Friday Secrets May 28

It's that time o' the week again! My best day ever! :-)

1. I was set free this week! I walked the dog around my yard bare naked (me, not the dog) 2 nights this week!  I live in the city limits here in Charleston and have neighbors! Talk about a boner-maker!

2. To #9 from last week:

My wife and I were feeling frisky while in an adult toy store 3 years ago.  I saw some "equipment" and joked a little about it.  To my surprise, the wife said we should try it.  Now it is definitely not for everyone, but I gotta tell you, when she gets me with the strap-on, I cum harder than I ever do without.  I don't feel the least bit gay (not that there is anything wrong with that).  It just feels freakin' fantastic once you relax, get over all the "what if this makes me like men" crap in your head, etc.

Go get some toys of your own (and lots of lube) and give it a go.  Make sure you get something rated for ass-play as you don't want to have to make a trip to the ER and have to explain anything to the crowd of docs and nurses that would surely gather.

3. My neighbor across the quad undresses with her curtains open. I watch when I can and masturbate. I think she knows.

4. When I do my laundry I sometimes sniff my gf's panties.

5. In the middle of a threesome, two guys and a girl, the other guy started sucking me off. It freaked me out for a second but I did not push him away. He was actually very good.

6. I can't stop thinking about #9 from last week.  I want the strap-on too.  

7. I got drunk last night & called my ex-wife.  I was actually hoping for a booty call (which was common when we 1st split up, but not for a few years), but having her tell me about (in detail) how much she wanted to suck my dick was enough to get me off.  :)  The sex was always the best part of out marriage, so why not take the good WITHOUT the bad???

8. I assisted a married woman in getting herself off this morning from my desk here at my office...

9. She said she wasn't interested.  I honestly expected as much.  Still.  Yeah this fucking sucks.

10. I secretly think my dog hates me. I buy him toys and treats but he still won't come to me when I call him.

11. Why am I supposed to work on it when she says she doesn't believe we'll ever be able to fix it?

12. The biggest fight my girlfriend and I have had was over Starwars.  Where I believe that the empire was faulty since it was taken out by a bunch of Ewoks!!!

I did not get a mystery pic and I'm growing tired of my same old schtick. Any suggestion? Must be rated PG! ;-)

Happy Friday, hooligans!

APB

I went out yesterday evening for a photo shoot with Flatimir. Only, he had gone missing!

In the area where the Evil Twin had thrown him, there is quite a bit of brush and foliage, so I really looked around to see if he had fallen, but I couldn't really see much. It's just too overgrown with "stuff".

OK. What happened to Flatimir? A. The Neighbor's lab (who is allowed to play in the backyard) found him and carted him off? B. A Hawk swooped down and retrieved him for a snack? or C. He got blown off his landing spot and was further down in the brush than I could see?

I saw no evidence of anything - no tufts of fur, no bones and there was not a lingering odor in the air of anything all icky and corpsy.

My guess is hawk, but only if hawks actually would pick up carrion. Do hawks eat previously dead things or do they like their meals to be fresher?

I'm a little bummed that my perfect science experiment is already a bust!

Oh well, I have Miss Bella to keep my frown upside down! She is already the joy of the whole family. Sissy can't keep her grubby hands off of her AND she doesn't seem to understand the concept of "rubbing a cat's fur the wrong way". We've repeatedly told her "From the top of the head back down, but don't mess with her tail."

I took Bella poo to the vet yesterday and she appears to be healthy. They said she was 12 weeks old. She did need a 2nd worm vaccine, a couple other vaccines and also had to have a treatment for ear mites, which I had already suspected she had. What can ya do? Shelter animals can come home with a variety of creeping crud(s).

The vet said that if we could breed her and reproduce her coloring on the kittens (especially if we could get a male), we could make a fortune. No thanks, she will be spayed in a month or so.

Today, Sissy and I will make the trek to PetSmart (or however it's spelled) to get the rest of the supplies we'll need. We sold or gave away all of our cat stuff years ago when the Evil Twin swore there'd be no more fur shedding animals in the house. Turns out, I think that secretly, he loves her just as much or more than the rest of us.

