Wednesday, April 13, 2011

From the Madhouse: Eye Contact

I'm finding it very difficult to get motivated on grey days. I wish the weather would just perk up and stay that way. Oh well, I'm not Mother Nature or God, so I have no control over it. Just sit back and hope for the best, huh?

Anyhoo, today's Madhouse topic is Eye Contact.

I have been a solid introvert all my life. I don't mind being alone - in fact, at times, I enjoy it.

As I've gotten older, gone through school and now have children in school, I find that it's much easier for me to interact with people. And, yes, even make eye contact. ESPECIALLY make eye contact. If it's just general chit chat, people feel more engaged with someone who will look at them. If I'm upset, looking the person in the eye tells them I mean business and I'm treated much more seriously.

I do admit to averting my eyes from time to time in conversation, so I don't feel or seem like some sort of crazycakes staring stalker.

I also enjoy seeing what other people are doing while we converse. Most people look me straight in the eye, others will look at me for a moment, then look straight down my top. They don't even try to be slick about it. It doesn't bother me - it's nothing they wouldn't see if I had on a swim suit instead of a shirt.

That's much less an ordeal than someone the Evil Twin used to work with. We called him "The Dick Talker" (that's his Indian name LOL - I keed, I keed). Anyway, this friend would come stand beside the Evil Twin's chair and envision it: The Evil Twin is seated, the friend is standing. All of a sudden, TET would turn his head and be eye level with this guy's crotch - and he's one of those who likes to stand close, too. And, no he is not gay. He's a super nice guy and we all still keep in touch.

The one thing that fouls me up on eye contact sometimes is if a person has a strange mole or crazy little baked bean teeth or a big green booger. I'm not making fun of someone like that, but it's just not something you see everyday, so it's hard to NOT stare or to keep your eyes wandering that way. I'll even look at their nose if I have to, just to keep my eyes relatively in the right facial place. (except if it's a booger and then I go to the hairline).

Does making eye contact make you feel uncomfortable?

Happy Wednesday, hooligans! (This has been a long week, I thought it was Thursday earlier!)



The other Madhousers:
Allison – Allimonster Speaks
Barb – Spencer Hill Spinning & Dyeing
Batty – Batty’s Adventures in Spooky Knitting
Dave – Notes from the Field
Eileen - Art Deco Diva Knits
Evil Twin’s Wife – The Glamorous Life of a Hausfrau
G – Not-A-Box
Heather – She Flies With Her Own Wings
Jennifer – Ask Poops, Please
JMLC – Daydreams and Ruminations
Kate – One More Thing
LC – LC in Sunny So Cal
Louise – Child of Grace
Marcy – Mittentime
Melanie – usually, things happen
Nikki – Land of the Free, Home of the Depressed
Sara – yoyu mama


  1. Nope...not at all. I have been trained to look people in the eye when I converse with them. It is respectful and it is mandatory in my chosen profession...Sales!

    Glad to hear that you have a good attitude about people looking at your top versus your eyes...most women would be highly offended.

  2. Dick talker...I am laughing so hard...

    I try to make eye contact as much as possible, but like you I am easily distracted by physical features. Which made talking to someone who recently got a boob job but didn't want anyone to know about it all sorts of difficult...

  3. Oh, I get very confused. I think it's because somehow I equate eye contact with sexual attraction. Yet as a youngster, when making contact with a girl, deliberately or not, I found it difficult to maintain contact.

    I used to fantasise about wearing dark glasses all the time.

  4. All this contact is, of course, "eye contact". Well I said I was confused.

  5. All this contact is, of course, "eye contact". Well I said I was confused.

  6. I try to maintain eye contact, but then I'll convince myself I'm doint the crazy stare down and try to look elsewhere and then I convince myself that the person will think I'm ignoring them so I will look at them.... repeat as necessary....

    Oh and I have a horrible time with a person that has the one crazy eye that looks a different direction. I'm constantly trying to check and see what their bad eye is looking at...

  7. Ron said what I was thinking first, that wandering eye gets me every time!

  8. BTW - I don't have much in the way of cleavage but find it hysterical when a guys gaze drifts from my face to my boobs. That's when I know I've got a good bra on and go get more of them!

  9. The Boob Talkers used to bother me a lot. The rage hit full on when I was pregnant, and I finally screamed "They DON'T TALK!" to some poor schlub that was staring like he was expecting tricks. (In his defense, the gals were around a 42G at the time...)

    Now, well, I'm used to it. I usually just smile and stand up straighter...

  10. 42G?! Good God, I've actually been staring at the screen since you wrote that!!

  11. I read that business conversations should have 70% of time with eyes on eyes or nose, and friendly encounters with 70 % on face -- anywhere from eyes to chin.

    Try applying that protocol.

    My question is, when do you get to look at the boobs?

  12. I have to admit that it skeeves me out a bit to look someone directly in the eyes for too long and I end up focusing on their forehead or cheek. Just seems like an act of aggression or intimidation - like you're trying to stare someone down.

    I also try to be aware of where my eyes wander, but sometimes it' veeerrrry difficult to not sneak a glance at some attractive cleavage. Discretion can be so difficult!