The Glamorous Life of a Hausfrau: September 2009

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

No Offense, Ma'am

Opinions are like assholes - everyone has one. Except maybe someone unfortunate enough to be born without a butthole....I think they can surgically fix that. I digress.

I don't know, it just seems like there are so many people who are really judgey these days.

Having majored in Journalism, I have a problem with censorship. Of course, there are the no-brainer type things such as stopping a person from running into a crowded theatre and yelling "Fire!" is not censorship.

Things that are illegal are exceptions too. Say, child pornography. Not only should it be censored, but it shouldn't happen in the first place.

Otherwise, I prescribe to the quote credited to Voltaire: "I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it."

I was lucky to grow up with parents who didn't censor what I read. What I watched was somewhat monitored (i.e. they weren't about to dump me off at the movies for an R rated film at the age of 10 or anything like that). But, I often stayed up much later than the rest of the family and watched shows like Saturday Night Live in the 70s. My mom never said "No" when I flashed the newest issue of "Mad" magazine at her.

My dad and I had a special ritual - just the two of us. We would go to the library, every two weeks like clockwork. I was allowed to check out anything that caught my eye. I would often have a stack of books I could barely carry out!

The Evil Twin are like that with our own kids. I don't flip through the books Buddy brings home from the school library. If he's reading, he's learning!

We're a crass and inappropriate family. Sissy doesn't stand a chance.

We enjoy singing the Diarrhea Song and making up new lyrics (if your stomach starts to cramp and your pants are really damp - diarrhea, etc.).

Just last night, I was walking - briskly - past Buddy who said, "I have hiccups." I looked at him and said, "I have diarrhea, wanna trade?"

No dice.

But, just like double dipping, we let the kids know the kinds of things we joke around about here should be kept in the family because some people have "issues" with certain jokes or words.

That's a shame. We could all use more laughter. :-)

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

721 - I got nothing

So, I spent my day yesterday flipping through the dictionary to assign 5 random words to those who asked for them. It was actually fun. I did try to shy away from words that I felt would be difficult to really write anything about.

I'm looking forward to everyone's answers.

I'm thinking that it really is fall time already. It was chilly this morning. Time to break out the jeans. Yuck. I prefer short and bare feet! :-)

I'm really going to miss the warm weather.

I broke out the space heater this morning to knock the chill off a bit. I refuse to turn on the heat just yet. Besides, we have gas heat and the prices keep going up, so lord knows if we'll even be able to afford the bills this year.

It's a good thing my family likes pinto beans and cornbread! ;-)I see lots of that in our future!

Monday, September 28, 2009

Monday Five

I got this meme from Karen at Smilin' Thru It All. I think it's supposed to be a Friday thing, but she bucked the system and did it on Sunday. I asked to play along and I'm going to also be a rebel and post it on Monday! So, put that in your pipe and smoke it!

The way this works is that she gives me five words, upon which I am supposed to show you my awesomeness about my thoughts on these words. Or something like that.

If you want to play along, leave a comment and I'll flip thru a dictionary and send you five words.

1. Gold - I only wear white gold. Yellow gold looks hideous with my skin tone. If it's not white gold, then it's sterling silver or at least silver colored. In fact, I am in the process of eliminating all yellow gold touches in our house as well. It gives me a goal in life. LOL.

2. Vacation - I'm mostly a homebody, but I do like to get away for a few days sometimes. Right now, my family is begging for a trip to the beach in Summer 2010. I'll see what I can do. Even though I swore off all family vacations after the Disney World Debacle of 2009.

3. Opera - Not much a fan of operas, but I have enjoyed a few in my lifetime. I also think anyone who can sing opera is exceedingly talented. It has to be difficult to hold those notes!

