Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Thinking About Co-Workers

I wrote about my friend and her first crappy job out of college and crappy boss. Then, over at Preposterous Ponderings, she wrote about Funky Face, which made me recall a certain person I worked with at my first crappy job out of college.

I had a crappy boss lady too, but luckily (?!?), I didn't have much day to day dealings with her as I was just lowly "support staff".

Now, let me just say that this job was a non-profit corporation, who I will no longer have dealings with because of their business practices (Okay, I'll tell, it was the Girl Scout Council).

Being that it was Girl Scout's, they didn't employ dudes, except one fat, socially backwards guy in the mail room who always smelled like dirty butt. I digress...

My main point is that it was all women up there and most of them were of the manly sort. I have lots of gay and lesbian friends, so I certainly don't care what anyone's sexual orientation is, but it just seemed fishy (pun intended) that so many of the gals up there were super butch. All with the super short hair and pantsuits, and little to no make up... it was all very strange.

My immediate supervisor was a particularly manish looking sort and she also had really bad breath. In addition to these unfortunate qualities, she also spit on you when she spoke. We started calling her "Spit Monster".

If Spit Monster used your phone, the next time you picked it up, bad breath fumes were radiating from your mouthpiece. I mean, I could smell it from a distance. Myself and other co-workers started keeping individual alcohol wipes at our desks, so we could swab the phones. We said it was for hygiene reasons (germs), but really it was because our phones had been be-funked.

My next door cube mate had a daughter who was about 4 at the time and would visit the office from time to time. Spit Monster was leaning down to say something to her and she looked up at her mom and said, "Mommy, he got me all wet." HE. See, even little kids can pick out a Pat.

And the moral of today's story is: try to always work for a man. They're much easier to get along with.


  1. Hey, The girl scouts was the only place that would hire me at the time and I'm working on that social thing, sheesh.

  2. Ron - you kill me. No, I've seen pics of you and next to that guy, you're a Supermodel. And, his name wasn't Ron, either. LOL!!!!

  3. I've always thought men were easier to work for - but maybe that was because I am a female.

  4. Yeah, I think guys are easier to work for too. I've worked for quite a few BEASTLY women in my day. One particular woman in Milton WV SMACKED ME. Yes, I had to quit and press charges. Lovely huh?

  5. Ewwww! Ewwwww! Ewwwwwwwww!!!!! Spit monster!!!!! Ewwwwwwwwww!!!!!

    I used to work for someone just like her at the DMV. OMG, grosssssss!!!! I would actually wipe my phone down with something if she ever used it. And her teeth... *gag! They looked like baked beans!!!!

    Damn, I thought that was all good and repressed!!!!

  6. I used to be a volunteer for Girl Scouts and I KNOW THE SPIT MONSTER!!!

    Hahahaha!!! What a small world it is...

    Oh is a medal. You deserve it!

  7. Like Rebecca, such a vivid and vile flood of memories have come rushing over me!

    Worst for me was the one I worked for when I was living with Twisted Shit. She used get to the office at 10 every day (we opened at 8 or 9), then she'd leave for an appointment (hair, nails, electrolysis (sp?) for her mustache and chipmunk cheeks). Then she'd come back and take an hour for lunch in her office. Then she'd gossip with people while doling her work out for others to do. Then she'd leave early because of traffic.

    I hated her.

  8. I forgot to say that her little bit of time at the office was spent making my life a living hell. Well, everyone's lives really. She made all of the Indian programmers pick new names for themselves because she couldn't remember or pronounce theirs. Then she'd mispronounce their nickname.

    She also told them when it was time to bathe.

  9. BB -- How do people get through life being that self-absorbed? I mean, fate usually has this way of knocking us all down a few notches on a pretty regular basis. How do some people remain so full of themselves?

    Not being a smartass... I'm dead serious. I don't understand how people can live in this world and be humans and not at some point get the message that the world doesn't revolve around them.

  10. Call me sexist, but I HATE working for women. They are all threatened and crap whenever you do something better than they could. My guy bosses were always just glad for the help.

    I hope I never act like then when I am someone's woman boss (later, much later).

    On the plus side, I do not spit on people and I am scrupulously good-smelling at work.

  11. I have had female bosses in the past. Two, in fact.

    One was a bank VP, and I adored her.

    The other was a pastor. I'm quite certain she was posessed by Satan Himself.

    As a female boss, I try to channel the Bank VP, rather than the psycho preacher.

    I keep gum and germ gel on my desk - and use both liberally.

    I encourage my employees to follow suit - as they see fit.

  12. Rebecca, I'm going to answer that question on my blog because it would be way too long for here.