It's so true about how a pet can make your life less stressful. Their unconditional love is worth all the other hassles. :-)

So, Evil Twin, baby, THANK YOU for rethinking your stance on "no more cats". She has already made my life 100% happier!

Happy Thursday, hooligans!

The Post of Many Thoughts

I'm sorry I didn't get around to responding to comments yesterday - it's been one crazy week already!

First, Bella is NOT named after a Twilight character or a princess or anything like that. Bella means "beautiful" in Spanish, and since we think she is the most beautiful thing on the planet (aside from Sissy - and Buddy is the most handsome), we thought that name suited her just right.

Also, I had so much work to do for my "job", I didn't have time to take Miss Bella to the vet yesterday. I will call today and see if we can get in.

Second, about Flatimir, we're not sure what happened there. We have two theories. Theory 1 is that when the Evil Twin was mowing the grass 2 weeks ago, Flatimir got in and then the Evil Twin locked the shed and the squirrel couldn't get out and starved. Sad! Or, alternately, some animals, when they detect their demise is imminent, they will find a secluded hidey hole to to expire. That may have been the case.

Flatimir was semi-flat and kinda stuck to the wooden floor (body juices leaking? Blech...I don't know!).

I wasn't able to get out yesterday for pics, so maybe today. It's another long day for yours truly.

Happy Wednesday, hooligans!

Say Hello to my Little Friend

Sissy has been harping on about pets lately. You know we have that little asshole, Apple (the parakeet). Apple IS hand trained, meaning he will freely fly into and out of his cage and even hang out with us (mostly on our heads), but he is also prone to nipping with his beak and he kinda likes to make a racket sometimes. Usually, when we're trying to hear something on the TV or talk to one another.

Plus, Sissy is terrified of him out of the cage. In the cage, she's good.

The Evil Twin and I started to very cautiously talk about the possibilities. We have a nice yard, although it's only 3/4 fenced (one side is open - which I like, but doesn't help with keeping a dog on the property). Our town has such strict leash laws and noise ordinances, I have only seen one dog wandering around in the 5+ yrs we've lived here and we almost never hear barking. Unlike our old neighborhood - Buddy couldn't even play outside because the neighbors behind us had a rottweiler who could jump the fence.

I was determined to NOT let my child be a chew toy. So, we spent what little time outdoors we could manage in the front yard.

The Evil Twin and I kept talking. I had a calico cat years ago who I loved with all my heart and soul. She was beautiful, smart and had a great disposition. I really wanted another calico. So, I searched and searched. None to be found in our area, but in BFE Kentucky, one shelter had exactly what I had in mind. But, if there is any shelter on this Earth that needs adoptions and help, this one is it. The animals appeared to be very well cared for, but the shelter itself was so far out in the boondocks, they probably don't get much business.


BELLA: (in my purse)

She looks SO much like my beloved Chingate, it's scary. Of course, being only 8 weeks old, she's into everything!

Sissy and I drove over 300 miles (both ways) and into some of the scariest hollars I have ever seen. We took some of the scariest "kiss your ass" curves I've ever driven and when Sissy upchucked a bit, I figured she was motion sick like her brother. I put the motion sick bands on her wrists and carried on. Several miles later, she spewed copious amounts of vomit.

She woke up this morning at 3 AM to join me on the couch, where I was asleep with Bella, only to throw up a few more times. I had an appointment with my hoo-ha doctor, but had to call and cancel it. I have several other pressing matters I cannot cancel, so I need to get to work *soon*.

Did you know that nearly 96% of calicos are female? The very few males are born with an extra chromosome and they are sterile.

Bella will be visiting the vet tomorrow and getting some shots. Then, we'll schedule the spay. I hate that for her, but a cat in heat and prone to sneak out and be all slutty is even worse.

The kids adore her - as do the Evil Twin and I - and she seems to be very comfortable and happy in her new forever home.

