Monday, May 24, 2010

Dead in the Shed

We have a wooden shed behind the house where the Evil Twin keeps his lawn equipment and assorted other household "things" (like window screens, the wheelbarrow, etc.).

The last time he was in there - 2 weeks ago - he noticed there were a metric boatload of flies in there. He couldn't imagine why.

Then he moved the old trash cans he uses for picking up yard debris and found the culprit. A dead squirrel. Still fairly fresh looking, but definitely dead.

I was summoned to the back yard to witness the gory site. I have a keen sense of smell, but I didn't smell anything "off", so I don't think he had been there too long.

The main dilemma was that the Evil Twin didn't want to scrape it up onto a shovel himself. We contemplated calling the neighbors, but in a valiant effort to not appear a complete wuss, he said if I would scrape it up onto the shovel, he would take over after that and discard the deceased over the fence line.

I was okay with that. As long as I didn't have to look at it too long, I could handle the initial scraping. It was a bit "stuck" to the shed floor, but I worked at it and eventually had it ON the shovel. We were both alternately laughing and saying "Ewww" at the same time. It was pretty comical.

The Evil Twin flung Flatimir over the fence line and it landed on a log, just like that, just landed on a freaking tree branch - all flat and stiff and stuff.

After the "send off", we laughed about the absurdity of it all. Later, I went and took pictures. This isn't the greatest shot, but I was balancing on 2 wobbly boards to try to get the closest view (thank goodness for DSLR and a super zoom lens).

Gross!!! It's a good thing I enjoy the macabre and icky parts of life.

This is going to make an interesting (and funny) science experiment. I'll document the decomposition of Flatimir. Of course, I will let you all know if it gets too bad for the normal person to stomach. Chances are, he might be blown off that perch, but we'll see!

Happy Monday, hooligans and welcome to my sick world!


  1. Good. I hate squirrels. But the Evil Twin? His Man Card has been revoked. Cheers ETW!!

  2. I guess secret squirrel isn't so secret anymore! lol

  3. Don't underestimate the squirrel. He could be faking all of this to lull you into a false sense of security and then when you least expect it BAM!!! he attacks.

  4. Matt-Man - To be fair, I picked it up and he tossed it. It was teamwork. I did what he didn't want to do and he did what I didn't want to do. TEAMWORK! :-)

    Doc - The Evil Twin gave him that name.

    Lisa - LOL.

    Ron - I hope he is good and dead.

  5. I doubt it gets much chance to decompose. Birds and all the little nibblers will get to it pretty fast.

  6. The name is AWESOME, lol. I don't like dead stuff so I would've be useless in this situation. I bet some dog eats Flatimir. Dogs love chewing on stinky carcasses, lol.

  7. UGH, gross - do we have a suspected cause of death?

  8. That is what I want to did he get to be Flatimer? Evil Twin run him over and not notice? Too bad because you could have had roadkill stew! Love to you both! ETWF/ETF

  9. Ugh. I can stomach dead animals most definitely. But insects are something I can't take. Kudos to you.

  10. You should have called me! I would have come up and disposed of Flatimir. Oh, wait... what am I saying?

  11. Gross! But if that had happened here I would have been the one scrapping and tossing too. Hubs is a total wuss for those things. I once trapped a mouse in a glue trap, woke him up to dispose of it and he started running up and down looking for a box to cover the damn mouse (??). By the time he found the box I had taken care of the nasty rodent. LOL, I would have loved to witness your teamwork!

  12. That's some good eatin' right there.

  13. Jay - I'll have to check on him tomorrow morning...

    Mrs. D - we have strict dog leash laws around here. I've only seen one dog wandering around in the 5+ yrs we've lived here.

    The Chick - we're not sure. Either got trapped in there and starved or was already sick and went someplace secluded to die.

    IvyGirl - See above. Love you, too!

    Josh - the Evil Twin doesn't have a problem with dead animals, but he just didn't want to do the scraping up part.

    Inanna - where are you when we need you?? LOL.

    Jetsa - the Evil Twin handles tooth extractions and I handle vomit episodes. So, we compliment each other well.

    Dave - Lord only knows how long that thing had been there. It looked fairly fresh, but.... Blech!

  14. That's awesome! Cannot wait to see more photos of Flatimir's decomp.

  15. You are so funny ETW - only YOU would not only take a picture of the dead squirrel but then tantalize us with upcoming decomposing pictures. :)

    Poor Flatamir. Do you think he got stuck in the shed and starved?