last month and I have been freezing my ass off.

  11. Matt-Man - I am looking forward to that sunshine.

    Chandra - our pool is scheduled to open after Memorial Day - bet that water is COLD!

    Brian - it's a wonder we don't all have pneumonia!

    Paige - Yes, the rain does stink!

    Ron - LOL. If it would just dry up around here, I'd be happy.

    Princess - I can't believe it's bad in GA too. :-(

    STG - I heard y'all got record snow there this year! Crazy!

    rosemary - I wear my robe over my regular clothes most mornings!

    Mary - Yep, we've had some doozies. Some just pass right over. It's weird.

    Dish - I'm holding out on the clothes for now. :-)

  12. Global warming is measured by trends over years, not daily weather. I'm with you, though - I want it to be HOT!!

  13. some time ago i was in buffalo, ny and it snowed in may!!

    im like you, when march hits, it may rain some, but for the most part its shorts and tshirts

  14. We've been sharing some of your crappy weather with a couple of frost warnings thrown in for good luck.

    Sure, it's the upper midwest, but it's even been wackier here than we expect.

  15. I like it actually.

    So next week when it's blazing hot the same folks will complain about that I guess.

    It's really a very good thing to have real transitions into seasons as opposed to one week of transition. It's good for the plants and animals and it is certainly good for this guy who grew up in the Midwest and enjoys the changing of the seasons and cooler weather.