And this year, I have another mother to celebrate.
I was adopted as an infant. My parents' raised me and then adopted my brother (not biological) about three years later. We had a great life and were "privileged" growing up. My mom was unable to have children due to a problem with her fallopian tubes - a condition which today would be by-passed by IVF (in vitro fertilization).
My dad passed away in 2004 and my mom followed 14 months later. A year later, after searching for my biological family, I was contacted by my biological sister. Wow! We have the same biological mother and father. There is also a brother - but neither he nor my biological father want to be involved, and I'm okay with that.
My biological mother and father got married a few years after I was born and given up for adoption, had three more children (the 2nd son was stillborn) and divorced shortly thereafter.
My biological mother and I have a very good relationship. We talk on the phone at least twice a week and we're trying to plan a meeting get together for this summer. Last year, it was late July when we officially connected and with Buddy's school schedule, my biological mom's work schedule and the fact that my sister was finishing up nursing school, it just wasn't in the cards for us all to meet up then.
When I set out to find my biological family, I wasn't looking for a replacement family. And I'm still not looking for that. I had my family, my parents - and I loved, still love, them with all my heart. I miss them both every single passing day. Neither of them lived to see Sissy, and for that, my heart aches the most.
So, I'll be celebrating Mother's Day this year with another mother. That's really strange. How do you thank someone who loved you enough to give birth to you and then give the gift of a child to a couple who otherwise would have been childless?
I'll let you know if I figure it out.
If I were your biological mother, knowing that you realize this would be the biggest gift:
ReplyDelete"How do you thank someone who loved you enough to give birth to you and then give the gift of a child to a couple who otherwise would have been childless?"
To know that you understand she made the decision to give you up out of love and that your adoption was a happy one for both you and your parents would be the biggest mind-settling, heartwarming gift of all. Everything else beyond that is cake.
I agree with Buzzardbilly on that one. I'm sure when you give up a child for adoption you will wonder and hope that child is having a good life. The fact that she can now know that you had a good childhood and understand her decision would do a lot to ease all the concerns she lived with all those years.
ReplyDeleteHow do you thank her? Show her this.
ReplyDeleteThis was beautiful.
What they said. SRSLY!
ReplyDeleteI know you're not replacing your mom, but it's great you have someone to celebrate with.
ReplyDeleteShe gave you a wonderful gift of a life that she wasn't ready to provide for you.
Thank you for reminding me, I gotta get something for Mom.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of cake, the last time I sent a Nonnie Waller's gift it went over really well. (If Nonnie's is too expensive Cheryl & Co. is very delicious.)
ReplyDeletehttp://www.nonniewallers.com/
http://www.cherylandco.com/
You're quite a wonderful mother and daughter. While one of your mothers is gone, that you have your biological mother now is such a miracle.
ReplyDeleteBuzzardbilly's first post - on the nosey.
ReplyDelete- The Evil Twin
I'm with the others on this.
ReplyDeleteShow her this post.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI had to delete my comment with the link to the Mrs. Robinson box o' chocolates. I messed up and gave TMI namewise. Sorry about that, so I deleted.
ReplyDeleteBB - that's okay. I bookmarked the link already. I didn't even notice myself! Ooops. LOL.
ReplyDeleteI can look at it from both perspectives. I too, was adopted and I also gave a baby girl up for adoption when I was 18. I was raised in a highly disfuntional and non-loving family...but made it on my own. My daughter found me in 1992 and I also found my biological family the same year. Biological parents were both dead but 2 sisters (half) were great to welcome me and my twin, yet one sister and 1 brother wanted no parts. No problem there. My daughter and her adoptive mother and I have a wonderful relationship, as I do with half siblings. Granted, some cases have no happy ending, but now at least, I have NO unanswered questions. Great isn't it?
ReplyDelete