1. First of all I went through your blog. You haven't posted a titty shot since January 7th - that's just wrong. Maybe that's why you're not getting any secrets from us hooligans...
Here is my secret - ever since the Rex Ryan foot fetish videos, I've started looking at women's feet. And by golly a whole new world has opened up to me.. man have I been missing out. I'm starting to develop a deep connection to women's feet. For instance there is a woman in my office who has beautiful feet. We were sitting in the company lounge - she was on her blackberry or whatever, I was reading the paper and I kept looking at her feet. Pretty soon I had a full on boner - what to do... what to do... can't get up. Fortunately she left before I had to get up --- and I ran to the bathroom to wank off.. it was awesome... it was pleasureful for sure... now I''m on the look out for beautiful feet. Ladies reading this, if you have any you'd like to share feel free to email me. A nice boob shot to go with it would keep this brotha happy .... :-)
2. I helped my neighbor celebrate her 40th birthday by fucking her under the giant magnolia tree in her yard while her husband was passed out inside.
3. My coworker loves office sex. I asked her out but she prefers to do it
at work. I'm not complaining. She's blowing me as I type these words.
4. Just about every girl I've been in a relationship with has admitted to becoming sexually aware while watching "labyrinth". And I look NOTHING like David Bowie....
5. At my friend's bachelor party I hooked up with some random chick who was engaged. A few months later accused me of sexually transmitting throat cancer to her.
6. I once fixed a girl's laptop for a BJ. The problem? The battery came loose. (#WINNING)
This past week, I put a bottle of water I had been drinking in my purse. However, I didn't realize the lid was a little askew. My handbag was soaked. I immediately pulled out all my electronic goodies and tested them - all seemed well, but this morning, I tried to turn on my camera and....nada. I switched out the batteries from a remote control (we're out of AAs), and still nothing. It worked when I tested it. Yes, I have a DSLR I could work with, but it's not as easy as my point & shoot. I'd have to haul out a tripod, etc. etc.
So, until I find out if my little Canon is truly dead, I'll have to regale you with a rerun. Some of you may have not seen it, so it's all good.
Happy Friday, hooligans! Have a great weekend, too!