I was thinking the other day (oh no!) about some of the phrases or sayings that I use.
One of my all time favorites is if I see someone exceedingly unattractive, I might say, "Man, S/he is uglier than a bag of assholes. With all the pretty ones taken out."
Or, "S/he's dumber than a box of rocks."
Another insulting phrase I use: "I wouldn't piss in his/her mouth if their teeth were on fire."
And: "S/he thinks she's hot shit on a silver platter, but really, s/he's just a cold turd on a paper plate."
"Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit!" (I'm not exactly sure what that one means, but it sounds funny).
Line from a John Waters movie if I smell something yucky: "Find that odor and eliminate it!"
Line I use on my kids when they whine about wanting things: "Well, people in hell want ice water, too."
I learned most of these growing up and I use them often. What are some of your special sayings?
And also, I only have one submission for secrets for tomorrow. I'll post just that one and come up with some more asinine stuff to blather about. If you want to send one, my email is firstname.lastname@example.org. Maybe I'll even bring the girls out for the weekend. Nothing like a couple of breasts right before Thanksgiving! (no promises, though).