Wednesday Round-Up

A Hodge Podge Day

Thanks to all for the hot dog advice yesterday. Cutting them lengthwise, then into "half moon" pieces was what I did for Buddy, but it seems like he was older than Sissy (I'm thinking maybe 3) before we tried the dogs of hot with him.

And, I also said yesterday that I was more lax with Sissy - which is true to a degree. When Buddy was born, as some of you know, very prematurely, we brought him home from the NICU with a heart/apnea monitor. If he had bradycardia (a dropping of heart rate - which he did often) or didn't take a breath for more than 20 seconds (not so often), that sucker would blare so loud it would wake the dead.

Buddy at four days old (that's my hand behind him - he's still on the vent in this picture, in the NICU)

We got used to having that "security" blanket with him. I knew Sissy was most likely going to be a full term baby, and we wouldn't get that nifty heart/apnea monitor. So, I bought this monitor to assure us that she was still breathing in her crib. Of course, that was before I knew we'd be co-sleeping for several months, but it was still handy to have that monitor for peace of mind. We eventually removed the sensor pad, but still use the sound monitor portion of it.
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Do you like to laugh? I do. Do you like to hear funny travel stories too? Ditto here, my friends. Check out Jeff's Excellent London Adventure here.

Jeff is originally from Dunbar, WV, so he's a hometown guy. Check out his regular blog, too: The WVSR . He's a hoot and he has some mighty funny commenters as well.
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And, finally, wouldn't you love to work with this guy?:

Rain

I think it's been raining all up and down the East Coast. I never watch the news or check the weather for any location other than my own back yard, so I'm not sure.

And not only is it rainy, it's cold too. Much too cool for the end of April. Bah! Today is Family Hot Dog Day at Buddy's school. Sissy and I plan on swinging by to have lunch with him. I think I'll get Sissy a happy meal before we go - I can't very well feed her a hot dog. She's only 2 and has never had even a chopped up hot dog.

I've become so much more lax with the 2nd kid than I was the first, but I'm still worried about choking hazards. Hot dogs just seem suspicious to me in their ability to possibly get lodged in a two year old's throat.

I've been unbelievably tired lately. In fact, on Friday night, I went to bed at an unheard of 9:30 pm. I've been getting in bed between 9:30 and 10 (except Saturday - we were up late watching a movie) every night. I'm normally more of a midnight or so bedtime person.

I know if I complain to one of my myriad of physician's, I'll just get yet another thyroid blood test. I swear I have the most examined thyroid in the county. Why is it that doctors see a thin person complain of tiredness and it's always the thyroid? I guess that sucker is responsible for many ills.

I'm tired today because I couldn't stop laughing about something Buzzardbilly told me on the phone yesterday. Seriously, I was in bed - trying to drift off to sleep and I thought about "the incident". I tried not to laugh, but I couldn't help myself. Then, I couldn't stop. The bed was shaking where I was repressing sound (didn't want to wake up the Evil Twin, who was in a foul mood anyway).

I finally was able to strike the thought from my head and get some rest, but not without a series of weird dreams first.

I hate this weather.

Weekend Conversation - Update!

Sorry I didn't update over the weekend. I was busier than a one-legged man in a butt kicking contest doing laundry and other housework, plus I really didn't feel so well part of the weekend.

Anyway, the Evil Twin and I were having a conversation after dinner on Friday evening. Buddy had excused himself and gone to his room, so we could talk freely.

There's a new-ish employee at the Evil Twin's office, Jane (not her real name). Jane is a younger gal with a really great sense of humor. She had popped by the Evil Twin's office with a tale she had to share.

She held up her hand and asked him if he knew what it was. The Evil Twin relayed the symbol to me - he held out his right hand with his index and middle finger extended, ring finger bent and held by thumb, pinkie finger extended. I said, "Yeah, that's the shocker." Apparently, he wasn't aware there was a name for it.

Jane said, "Yeah, you know, two in the pink, one in the stink." Which the Evil Twin found greatly amusing. But, he continued his story. Jane had been driving home the day before and she was behind a Scion. On the rear window, there was a little sticker with "the shocker" outlined.

What really made it great was when she looked down to see a vanity license plate on the vehicle. It said, "2GOO1POO". Now, how that ever made it past the DMV is news to me, but she had a picture of it on her cell phone. I wish she'd send it to me.

