I'm going to have to give a little back story on this for those who are new or don't remember every detail of my life (as if I expect anyone to -- I can't keep up with my own stuff, much less anyone else's! LOL).
Many of you know that I was adopted as an infant. I always knew I was adopted. My parents never hid the fact from me.
Growing up, my friends would ask me, "Aren't you curious?" or "Don't you want to know your biological mother?" In my mind, I had parents and so, I didn't have a strong desire to seek out any more information. My parents were the ones who raised me, loved me, supported me, etc.
My adoption was a closed adoption, meaning that there was very little information exchanged. According to my parents, they were told that my biological family had no history of medical issues (at the time, which was 1968).
After Buddy was born, I became more curious about my biological background, mainly just to find out medical info. The Evil Twin was adopted by his father, so we only had one biological parent (his mother) to look to for genetic history, ethnic history, etc.
The summer before my dad passed away, he had told me about a box in his closet that had files I would "be interested in." I told him that I would look at them eventually. Well, fast forward a little over year later and my mom was sick and in the hospital. When I went to their house to retrieve something for her, I decided to look in that box.
No one else was at the house at that point.
When I looked, there were files related to my adoption. Imagine my surprise when I saw documentation on a name change. I had been given a first, middle and last name at birth, which was later changed by my parents (they only gave me a first and last name, because they are both long).
Also included was a form to send away to the state of Alabama requesting an original birth certificate and other forms in a closed adoption file, since Alabama had changed their regulations on obtaining that information in 2000 or 2002... I filled out the form and sent a check for $20.
I got my original birth certificate and now I had the name of my biological mother. So, I started searching in earnest and put information on several adoption sites that help reunite families.
Long story short: a friend of my biological mother found my info on one of the sites and my biological sister contacted me last July. For a year, we've all corresponded by phone and email. I've seen pictures of everyone and my sister and I could be twins.
Tomorrow, we head South to see the Evil Twin's brother and his wife and our two nieces. My biological mother lives an hour South of them, so we are going to meet her for lunch on Friday!
I've never met her, so this will be very interesting. I plan on taking old photo albums, so she can "fill in the blanks" and see how I was raised and see how loved I had been by my parents.
Unfortunately, my biological sister (who lives in Georgia) won't be able to make it up, but I will get together with her soon, I'm sure. She wants to come visit me here - and we've got plenty of room, so I would love that.
So, I'll be out of town for a couple of days. I'll take my laptop and the hotel we're staying does have internet access, so I'll try to keep up with y'all there, but I can't promise any updates from me. I will try.
Until then, have a great weekend!!! I'll bring back pictures. :-)
That is soooooo exciting -- I know you can't wait! I'm anxiously awaiting stories AND pics!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm so excited for you! Can't wait to hear more...and soon! :)
ReplyDeleteWell that should be interesting to say the least. How exciting! I mean now's the chance to see if you have any habits that are genetically linked like.... ummm say you both eat your soup with a fork, but neither of you have ever met :0
ReplyDeletewordnerd - I'm excited and nervous!
ReplyDeleteLaura - we'll catch up more today.
Ron - I know! I think we're a lot alike in many ways just getting to know her on the phone.
I really think this will be a great experience for all of you. I can't wait to hear about it when you get a chance. If it was me, I'd be taking a bunch of Kleenex. I'm a cryer when it comes to big family stuff. Happy tears. Melancholy tears. Tears of joy and laughter. And that other kind. I figure holding back emotion is harder on me than just letting it wash like a stream over me. I just can't imagine how excited you must be.
ReplyDeleteHave a safe trip. Tell TET's baby brother that whenever I think of him the first thought that comes to mind was TET putting on a bubblegum record and the two of them twisting like noboby's business. He always cracked me up.
WOW! That is sooooooooooo exciting and I'm sure, a little scary.
ReplyDeleteThats just great and I'm very excited for you, ETW!!
WOW - what an awesome story! I can't wait to hear how everything turns out. Have a wonderful trip and take lots of pictures!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm new to your blog, but wanted to chime in as well, it sounds so very exciting to finally get to visit your past, the people who laid the genetic ground work to help make you who you are today.
ReplyDeleteHave a great trip.
That is great news! I'm very excited for you :) Have a wonderful time!
