And, also, she had been sleeping in her big girl bed for about three nights before the vomitrocious activities started. I was just bummed that all that bedding had just been washed a few days before it was put on!
A few comments from yesterday seemed to wonder about the towels I mentioned.
Okay. I'm going to try to approach this subject as delicately as I can. I mean, I consider this a PG-13 kind of place and all.
But, we all know I'm married. So, one could come to the logical conclusion that marital congress takes place on a regular basis. Well, more than just regular. The Evil Twin and I are horndogs.
I don't like to divulge information that pertains to anyone in this house, in a personal manner, except myself. It is only MY blog after all. But, yes, we have towels. Special towels.
The Evil Twin does not like to make deposits "at the bank" so to speak, unless we were actively trying to get pregnant and even though he has had a vasectomy, he prefers no direct deposits. I'm okay with that. But, I end up being splattered. Sorry for the TMI there. I really am sorry. But, in order to tell this story... well, it just is what it is.
Early on in our relationship, we just used really ratty old towels that we designated for usage as "jizz rags". Yep, you read that right. Rags to wipe up ejaculation.
We finally got to the point where we only had about three threadbare towels that were in constant rotation (we don't use the common household towels or washcloths).
We had gone shopping on Saturday and I picked up a large lot of towels from a big box store, but exclusive club type store and washed and folded them. These then became the towels we used for Sissy's stomach bug.
They've been washed and dried several times over these last few days and they're super soft now.
And, for future knowledge, they are NOT just sitting around in full view.
There IS a door! Sheesh.
Ahhh, a fresh stack. Bet that won't last long! Hee!
Knew It!
ReplyDeleteBtw ~ too much info.xx
tee hee- what a gorgeous post !!!
ReplyDeletehorndogs !!!
excellent..........
all in favour of marriage bed towels say 'aye'
( my sister used to call them yuck rags)
oh i love a grown up blog !!!!
Good to wake up with a laugh. You're killing me! LOL
ReplyDeleteLOL... too funny! and surprisingly honest ;)
ReplyDeleteHausfrau..........why you've gone and made me blush girly.
ReplyDeleteI mean.........Hausfrau????
Hahahahaha.........Prince and I are a littleon the frisky side as well. Especially for a couple of mid lifer's. Hey, the fact that you can't get knocked up is pretty applealing you know?
I mean......I can't get knocked up can I??? If so, where would the nearest volcano be that I could hurl meself into????
Just too old for all that virusy stuff and all but it sounds like you are handling it brilliantly :)
Steady On
Reggie Girl
Remind me not to wash my face the next time I come over....
ReplyDeleteI am afraid to say what I wanna say.
ReplyDeleteIf he is "fixed" I am confused as to why he won't.. ya know?
It feels so much better for the him.. or so I thought.
I am fixed and we do not use towels in that way. We just share a shower.
Confused. Is this the norm?
Am I Abby Normal?
Wow...not really what I expected. ;-)
ReplyDeleteroflmaooo...TOTALLY what *I* expected ;)
ReplyDeleteHave a jizztacular day!! (you so crack me up)
What did people think it was for??? Doesn't everyone have "special towells"? Doing the deed is sometimes dirty...in more ways then one! LOL!
ReplyDeleteYou crack me up with your candor and I LOVE IT!
What I said yesterday...about your kids...someday when they read this...wow, they are gonna just die! Just remember...they are choosing your nursing home!
ReplyDeleteWhy didn't I think of storing special towels in the bedroom? First off - I am totally jealous that you and your hubby have a need for that many towels.
ReplyDeleteWhen BF makes his deposits we hunt around the room afterwards for a towel I've left around, and if we can't find anything, we just use his boxer shorts. Hahaha now THATS tmi !!
Great post!
Natalie - I disclosed that it was TMI in the post. Hee hee!
ReplyDeleteLisa - glad you liked it!
Blair - Apparently, I'm shameless!
LL - I'm nothing if not honest.:-)
Reggie - I made myself blush, too!
JA - these aren't in the regular house towel rotation. Our bath towels are totally safe.
Barbra - It's just his preference. Even before the V, that's what he liked. To each his own.
Kathleen - It is what it is.
Elle - Thanks - and I will!
Chandra - Yep, bearing my shame for all.... ;-)
Warren - this blog will be long gone before I am. :-)
Vinomom - Just buy a big stack of cheapies somewhere! ;-)
That's a lot of towels. Just sayin'.
