Friday, March 2, 2007

It Didn't Scar Me For Life

I have had a thoroughly interesting evening! We did manage to make it to the Fish Fry at Buddy's school/our church. We went super early and it was really tasty! Yum.

Then we got a phone call from a friend of ours. He runs Random Intelligence blog -- over there on the right. Check him out. He's a great guy. Anyway, he had been out to see a movie and wanted to stop by and drop something off he had for the Evil Twin. It was a poster from the movie "Black Snake Moan", but I'll let him tell you all about that.

He was here for a bit and we got to talking. Somehow the talk turned to various disgusting/funny things that we had done or experienced in life. Our friend Random is quite a bit younger than us, so we can share our experiences of living in the 60s (The Evil Twin - I was born in 68, so no memories from me), 70s and 80s.

In 1978, I was 10 years old and my family lived in Doraville, GA. My Aunt Faye was visiting and she and my mom decided they wanted to go to the Treasure Island and shop around. Treasure Island is/was like a KMart. My friend and I wanted to go, too. While my mom and aunt shopped for clothes and tried things on, us girls went to the back of the store where they had a little pet area. They sold fish, hamsters, gerbils... We were looking at the hamsters. There were two cages of them, one stacked on top of the other off to the side and I was kneeling down looking into the bottom cage.

A young man, probably 19 or 20, came over and started talking to us. He had on those basketball style shorts. They were red with white piping. Of course, those were really in style at the time. As he was talking he shifted his weight and swung his left arm and hand in front of his crotch. I heard him say, "Ooops." and his whole meat and potatoes fell right out the side of those shorts!! Remember, I am kneeling down, so this spectacle was EYE level for me. My friend and I were disgusted, but we started laughing because we were embarrassed. We tried to act like we hadn't noticed.

He proceeded to put his junk back in his shorts and pull the whole routine AGAIN. Including the ubiquitous, "Ooops", as if it were an accident. At that moment, I nudged my friend and gave her a look like "Let's leave.", so we took off. Well, Mr. Meat and Potatoes started following us. We couldn't find my mom and he was right behind us. I got upset and started crying (remember, I was only 10). At this point, he says, "Don't cry, girls, I won't hurt you." :::Shiver:::

A few moments later (which seemed like an eternity) we saw my mom and aunt. I told my mom that there was a man in the store with "his weiner hanging out." As we checked out, my mom told the clerk that there was a man exposing himself to young girls and that was that. We just left.

Fast forward 13 years, I met the Evil Twin. He just so happened to have a pair of those basketball style shorts. I don't know if he was just hanging onto them from his high school days or what. These were white with blue piping and I believe they had "Florida" written on the left side. I made him throw them in the trash. I mean, honestly, those things had to have been 20 years old!!!!

I laugh about this story today and I laugh when I tell it, but it was very frightening. There are just so many sickos in this old world and really, back in 1978, you didn't hear about it like you do today. I guess the guy did give me something to talk about, if nothing else. So, Mr. Weiner Man, if you're reading this, thanks for the chuckle.


  1. Some of us at work were talking the other day about how bad things are now days. That the weird stuff that happens now didn't happen as much then. But then again, maybe it did.

    I still don't remember any kids in the town I grew up in or the neighboring towns just disappearing like they do now. Back then we also didn't have 24 hour news networks covering every fart that is released in public.

  2. Ummm, those shorts had green piping (not blue), with a green palm tree and the word "Florida" written in really cheesy script face. Those were my best white trash shorts, and I loved embarassing you while wearing them in the summertime to wash the car or mess around the house. Of course, my meat & potatoes often fell out while performing my various household chores as well, only you never heard my "oooops."