I will discuss Flatimir tomorrow - and speculate on the reasons of his demise. Stay tuned for that. I'll probably get pictures, too! :-)

Happy Tuesday, hooligans - I have a shit ton of work to do today.

Dead in the Shed

We have a wooden shed behind the house where the Evil Twin keeps his lawn equipment and assorted other household "things" (like window screens, the wheelbarrow, etc.).

The last time he was in there - 2 weeks ago - he noticed there were a metric boatload of flies in there. He couldn't imagine why.

Then he moved the old trash cans he uses for picking up yard debris and found the culprit. A dead squirrel. Still fairly fresh looking, but definitely dead.

I was summoned to the back yard to witness the gory site. I have a keen sense of smell, but I didn't smell anything "off", so I don't think he had been there too long.

The main dilemma was that the Evil Twin didn't want to scrape it up onto a shovel himself. We contemplated calling the neighbors, but in a valiant effort to not appear a complete wuss, he said if I would scrape it up onto the shovel, he would take over after that and discard the deceased over the fence line.

I was okay with that. As long as I didn't have to look at it too long, I could handle the initial scraping. It was a bit "stuck" to the shed floor, but I worked at it and eventually had it ON the shovel. We were both alternately laughing and saying "Ewww" at the same time. It was pretty comical.

The Evil Twin flung Flatimir over the fence line and it landed on a log, just like that, just landed on a freaking tree branch - all flat and stiff and stuff.

After the "send off", we laughed about the absurdity of it all. Later, I went and took pictures. This isn't the greatest shot, but I was balancing on 2 wobbly boards to try to get the closest view (thank goodness for DSLR and a super zoom lens).

Gross!!! It's a good thing I enjoy the macabre and icky parts of life.

This is going to make an interesting (and funny) science experiment. I'll document the decomposition of Flatimir. Of course, I will let you all know if it gets too bad for the normal person to stomach. Chances are, he might be blown off that perch, but we'll see!

Happy Monday, hooligans and welcome to my sick world!

Friday Secrets (UPDATED)

1. I am headed to an Al Anon convention Saturday morning about 3 hours from home.  My spouse, the alcoholic that drove me to Al Anon, will be staying home, desperately trying to resist the contents of the local liquor store.  Knowing my spouse will lose that contest (hasn't won one yet), I've already arranged to meet a former mistress at the convention.  This mistress has an oral fixation that is unstoppable.  While she isn't a grateful member of Al Anon, she really enjoys getting out of the house, hanging out in a hotel room resting up all day and satisfying that oral fixation all night long.  I hope she doesn't leave marks . . .

2. I sent a naked photo of myself to a porn site that encouraged reader submissions. It's been two months and it still hasn't been posted. My self-esteem is shot.

3. Who says the pics always have to be for the guys? This one is for the ladies. I'm nothing special, but thought this was a good pic. This is a fake e-mail addy. I choose to remain totally anonymous.

4. I'm completely conflicted about whether or not I should actually kiss her.  I really really really want to.  She's gorgeous and funny and smart and sexy.  But... she's also not my wife.

5. I'm on Viagra. It's the best thing I have done in years. My wife, and mistress, are grateful too.

6.There is a convenience store I stop at on my way home from work most days and more often than not, the same lady works behind the counter.  I've never been the flirty type, but over time, our quick hello's and have a nice day's have turned into "I like your hair today" and "that's a really nice tie".  I know - budding romance, right?

Yesterday, she was outside sweeping the lot when I pulled in and she actually engaged me in real conversation. She asked me what I do for a living etc etc.  We talked for a few minutes and as I was leaving, she told me that she has wondered about who I am and what I do for such a long time, and she just had this huge smile on her face.

I know this wasn't an invitation to grab a hotel and get busy, but I drove home with such a wonderful feeling.  For a middle-aged, out of shape guy, that slightest interest by a much younger and attractive lady was quite enjoyable.  Too enjoyable to share with my wife.

7. On more than one occasion I have fantasized and stroked my cock to images of Evil Twins Wife.

8. When I was in college I was given a blowjob by one of my fraterity brother's girlfriends to allow her to "get back" at him for flirting with another girl... So much for brotherhood right. I shot a huge load of cum down her throat.

