Sunday, August 26, 2007

I Hate Fruit Flies

Sorry for those of you who read my MySpace blog, this is a rehash, but I am still being plagued by these tiny pests.

The Evil Twin and I have this long-running gag involving fruit flies. I don't know how it started, but it's been about 13 years ago and I said "Yuck, there are fruit flies all around that plant." and he said, "Those are gnats. Fruit flies are bigger." No, I told him, those are fruit flies.

Well, somehow the "argument" became so funny and all about how many times we could say "fruit flies" (cause let's face it, that's funny, I don't care who you are).

He went to Big Bear around my birthday that year and wanted to get me a cake that said, "Happy Birthday, Fruit Fly" and he and the cake lady got to talking about fruit flies. She confirmed MY take, in that they are small, like gnats, but are not gnats. I might have to do some online research regarding gnats and fruit flies because we didn't have internet service until about 12 years ago.

Do I have a purpose to this blog, you may be asking yourself at this point? Why, yes, yes, I do! That purpose being that Buddy has a trash can in his room. It has a little pop up lid on it. Apparently, he's been throwing apple cores and other half eaten snacks into it. ET hasn't changed it in a long while, so yesterday, Owen told me he opened his trash can lid and about 10 flies came out of it.

I said, Yuck! Like big flies? and he said, no - fruit flies. Ooookay! Grody. Now that he's let the plethora of nasty fruit flies out of his trash can, they have invaded the house. I think I'm going to leave a platter of wine out tonight, because they seem intently interested in committing hari-kari in my wine glass.

I refuse to drink dead, water (wine)-logged fruit flies. I'm not that hardcore. Sure, I've got three tats and 12 ear piercings and don't mind other forms of mortifying my body (can you say traditional English corset?), but I draw the line at eating bugs. I don't even like meat that much.

If you have any fruit fly riddance remedies, let me know. They must be environmentally safe because I can't spray or use anything poisonous or harmful to breathe around the bird. I truly think the shallow thing of wine will work out quite well. Hey, they'll die happy, at least.


  1. I have read that putting fruit scraps in a bread bag works.

    They fly in, enjoy the buffet, and you tie the bag up and throw it out.

    Beer, tea, or soda may also work.

  2. Wine would work, but not on all of them, in all likelihood.

    Um, CORSET?

  3. Put a little vinegar or beer in a glass with a few drops of liquid dish soap. The fruit flies are attracted to vinegar as much as they are to the sugars from the fruit (vinegar is nuttin' more than spoiling fruit). The dish soap is poison to them.

    Um, CORSET?

  4. OK, I have no solutions, and while I don't know all the alphabet soup of blogging I do know I am LMAO. You have 3 tats and 12 ear piercings? I thought I was bad with 7 piercings...and those are traditional on my ears...but then I am 62.

  5. I saw someone on CityLine who gave a recipe for Fruit Fly Soup! White or red wine mixed with dish soap. The wine attracts them and the dish soap kills them. If you use white wine, you can count the bodies, LOL ...

  6. Put some wine in a cup
    cover cup with plastic wrap (Saran wrap)
    use toothpick or fork prong to poke TINY holes in plastic
    leave where ever fruit flies are gathering
    have a pleasant sleep
    the next morning you will find a cup of dead drunk fruit flies..

    At least they died happy