Thursday, November 13, 2008

A Moldy Oldie

The greatest thing about kids is that they are the Kings or Queens of the one-liners. It's not worth visiting a comedy club if you have children. The kiddos are MUCH funnier, even if they don't mean to be.

For this one, I think I'm going to go back into Buddy's toddler-hood and share a few stories that really cracked me up.

In the Summer of 2001, Buddy was 3 and a half. In the hottest point of July, I had to run out and do a few errands. When I came home, my entire shirt was soaking wet from the humidity and sweat. (, huh?)

So I decided to change into a plain white t-shirt and completely remove my underwire bra while I cooled off a bit. During the changing process, I was shirtless, braless and leaning over my shirt drawer of the dresser when Buddy came charging into the room.

He screamed, "Mommy, what's that? That, right there?" as he pointed at my naked breasts.

I looked behind me and asked, "What?"

Buddy said, "Those right there! Are those your penises?"

Later, I told the Evil Twin that if my tits looked that bad, I was in worse shape than I had imagined.

I had to give the kid credit for proper pluralization of the word "penis", though.

Another time, he was about 4-ish and in preschool. When he wasn't in school on Monday, Wednesday and Friday from noon to 2:30, we liked to watch Sesame Street together.

One episode featured Grover in Nicaragua showcasing how adobe bricks were made. The men and boys working on the bricks were clad in only shorts.

I mean, it's hot there in Nicaragua and those people do lots of physical work!

After a few minutes of watching the activity, Buddy turned to me and said, "Mommy, I know why they call that place Naked Agua - because those people are half-naked!"

Happy Naked Water Day!


  1. Oh man, penises...that's got to bruise your ego. lol Does Naked Agua make you get naked? If so, I'll take some naked water! :)

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  3. Kids say the darndest things! :)

  4. Thanks for starting my day off with some serious laughter. Great stories!

  5. I've heard of chicks with dicks, but I never knew it meant tits. Maybe I'll have to go back and click on those websites after all...

  6. Heee-larious! I think he is rather creative AND smart!!

  7. You just improved my mood so much, that was hysterical. I love it when kids, so innocent, speak their minds. It's priceless. Have a great day.

  8. OMGosh! Too funny! My kids call their breasts, "Mosquitos"!! ;)-

  9. Honeywine - LOL. I don't know about getting naked, but the Evil Twin and I still say Naked Agua if Nicaragua comes up (not often).

    Hacksaw - It's like my own comedy club.

    Gigi - he was the funniest kid! Now, he's my sullen teenager (but still pretty funny).

    Ron - Don't do iiiitttt!!

    MsPulp - I'm sure your three keep you in stitches - especially with pet grapes and all....

    The Girl - It's almost always a laugh riot around here (the nuthouse! LOL).

    TGG - I used to call mine "mosquito bites". LOL. Then I had a couple of kids and "matured".

  10. I can't believe he called your breasts penis's!!!! Where would he have gotten that from!? LOL

  11. A post about boobs!!! ETW....maybe you've been on my site too much ;)

    Very funny tho........... :)

  12. Naked agua. I love it.

    My son cracks up whenever he sees the high school soccer players practicing "shirts against skins". He laughs and says "They forgot their shirts!" :)

  13. Oh, Lord. Out of the mouths of babes!

    Those were too funny.

  14. If they WERE penises, that right there is a pretty good reason to never leave the house.

    More stories!

  15. My little nephew used to call binoculars... "bin-arp-ulars."

    My little brother used to call firetruck- "firefruck."

    They do say the funniest things. Start a journal and write that stuff down...

  16. Sabrae - I don't know unless any hanging appendages were penises in his mind??

    Efen - you're just getting started here. For real shits and giggles, look in the archive: June post titled "Haterz". You can thank me later.

    3C - It's just so funny to hear how kids interpret situations.

    kenju - yep, Buddy is my comedian.

    Ginger - I'm still laughing about both of them 6 and 7 years later! LOL.

    Tiff - good point! I got a million funny kid sayings, as I'm sure you do too!

  17. JFab - Yep. Buddy called caterpillars "callapitters". So cute!

  18. LMAO. It seems everything I've thought of to write in response to penis/breast is totally inappropriate. Even more than normal, I mean.

  19. BB - you are one amazing woman. I'm surprised you held back!

  20. That was great. I LOL'd at penises and I don't do that alot...usually more of a silent snicker when I read something funny.

    I love to steal blog ideas and I'm totally trying to remember funny crap my kid says to have something to write about :)

  21. Last week The Peanut piped up with "I like my nipples!" She's 28 Mos.