I have some readers who never comment and just send email and a few who comment infrequently, but mostly email. That is fine with me. I like getting email (and comments - comment whore, remember??)
Anyhoodle, I received this email recently from one of my readers asking for advice. He said that I could share it with my response and perhaps get some different perspectives from my dear readers, too.
Dear Evil Twins Wife (in the tune of Dear Abby),
There are two women in my life right now that I feel really strongly about and am fairly certain I am in love with. One is a co-worker. We have a kind of a "special" thing going. I stop by her office and we chat, we flirt, we share stories. She spills her heart out and I listen. We meet in the hall way and exchange cute smiles, a nod and a wink at times. She's single, sweet, and lovely.
The other woman I know via a mutual interest. We exchange emails. She recently had me over for dinner (with other friends), but she's shy and a strong personality. We have feelings, I can tell just by the way she looks at me, the fact that she emails me personal stuff where calls me a special friend. We have coffee from time to time. We sometimes spend hours emailing back and forth. She's single, sweet and lovely.
I am equally fascinated and intrigued with both women.
Now for the hairy part. I'm in a committed relationship and they both know it. But I love hanging out with my co-working buddy and my mutual interest buddy. These women energize me and get my juices running again. My heart skips a beat when I hear from them.
What is going on? Why do I have these feelings? What should I do?
XXXX in the Midwest
And my response:
Dear XXXX in the Midwest,
In my opinion, if you've been in a long term committed relationship for a while, everyone likes to feel attractive and wanted. And having that might be a harmless flirting relationship with a friend, co-worker, email buddy, etc. It's a real ego boost, plus when those "first love" feelings fade, some of us want to feel those "butterflies" again.
That being said, I think that if you want to STAY with your long term commitment, then be very careful of crossing the line with your two lovely friends. FRIENDS. Not booty calls or anything like that. Men and women can maintain a platonic relationship (IMO).
This is just from my point of view. The Evil Twin and I don't have any problems with harmless flirting. We know we're like barnacles to each other - neither of us is going any place. We're stuck on for life. After all, I don't think we'd ever find any one else who would put up with us! LOL.
So, anyone have other advice for my friend XXXX here? Am I way off base? Don't be shy! Leave it in the comments section.