Thursday, March 10, 2011

Fun at the Mart

Oh, joy, joy! I had to visit the Mart again today. I had forgotten to pick up a couple of things on Mr. D's list and our list was piling up again already. What can I say? I've got a 13 year old boy who enjoys eating and a 5 year old daughter who is a big fan of the snax.

Also, my glasses needed a new left lens. The first one was too strong. My lens was in, and while I was out and about, I hit the Mart. In the pouring rain. I hate driving and even less so when the weather is craptastic. I white knuckled it about town and now I have a massive headache.

If I had placed a piece of coal in my ass, it would be the Hope Diamond by now.

Good news: I made it home in one (wet) piece and my glasses are AWESOME at assisting my vision now. I don't even care that the Evil Twin now calls me "Mawmaw". He's been wearing progressive lenses for years now, so he became a crusty old "Pawpaw" waaaaay before I needed glasses to read. LOL! Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, bro!

Anyhoodle, I went by the Mart - as disgusted as I was with the weather and the fact that I read an article yesterday that most shopping cart handles have fecal matter on them...I'm already OCD about my hands. I did NOT need to read that. I better just buy stock in hand sanitizer now. Gag!

While tooling about the gross Mart (the one I hate shopping in, but it was closer to the eye docs place), I saw this little gem:

Hello? Are people so lazy/busy today they have to squirt applesauce down their gullets on the go? Seriously?

This is almost as ridiculous as the "crush cup" yogurts. I mean, my own husband had to use a plastic drinking straw that he pilfered from the kitchen at his office to spread chicken salad on his bread after I forgot to add a disposable plastic utensil for chicken salad spreading (I pack the chicken salad and bread separately, so the bread doesn't get all soggy). That's ingenuity for ya!

Afterwards, he sent me a kind text message to thank me for my oversight. I thank my lucky stars that he is smarter than the average bear. He didn't have to resort to dipping the bread into the container like he was having hummus and pitas. Although, I'm sure he would have resorted to that before just lapping up the chicken salad with his tongue and then taking a bite of bread.

Sorry this is a late update, but what can ya do when life gets in the way? You just have a happy Thursday, hooligans and I'll see ya tomorrow!



  1. The squeeze Applesauce is made to hook up to an IV so that it's possible to eat while sleeping. It's for those dedicated to snacking full time.

  2. Gosh you're a real gem when your arsey.

    I just hope your hubby appreciates you what with making his lunch and all.

    Good news about your glasses.Now you'll be able to see that fecal matter.

  3. I'm generally not a fan of the on the go food/snacks, but I will stop here and defend that lil squeezable applesauce. It is my new best friend. I have a 3 year old and she loves it! It is healthy, easy and non messy. Not to mention fun.

  4. I had a comment,s a deleted it, because the whole 'text your wife when she's forgotten your spoon' thing is...


    Glad your glasses are working!

  5. I've seen the applesauce tubes. I've almost purchased them and mailed them to one of my friends.

    I send her ALL of the weird stuff that I find while shopping. :)

  6. that made me laugh. the lazy comment.