Friday, March 20, 2009

False Start

I wasn't feeling very inspired last night (which is usually when I write), so when I woke up this morning, I had nothing and was still not feeling it. So, I flaked out and posted one of my very favorite songs that I always think on when I feel stressed or overwhelmed.

I also wanted to thank everyone who left comments yesterday. It's such a complicated issue that had I kept listing all the wrongs, we'd still be here this morning.

I get very tired of maintaining one sided relationships. If I can be there for you, I will be. I expect you to be there for me, within reason. I mean, if I asked someone for a favor once and they were legitimately already obligated to another project or whatever at that time, I understand. However, after about 4 such slights and then I find that most of the "cover-ups" are flat out lies... well, then I start to lose my faith.

The last time I checked friendships were based on honesty, loyalty and trust. Without any of those and a good measure of their complete opposites, I get the hint. Loud and clear.

I mean, how do you explain to your children why their uncle and aunt can't be bothered to send even just a birthday email (forget present or even mailing a card - I never thought that necessary). But, not even an email or phone call on the birthdays? Ever?

Anyway, enough on THAT. It's drained me enough for the time being.

I have a load on my plate today. I'm waiting for the first load of laundry to come out the dryer, so I can put a 2nd load in. I still haven't had a shower (it's 10:32). I need to get to a couple of different stores. Then, I need to pick up Buddy from school at 2:40 and have him back at the school by 4:50, so he can work at the Fish Fry.

Guess we'll have dinner there again this Friday - which is fine. The food is always good. However, anything worn in there smells like seafood later and has to be washed! LOL.

I was so lazy last night, there was a PTO meeting at 6, but I only found out about it when I had to take Sissy into the school to pee. We had been sitting in the pick up line, waiting for the bell to ring and she had to go, so we went in and on my way out of the office, I overheard someone mention a PTO meeting. I didn't receive any notice, although they said a reminder had gone home....

That happens a lot this year. I either don't get reminders or get them with such short notice it's ridiculous. I'm sure they're all crammed in Buddy's desk.... So, anyway, I just didn't feel like rushing back down there so quickly after dinner had been prepared and the kitchen cleaned up.

Ok, I need to fold some laundry, then hop in the shower. If I'm not able to swing by blogs this morning, I'll get caught up this evening. Better late than never, huh?

Judging by the type of day I've had already, I'll consider it a success that I get to them at all!

Have a happy Friday and first day of Spring (?... If I say it often enough, maybe it'll happen).


  1. It's been 'one of those mornings' here too. I blame Spring.

  2. You are making me so glad that my kids are grown!

  3. My dad always forgets the kids birthdays. Last year he asked me to send him their "full names" obstensibly for some family tree project (whatever). What a turd. I totally know how you feel.

  4. I just got caught up on your blog, WOW, what a burden you have been carrying around...I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. I really think every family has that one sibling that is a complete bago'douche...I have one too, so you are totally not alone on how you feel.

    You have YOUR family and that is all you need. They will love you unconditionally no matter what and that's what's important!

  5. Hope you're feeling better. BTW...thanks for that video you sent me of yourself at the hockey game...I posted it on my page ;)

    Uh...for those 'gullible' types out there...this 'probably' isn't ETW :)

  6. I, too, had to go back and catch up because I somehow missed the one the day before.

    You should feel like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders. In all of the time I've known you, all I've ever known of him was that he apparently lived a life that didn't include any of his family except for those times when he needed something or just decided that he was going to make a decision that affected the entire family without consulting anyone else in the family to see how they felt about it.

    It's been worse than a one-way street. It's been a garbage chute where he sometimes have to reach back in and dig something to use out again. I'm sorry. That's harsh. But, that's how I feel. I know you well enough to know that right now you're trapped between that wall of guilt from wanting to be the kind of siblings that your parents had hoped you would be and the complete necessity to remove your family from a situation where you're not welcomed or included or appreciated or treated as a person would treat a friend, much less a sister, when you know that situation could turn parasitic at a moment's notice.

    At least it sounds like you'll be busy enough to not have time to dwell. Weather's supposed to be good for the next week!