4. Feminism - I know you'll all be shocked to know that I am not a fan of feminism. I personally blame Gloria Steinem for the downfall of the nuclear family and all those other "I am woman, hear me roar" types of the early 70s. Now, we all know that females are the stronger gender - we make it all happen behind the scenes. I pay all the bills here, I go over the finances on a regular basis and basically do anything that doesn't involve yard work. The Evil Twin supports us by working and I tend to all the day to day activities/needs. I love getting mail from my sister in law. She always addresses the envelopes to Mrs. (His name) (Our last name). I'm the Mrs., so I know it's for me. The Evil Twin has his role and I have mine and we're happy with that. Sure, it's traditional, but we're not sticks in the mud, either. We love to have a good time and we love to laugh about stupid stuff. I could practically write a whole post on just this subject alone. Just so you know, I come from a long line of traditional women. One of my aunts never knew how a gas pump worked. I do pump my own gas. :-)

5. Watermelon - I love watermelon and honeydew melons. Not a big fan of the canteloupe, though. But, I love anything to do with watermelon - the smell, the taste...in candy form, liquid form, whatever. It's funny: the Evil Twin's mom was so sick when she was pregnant with him, all she could keep down was watermelon. Her doctor prescribed Thalidomide (later found to cause birth defects, but she only took one and said it didn't help - good thing because the Evil Twin might be sporting flippers for arms - not that there's anything wrong with that). Anyway, HE hates melons. I think that's unAmerican. Watermelon is a darn near perfect food. Add salt and you've got a party!

This was fun! :-)

Friday, September 25, 2009

My Favorite Season

And, no, I'm not talking about Fall. I'm talking 'bout "Survivor" is back on! I don't know what it is about that show, but I am full on addicted to it. Seeing as how I really don't watch much TV, I don't feel bad about loving a reality show. I know they get a bum rap.

But Survivor is nothing like the smarmy "Bachelor" or "Flava of Love" or whatever it's called.

Survivor puts a number of very different individuals in a remote location with nothing and it's a lesson in sociology for me. I enjoy seeing the way different personalities will either get along or not.

Plus, they have to be thinking ahead in order to not be on the chopping block each week, and be physically strong enough for most of the challenges - as some of the challenges are definitely more reliant on a player's mental acuity than their brawn.

One question: Are there alligators in Samoa? If so, there is already one guy I would like to see eaten by one.

I'm sure if you're watching you know exactly who it is. This lying sleazeball walks around in his dirty drawers and you can clearly see the outline of his tiny jingling junk. Ick!

Come to think of it, perhaps even an alligator has standards and he would fall so far below that! LOL.

So, YAY! Survivor.

Don't call my house at 8pm on Thursdays for a bit. :-)

Hope you hooligans have a great weekend!

Thursday, September 24, 2009

In A Funk

I've been feeling blah lately and completely unmotivated. I know this is a multi-faceted funk, which should pass soon.

Exhibit A: The situation with my ex-friend has me worried about him and sad for me.

Exhibit B: The 5th anniversary of my dad's death was Sept. 17.

Exhibit C: The 4th anniversary of my mom's death is Nov. 26.

Exhibit D: My monthly friend has swooped in for an uninvited visit.

Exhibit E: I had a phone conversation early in the week with someone I am trying really hard to forgive and I'm finding it difficult to find that forgiveness. After I got off the phone, my blood pressure was 142/106. That's how hard it was to have that conversation.

There are a couple of things that have cheered me up the last few days, so I don't have to leave this on a Debbie Downer note.

One thing is this commercial. Embedding is disabled by request, so you have to clicky. Don't worry, it's totally safe for work, kids, pets and household plants.

It makes me laugh every time I see it. It's that voice!

Then there's this:

I've seen it on Facebook and several other blogs, but I watch it every.single.time. How cute is that?

So, see? Not all gloom and doom here. I'll snap out of it.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Eventually, I Get Aroud To It

I have been such a blog slacker recently. I usually try to start composing mine the evening before, but I've gotten into a habit where I try to get around to all the blogs I love to read and by the time I'm finished, I'm too ~~buzzed~~ tired to deal with it.

So, I think, "Well, I'll just do it in the morning." I mean, I AM up at 6:30, and once every one has gotten breakfast, and I've packed lunches and the Evil Twin and Buddy leave, I have a block of time where I *could* do something. But, instead I decide to be lazy.