The Evil Twin said it was a WV plate.

Years ago, I had requested a vanity plate to read "IH8YOU" and was declined (and not because someone already had it, they just wouldn't issue one with that statement on it). I can't believe I was willing to pay extra for a plate, but hey, we all have our lapses in judgment. However, the sentiment is true for most of the population (not you, dear readers).

I'll try to find out if Jane can email me the picture and post it later.



UPDATE: Photo!!!



Happy Monday, crusty crew!

So Wrong, On So Many Levels

This morning, I stumbled on this article/: from what is quickly becoming one of my favorite blogs, Rachel Lucas (but don't worry - I have enough love in my heart for ALL of you!).


So, I read the article and I'm thinking.... OK. We're talking about Playboy and Penthouse here. First of all, those are two of the stalest skin mags I have ever seen. Secondly, I wholeheartedly agree with Rachel that no one can tell another person how or how NOT to spend the money they've rightfully earned. Ms. Lucas also touches on the point of the phenomenon of some people's (namely, women) aversion to pornography (and I use that term very loosely when in context of the two magazines in question). But, that is where I'm going to pick up this gauntlet.


I have never fully understood why most women get their hackles up about this sort of thing. It's a 2 dimensional (or 3, in the case of movies) image. The chances of any guy meeting any woman in a magazine or movie is about as close as the odds of winning the lottery.


I have a very close family member who has starred in several porn films. I won't go into detail here other than to say the relative in question is a female. Let's call her Mimi. Mimi has told me that the industry is all about the women and they call the shots. No woman is ever made to do anything she doesn't want to do.

I'm talking about legal porn that utilizes only consenting adults (meaning no one is under duress or being forced to perform) here, just to clarify a bit.

She enjoyed her work and made a lot of money. She could have been flipping burgers at a fast food joint, but she CHOSE to become a member of the adult film industry. And all of her colleagues were in the same boat.

Sure, some of the people have substance abuse problems, but so do people in real life -- and people in Hollywood legit films. Where there's a hefty paycheck, drugs usually aren't too far behind. But that doesn't mean that men or women ONLY appear in the films because they're strung out on drugs. A junkie will find a way to get their fix no matter what.

So, that's my two cents on it. But, then again, lots of things don't bother me that DO bother other people. So, if you feel I'm wrong, please feel free to keep it to yourself. Thx.

**Actually, forget that last part. I was frustrated and had been working on these pathetic few paragraphs for hours and it just wasn't coming together.... I had finally just HAD it and wrapped it up in a huff.

It's Glamorous

Fer sure. My daughter has discovered the joys of crayons. She often wanders off, clutching one in her little hand. I have no clue where she's going or what she'll be getting into, so I have to hop up and follow her.

I pity the fool who tries to take the crayons away from her. She can carry on for a really, unbelievably long time.

The other day, I went to the police detachment near my house to renew my vehicle registration. Sissy and I had been at lunch with a friend of mine. We went to LongHorn (yum!). They serve those loaves of bread there and I had cut off a piece for Sissy to nibble on while my friend and I talked.

We finished up at the restaurant and Sissy was still holding that little piece of bread, so I let her hang on to it while I strapped her into the carseat. We got out at the police detachment and she brought along her bread.

She was jumping around and she dropped it. I picked it up and threw it in the little trash can next to me. I turned my back for a few seconds and when I turned back around, she had retrieved the piece of bread from the trash can.

I sternly told her to put it back in the trash, because it had fallen on the floor and it was dirty. She looked up at me, smiled sweetly and

TOOK A BITE FROM IT!!!!!

Well, I almost passed out. If I wasn't so tired, maybe I would have had the energy to do that. Instead, I looked at her and sighed, then said, "If you get eColi, it's your own fault."

I'm too old for this crap.

The Evil Twin will be 50 next summer. What were we thinking??? Most of his peers have grandchildren by now. We've got a 10 year old and a 2 year old.

Every night, after the kids' get in bed, I tidy up the house, vacuum my den and dining room and clear off the coffee table. Every morning by just after 8 AM, the floor is covered in crumbs and half of the contents of Sissy's room is dumped in front of the TV.

Today is gonna be special. I don't have a damn thing planned and there is something else on my mind. You'll get two blogs today. How's that for Value Added Service?