  7. P.S. You're also teaching your children that they do not have to put up with anyone who treats them badly. It's an important one for them to see.

  8. First day of Spring and it is SNOWING here. Not fair at all.

  9. Happy Spring, ETW. Even if it's only on the calendar.
    It has to come sometime, but for now at least you have the fish fry,(which makes me jealous)

  10. I know how you feel about one sided friendships... they are exhausting and frustrating to the point that you could just scream. Everyone has drama with their family. It sucks, but what doesn't kill ya makes you stronger. I will always be here for you. You have been a lighthouse in my storm in the past and I am a better person for knowing you!

  11. aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh! I have laundry to do this weekend :( Hoping the washing will go by fast enough to forget about it lol.

  12. Spring is here, but is hammock weather here? :) Hopefully the day mellows out for you soon.

  13. We still have not made it to our church's fish fry. The kids don't like fish, and one of them hates french fries (I *swear* he is still mine, though). Have a nice weekend, ETW.

  14. I'm right there with you on friendships. While I know moving sucks, if I know someone is moving, I offer to help (because nobody else ever will). Sometimes it doesn't work out schedule-wise, but I'm sincere in my offering.

    A few years ago I was moving from downstairs to upstairs and I sent out an e-mail to my friends asking for help - I am a single woman. I had one friend who came by before he had to go to work for about an hour and a half. I sat in my apt. and cried wondering how I was supposed to get my bedroom furniture up the stairs by myself.

    My one friend wanted to help, but his wife wouldn't let him due to his allergies and my cats.

    Sadly, I'd still all of them move if they needed it, because I'm a sucker.

  15. OOOHHH!!! Niece/nephew birthdays. My problem went the other way. When I lived in SF, I would mail presents to my niece and nephew and wouldn't receive any notification whatsoever that they had even received it, much less a thank you. I asked my mom why she raised my sister differently than the rest of us.

  16. I have the same issues with friendships. If you are my friend, then I am with you 100% through the good the bad and the ugly.

    Recent changes in my life are helping me weed out my true friends. It is really hurtful in a way, especially since I see many of these people at social gatherings, and they really 'care' then.

    I guess weeding these people out just leaves me more love and energy to give to the people who deserve it!

  17. One of my few good traits is my loyalty. With all the crap that has happened in the last year i certainly found out who my true friends were. As hurtful as it is my life is much fuller only having them and losing the fly by nights. If you ever need an ear, I am here.

  18. I DETEST one sided friendships/relationships as well...I let go of one a long time ago - & guess what, she found me on FB! wtf??! Happy Spring & Happy Friday to you too! ;)

  19. Sweetie, maybe I should send you a pic of MY girls - then our friendship would be reciprocal!Luv ya.xx♥

  20. Well I think you know my dealings with friendships if you've read any of my rants about it! Sometimes people just have the own personal logic about things that I just can't seem to understand. Like at the moment, if I text a friend I expect a text back within a couple of days with at least a "hey, i'm fine how are you?". If I have to wait a week to get a response then i'm just annoyed.

    Anyway happy spring to ya!

  21. Tiff - or lack thereof... Ugh!

    Kenju - Someday, I will not be the shuttle bus any more!

    Alex - I'm sorry you're in the same boat. It's disappointing, I think because we feel like family should *care more*, ya know?

    Chandra - That's how I'm looking at it: I have my own little family here and they're perfect!

    Efen - I don't attend sport events and besides, those things looked store bought!

    BB - Your words truly mean a great deal to me. You said it all perfectly. Thanks, hon.

    Karen - That is most definitely NOT fair!

    powdergirl - that fish fry do make me happy!

    JFab - Thanks so much! You are a dear and I love having you in my life as well.

    Loni - I joke that my middle name should be "Laundry" (I don't have one - really!).

    Ron - the hammock is up, but it's still a bit too chilly today. I know my time is coming!

    Gigi - We can't get Sissy to eat any sit down meals... she's a grazer, that's for sure.

