Saturday, November 17, 2007

Mischief and Merriment

I was prodded to do this particular blog by Buzzardbilly and since she suggested it, I figured it might make for an interesting topic.

Before I met the Evil Twin, I dated a guy who lived in town here, while I was in college at Marshall in Huntington, so I'd come home on weekends and spend them with him. One weekend, he and I and a small band of our motley friends went to a movie, then to Captain Ds to grab a bite to eat. One guy had ordered the deluxe platter that came with a deviled crab. He didn't really want it, so we took a coupla french fries and broke them in half (making four half pieces) and planted them in the crabcake middle, so they created "legs". Then, we took ketchup and made little dot eyes. We named him Russell and took him grocery shopping on our way home.

We ended up leaving Russell on a shelf in the cereal aisle - certain that whoever discovered him would find him every bit as fun as we had. Well, we had quite a laugh that evening thinking of the night crew finding Russell and what Russell might be smelling like after a few hours being "out". This little excursion lit my fire for more random mayhem.

By the time I met the Evil Twin (who is on the same mental maturity level as myself) and we put our brains together, we had all sorts of fun tricks up our sleeves. Our main one involved fake grocery lists. This one was simple, cheap (free) and brilliant. We'd start by jotting an actual list of regular items, like bread and milk. Then, we'd add things like "a douche for my smelly twat" and "preparation h for my burning 'roids", you know, things of that nature. 14 condoms, enema (Fleet brand), 7 packs of butt wipe, cockroach traps.... The more random or disgusting, the better.

We'd do our shopping and conveniently leave the list on a shelf in a pretty open area, so it would be sure to be found. Then, we'd imagine the looks on the face of who ever found it and read it. Would they take it home and show their spouse? Because if you found such a list, wouldn't you assume that it was someone's TRUE list?

There was one other time when we threw a pink dildo on the sidewalk of a busy downtown area. That's been about 15 years ago and we still laugh about that one. Cause, y'all, SOMEONE had to clean it up. I imagine some really disgusted state maintenance employee with a coupla sticks or one of those long "grabber" type things.

I never said that The Evil Twin and I were mature.


  1. Pretty funny stuff.

    I'm glad someone at least is around on the weekend. Pretty lonely and bored over here.

  2. LOL. The one item that stuck in my mind over the years as a "12 oz. bag of Cool Ranch Sphincter Rings"

    I always wondered if there was some poor soul out there going "were they made of sphincter or just made to look like sphincter"

  3. LOL....the most I ever did was once when I was being initiated into a sorority, I had to go into a pharmacy and ask for an acetabulum and a scapula. The pharmacist never cracked a smile and handed me a brown bag of something and charged me for it. When I got back outside, the girls with me opened the bag and it was a box of condoms. I know that's tame compared to your stuff - but -it WAS 1958!

  4. LOL! You are wild!! I like you ;D

    One time I saran wrapped the toilet in my bosses bathroom, then put the seat down over it. It's hard to see it if you don't wrinkle the wrap. When he went to pee-- there was some backsplash onto his pants and a lot of cursing! Everyone was laughing so hard he couldn't tell which one of us did it, and no one told him. It had been long coming anyway for all the pranks he'd pulled on us ;D

  5. Awesome.

    I think the worst i've ever don't is play "beep and wave."

    It's funny if you know the rules. :>

  6. I thought I was wild as a youngster when we would go the a kiss-your-ass curve on the outskirts of town and to hubcapping...then run like crazy if someone stopped.

  7. That's hilarious! I needed a good laugh on Monday morning and this was it!!!

  8. I think you might be a rationally warped individual, but that is okay.