ReplyDeleteI knew it! I'm not tellin' how I knew it - But, I did!! hehehehe :)-
ReplyDeleteIf I had a pile of towels like that they'd have a layer of dust on them, or I'd give them to the kids to use when I ran out of bath towels (we have sanitize wash and dry on our machines that all towels are put through anyway).
ReplyDeleteI'm interested in the same thing Barbra was, but hey, whatever. It all ends up spooged all over the place anyway, regardless.
My sister and her husband's "let's do it" signal was always a towel on the bottom of the bed placed there by whichever party. How romantical!
Not tonight dear, I have to do laundry!
I'm just really glad to see that none of the towels were stuck on the side of the cabinet :)
ReplyDeleteNow you've gone and made me miss my most beloved jizz towel ever: a kitchen-sized Elvis postage stamp towel that Twisted Shit stole on his way out the door.
ReplyDeleteHappy towel-using to your and yours! Glad to hear Sissy's feeling better.
I also knew exactly what they were for! How did you, you ask? I think you can figure it out!
ReplyDeleteWell now. Learn a little something new every day, say I.
ReplyDeleteAhem.
Shocking...your towels are neater than my shirt drawer. I need to tidy up. Shocking I say.
ReplyDeleteAwesome ETW, just awesome. LMAO at how you started out trying to be all tasteful and delicate, and then you" through in the towel" so to speak.LMAO
ReplyDeleteRRROOOOTTTFFFFFF! I needed that laugh today! Mine are in the nightstand drawer out of view, too!
ReplyDeletewhy are so many people shocked? you gotsta clean up SOMEhow...
ReplyDeleteLMAO Oy, the images! Icky! lol We always used baby wipes which will forever after be thought of as "sex wipes" by me. :)
ReplyDelete3C - you know my boy scout mentality of being prepared... LOL.
ReplyDeleteTGG - You're not telling because you have the SAME stack of towels! Am I right?
Karla - too funny about the (imaginary) dusty towels! And, I answered Barbra above. :-)
Ron - we're not animals! LOL.
BB - Aw....sorry! We'll have to find a new one for you. Have you seen the Tenacious D official Cum Rag? That's a nice one.
Trisha - because you, me and TGG are in the same boat! LOL.
Tiff - I'm an educational font of knowledge over here!
Robyn - The Evil Twin is former Air Force. All things are tidy here.
powdergirl - I wanted to keep it "clean", but some things can not be danced around. So, I just blurt it out! LOL.
JFab - there seems to be quite a little club of us "towel" types here.
fattie20xl - I know. What? I'm supposed to walk around all crusty? LOL.
Honeywine - whatever works, sweetie! :-)
I love it! I sort of thought that was the reason, but the way you explained it was priceless! Thanks for the giggle!
ReplyDeleteI figured it out. BUt it's nice to know that people can be open and honest about stuff, even private stuff. It will give me the courage to write some more personal blogs instead of these stupid dumb crazy lists and silly stories that have no meaning, except for a laugh.
ReplyDeleteOMG... I'm freaking laughing my ASS off right now! That sounds just like Britt and I. I never thought to keep a little stash like that under my night stand. I'm going to have to start doing that! :)
ReplyDeleteHugs - Tiff
I remember a previous post about jizz rags....you are a hoot. glad sissy is feeling a little better.
ReplyDeleteI figured that's what those towels were for! That's so funny!
ReplyDeleteI figured that's what those towels were for! That's so funny!
ReplyDeleteMomma - I am going straight to hell.
ReplyDeleteRed - I just lay my cards on the table, and hope for the best... LOL.
Tiff - glad to help out with a tip! :-)
rosemary - I'm so juvenile, but I love it! LOL.
Jen - Yep, I'm a goober. ;-)
LOL that is what I thought and I said wow great idea! ha-ha
ReplyDeleteMy motto is "You can never have too many jizz towels."
ReplyDeleteI am learning a lot about signals and stuff from your blog.
My personal favorite is, if she takes a shower, then it must me party time. And her shower towel comes in handy.
...Al...
Okay then. Now I know.
ReplyDeleteWhy not just a roll of Brawny? No clean up. :P
ReplyDeleteAnd to think I read this at work ...
ReplyDeleteLOL!