My Super Scientific Findings

Also Known As: My Probe Into The Probe

My OB/GYN had an emergency ectopic (tubal) pregnancy crop up, so by the time he finally made it around to see me, I was almost half asleep. It's hard to get comfortable only wearing those funky hospital gowns, though.

But, things were fine and dandy - as usual. We discussed random business and then I said, "Sissy is two years old now, is it too late to give her back?" He thought it was hilarious. He doesn't live with Sissy.

When he asked me if I did my monthly breast exam, I told him the Evil Twin did. He said that didn't count, 'cause the Evil Twin wasn't looking for signs of problems at that point in time. Rats. I thought I had it figured out.

When the nurse left, I asked about the rectal exam. He said that technically, it is supposed to be part of the pelvic exam - at least once a year for most people. However, he also said that about 15 years ago, he had stopped doing it because his patients complained about it. (remember, I've been seeing him for 13 years, so I missed out). He said that by the time his patients are 45, he incorporates that back into the program or if he has a patient with a family history of colon cancer or problems, he does it then no matter what their age.

So, that is the story on the rectal exam along with the pelvic. For everyone out there who might read this: if you have a family history of this stuff or really would like to know more about your female health, ask your OB to do the rectal exam at your yearly appointment.

I mean, I don't plan on changing my mind about my preferences. Plus, I'll be 45 in only 5 short years from now, so I can expect to know more then.

It's My Lucky Day! (Edit)

Along with a million other soul destroying activities in life, a females' ob/gyn always makes your yearly check up around your birthday ("So you don't forget!").

Just call me Lady Luck, cause I have a date to see the "meow, meow, meow" doc today.

The good news is that I've been seeing him for 13 years, he's a really great doctor, he's funny and all his office staff is super nice, too. So, it's really not as bad as it could be.

You men out there may find the next statement disturbing or even confusing: Some of these OBs find it amusing to stick their finger up their patients' butt during the pelvic exam. MY doctor does no such thing and for that, I am eternally grateful.

I never really "got" why that was a part of the procedure anyway. I mean, I'm there for the doctor to check out my hoo-ha, nothing else. Ok, maybe the cursory breasts exam as well, but that's part of their job, too. He's the one who will tell me to get a mammogram this year at some point.

I went a few years back for a baseline. Then, I was pregnant with Sissy and they don't torture pregnant women, but my excuses have run out.

Honestly, I didn't find it particularly painful or even embarrassing. I have plenty to work with and besides, everyone at the hospital has already seen my boobs. I didn't put them away once after Sissy was born. We called her "the Boobie Bandit" - she liked her num-nums - A LOT.

The whole mammogram thing is, for me, more of a PITA simply because I must get there to have the procedure done and I think we all know how well I like being on a schedule (what's that???).

The Evil Twin will be coming home early to hang out with our baby girl, then he'll go get Buddy and our neighbor kid from school if I'm not home in time. It means I'll have to take his car downtown and he'll have the van (which has the car seat in it - all that LATCH stuff is complicated).

I don't like driving cars I'm not used to, but I'll be okay. As long as I remember where I park it.....

NOTE: I swear I am not making up that anal probe part, nor do I think I've been "had" by pervert doctors. I've had other friends ask for a recommendation and have often had them ask, "Does he stick his finger in your butt?" when it comes to OBs. I think it might be an "old school" type of procedure because when it happened to me, it was a notably older doctor. Hey! I'll ask my doctor about it today and report back with my findings! Yes, I seriously do ask him anything! LOL.

Fabulosity

That's me! I had such a great day yesterday. My day started out pretty regular, and I didn't expect or have any notions it would be different. I mean, come on, it's just a Tuesday, right?

Well, I got a call from a girlfriend early wanting to know if I'd like to have lunch with her. It was GREAT (we went to Mayberry's! Of course!) and then went and looked at her new house and her new grandson - 3 weeks old and cute as he can be!

When I came home, I found a box on the front porch. It was an arrangement of cookies from my best friend from childhood - we've been friends since we were four years old. The cookies look great and taste even better.... the Evil Twin and I had to split one last night.


The middle one looks like a tombstone and says: "Here Lies Your Youth: 1968 - 2008". How funny is that???

I also had messages on my answering machine. One was from the local florist in town. My mom's best friend, who is in her later 80s, always sends me flowers for my birthday (we call her Aunt J_____). So, I figured that was her. It was! They are gorgeous and they smell amazing. And I am really not a floral arrangement person.



