Like A Cluster of Grapes

For Christmas, Santa brought Sissy a little play kitchen with some plastic foods. She already had a shopping cart and foods that were hand me downs from her brother, so this gift just rounded out the fun she could have with meal preparation. (Just wait 'til she gets older and meal prep is the bane of her existence as it is mine!).

One of the plastic foods in the set is a cluster of grapes:



Cute, huh?

Well, every time I look at these grapes, all I can think about is a story the Evil Twin told me years ago.

Way before he and I ever met, he worked at a grocery store as a stock boy. While he and his co-workers were hanging around shooting the bull, one co-worker said he had "hemorrhoids like a cluster of grapes" coming out his ass.

Now, while this is a funny scenario to imagine, I also have to think it must have been pretty painful to have that much hemorrhoid action on ones' butthole. How did he wipe? I'd say: very gingerly.

And this was back in the days before the convenient little boxes of wet wipes were all over the place.

Frankly, if it were me, I'd be seeing a doctor about that business.

Life's too short to have a sore bunghole all the time!

Funny enough, when I see grapes at the grocery store, I never think about it. They're big bags of grapes. But, when I see this plastic "cluster of grapes", I think of the hemorrhoid story.

Gross!