I Am So Gross

For a few weeks, I kept having a problem with lint or fuzz or something landing around my one nostril. Always the left one.

I'd put my hand up and swipe back and forth to try to remove the offending debris.

I was thinking, "Cat hair?" Perhaps....But it kept happening. So, I was confused. Why do I always have a weird "fuzz bit" on my left nostril? I'm a little slow on the uptake, so after a few weeks, I decided it was time to investigate.

I located the stray bit and pulled on it. OUCH! It was then I realized that the "fuzz" was actually a flipping NOSE HAIR that was slowly creeping out of my nostril, much like Spanish Moss would do to a tree.

I have to imagine that it was white or clear (I was in bed and half asleep when this epiphany hit me), because how could I miss a long nose hair when I do my make-up every day in a magnifying mirror. I mean, I don't even miss a stray eyebrow.

Still, I wonder, "How many people saw my renegade nose hair and just let it go?" Ugh.

Getting old, my friends, is interesting to say the least.

And with that, I am off to shower world. After wards, I'll be sure to scrutinize every square inch of skin to locate - and eliminate - any wayward hairs. Honestly, if I were a scientist, I'd be working on the "Complete Body Hair Laser Removal Chamber". Step in, turn it on, and every hair below the neck is permanently no longer an issue! Imagine what you'd save in shaving apparatus (apparati?)I mean, I'm already so cheap, I use the Evil Twin's used blades on my razor. At over $10 for a 5 pack and he only uses them 3 times on his face, it makes sense for me to pick up the slack and wear those bastards out on my not so sensitive (as a face) body parts.

And, finally, speaking of shaving, I'd like to share a video I saw from Kenju:



Enjoy your Tuesday, hooligans. I have much work to do and next to no time to do it.

Time to mow the lawn!

Love,