After a quick dinner of Wendy's (my favorite fast food place), we let our butterflies go free. I finally felt the weather had perked up enough to let them enjoy the outdoors. We did lose one live one along the way, but released 8. They were so pretty. One was shy or half dead or something, cause he didn't want to go far. He landed on Buddy's shoulder, then sat in the grass. I picked him up with a stick and placed him on some blooms from our apple tree.



The kids settled down for the night. I settled onto the couch with my glass of Chardonnay and watched American Idol. My sister called and we had a great conversation (for those not aware: I was adopted, so I've only known my sister for about a year).

Dear Evil Twin: I love you more than you could ever know. I love your body and soul, but I'm still waiting on my 4th tattoo design.....Hello? I'm only turning 40 once! (It's the new 20!).

I've got a lunch date with another friend today. I'm gonna be so fat at 40 and a week. LOL.

A Day Like Any Other

I woke up this morning at my usual time and got Buddy breakfast and laid his uniform out, just like always.

Then, I got in the shower and got Sissy up and fixed her breakfast. The TV is on Noggin and things are just going right along.

I'd like to stretch out on the couch and close my eyes for a bit, but my hair and make up are already finished and I hate getting all messed up.

It's time (past time) for my injection and I don't wanna do it. Have you ever tried to put a needle in the back of your right arm with your left hand (and you're right handed)? Let me tell you, it most certainly does suck.

My daughter just came over to me and asked for a cookie. She says, "You a cookie?" (you want a cookie?). I said, "No, you already had a cookie." Then, she presses her index finger to her cheek, closes her eyes and says, "Hmmmm. How 'bout a heart?" (a candy heart necklace she had last week). I said, "We don't have any heart. You ate it last week." So, she's angling for another snack of some sort.

Nevermind she didn't even finish her blueberry waffle for breakfast.

Time for me to become "Human Pincushion Gal" - taking all your shots so you don't have to.

Phew!

I called the courthouse this morning, first thing. The lady I spoke with was SO nice. At first, she couldn't find us - our name was so badly misspelled and I was listed first (probably because I take care of everything - even though I always say the Evil Twin's name first and sometimes don't even use mine at all - i.e. Mr. and Mrs. Evil Twin).

Anyways, she found us and gave me the account number and arranged to have a statement sent to us for 2007 taxes - I got one in 2006, wonder what happened? - but I can take care of my "issues" down at the local police detachment about a mile from my house.

I just know I'll find that file folder later this week. Isn't that always the way?

Speaking of weird things: when I was getting my license done on Saturday, they have a new deal where they'll get your fingerprint on it to lower your chances of "identity fraud". Yeah, right.

When the guy asked if I wanted my print on there, I said "No." My prints are already on file somewhere. (yes, I've been arrested).

I find things of that nature suspicious.

Not that I have anything to hide....

April 22nd

Your Birthdate: April 22

You don't love lightly. For you, love is always a serious undertaking. However, you are able to love many types of people. You can bring out the best in almost anyone. Love surprises you often. You never know when or where you'll find it next. Number of True Loves You'll Have: 4 Number of Times You'll Have Your Heart Broken: 5 You are most compatible with people born on the 4th, 13th, 22nd, and 31st of the month.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean For Your Love Life?

The Evil Twin was born on July 31st. ;-)

#300 - I Need Help

This is blog numero 300 - pretty impressive, eh?

Anyway, I'm losing my mind.

If YOU were a manila folder labeled "Personal Property Taxes", where would you be hiding? Not in the file cabinet, where you should be, but somewhere else in the house....

I can't get my registration re-newed unless I find that folder. Or the county finds me on their computer system. I found the check register where I had written the check for taxes last April, so I know the check number and I know it cleared the bank because of my elaborate "checkbook balancing" system ( a checkmark next to the written check number to let me know it cleared).

I plan on calling the courthouse in the morning and seeing what I can find there. I've paid them - every year, so I KNOW we have to be on record somewhere. Hell, I own two cars - charge me accordingly and let me give you MORE money to register those vehicles. So, you can keep tabs on me and charge me more money next year on things I already FUCKING OWN.