I guess part of my lack of motivation is that I'm still getting used to the new school routine. It's weird. At the elementary school, Buddy's day ended at 2:45, at the new school, it's 2:55. Now, a ten minute gap may not be something most people would get all hinky about, but come on, we're talking about me here.

Since this school is much closer (.7 of a mile as opposed to 1.9 miles - ha ha), I really CAN wait til the last minute and not have to worry about being stuck at a red light or anything and I can still get a good spot. So, it makes me feel like my afternoons drag out a little longer than before.

But, I'm getting used to it and I actually really like it. It's much less stressful than having to leave early enough to jockey for a good parking spot at the elementary school, plus it gives me a little extra time to catch up on housework, etc. (blogs).

I figured I would add a little extra something today. It's footage of what I see from my front door. The leaves are turning a bit already. It's just lovely. When the camera is to the left, that is where we can see the fireworks over the Kanawha River from our front yard. It's very peaceful up here.

It's just a short little clip, totally safe for work or kids. In fact, you can hear Sissy behind me saying "I wanna go wif you." Even though I had told her I wasn't going anywhere and I'd only be outside for a moment.

Happy Hump Day and I'll be around to visit all you hooligans after 3 pm.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

More Thoughts

Thanks for all the words of support yesterday. I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to respond, but Monday is my "busiest" day. That means: I head to the grocery store about mid-day, after I spend the morning catching up on as many blogs as I can, then I shop until around 2 ish and swoop around and pick up Buddy from school.

That way, I don't have to do too much getting Sissy in and out of the van a million times and he can keep an eye on her while I drag the groceries in.

At any rate, I'll be better about the replies today.

I can't say too much, but I did get some insight on the situation from a mutual friend and I know it's not about me and it's not only me. There! I feel better already.

It's really funny, actually, because the Evil Twin is agnostic - we both were when we got married, then I converted to Catholicism (after being raised Southern Baptist) back when Buddy was in pre-school. Should the Evil Twin divorce me? LOL. Amazingly, he is and has been very supportive in my decision for myself and the children to be raised in the Catholic faith.

There are a number of ideals within the Church that I disagree with, but the Catholic Church is a 2000 year old institution and is not known for it's ability for change! :-)

One of the things I like the best about the faith is their inclusive nature. When we attend functions at my parish church, the Evil Twin will openly admit he is agnostic and he is treated no differently than anyone else. That makes me proud because that is spreading the faith by deed, not word.

Random thought of the day: Why are those who scream loudest about tolerance the least tolerant among us?

Peace and love to all,

Monday, September 21, 2009

Huh?

I recently found someone I've known for over 20 years on Facebook, so I sent him a friend request and never heard from him, then I realized he was no longer listed as "pending friend request", so I know that he's ignored it or denied or whatever FB calls it.

Hmmmm. Ok. Maybe there's something on his page he doesn't want me to see. Fine.

So, I sent a message and heard nothing. Then I sent an email to his regular email address and got this reply:

"We have nothing in common. You are a conservative catholic,
and I am an anarchist agnostic. And I'm not interested in Charleston
gossip.

btw, I am separated from XXXXXXX.

Please leave me alone.

Thanks."

Not once in the over 20 years we've known each other have we discussed politics or religion. These were merely facts he knew about me.

I think at some point, about 10 years ago, we were on the phone and I said something along the lines of "Who would ever have thought this punk rock girl would grow up to be a Conservative Catholic Mom who drives a mini-van and likes to knit? Even though I'm still a rebel inside."

We both laughed about it and that was that.

Now, when we first met, I was 19 and he was 22. We dated for a couple of years and then had a somewhat amicable split, but since we ran around with the same people, we remained friends. Even after he moved to a different state, we kept in touch. Pre-internet days, we would send letters. Then, we would email or talk by phone.

Also, he and the Evil Twin knew each other before I had met either of them, so they were friends.