    Kathleen - yep, that's the "let down" feeling I speak of. And, when I did send gifts for their kids, they weren't acknowledged either. Finally, I just quit sending things.

    Vevay - That's a great way to look at it!

    Bitchy - Yes, sometimes we just need to "clean house".

    TGG - Oh NO! Did you befriend her?

    Natalie - my computer friends are exempt. They pay me back in blog posts!

    AC - it IS annoying! It doesn't take more than half a minute to get in touch with someone!

  22. I think your thoughts on friendship and the importance of reciprocity are RIGHT ON! Yay!

  23. Trying to recall when I last had a shower. I guess it was over a year ago at christmas when I got a hotel room.

    That doesn't mean that I'm dirty, it just means that I don't waste all that water.

    No point in caring about kids when you are screwing up the water on this planet so much that they won't have a future here anyway.

    Just saying.

  24. I have blown off a couple of meetings this year and it felt so good!

  25. i'm pretty sure half the shit i'm supposed to get from Haley's school is stuffed in her desk too.

    Sounds like another glamorous day - not too unlike mine!

    Have a great weekend

  26. Momma says Screw... Anyone who isn't on Team ETW!!!
    We all love you here in Blogger World, and quite frankly, find you amazingly awesome. So, in the words of Boom Boom, go 'head on with your bad self --and guess what?? YOU ROCK!


  27. Trying to recall when I last had a shower. I guess it was back in 1968when the pigs sprayed me with that firehose during the Chicago riots. I just take a putty knife and scrape all the gunk off every 16 months or so. Why waste precious water? We've screwed everything up. I'm pretty sure the End is near. Three weeks at the most. I'm doing my part to help by posting comments on blogs that are so off-topic that it leaves the other readers scratching their heads, wondering why I bother to post at all. What are YOU doing to help?

  28. Seriously, not to butt in or anything, but WTF does BBC showering or not have to do with either little children or this blog.

    Creeeeeeeeeeeeeepy. Maybe I should make that with a capital eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy.

  29. No! No! I take it all back because now all I can think about is my sudden craving for BeLila! Now that's one righteous d00d.

  30. My 'girls' were a huge HIT at the formal on friday night- everybody loved them and i shared the credit with you ofcourse for giving me 'girl exposure' bravery...........

    are you ok ??
    Lisa xx

  31. BeLila should have a blog. He has things to offer this planet.

    In his profile he states, "Actually, if you really want to know the truth, I am God."

    BINGO !!!!!

    Now go look in a mirror....

  32. Snowbrush - Thanks!

    BBC - no offense, but if your nether bits haven't seen a washcloth with soap on it for a year, you are most likely in need of a wash.

    Debbie - I'm starting to reach "burn out" mode.

    Vinomom - I have a fresh box o' hootch, so it's certainly a good weekend here! Same back atcha!

    Momma - I'm completely blessed that I was given a Boom Boom quote. I LOVE it and thanks!

    BeLila - 1968, huh? That was the year I was born...

    BB - I have something for everyone here....

    Lisa - Glad you and the girls were a smash at the party. I'm doing just great, why do you ask?

    BBC - Huh? I think s/he should have a blog, too, but that's their business.

  33. Spring,

    Please come soon. We all need you very much. We are all fans of winter but only for so long. We need your bright sun shining face, your april showers and may flowers, your promise of new beauty. We are withering... please hurry!

    Sincerely, Jessi

  34. I don't think we should waste time and energy on people who are time wasters and drain us, be they family or not. Life's too *ing short. True friends will sustain us when we're old and alone - it's highly unlikely that family will be there to do that. Just my thoughts. I'll go back to my cornflakes now.

  35. I thought you were "finished" w/him from your last post or I wouldn't have left my long boring comment on the one before that, lol! Seriously, I do understand it, hon, and yes it sucks. Sorry. If he has kids, and your kids consider them cousins and they've played together and stuff, the kids might grow up one day feeling alone and apart from family. I know people who, because their parents couldn't get along w/family, were left out of knowing cousins and such and grew to resent it. But if he doesn't have any, then do what you need to do.

    I'm neither judging or validating your actions on this :)