Arrrrgghh. I do not need this right now. I have until May 1st to make it right, though so it's not like I don't have any time to work on it. It's just one more pain in my ass. If I could find the file, I would be home free.... where are you file? I can picture the stupid thing in my head and I know it hasn't been outside of the house or gone in the trash.

I'm off to dig thru more piles of paperwork to try to discover my missing file.

He Rocks!

The Evil Twin, that is. He had made reservations for the Hibachi House restaurant for my birthday dinner, which is one of our favorite places. It was raining when we arrived, so the Evil Twin let me and Buddy out in front and he went to park the van. While he was doing that, I told the lady at the front desk our last name and that we had reservations at 6 pm.

She said, "Someone's already arrived using that name." I said, "That's not possible - we have a really unusual name." She said she'd look into it and let me know. I figured it was relatives of ours somehow. But I looked around the restaurant and saw a really, really good friend of ours. I looked at her and she finally saw me. I was like "What are you doing here?" and she said, "We're here for you." Ohhhhh!!!! They're the ones who used our name! The Evil Twin had arranged to have them meet us there!

I'm a little slow on the uptake, people.

So, it was our friends and their kids (their oldest son is Buddy's best friend). They had a card and a bottle of wine for me. Awwwww. I was so surprised.

Plus, I was happy that we'd get our own table and not have to be seated with random dipshits. LOL.

We had a great time, great food and later, they came over to our house to hang out for a bit.

Earlier in the day, we had gone to the DMV and it was a madhouse, but moving along okay. I finally got my driver's license taken care of and the picture came out really well. I didn't even look at it when the guy handed it to me - I was in such a hurry to get out of that place. They really changed the look of the license overall.

And now, I can rest easy knowing that when I get carded at WalMart, I can hand them a decent looking license.

(BTW, baby, thanks for last night - and the night before).

Fun Friday

The Evil Twin's brother and his wife are in town (or at least they were last night - they're headed North to see the Evil Twin and his brother's mom and her husband today). They were staying at a hotel in town, so we went down to see them for the evening.

We had a great time. They have two girls - their oldest is a year older than Buddy and their youngest is a year older than Sissy. Apparently, my sister in law and I can't get it together enough to have children any closer than eight years apart. LOL.

Actually, her situation was quite by chance (luck) and mine was by medical issues (frequent miscarriages and problems even getting pregnant in the first place). We're both so blessed! Our big kids are wonderful and our little ones are a handful, but keep us young.

We were joined by some other mutual friends and their daughter - their son was at a birthday party and couldn't make it - but the kids had fun hanging out together while they could.

I really wish we all lived closer. We don't get to see them often enough, but they live where they can work and same with us. Maybe when the Evil Twin retires (nine more years before he's eligible at his job!), we can move closer to them.... They live South of us and that's where I want to spend my life. No more crappy WV winters.

If God had intended people to live like that, we'd be born with parkas on. But no! We're born naked! That right there is proof God wants us to live in nice climates.

I'm off to get my sorry, old, self together for the day. I need to look halfway decent for my driver's license picture. Feck.

Late Again

Well, well. The Evil Twin "forgot" to set the alarm last night again. He woke up a little after 7 - when we all get up around 6 or 6:30, that's a problem. I got Buddy up, fed him, and started making the Evil Twin's lunch. The Evil Twin then took Buddy to school and luckily, again this time, he made it before the tardy bell. I hate tardiness almost as much as I hate the dentist, but that's another story.

Sooooo, I didn't get my normal shower time, I didn't get my injection on time, and I'm pretty much just running behind this morning.

Excellent!

Thank goodness it's Friday, huh?

The DMV, being the cruel and unusual place it is, decided a few years back to make people's driver's licenses due up for renewal on their birthday how many ever years (I think it's 4) from the license issue date. So, lucky me... I'm up for a new license by Tuesday. Picture and all.

It can't be as bad as the last picture was.

I think there's a branch in Kanawha City open on Saturdays, which means the Evil Twin will have to accompany me there tomorrow. There is just no way I can take care of all that and watch Sissy at the same time. (My van is due for a new registration too, so I may as well take care of that too) (And, registration is just one more way the state of WV can extort money from its' population).

After DMV hell, my family has a reservation at the nice Japanese Hibachi restaraunt for my birthday - weekend night instead of the actual date - but, who wants to do a dinner out in the middle of the week when battling the crowds offers SO much more fun?? At least we do have reservations... And I know the food will be incredible, so it's worth it.