He received his masters degree in Filmmaking, so when the Evil Twin and I got married, we hired him to do the video.

He ended up getting married about 5 years ago - we had met his wife and really liked her - I sent a very nice wedding gift.

After that, I tried to be mindful of how I might be portrayed (as the ex) or whatever, but I think she knew I was no threat. She and I spoke on the phone several times. The conversations were always nice and the "Hey, how's everyone doing?" type.

When my (I guess now ex) friend and I spoke or emailed, it was always the same sort of general chit chat. How's it going? etc.

The last time I had emailed him was in March of this year. I was asking about a photography website he had and I was trying to find it again (I lost all my bookmarks when my old laptop broke and I had to get a new one).

This was the reply, 6 months ago:

"Everything's good here, though this winter wasn't without its stresses and trials. Looking forward to Spring and the good riding weather it brings with
it.

Hope all's well your way,"

Very different tone in the messages. So, I have to think there is more behind this than our political and religious differences. It was never an issue during our friendship - ever. And furthermore, he knew these two things about me a long time ago. You'd think if it pissed him off, he would have cut me loose long before now.

It's just really hurt my feelings and I'm still left wondering WTF?

Besides, anyone over the age of 20 who believes that "Anarchy" is an appropriate political stance gets marked as "bat shit crazy" in my book.

He's not worth my time.

Friday, September 18, 2009

My Shopping Trip

I've been thinking about my trip to Target on Wednesday - and yes, I did manage to find the exact same wine glasses that I had bought before. Now, I have 5 of them!

I best not get TOO excited about them, otherwise, they'll all break, run away, etc. That's just my luck. :-)

This has been a good morning so far! I'm glad it's Friday...which, really, if you think about it, is kind of weird. I mean, every day is basically the same for me. But, I'll be happy to have the Evil Twin home and not have to pick up Buddy from school for a couple of days.

I'm feeling SO slovenly and lazy these days. Maybe it's the cooler weather. Maybe it's the fact that yesterday marked 5 years since my dad passed away. Who knows?

Random thought for the day: I wish someone would send me a lot of money. Perhaps I should try to auction off my used panties on eBay?

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Weirdness

So, I went to Target yesterday. It was good - I found everything I needed and just browsed for a bit as well.

I ended up with a container of half & half, a frozen pizza and some corndogs. I was also getting pressed for time, so I decided to forgo the HD trip. I maybe should have gone there first. But, it was over 80 here and I didn't want my perishable items to be in a position to develop eColi or botulism or whatever.

I did drop the necklace off and pay the bill at the bank, so I did most of my list.

The craziest part of my day was checking out at Target.

The clerk was a nice young lady who greeted me pleasantly. Then, she said, "I just saw Rachel not too long ago. She got her hair cut."

I replied, "Really?" as I desperately read her nametag and looked at her face again. No recollection of this person whatsoever. But, I didn't say anything.

And, she went on, "Did you hear about the whole boat thing?"

Mustering up my best acting skillz, I said, "No, what boat thing?"

She continued with her story - she was half mumbling, so I could only catch bits and pieces of the story.

Something about the pastor made the right decision and there's another one coming up in October.

I smiled cheerfully and said, "That's just around the corner!"

And she nodded knowingly.

At no point during our conversation did she ever seem "unsure" about my identity.

Then she carded me for the really cute little "cube" of wine (Chardonnay) I purchased.... I thought, "The jig is up.", but she actually did not look at the front of the license, she just scanned the back (ours have some sort of weird bar code thingie) and handed it back to me.

What.Ever.

I couldn't wait to get out of there! LOL.

And for those of you who happen to love my cleavage shots, here's one I took the other evening with my webcam. I had it as my Twitter avatar, but got one nasty comment (from a female, who I don't even really know), so I changed it back to my regular Twitter avatar.

Anyhoodle, I think this is one of the best shots I've gotten so far. Same ol' shit, different angle. Enjoy!

