Friday, June 11, 2010

Friday Secrets June 11

I received many secrets this week. I'm also flattered that Matt-Man totally pimped me out yesterday. I think that is chock full of AWESOMESAUCE - and I hope it will help lure encourage others into sending in a secret or two!

1. I fantasize about a threesome with Evil Twin's Wife quite a bit. Sometimes the third party is a woman, sometimes the third party is a man. No matter the arrangement, it's always a hot and juicy time.

2. Sometimes, if there's a very long line at a store and I only have one or two small items I'll walk out without paying.   I figure that tax incentives and short-changing employees makes up for the $4 or $5 losses due to shrinkage that I cause.

3. I once turned down a bj so I could watch DragonBall Z.  I was 26.

4. I've done the "magician" sex move... that's where you pull out, spit on the girl's butt and then when she turns over you blast in her face.

5. I recently got my cock pierced - a frenum piercing (  This piercing supposedly makes sex better for both parties (different rubbing sensation for me, two little massaging balls to rub against some fun parts for her).  A big part of the reason I got it, though, was to prove to myself that I could actually go forward with it.  Of equal importance, to see if I can refrain from masturbating for two weeks (some sort of holy mission, I guess, on my part).

6. Sometimes when I first wake up I'll pee in the sink. I think it's a lot less messy than the wild sprayhose pee that you get first thing in the morning.

7. I don't understand men who don't live by the creed of "It's better to give than receive".  In all honesty I get off more on giving a woman oral sex than receiving it.  And guys who finish before their woman?  I don't get that either.  I love giving a woman an orgasm and feel like I've "failed" if she doesn't.

8. I wish you cared enough to fight for me.  Since you don't, whatever we had is over.

9. I had a girl-on-girl experience when I was a young was totally hot and I still think about it more than 20 years later.  Funny thing is, I "friended" her on Facebook after seeing her on a mutual friend's list, and she accepted me.  We had lost track of each other over the years and I wasn't even sure she'd remember me, let alone add me.  It just got me to thinking about whether or not she remembers the fun we had exploring back then.  I don't think I want to ask her about it, although I've considered it.  I mean, you don't just forget something like that, do you?  We are both married now, to men, LOL, but mmmmmm, I love the memory of our afternoon together. 

10. Last summer a friend set me up with a guy named Adam.  He was a great guy, but we didn't have a love connection.  We did however remain friends and we meet up once a month or so for dinner or drinks.  Last week Adam told me about a new girl he was dating whom he met at the gym, Rebecca.  He showed me a picture of them on his phone and she is my sister-in-law Rebecca!  I nearly died, but I didn't say anything to him.  For 8 days I haven't told a soul.  I know it would kill my brother and I am thinking of confronting her, but I don't know how.  I have no idea what to do.

11. I'm in love.

I didn't receive a mystery photo for this week. I do have some ideas, so we'll see what I can make happen NEXT Friday. Until then, Happy Friday, hooligans!


  1. I'm right there with Number 7. I live one by one solid rule: The woman ALWAYS comes first...and often.

    Number 11? I think that's cute.

    I'm happy to pimp ya out anytime ETW. Have a wunnerful weekend. Cheers!!

  2. It must be my mood today...I think #11 is my favorite. Short, sweet and to the point!

    @#8-Better to realize this now then later. Whoever you deserve someone who will protect you, fight for you, and love you unconditianlly!

  3. Magician Sex Move? Totally Foul.

    Lots of great sexxxxy secrets this week!

    The one about the SIL ? That is crazy. Talk about a small world!? I would definitely confront her.

  4. I'm completely in-line with #7 as well. I feel, if she doesn't "get there", my partner is just some really complex sex-toy.

  5. 1 - you're not alone
    2 - too damn risky
    3 - what are you, nuts?
    4 - How many of these girls do you get with twice?
    5 - Ow, ow, ow!
    6 - Lets never be room mates mmkay? 7 - I'm with you brotha
    8 - I'm a lover not a fighter
    9 - Ask her!!!
    10 - Sticky. Tell Adam what's up and hope he has the moral fiber to back off.
    11 - Me too!

  6. If #10 doesn't at least tell her friend that the great new woman he's dating i married, then there's a real problem. Come on, do you want him to get deeper into what could be a really difficult situation?

  7. Great bunch of secrets this week! I have to say, #4 doesn't sound too magical to me.

  8. Love how #2 rationalizes stealing from a small business owner.

    I've never hear of the "magician" sex move. I need to get out more I guess.

    #3 You preferred Dragon Ball Z over a blow job? Hmm .. I would think you could have both. haha

  9. #3 must have been with the one woman who could be said gave a bad BJ. You know, cause EVERY man tells EVERY woman who gives him a BJ that "you're the best I've ever had!"

    #4 only has sex with drunk girls and no he never gets asked back cause even a drunk woman figures out why her ass hurts.

    #6, that's just fine as long as it's your sink and you clean your sink!

    #7 is a tease. I bet he gets you down and 2 minutes he's done, or he treats your clit like a chew toy! OK, I'm a cynic.

  10. What is Dragon Ball Z? Must be something REALLY good to forgo a BJ.

  11. i'm #3.

    I would have had to drive across town. No way.

  12. I am quite a fan of body piercings in sensitive places - male and female - and I think #5 should be your mystery photo in 2 weeks :) In fact, he may have inspired me to get a piercing I've been coveting for quite some time ...

  13. OK.... 2, 3, and 6 totally confuse me.... I mean really???

  14. #1. Who doesn't?
    #2. You are a thief.
    #3. 26 and stupid.
    #4. That's funny in the same way it would be funny to fart while someone rims you, but not very nice.
    #5. I shrivel just thinking about it.
    #6. When I was in the military living in a dorm with the restrooms down the hall, I peed in the sink in my room. That's why they make Clorox spray.
    #7. Braggart.
    #8. Good for you.
    #9. She knows. Let us know next Friday what happens.
    #10. What if your brother knows already? MYOB as Ann Landers says.
    #11. Yay!

  15. Some of the comments here are funnier than the secrets.