Female Trouble - or so goes the intro song for director John Waters' movie "Female Trouble". His reference to female trouble is not the same as mine.
I refer to female trouble as that most lovely time of the month. Oh, sweet menopause or hysterectomy - how I long for your grace.
Buddy is getting out of school at 12:45 today - it's an early dismissal day, then he's off tomorrow for a teacher's conference and then he and the Evil Twin are off on Monday for Columbus day, so we have a nice long weekend.
The only problem is that I am feeling like crap and just hoping that I can muster the energy to get in the shower to go pick up Buddy by 12:45. I know I'd be able to make regular pick up time.
It's only almost 9 am, so I suppose I can sit around and moan and groan for an hour, then get a shower, feed myself and Sissy lunch and be at least among the living to drive the car.
Usually, things at this time are pretty okay. But, every so often, I get an "episode" where the cramps are unreal and I just want to die.
Plus, it rained all day yesterday (we needed it!), but guess who's ankle started hurting last night and is still hurting today? That's right - mine! So, I'm back to hobbling. Which is really amusing when combined with "hunched over with cramps." Okay, not so much, but I know it'd be funny to anyone who witnessed it.
I plan to be upright - hobbling, but upright - when I go pick up my son later on. Thank goodness I'm a right footed driver.
Keep your fingers crossed that I don't go all light headed and pass out in the shower from blood loss. LOL.
I'm going to relax for a bit and try to meditate my way to wellness.
OMG! Blood loss! Quick use direct pressure and if it continues you need to get a tourniquet applied... somehow... Well that's all I know about first aid.
ReplyDeleteMenopause ROCKS.
ReplyDeleteI'd wish an early on on you, but that would seem weird. Feel better soon!
I don't know how I made it through the cramps before they started making Thermacare Heat Wraps (as the commercial says "it's like a heating pad without the cord"). Those things are great. And if your back starts aching more than your belly, you can just slide the heat wrap around to take care of that.
ReplyDeleteI hope you get to feeling better!
Ron - LOL!!
ReplyDeleteTiff - Thanks. I guess I just have to wait my turn.
BB - I've bought those for the ETs back and he really likes them. I should probably look into them for me. :-)
OMG! Lorrie is right! Soon, we'll ALL be on the same cycle.
ReplyDeleteI hate that for you! Do you have adenomyosis? Sounds like it.
ReplyDeleteSo many people wish they had had a hysterectomy long before they did - most feel soooooo much better afterwards.
I hope you feel better soon - that just sucks!
My thoughts are with you! The last time I had mine was the DAY Hurricane Ike came ashore. Ain't that just great. It totally sucked.
ReplyDeleteWhy do us women feel we must suffer through this? Ask your doctor about an endometrial ablation. http://www.power-surge.com/headlines/ablation.htm. Much easier than a hysterectomy, you keep all your parts and don't have to worry about hormone replacement. I had it done after years of heavy bleeding, migraines and cramping. I think it saved my life. Now my 'monthlies' are incredibly light and really only last a day or so.
ReplyDeleteI wish you well. I was one of the fortunate ones - never a cramp at those times. The best was the total hysterectomy when I was 34. Except for the chin whiskers - not to bad!! :)
ReplyDeleteK - that seems true most of the time. LOL.
ReplyDeleteMomma - I don't think so. My OB says "You're super healthy" at every annual exam. It doesn't happen like this every month... every now and then, I guess Mother Nature decides I need something to shake up my routine. :-)
Gigi - nothing like monthly fun while stressing over evacuation! Ugh.
Anonymous - thanks for the info.I'll bring it up to my OB when I see him next. :-)
themom - well, as hairy as I am, I could take the whiskers in stride. LOL.
I hope you feel better by now. I remember those days - and not very fondly! I am SO glad those days are behind me.
ReplyDeleteCHOCOLATE. I find chocolate helps immensely. And wine. And drugs.
ReplyDeleteI dunno about chocolate, but really, what DOESN'T wine help? Sorry - as Vinomom I have to promote my trade. :)
ReplyDeleteSeriously I hope you feel better soon.
This subject normally makes me put my fingers in my ears and shout that 'nananananananananana' thing...but, I do hope you feel better and soon!
ReplyDeleteNot sure but think I read where 100% Jamaican really takes 'the edge off' ;)
Kenju - By about midday, I did feel better. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteLauren - I'm into tha vino already.
Vinomom - God Bless wine. It really is the nectar of the gods.
Efen - sorry. I knew I'd skeeve the guys out today. I'll stick with the legal drug o' choice: wine - although I do believe the MJ should be legalized (even if I don't partake myself).
Ahhh!
ReplyDeleteI hurt for you.
Feel better!
Aaaawwww...I feel for you sweety. I don't even want to think about it. I'm dreading it.
ReplyDeleteSince my last "incident" (I honestly don't know what to call it and I don't want to use the "M" word) with the horrible pain, I don't even know when to expect the curse now. Here's hoping it's doesn't pull an old favorite out of Aunt Flo's witch hat like while I'm wearing a floaty white dress. Good thing I don't own a floaty white dress, right? :)
I hope your's is over soon! 23 free days are not enough!
Oh Lawd! I can't believe you're bloggin' bout ya period!
ReplyDeleteRenn - Thanks!
ReplyDeleteHoneywine - and that is why panty liners are my fwiends. LOL.
Bucky - I knew you would love this one! I was going to get into the intricacies of feminine hygiene products, but thought about the menfolks and toned it way down. :-)