Have a great Thursday!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Wednesday Shenanigans

I have a few errands to run today. First stop will be a jewelry shop to drop off my pearl necklace that the strand broke, plus it needs a new clasp (I was using a teeny safety pin! No one ever said I'm not resourceful...), then I'm going to head up to Target and see if I can find more wine glasses like the all but one that have been broken/gone missing. If I have time, I may run up to Home Depot (Or the Deep Homo, as I lovingly refer to it) and pick up some paint samples.

We have several stuck to the wall already, but since we plan on buying the paint at HD, it seems fitting to bring home THEIR samples because we might not be able to match ones from somewhere else.

Then I need to go to our old bank and run through the drive through to pay a bill. I would have done it online, but it takes several days to go through and it's due on Friday, so I may as well just drop it by.

Last stop will be to pick up Buddy from school, then home! For laundry! And emptying the dishwasher! And other assorted chores. I'm telling ya.... I don't know how my life managed to get SO exciting!

I'm outta here...

ETW

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Ho Hum

Things have been rather dull around here lately. I have a few ideas ruminating in my mind, but I can't get them to "gel" just yet. Maybe in a day or two.

My wallpaper removal project is coming along nicely. We've hit a little snag, but perhaps I will vlog that this evening for tomorrow's post. At this point, we're looking at paint colors and trying to decide on something.

Amazingly enough, the Evil Twin has not had his usual puckered asshole about home remodeling projects. He tends to get a little tense when the house is not in proper order, but he's been really calm this time around.

I guess he realizes, that except for the downstairs bathroom, this is our last paint project. And the downstairs bathroom is just going to be a repaint - there is no wallpaper, thank goodness. And, it's not a huge room, either.

So, that's pretty much it. Thanks for all the get well wishes! I think it's just a mild cold and hopefully, it won't hang around long! :-)

Monday, September 14, 2009

A Quickie

I have been feeling a little under the weather for a few days, probably a little cold or something.

I have a doctor's appointment in a bit. This is actually a follow up appointment that was set months ago, so I guess it's kind of good timing seeing as how I have the creeping crud anyway.

I haven't had a chance to check blogs this morning, but I will get around to them all this afternoon. So, expect me after 3 pm EST!

ETW

Friday, September 11, 2009

I Will Never Forget - UPDATED

A week or so ago, I was tipped off by wordnerd about Project 2996. Dale Roe organizes this every year.

The basic gist of it is that he will assign a name of a victim of 9-11 for each person who signs up to write about that victim and keep their memory alive.

I didn't know anyone personally who died on that tragic day, so I asked to be assigned any name.

I'm honored to have been assigned Ronnie Lee Henderson. He was a fire fighter with the FDNY and lost his life at the World Trade Center.

He was only 52 years old and was from Newburgh, NY.

I know we will never know how many lives he saved that day or how many people he provided aid to in their time of need before he lost his own life, but the fact that he was just there makes him a hero in my book.

You can read a short tribute to him from the New York Times here.

UPDATE: The Evil Twin told me that the link didn't work for him, so I transcribed the info here. This is from the collected “Portraits of Grief” from the New York Times:

Ronnie Lee Henderson
“An Abundance of Family”

He may have been earning a fireman’s salary, but Ronnie Lee Henderson planned all along to turn that into more. He pared money from his paycheck and put it into bonds and mutual funds. In the quiet hours at the Engine Company 270 firehouse in Red Hook, he could be found reading books with titles like “How to Make Money Buying and Selling Houses”.

“I’d say to him, ‘What are you reading? You’re a fireman, you know what we get paid.’”said a friend, Gary Kakeh.

The father of four children, Mr. Henderson also helped raise his five younger siblings. His advice to all of them was consistent: stay in school, save your money. He figured out travel routes that enabled him to avoid paying bridge and tunnel tolls, and would stand in line for hours to get the store specials, said his sister, Sharon.

As a teenager, he got a job in a Frito-Lay factory and got to bring home the extra potato chips. Naturally, he shared with the rest of his family. “And he’d charge us a nickel,” she added.