9.

And one more surprise from yours truly:

For those curious about my tats (there are three all together):

Happy Friday, hooligans! Enjoy the secrets!

Don't Forget!

Tomorrow is Friday! That means you still have time to submit a Friday secret or two! Let's make it interesting for everyone.

Also, I hate to sound like a salesperson, but I've been doing my online shopping through a site called Ebates. It pays you to shop there! Basically, it's just giving you a percentage of your purchase back. And, it's all by buying things you might ordinarily buy online anyway. In an attempt to earn more points, I have a referral code: http://www.ebates.com/rf.do?referrerid=8kZ%2B1MMoE%2Fz7tq8JOvzU2w%3D%3D and if you use this code, I get credit for signing up a new member. It's free. No strings attached and you don't even have to use it after you sign up if you don't want to, but I'd be really really happy if you could help a gal out and use my code to join.

I have a really great picture to post if I get a referral or two, so pretty please?

Alright, enough of the shameless begging!

I have to do a few items for my new sort of "job" and then get ready to go to the Mart of Wal. I waited until today because it's supposed to be sunny and warm. So far, that's not looking likely, but at least it's not raining (I probably just jinxed myself! LOL).

Happy Thursday, hooligans!

Dear Mother Nature

It is May - nearly June, in fact. What is up with this crappy weather? I haven't even been able to clean out the kids' closets because, frankly, I don't know what we'll need to wear from day to day.

I'm from the South. I expect mid March to be "shorts weather". If I have to wear even a light jacket in May, I consider that an epic FAIL.

Let's get this cleared up and pronto. May = warm weather. Nice weather. Weather where my family can sit out on our patio and enjoy the fresh air.

Our house is situated in the middle of 2 rather large lots. It takes the Evil Twin the better part of a day for yard maintenance. We have a swing set for the kids, my wonderful hammock and plenty of outdoor toys. Unfortunately, we can't even enjoy these things because it is always: a)Rainy b)Damp or c)Just too fucking cold.

Even if the sun comes out for approximately 10 minutes a day, that's not enough to dry out my hammock and the ground.

Not to start a political debate here, but if global warming were real, wouldn't the temperatures be going UP, not down? Al Gore can kiss my ass.

No, wait. My ass is too good for that. He can clean all my toilets with his tongue. I bet he's sorry he invented the internet, now!! My toilets await you, Al - and they need a scrubbing!

Because I am freezing to death in my own modest home, I haven't exactly been motivated to do much housework.

I guess I'll go turn the shower to "scalding" and try to warm up a bit....

Award-O-Rama

First, I received an award from Sammy:

The Sunshine Award is awarded to bloggers whose positivity and creativity inspire others in the blogging world.

Then from Overthinking Mama, I received the Versatile Blogger Award:

1. Thank the person who gave you this award.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Pass the award along to 15 bloggers (or as many as you can) who you have recently discovered and who you think are fantastic!
4. Contact the bloggers you've picked and let them know about the award.

So, I want to thank both Sammy and Overthinking Mama for thinking of me. I'm flattered beyond belief!

Now, seven things about myself. Seriously, is there anything you all DON'T already know about me??? I'm like the most shameless, blabbingest fool on these interwebs.

Okay, okay. Here goes:

1. I do love a challenge, but I tend to get bogged down and preoccupied thinking of solutions. But, once I reach a resolution, I can move on and be happy that I sorted out the issue/problem/challenge.

2. I honestly do not think I look my age (42). That may be delusional wishful thinking, but I use moisturizer like some sort of addict and I drink loads of water each day. I don't even know how much I drink, but I would think an estimate of at least a gallon a day wouldn't be too far off.

3. I'm proud to have been raised in the South with a very Southern momma. She taught me to cook really good foods using real ingredients. If you come to my house, I hope you like real butter, because that's all you'll find.

