You all know I don't really watch TV - unless it's Thursday night and "Survivor" is on, or if we happen to be catching new episodes of "Dexter" on DVD - and we still haven't started season two yet. (Sorry, Buzzardbilly - but I have your DVDs ready to return).
The TV is on all the time, though because my family (the rest of them) love the TV. We have the big ass TV, which is a draw for everyone:
When the Evil Twin and I first got together, he told me he didn't like Charmin toilet paper. Not a problem for me. My mom had bought Quilted Northern for as long as I could remember and that's what I continued to purchase as an adult.
But, when I asked the Evil Twin why he didn't want Charmin, he told me, "Because it balls up in your ass."
I've never personally experienced that, but I believed him.
Then, I heard from others who said Charmin balled up in your ass crack. Ewww!
But the other day, I was sitting here, minding my own business when I saw this commercial:
Apparently, Charmin is trying to convince folks that it DOESN'T leave TP balls in the ass crack no mo.
I had to change the commercial because the one I saw was taken down, who knows how long this one will last, but this commercial (above) is the same gist as the one I saw. And one commenter even says it better than I ever could:
"These Charmin commercials are so disgusting. They are basically talking about how Charmin toilet paper leaves less pieces tangled in your asshole hair."
Amen, bro.
I LOVE Charmin Ultra Strong. NOt becauseo f the ass-powder thing, but because it does'nt tear apart, is soft, and a little of it goes a long way.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, this commercial just jumped a flock of sharks. So wrong.
These commercials have always grossed me out - even if it *is* showing cute little bears. Eeew.
ReplyDeletethe charmin bear commercials always make me and my sister and sister-in-law rofl. i guess we like poop jokes...
ReplyDeletecharmin is bad because not only does it leave poop/paper dingleberries in your buttcrack but... if you have old plumbing it'll clog the drain.
that's why they **implore** you not to use more than 4 sheets. because it will clog and you'll wind up paying 800 bucks to get rotorouter to make fun of you for being fat and cloging toilets.
maybe that's just me?
I kid you not, I saw this commercial on the big screen in front of Saw V.
ReplyDeleteWet wipes people, wet wipes. If you dog pooped on the floor would you wipe it up with toilet paper. Or how baby when your baby poops in his diaper, do you wipe him with toliet paper? Wet wipes !!!!! Let go of the Charmin !
ReplyDeleteI learned from my dog long ago not to use toilet paper. We all know the best way is to sit on the carpet and drag yourself around by your hands until clean. Ummm.... the only problem I see is you sort of have to replace the carpet fairly often.
ReplyDeleteI can't decide who gets the bigger, more horrified laugh: Nick or Ron?
ReplyDeleteThe Girl You Don't Bring etc...I'm with you! I only use wipes now. They are so much better than toilet paper. I can't convince my husband to use them, though...but he's the one that has to clean the little balls of TP off the back of the toilet.
ReplyDeleteTiff - LOL!
ReplyDeleteGigi - I know! It's still talking about dingleberries!
fattie20xl - Now I know about the 4 sheets thing. Thanks!
Nick - which was scarier?
The Girl - we do have the wet wipes too, but I've found if you use those, it needs a follow up with a dry wipe. Besides, Quilted Northern doesn't leave TP balls.
Ron - LOL! Ewwwww!
Renn - I think it might be a tie.
Anonymous - Everyone in my house likes the wet wipes (I buy a lot of them!).
OMGosh...LOL!!! Too funny!! I like Cottonelle & Quilted Northern...my hubby liked the one Charmin with ALOE - hello?? wtf do you need aloe on you ass for?!?! - maybe I don't wanna know... ;)
ReplyDeleteOh Gawd! I thought those commercials were just for us Canadians, I didn't know you got them too. I hate them. They are also using the "Does a bear shit in the woods?" concept here too I think. Okay, I did buy it because I hate the "problem" they are talking about. Hubby has plugged the toilet twice since we switched, so you do have to be aware of how much you use.
ReplyDeleteWet wipes? Can you flush them??
TGG - LOL. I don't wanna know either.
ReplyDeleteMsBarbaraJane - look in the TP aisle. Wet wipes come in a plastic box that can be refilled and can be flushed.
Ron has me laughing my ass off...so I won't have that TP anymore!! thanks Ron.
ReplyDeleteMy grandpappy used pages out of a Sear's catalog out in the outhouse. There wasn't none of this fancy "indoor plumbing" and "toilet paper." Nobody complained about "dingleberries" when you had snakebites to worry about. You spoiled city folks got it to easy if you ask me. ;)
ReplyDeletewhy is it that i don't see any new-construction houses with bidets? i honestly think that TP alone is unsanitary. i usually shower right after anyway....
ReplyDeletethemom - LOL.
ReplyDeleteHacksaw - you have a point! ;-)
fattie20xl - I guess because Americans aren't used to the bidet experience. Could save a lot on the water bill, huh?
Big T is a total freak and I hate Charmin...
ReplyDeleteWe have 2 different rolls in our bathroom, his Charmin Basic and my Cottonelle.
I don't want to let anything icky get balled up in my butt hair ;)
I think I just pissed myself laughing.
ReplyDeleteMight Need some charmin.. NO WAIT.. White cloud.. Northern... walmart version.. anything but butt ass crack balls.
Dingleberry's as we say in supahmommy's house.
funny stuff.
d
Diva - different wipes for different folks, huh?
ReplyDeletesupah~d - Welcome! Thanks for stopping by. Go with the Quilted Northern - a nice 2 ply with no icky side effects!