“He was always telling us he was going to be a millionaire,” Ms. Henderson said. “He was a millionaire, by his heart.”

If you have a quick moment, please say a prayer (or send a positive thought, if you're not the praying type) for Ronnie Lee Henderson and ALL the victims of that horrible day.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

The Case of the Missing Wine Glass

Several years ago, I purchased some wine glasses. There were 4 in the package and I remember that they were relatively inexpensive....I think I got them at Target.

Even though the price was cheap, they don't "feel" cheap.

Almost immediately after purchasing them, I dropped one and broke it. So, I was down to 3. Oh well....

Then I was at another store (probably the Mart of Wal) and spied a set of 4 wine glasses for a ridiculously cheap price, I figured if I needed 4 glasses, they might come in handy, since my "good" ones were down to 3.

These are really cheap feeling, but functional and if I take a glass out on the patio, I'll chose one of these because I don't care if I break one.

Of course, I still have all 4 of these.

The other day, the Evil Twin was rearranging the dishwasher and broke one of my "good" glasses. I was disappointed, but still had 2 left, right? Yep, that would work and I can always use the cheaper ones in a pinch.

And, thusly, this was working out good for me.

Until another one of my "good" ones went missing! Now, I am down to ONE! No one broke one, I don't walk around the house with them, so it's not as if I would misplace one.

I have looked in ALL the cabinets thoroughly to check if one had been placed in an odd spot by accident.

That wine glass is nowhere to be found. I've even looked under the couches and beds - and of course, what would it be doing there anyway?? But, I still had to look - just in case.

It's driving me mad, I tell ya!

If anyone has any information on my missing wine glass, let me know, k? Meanwhile, I will let you know if the renegade wine glass turns up on its' own, too.

I'll probably go buy a new set and THEN find it. :-)

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

I Love The Count

Once again, the Evil Twin told me about a video that is hands down hilarious!

It is not NSFW, but it is a little bawdy. Kids won't get it and your boss won't fire you for it (I hope, if s/he does, s/he needs to run to "Sense of Humor R Us" and buy a BIG one).

Hope this gets your Wednesday morning off to a good start. I have a busy day ahead, myself. That's good though, because it means I'm shaking myself out of my lazy summer mentality! :-)

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Blogged Down By Life

It seems like I'm busy doing everything and nothing at the same time. Still working on getting used to the "new" routine and then throw in a holiday weekend... well, I may never be in sync until the end of September.

But, I did enjoy the long weekend. I spent plenty of time on my wallpaper project, which I will do an update on for a different day.

I have to pace myself, ya know?

Anyhoodle, my friend Inanna came by on Sunday evening with her son, who is a good friend of Buddy's. So, that was fun.

We just hung out and talked. I had wine. She drank a couple of the Yeunglings that the Evil Twin bought for his birthday (in July - and yes, there are still several in the fridge!).

We went out on the back patio a couple of times, so she could smoke and right outside our screen door, there was a orb weaver spider in his/her HUGE web.

Of course, I had to grab my camera.

While snapping away, I noticed a wasp on the porch light. And, I just can't have that, so I grabbed the fly swatter and swatted at it. I totally missed and figured I had just pissed it off enough to sting me or Inanna. But, instead, it somehow became ensnared in the spider's web.

That spider quickly got to work with it's new victim. It was fascinating.

I continued to snap pics:

The next morning, the web was partially dismantled and the spider was back in his/her hidey hole (under the patio awning).

We've seen three other spiders just like this at various locations around the house, but none as large as this dude.

At our old house, we had a couple of toads - a big one and a smaller one - that sat on our front steps most summer evenings. We always keep a patio light on, and we all know how that draws moths and other flying snacks. I would go out at dark and catch moths by their wings, then feed them to the toads.

I'm sure they loved me because they were out there ALL the time. And, I'd be their waitress for the evening!

Also, if you'd like a closer view of the action, you can click on the photos for their true size. That is, if you're not scared of a hairy, gnarly spider!!! :-)