4. I really want another cat. The Evil Twin won't relent on this, but I have a feeling if I found a calico (the BEST cats), I might be able to talk him into it. ;-)

5. In the 18 years we've been together, the Evil Twin and I have bought 2 houses. When I look around our current home, I almost have to pinch myself. I still feel like a little kid playing "house". It's not like this place is anything to write home about, but the fact that it is ours the bank's still trips me out.

6. I keep bendy straws and Dum Dum suckers on hand all the time. The kids love them.

7. I love seeing military men in their uniforms. Dress or BDUs - doesn't matter. I think they're all so handsome.

I hate picking names, so I'll just say if you are a regular here, I want you to have both of these awards. Check out my blog roll and find some really great writers! You won't be disappointed!

Happy Tuesday, hooligans!

Block!

I've been sitting here, staring at this screen forever....And nothing is popping into my head. I did receive a couple of awards in the past week or so, but I need to find all that info, and that might take a while. That will be a post for another day.

We had a fun weekend. Ron came by on Friday and stayed the night. We had lunch at Mayberry's on Saturday and it was delicious as usual! Other than his visit, our weekend was pretty laid back. It was nice to have some company! I spent Friday evening drinking wine (imagine that). Ron is not really a drinker, so he didn't have anything, but we sat around and regaled each other with stories of a disgusting nature (which had me in tears, I was laughing so much) and watching the grossest videos we could find on YouTube. Good times, good times....

Believe it or not, I watched a video on Popthatzit.com yesterday that actually turned my stomach and I had to look away a time or two. THAT never happens.

It's a cruddy overcast day and my allergies are working overtime. My head is all foggy and my nose is running. Lovely. It certainly doesn't do much for my creativity, so all you get today is a lame-o post. Sorry, kids.

Happy Monday, hooligans!

Friday Secrets

The secrets get better each week! Enjoy them!

1. Last year, I met a married guy online and indulged him in his foot fetish on 3 different occasions.  The first time, we met in a shoe store, and he said he'd buy me any pair of shoes I wanted.  Then we went back to my place and I did naughty things to him with my feet.  The next two times, he gave me $100 to "help me with my bills".  The third (and last) time we were together, I deep-throated him with one foot while using the other foot to massage his junk.  All 3 times we met up, I remained fully clothed while he was naked.  I never let him touch me above the knees.  I had to end it though because how do you top deep-throating someone with your foot?!  Yes, I prostituted my feet.

2. I'm a gay guy and I'm hooking up with a guy who has a partner - they're in an open relationship and the partner lives two hours away... anyway, I had a shitty year so Im not up for dating but I'd date this guy in a heartbeat. And he doesn't help because he tells me things like how I'm such a great guy, I'm so awesome, (most recent text, just as I'm typing this... "I've never met ANYONE like you before! You're amazing!") etc. So its a killer of a situation. But for now, he's taken and I'm broken. Men suck! :)

3. "#6 - on the nosey. Too bad it's only cleavage, though. It's almost like proudly showing off a vintage muscle car, but never popping the hood to display the real source of the horsepower! It would be a crime if I selfishly kept all that to myself, as I'm sure most of the male commenters here would agree."

I hope you won't be offended but I totally spanked frank over that picture of your wife on Thursday.  The wedding ring does it for me, and of course, she does it for me and every guy who enjoys her writing. 

Not to worry, no stalking action here, just wanted to let you know that your arm candy works for me!

Cheers. 

Now, I am off to enjoy my own wife. ;)   

4. I have successfully developed a separate identity and have gotten to be good friends on Facebook and Twitter with people who would probably not want me knowing the things they talk about.  In fact, it's how I know about your Friday Secrets. Obviously, the email account I used to send this is not mine.


5. When I have to travel out of town for business, I actually sleep better alone in my hotel bed than I do at home with my wife.  But I tell her just the opposite. The truth would devastate her.  

Happy Friday, hooligans!

Cornfuzzled

This has been such a weird week. Tuesday were the primary elections here, so the Evil Twin and Buddy were both home. The Evil Twin had taken Monday off as a vacation day, so he could have a four day weekend.

