It's FRIDAY! None of the secrets are mine, but the mystery picture is, since I didn't receive an anonymous picture this week. Y'all get on that, okay?
1. I'm Jewish and I used to be embarrassed about my love of bacon when i was a kid. It's why I don't go to temple any more.
2. I'm sad because I don't love my wife anymore. I did my best to keep the marriage together but she made no effort. Now it's over and she doesn't realize it.
3. I am so damn lonely.
4. I don't see the appeal of sushi.
5. I love being out on the dance floor and feeling an anonymous cock rubbing against my tight skirt.
6. I went to an AA meeting high off of pot brownies once.
7. I once had a long, secret relationship with a married woman. She was a great person and we had a lot of fun together. I miss her a lot.
8. I haven't gone down on my wife in years. Come to think of it, I don't bring her flowers anymore, either.
9. I'm jealous of black people because they can grow Afros.
10. I'm an emophobe. But I secretly listen to the Get Up Kids. And My Chemical Romance.
11. I don't understand the appeal of the whole 72 virgins thing that Muslims believe in. I'd rather have one well traveled pirate whore.
The itty bitty sundress:
Happy Friday, hooligans!