It's Nuts

Yesterday, in the comments section, Renn asked a few questions concerning my job at The Parthenon (it's obvious she did newspaper layout "in the old days" too.)

Which width tape did you favor on the layout board?
M1, all the way.

Also, did you prefer the straight edge or the 'jazzy' styles?
Straight - my mitred corners were effin’ TIGHT.

Which music did you favor in the editing den? "WE" were Toad the Wet Sprocket fanatics...] We listened to all kinds of stuff, mostly alternative. Sometimes, I brought in Dead Kennedys and forced them all to enjoy that.
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A Funny From This Morning:

The Evil Twin sleeps in the all-together and just throws on a robe when he gets up. He was sitting across from me this morning with his left leg bent at the knee and on top of his right leg, so I had a bird’s eye view of what’s underneath the robe.

I motioned to his sagging sack o’ seeds, pointed and said, “Hey, honey - you sat in some gum.”
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Confession time:

While dining with my blog buddies recently, I became aware of the fact that while I am politically the most conservative (and only Republican) of the bunch, I am also probably the most unusual and unorthodox of them.

With the exception of PCP and Quaaludes, I’ve done every other drug I can think of. I’m sure I’m missing some I haven’t done, but I’ve done all the big ones, and some of the less known ones, too. I suppose I can admit this because it’s been years since I’ve done anything more than drink too much from time to time and seeing as how I’m over the legal drinking age, I’m good there.

With the exception of parachuting from an airplane, there isn’t much I haven’t done in my life at all - at least of the things I wanted to do and a few I wasn’t sober enough to differentiate want from not. I’ve always been impetuous.

Oddly enough, I never fell into a bad situation with any substance - except alcohol. I’m a recovering alcoholic. But, I’m not one of those freakazoid types who feels that engaging in the behaviour again - ever at all - is wrong. In fact, I am working on becoming simply a social drinker.

So far, I’ve been successful. And that’s been since early February. I’ve cut down to almost nothing in the drinky-poo department. It sucks for me, but hey, my liver is a happy camper.

Yay - More Questions!

I received a few more questions via email. These are from my bud, Allclick. He totally should have made the effort to meet us at the restaurant yesterday - but I'll answer his questions anyway. Yes, I know they opened a new one in Hurricane. I can't imagine it's as good as my own, old hometown one (I'm sure it is... I know the Eggleton's and they rock).

Anyhoo - questions and answers below:

What are is your fondest memory of Marshall and least ,erm, fondest?
I’m going to break this down into (A) and (B). I’ve had lots of both.

(A) Probably my fondest time at Marshall was when I worked for the student newspaper, The Parthenon. I was lucky enough to be hired to do production work on the paper, which is work study (jobs typically only given to students in need of financial aid). The production crew would get to work about 4 pm and we’d work, doing hand paste ups, until the whole paper was ready to be driven out to Wayne County, where a print shop worked all night cranking out the finished product. At that time of the afternoon, most staff, faculty and students had all gone home so it was just the crew (about 4 or 5 of us), all seated at our individual light tables. We’d joke around, talk, listen to music and have a great time. This was wayyyy back when all the stories were laid out on a phototypositer then we’d have to measure the dummies (the rough layouts) and divide by 2 or 3 (columns) and cut the story to fit the space - computers didn’t do things like that for newspapers back then. I was always pleased to see the newspaper the next morning and admire my perfectly placed work (all done by hand).

(B) My least fond memory was realizing I’d have to re-take one class in order to graduate. I had to stay on an extra semester taking ONE night class. I worked during the day to have something to do. When I completed my course, I refused to attend the graduating ceremonies and instead arranged to just have my degree mailed to me at my parents’ house. It’s still in the little “leather” folder it was sent in, smooshed between books in my bookshelf.

Why West Virginia?
My dad was the district administrator for the Federal Highway Administration and this is where we landed with his promotion. We moved right before my sophomore year. I attended and graduated from Nitro High School. I never wanted to be too far from my mom and dad, so I chose MU and then met the Evil Twin, so here we are still….

Fame and Fortune or Respect and Penniless?
I think it’s more important to be respected and admired by your peers - your friends will always help you out in a tight spot if you’ve been good to them. So, I’ll say respect and penniless.