I've been so off my routine, it's making me crazy. Yesterday, it rained buckets all day. I was going to go to the Mart of Wal, but didn't need anything desperately enough that the trip couldn't wait 'til today, so today it is.

I think I may be able to shift my grocery day from Monday to mid-week, which is nice. I hated starting my week out having to grocery shop.

By the time I get my days back on track, it'll be Monday again! Sheesh!

It HAS been a good week, though. I was able to have some down time, we got the vinyl siding estimate that I was worried would be sky high - so that calmed my anxiety down several notches.

While I spent that evening going back and forth about what to do, I wished that I had some sort of part time job I could do from home. Just to bring in a bit of extra income.

I do freelance typing for a few people, but the work is not steady. I had done some typing last week and still had one letter I needed to get to my client. I called him on Wednesday to let him know it had been ready for some time (turns out he had been out of town last week, so that's why he didn't stop by and get it then). He then offered me an opportunity to work from home! It won't be many hours, but it will be something I will do every month.

How cool is that? And, it's something I happen to enjoy doing anyway and I'm good at it. I can't really go into much detail - it's totally legal, but it involves personal financial matters. I'm especially flattered that I am trusted enough for him to ask me to work with him on this project.

Speaking of being trusted, won't you trust me with a secret or two this week? You have until tomorrow morning +/- 9:00am (sometimes I slack on it until closer to 10 am, like today!) Send me email at eviltwinswife@gmail.com. No one has access to my computer except me and all secrets are deleted from my email as soon as I copy and paste them into a word document.

Unfortunately, Sissy found a recorder (flute type of instrument) in her brother's stash of stuff and has appropriated it for herself. She is currently using it as an instrument of torture by making up tuneless toots, I think it's a covert operation to drive me nuts (I don't have far to go). So, with that, I will jump in the shower and save myself a few moments of ear bleeding torture!

Happy Thursday, hooligans!

High Anxiety

Our house was built in 1956. It is a solid house - back when houses were built with quality materials.

However, it is stucco sided and the siding is showing some wear and tear. The Evil Twin and I had been kicking the idea of having it vinyl or brick sided for a few years now, but were nervous about the expense.

Finally, I started looking into getting estimates. Just to see, you know?

So, yesterday, a gentleman came by (recommended by a larger company) to give us an estimate. I was surprised to learn that the whole ordeal would be considerably LESS than what I had envisioned. It's still a chunk of change, but we CAN afford it and I think it will improve the curb appeal of the house immensely.

Plus, it would mean we'd never have to deal with the cracking stucco ever again.

I'm in the "Yea" category while the Evil Twin is in the "Nay" category.

Other pluses are that we'd be eligible for a tax credit for making the house more energy efficient and it would up the re-sell value quite a bit.

As usual, any matter that involves money (big or small) has my knickers all in a twist.

So, is 3 weeks worth of construction and about 11K worth a lifetime of happiness and a beautiful exterior? The inside is already nice. I'd like the outside to reflect the same vibe.

Since the Evil Twin and Buddy were both off yesterday (primary elections), my whole routine is all akimbo and I have a ton of making up to do today. Laundry, dishes, grocery, phone calls, etc.

If you have any thoughts about the siding, let me know in the comments. Otherwise, have a Happy Wednesday, hooligans!

My Mother's Day

It was really great! Instead of dealing with the crowds at a restaurant, a friend of mine and I discussed just having a cook out here at the house. Her son and Buddy are friends, so it made sense for us to all get together and just enjoy the day in a relaxed way.

The Evil Twin went to the store and purchased the stuff we needed - I cut up tomatoes, lettuce, pickles and onion for the hamburgers, chopped onions for the hot dogs and set out the condiments.

We ate like pigs and then all the grown ups proceeded to find comfy spots in the den and promptly passed out for a while. :-) It was soooo relaxing.

On Saturday, the door bell rang and a guy delivered a package from Edible Arrangements for me. The Evil Twin had arranged to have a dozen chocolate dipped strawberries delivered! They were the biggest strawberries I've ever seen - and they were SO delicious! I couldn't believe it.