ReplyDeleteYou know I have "been there-done that". I wish you good luck in the meeting, and hope that she is all you hoped for.
ReplyDeleteI will have a good story in a day or two, when I write about meeting more of my birth family members. We will have to share info soon.
That is very exciting for both sides of your families. Of course it's a little scary too--with your sister looking so much like you, it's like there's two of you and that might be more than the world can handle. Time will tell.
ReplyDeleteI hope that you connect well with your biological mother, and that all goes well with your husband's family too.
That's awesome! I hope you have a wonderful trip!!!
ReplyDeleteBB - we'll be sure to tell him you said hi.
ReplyDeleteEfen - it is a bit scary, but it's happening pretty smoothly, so I'm ok (for now).
T - Have Canon, will travel!
Scott - thanks for dropping by. I'm sure I'll have more observations after the trip.
Carolyn - thanks! We're looking forward to it.
kenju - I know we will have much to discuss in August if we get to meet then.
Dave - we've all been talking 2 x a week for a year now, so I think we have a pretty good handle on personalities (my bio mom and I have the same sense of humor!).
Diva - Thanks - I think it'll be a fun time.
Sounds Exciting!!!
ReplyDeleteMy father left sons scattered everywhere, but brothers or family for that matter are so much more than a name or common father...I do hope you find all that you are looking for.
ReplyDeleteI came across your blog via Momma's Kitchen. I am a mom of two great children as well (a boy who is 3 and a girl who is 15 months). Wow, sounds like you have a wonderful time ahead of you this weekend. BTW, I love the slow cooker recipe for the subs you have on your other blog - YUM. Shared it with my sisters, mom, and best friend. Everyone loved it. Take Care, and good luck this weekend.
ReplyDeleteWOW! That is going to be huge. It's so hard not to have expectations. It's kind of nice that so many of the adoptions now are open adoptions; it saves all the questioning and searching. I'll have my fingers crossed for you.
ReplyDeleteNCP - should be interesting...
ReplyDeletebossinjo - I think we'll always be good friends (with a biological tie).
gigi - welcome to my li'l bit of madness. Thanks for visiting! I'm glad you like the recipe - it's one we love as well. Thanks for the well wishes, too!
I'm so happy you're finally getting the chance to meet face to face. I hope you have a safe trip and everything goes well.
ReplyDeleteI'll be sending good vibes your way. Can't wait to hear all about it.
BTW...I missed you too while I was gone!!!
honeywine - I appreciate it!
ReplyDeleteBG - it just seems right to meet now, ya know? I'm sure I'll be a nervous wreck on Friday, but right now, I feel zen.
Awesome.
ReplyDeleteSomething similar will eventually be on my husband's horizon. It's a much more cautious thing, especially on his birth mother's side, but that's fine... a little caution is better than more drama right now, methinks.
I hope the visit goes smoothly and happily for all y'all.
Having "been there and done that", I can truly understand the thoughts and feelings you are going through. It has been 16 years since I found all the "biologicals." I wouldn't trade that time for anything. All the best and I will be thinking about you. Cannot wait to hear how everything transpired. {{{GOOD WISHES COMING YOUR WAY!!}}}
ReplyDeleteI was adopted and have known since I was a tot. I tried to find my Bio mom with very little luck. But I got a "phone call" ten years ago and it seems I had fathered a son. He was 30 when I met him and we had many of the same manorisms(sp?). It is amazing how similar we both are. Good luck and enjoy the visit.
ReplyDeleteGreg T
kate - I think it will go very well.
ReplyDeletethemom - thanks! I'm so fortunate to have this opportunity.
Greg- if you want help for searching, I'd be happy to give you my tips or even do the research for you. Just email me at eviltwinswife@gmail.com.
I am so happy for you! Have a wonderful time!
ReplyDeleteIf you plan to stop anywhere between Raleigh and Fayetteville, NC, give me a holler!
Good luck!! How exciting for you all..
ReplyDeleteon another subject..I received my shipment from omni supplements - I had ordered the Thai Deoderant Stone as recommended. Imagine my surprise when I opened the box to find two bottles of 'B-12 Dots'. ??? What the??? some type of supplement. So they have to repack my order. Imagine the poor fellow that opened his box and received a deoderant stone by mistake!