I sometimes get a feeling, somewhat like this:
But I know I'm not, well, I'm pretty sure I'm not forgetting anything. Like many OCD types, I write lists. I have lists for lists and I have different notebooks for different lists. I know exactly where to check to see if I'm neglecting something.
This is more of a feeling like maybe I forgot to write something on one of the lists. Which really just boils down to the same problem I'm saying I don't have in the first place.
Fuck me running!!
Even if I have items on the "to-do" lists, at least I know they're there. I'm just being lazy and procrastinating. I can handle that aspect about my quirks, but it's the feeling "at odds" that there is something. something really important that is just not coming to me that really gets my anxiety all ramped up to eleventy billion.
I mean, how can I concentrate when I have a nagging feeling of "undoneness" in the Universe? The answer is: I can't.
My weekend is already full and that, my hooligans, is a post for a different day (YES! I have a list of blog ideas, even! and it's getting looooonnnnggg. Prepare to die of boredom! Mwahahahaha) -- but perhaps I can spend a few moments cross referencing all my lists, calendars, data bases and everything else I use to manage my pathetic stay at home mom lifestyle to see if something IS falling through the cracks.
It could be something as simple as a spot on the carpet in a bedroom I keep noticing and meaning to write on a list, but then forget to list it and then I see it again and think, "Shit! There's that stain. Need to put that on the "to-do" list." Then, I walk out of the room, have to pee, see something dirty on the kitchen counter, get a phone call, decided to fix a cup of coffee and we all see where this is going...that stain never makes it to a list.
I should just safety pin a piece of paper on my shirt and then wear a pen around my neck on yarn, so I always have a handy way of noting things as I go. Then, I'd leave the house looking like that and the other moms at Sissy's school pick up line would be wondering..."Why does that freaky tattooed mom have a pen around her neck and a slip of paper that says 'Clean stain on bedroom carpet' underlined 5 times? She's weirder than we suspected!"
Might keep 'em on their toes, though, huh? I enjoy things like that.
Well, my hooligans, 'tis Thursday and I hope you enjoy yours. I've got a full day lined up (imagine that), so you'll get more blather tomorrow. Same bat time, same bat channel. God willing and the crick don't rise!