We typically don't do little gifts for holidays, so I was very surprised. Of course, I shared with the rest of the family and our friends who were over. I saved the last one for ME ME ME! :-)

I also got to talk to my bio mom on the phone, which was nice. We've both been so busy lately, we haven't had much time to catch up, except on Facebook! LOL. I thought about my own mom, too, and hoped she could know how happy we are, but also know that we miss her every day.

The Evil Twin is off today - tomorrow is the primary elections and he has that day off as a regular holiday day, so he just decided to make it a long weekend. Tomorrow, Buddy is out of school (the elections are done at the local schools) - maybe tomorrow, we can all sleep in a bit!

Now, if it would only warm up and act like May, I would be the happiest girl in the world! It's been nipply around here, especially in the mornings. Brrrr.

Happy Monday, hooligans!

Friday Secrets

Here are the Friday Secrets!

1.

2. I wish my lesbian friend wasn't so damn hot.  I'm constantly wanting to flirt with her.  Then again that is my standard MO...  Falling for women I never have any chance with, especially considering I'm already married.

3. She thinks I'd never survive on my own because I need someone to take care of me.  I believe the opposite is true.  I think I'd be fine on my own, but she'd completely fall apart.  That's mainly the reason I haven't left.  I love her too much to destroy her like that.

4. When I read the Friday Secrets about "cyber infidelity" I sometimes wish someone would feel that way about me, but more often I am disgusted by what seems like boasting about cheating on one's spouse and being able to get away with it.

5. I am so miserable in my life and marriage that I keep looking for someone, anyone, who will make me feel important, sexy, and wanted.  It's become an obsession that is ruining my life.  

6. RE: The hot pose from Thursday.  I imagine the Evil Twin getting all turned on by loads of guys (and many of the ladies) oogling over ETW's PG-13 pictures.  I love it when I catch other men admiring my wife's cleavage.

7. I am an in-the-closet atheist.  I used to be a believer but over time, I have found that I just don't buy it.  No one in my family knows and it would be very bad if they found out.  I suppose I may go to my grave with this new un-belief, but I feel such a burden removed from my shoulders no longer having to worry about the inconsistencies, the things that never made sense, and the mental stress of worrying about it all.

Once again, none of the secrets are my own.

Happy Friday, hooligans!

In The Gutter

Well, here we sit - the Evil Twin, Sissy and I - waiting on the gutter company to show up to replace all our gutters, downspouts, etc. and install gutter guards.

We've been in this house for over 5 years and the gutters have needed attention since then (actually, they've needed it for a long time....)

They were "supposed" to be here between 9 and 9:30. It's 9:45 and still no gutter guys and no phone call. I just want to get it over with.

Why is getting work done - wanting to pay people money - such an ordeal??

So, we MAY or MAY NOT be getting new gutters today. At any rate, we will get them eventually.

Update: 9:50 AM - the building permit was just dropped off and the guys are on their way here! YAY!

A couple of different things before I sign off today: Sissy is feeling much better. She had some saltine crackers and ginger ale last night and kept it all down. She said, "These are the best crackers, ever!" I'm sure they were. When you haven't eaten all day, a saltine would be divine. :-)

I did receive a good handful of Friday secrets, so I will gift you all with a special photo:

Remember: It's not too late to send in more secrets. eviltwinswife@gmail.com.

Happy Thursday (and HNT), hooligans!

Laundry, Germs and Sickies - Oh My!

I thought I would have a chance to get caught up on my reading and other activities today, but Sissy woke up and crawled in bed with me. About a half hour later, she shot upright and gave me "the look".

All moms are familiar with their child's "look". With Sissy, it's a confused face with eyes as big as saucers. I was only fast enough to grab the bottom of her nightgown to catch the vomit.

After the initial episode, I was able to grab some towels from the towel drawer.

With a good stack handy, we laid back down and snoozed for a bit. I felt her sit upright again and grabbed a towel!

