Friday, June 18, 2010

Friday Secrets June 18

It's FRIDAY! None of the secrets are mine, but the mystery picture is, since I didn't receive an anonymous picture this week. Y'all get on that, okay?

1. I'm Jewish and I used to be embarrassed about my love of bacon when i was a kid. It's why I don't go to temple any more.

2. I'm sad because I don't love my wife anymore. I did my best to keep the marriage together but she made no effort. Now it's over and she doesn't realize it.

3. I am so damn lonely.

4. I don't see the appeal of sushi.

5. I love being out on the dance floor and feeling an anonymous cock rubbing against my tight skirt.

6. I went to an AA meeting high off of pot brownies once.

7. I once had a long, secret relationship with a married woman. She was a great person and we had a lot of fun together. I miss her a lot.

8. I haven't gone down on my wife in years.  Come to think of it, I don't bring her flowers anymore, either.

9. I'm jealous of black people because they can grow Afros.

10. I'm an emophobe.  But I secretly listen to the Get Up Kids. And My Chemical Romance.

11. I don't understand the appeal of the whole 72 virgins thing that Muslims believe in.  I'd rather have one well traveled pirate whore.

The itty bitty sundress:


Happy Friday, hooligans!

20 comments:

  1. To summarize...I love bacon, hate sushi, and will go down on damn near any chick. I guess that makes me a pirate who is a whore.

    Nice picture. They look like happy boobies. I guess that makes them, Hoobies. Cheers ETW!!

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  2. I LOVE #11, LOLOL, so funny! Seriously, 72 virgins DOES sound like you'd be doing a lot of coaching.

    Happy Friday :-)

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  3. why do so many people not love their wives/husbands?

    i think it's a lack of sexual adventurness. i make my girlfriend play a sexxy game of dungeons and dragons. and that's adventure time!

    she wants to LARP but i'm not *THAT* much of a nerd...

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  4. LOL @ the 72 virgins things as well!!

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  5. I like sushi for many reasons but one of my favorite parts is the faces that folks around me make when I stick it in my mouth!

    I don't get the virgin thing either..although 72...hmmmm

    #9...hmmm...there is more to say about that but I think I won't...

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  6. 12. I had to look up emophobe.

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  7. Sushi is awesome, as are pirate whores and boob shots. Yay Friday!

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  8. ah, how i love reading you on fridays....

    can you at least tell me where the cock-rubbing chick likes to go dancing?

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  9. #5, I love being in a crowded restaurant, mall, state fair ... you name it ... and feeling an anonymous breast rubbing up against my arm! And #11, I'm a card carrying (honest to goodness) Wench - is that close enough to a well traveled pirate whore?

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  10. #9, why not ask a bunch of negros for their pubes and you can make a merkin?!

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  11. #3 i'm sorry, i hope you find something that helps. i've been there, and still revisit that place from time to time. it's not fun.

    three, er, two cheers for itty bitty sundresses!

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  12. Nice dress!!!!!!! #9......LMAO!

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  13. 9. My hairdresser friend could do a fro with your hair, hair dye, permanent solution and itty bitty roller rods.

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  14. charlene i have baby-fine hair. it can't work.

    it makes me so sad.

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  15. #1. Mmm. Bacon.

    #2. Sorry, Dude.

    #3. You should introduce yourself to #2.

    #4. I'm right there with you.

    #5. If you ever feel a large belly rubbing up on your backside, it is me trying to be that anonymous guy - unfortunately, I have a "dicky-do" belly.

    #6. You might want to add NA into the mix there.

    #7. Was she #2's wife?

    #8. If you see #2's or #7's car in your driveway, you might check the vase for flowers. If there aren't any there, they were taking care of the other thing.

    #9. And that whole long wiener thing too, I guess.

    #10. Now all you need is some black clothes and a weird hairdo.

    #11. No kiddin'. And really, can you just imagine the amount of hugging and cuddling and pillow talk required after having to deal with 72 virgins. I'd turn gay. Like #8.

    Itty bitty sundress: The sundress may be itty bitty...

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  16. So you didn't get my picture of me with the thong, ball gag and nipple clamps????

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  17. So you didn't get my picture of me with the thong, ball gag and nipple clamps????

    Ron, I sent one just like that, too. Maybe she was overwhelmed.

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