Wednesday, November 5, 2008

People Make Me Feel Stabbity

The Evil Twin and I were up and out of the house early on Tuesday morning. We voted and the workers at our precinct (seem to be the same round up of characters) are so nice and helpful. We had a fast and good experience - even if I didn't get a sticker...


Then, we drove out to WalMart for the weekly shopping. Normally, this little affair would have taken place on Monday, but we had to wait TWO HOURS for new tires on Monday and there was no van to take food purchases to, even though we wasted our nearly two hours in the other WalMart on Monday. We took Sissy to look at the fishies, the Christmas displays and the toys.

We then walked across the lot to have lunch at Taco Bell. OMWord. I only have one thing to say about this: That Taco Bell will forever be seared in my mind as "The Hicks n Hollers Taco Bell". We're talking people with WV accents so thick, I couldn't understand them. Plus, which, it's hard to understand people who are missing all or a good portion of their teeth.

ANYWAY, we went to my favorite WalMart on Tuesday to do my weekly shopping. Everything went well. We were there fairly early and even if it WAS Tuesday (Senior Citizen's or "Elderly Hell" day), it wasn't so bad.

We finished up the shopping and chose a lane. I choose lanes not by how long they are, but by who is manning them. One lane was almost dead. The kid running the register looked to be about 12 years old and a new employee. No thank you!

So, we selected the lane with an older more "seasoned" looking clerk. And, she was great - quick, friendly and a champion bagger.

The problem arose when an "older" customer who was in a motorized cart decided she also wanted the seasoned employee.

Now, this was about 10 AM and there were plenty of lanes with NO action open. She could have chosen any of those. But no, she decided to get behind us.

I'm buying $100+ worth of groceries. We're gonna be in line a while, beyotch.

As is customary when the Evil Twin and I shop in tandem, he pushes the cart (full of heavy groceries and Sissy-poo) and I unload the minor items from the cart to put on the conveyor belt. If there's anything heavy-ish or bulky, the Evil Twin will lift those items up for the clerk to scan and then put them back in the cart.

Fine, fine. All is going as planned.

Then, I heard the lady in the scooter cart behind us say something to the ET. I couldn't really make it out, but I heard him say, "Give me a minute! Be patient!" and I thought he hadn't heard Old Bag of Shit behind him (because he is hard of hearing at his advanced age and all - plus, I don't think all those sinful rock n roll concerts he went to as a youngster helped any) and that he was admonishing Sissy, who has a way of harping for your attention EVERY.SINGLE.DINGLE.MINUTE.

I paid the clerk and we moved on. As we were leaving, he informed me that Old Bag of Shit had said, "Could you move her up?" Meaning, move the cart with Sissy in it up so SHE could get to the belt.

I'm just so glad she didn't say it to me. Because I would have gone postal on her old, stuck in a scooter ass.

Such is life. In real life, we wait in lines sometimes. We don't wait other times. It just is what it is.

If someone is impatient and wants to check out faster, find any of the myriad other lanes that were free and clear.

But don't give marching orders to MY family.

I wish I could find a video from the show "Yo Gabba Gabba": "You Gotta Wait Your Turn".


  1. You are preaching to the choir, sister! I have no patience for random rudeness....ET shoulda jammed up her wheels ;)

  2. I hate that too. If you want to see more people like that, go to the Patrick Street K-Mart on any Sat., but preferably in the summer. You'll see more flab there than anywhere else in the country.

  3. The solution was so simple and most likely in front of you. Grab any roll of tape that is in that impulse buy zone and turn the wheels on her scooter and tape the accerator on maximum. Then sit back and laugh as the old coot is driven off into the sunset by her motorized legs. Just my humble opinion.

  4. I have watched the Halloween episode of Yo Gabba Gabba at least 10 times since it aired last week! I do love that show.

  5. I have been amazed by the "scooter" crowds in WalMart here. It's almost like - as soon as their ass gets in the seat and they are powered up - they are Queens of the Aisles (or Kings)...I can't tell you how many times I have been bumped or nudged, with nary an "excuse me." Grrrr....I plan on being "Super Scooter Woman" when I earn my wheels.

  6. Laura - Grrr. It was astounding because there were plenty of empty lanes.

    kenju - I almost never to to Kmart and especially not that one. ::Shudder:: LOL.

    Ron - As people become more and more hateful, that will probably happen to her someday. One can only run their mouth for so long....

    Gigi - Sadly, I even look for videos of it on YouTube! (as if I don't get enough during the day).

  7. themom - LOL. The Evil Twin and I wondered if these people just become rude or if they were raised with no manners? It's a curious phenomenon.

  8. Jeeez- those people on those scooters are HORRIBLE! It's like they get a license to be assholes on those things!

  9. 1st...Ron...LMAO!

    Yeah....ordering anothers family around will seriously get your ass kicked....scooter or no scooter. My reaction woulda been 'F&%k Off'...but, thats pretty much my standard reaction to anything ;)

  10. Dang. Just because she can put her things on the conveyer belt sooner doesn't mean she will be able to leave any sooner. Traditionally, the second person in line doesn't get their items wrung up until the first person is done. But maybe we do things differently here.

    It's hilarious that he told her to be patient, though, as though she were a child. Since she was acting like one.

  11. And their butts are always twice as wide as the scooter. A food store is the last place they should be.

  12. Did she commence to ramming him in the ankles when he sassed her? That's what they'd do around here, then pretend to not notice they're ramming you.

  13. Oh man, don't get me started on people in those wheelchair things. I mean, some people really do need them, but others...

    I've done posts- no, books! on them before, riding along in those chairs, getting me to get this, that, the other, down from the shelves for them, doing their entire shopping for them, and I don't even know them. Letting them in front of me in checkout, only to wait forever for them to get thru their coupons then find a debit card that's still good to use. THEN after they return the Walmart chair in the portico entry, I watch them WALK to their car with barely a limp. Some taller than me standing up. Me rubbing my strained arm socket from pulling the last Ginger Ale off the top rack down for them...

    Gah! Yes, I feel your pain from such pee-pool! ;)

  14. Momma - "License to be assholes": GOOD ONE! I'm going to use that!

    Efen - Yeah, he should have said that!

    3C - I noticed that she was giving us the stink eye as we walked away!

    SRGreg - She was no exception to your observation.

    Tiff - No, but she did have a nasty look on her face. She probably would have if she was talking to a smaller person. LOL.

    Carolyn - it really pissed me off! The saddest part of it is that she only had a few items in her cart and I was going to let her ahead of us, initially, but I noticed the clerk had already started our groceries. To think I was going to be nice to her when she was just an impatient butthole with us makes me even angrier. LOL.

  15. I'm with Efen... I probably would have said those magic words "Fuck off" to her, too.

    I'm telling you guys... Fucking old people.

  16. Scooter people piss me off as well..I'm surprised she didn't ask to go ahead of you!

  17. We call those little scooters "Tart Carts"--seems fitting, don't you think? I also love the word stabbity. It seems like something Hello Kitty would say. Sort of a cute way to say "I want to kill you!" I love it.

  18. All I have to say is that I'm soooo gonna use the word "stabbity" today. That rocks! I'm finally catching up on my reading/writing today, I've missed reading your blog!