About five episodes later, she seemed to want to get out of bed, so I got her a glass of ice water and made up a little bed on the couch.

I'm going to try to sneak off to the shower in a bit and wait to see if she can hold this ice water down.

Then maybe she can have some toast or applesauce.

I will do my best to make my rounds later on. :-) Keep your fingers crossed that whatever hit her is not contagious because we will all be sick for sure! Blech! At least the others here have the mad "making it to the toilet" skillz. LOL.

Awwwwkward....

On Sunday evening, I thought Buddy was in bed already, but he was downstairs talking to the Evil Twin a bit. It was time for me to do my injection - I try to get it as close to just after 9:30 pm as possible every day.

I had to do the back of my right arm, since I have to rotate my injection sites. I was halfway thru the injection and here comes Buddy bounding into the den to kiss me goodnight.

I have spent the last 10 years keeping my disease a secret to my children.

Since I had been caught, I knew I needed to explain right away (lest he go to school and tell someone his mom was shooting up! LOL). I gave a brief description and let him go to bed.

Monday evening, he had a molar fall out and I needed to run to the Mart of Wal anyway, so I invited him to come along with me and he could pick a prize. (The tooth fairy doesn't really visit the bigger kids, ya know?).

I was happy when he agreed to my plan. It gave me an opportunity to further discuss Multiple Sclerosis and what it meant for me.

It is also widely agreed by neurologists that MS is not hereditary, so I assured him that he did not have to worry about getting it. It's not contagious either, it's just one of those things.

I let him know that as long as I stay on my medication, I should remain stable. I let him know that I'm often tired because of my disease. So, if I had very little energy, that was probably why.

He seemed to take it all in and take it well.

I certainly don't spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about it or worrying about it and I don't want my children to, either. It doesn't have me, it never will.

PreSchool Round Up

I got Sissy registered for preschool on Thursday. It's not the same preschool that Buddy attended, so I was unfamiliar with how things would work there. Luckily, I had all my paperwork in order.

They did a vision and hearing screening and speech assessment. She passed everything with flying colors! (That's my girl!).

When I registered Buddy for preschool, I think all I needed was his birth certificate and immunization record. It wasn't until Kindergarten where I needed all the additional info and where he went through the hearing/vision screening, etc.

The school where she will attend preschool is not where she will attend Kindergarten. Our district school will not be ready to offer public preschool until 2012, so I had to choose a different location.

I requested the afternoon option. It runs from 10:45 to 1:55, Monday through Thursday. That will give me so much time to go grocery shopping (ALONE!), go to the tanning bed (ALONE!), read a book (ALONE!), pay bills (ALONE!).

As you can see, I like being alone. I also plan on setting up lunch dates with the few other moms I know who stay at home, but have school aged children.

Besides, I think Sissy is really ready for the socialization. I think she gets bored here with me sometimes - following me around while I do laundry, empty the dishwasher, etc. etc. It doesn't give me much time to play with her or read to her. And, I feel bad about that.

She really needs to get out and interact with children her age. Some moms are sad about sending their little crotch rockets off to school, but not me. I'm happy to see them expand their horizons and grow into the people they will be.

The only thing worrying me at this point is that she has asked if I will be there with her. I said, "No, mommy will drop you off, you can play with your friends and mommy will be back to pick you up." She had to kind of think about that for a bit. She didn't comment further, so I'm just hoping when the time comes, she is okay with me walking away.

She's a pretty independent little cuss, so she'll most likely be like her older brother. When I dropped him off on the first day of preschool - me, on the verge of tears - he looked at me and said, "Bye, mommy!" and ran off to play.

:::Sigh:::

On another note, since we're quickly moving toward the summer break, I have been asked to be on the board for the pool we belong to. So, if I run into Miss Smarty Pants this summer, I can really lay down the law for her. I hope she'll enjoy being pwned.

Happy Monday, hooligans - I'm off to the Mart of Wal, as usual! :-)

PS. Don't forget about Friday Secrets. If I receive some good ones, I'll offer up an interesting HNT shot the day before!