What do you like to do to relax?
I really enjoy reading (hence, my lengthy blogroll), but I also enjoy books. I also enjoy hanging out with friends or having a glass of wine (either by myself or with others).

Where else can I try for some good cheesecake??
I would try local bakeries (like locally owned and operated). Have you tried Aunt Bs in Hurricane (near the Putnam Hospital)? Or, try some upscale restaurants who have their own pastry chef (think Laury’s or Aubrey’s).

Blogs: Good for the soul or good for a rant?
I think they can be both, but I use mine as a “good for the soul” option. I’m not much of a ranter, but I have done that from time to time as well. Which reminds me that I have some shit to unload later on - maybe tomorrow. I feel confession time comin’ on.

LUNCH!

At Mayberry's, from left to right - Ron, Buzzardbilly (peaking over his shoulder) and the Blonde Goddess. Yours Truly was taking the pic, but as I said, you all have seen me plenty enough. We had a great lunch - we talked FOREVER. Buzzardbilly picked up the tab (girl, you are in trouble!).



The girls and I plan on a coffee and gabfest next week also. That will be a blast too, because Sissy won't leave the biggest mess on the planet for my friend and waitress to pick up.

Things got a little scary for a moment when two elderly ladies arrived bearing large, weighty looking handbags. We all assured Blonde Goddess we wouldn't let any harm befall her.

Luckily, they didn't try to attack. We were able to finish dessert in peace. Ron swears he's going to plot ways to garner a return just for the deep fried cheesecake.

A Quick Check In

Ron made it safe and sound yesterday and we've been having fun. The Evil Twin brought home chinese food last night for dinner and Ron had brought desserts from a place near where he lives...there were a variety of things to pick from and they all looked great. It was hard to choose and hurt another treats' feelings.

But, we all ate like pigs and plan to do so again at lunch. Ron needn't worry about being kicked out. I know the owners and the waitstaff very well, so we're in like Flynn.

Of course, since Ron and I are too busy chatting, it's hard to read blogs and/or comment. I'm sure he and I will get caught up by the end of the week! ;-) We're having too much fun gabbing for now.

I'm off to get Sissy dressed for the day and the last few things I need to do myself...

I will get back later, either today or tomorrow, depending on my schedule and have pics.

Mwah! :-)

Running on Fumes

I've had the sinus crap going on since last week, so that's still with me and then Saturday night, we had some friends and their kids over. I drank too much wine and paid for it all day Sunday (on top of my allergy mess). Good times, good times.

Have you ever been just beyond exhausted tired and you get in bed and can't sleep? That's what happened to me last night. I was comfortable and I had my eyes closed, but then I'd open them and a half hour would have past and I still wasn't asleep....

So, I'd flip around and get in a different position for a while. Still no sleep came my way. I probably laid there for an hour or two just hoping for a decent night's rest. I have no idea what time I finally DID drift off, I'm guessing still fairly early because I do feel somewhat rested this morning.

I'm looking forward to having Ron over. I spoke to him yesterday and he should be on his way soon. I hope the weather perks up a little... it's shitty and cold right now. Crap!

Tomorrow, Ron, Buzzardbilly, the Blonde Goddess and myself are meeting for lunch at Mayberry's in St. Albans. If any other local bloggers are close enough and want to join us, send me an email at eviltwinswife at hotmail dot com. I'm going to email my friend who works there and let her know we're coming and also see if she's working tomorrow. It should be a good time. And yes, I'll take my camera.

I got some pics of Sissy getting her first haircut on Saturday, but haven't uploaded them yet. I also need to photoshop her face out... I'll probably let the Evil Twin do that part since he has Creative Suite 3.0 or whatever it is with photoshop and all that good stuff. She did great on the haircut - Sue (my hairdresser for 22 years) didn't cut much, but it does look nicer now. It looks more tidy. Now, we'll see if she'll actually let me brush it or anything to help it out. LOL.

I've got a million things to do and need to get to them, NOW! Big doin's the next couple of days!!! Yippee!!!!

Enquiring Minds Want To Know

Okay, I got some really hard questions and it took me a while, plus I gave up the linky lurve too.

Ron from Warped Mind asked:
1. What is the worst name anyone has ever called you? and did you kick their ass for it?
I was called “Lizzie” or lesbian a lot. Maybe because I hung out with gay guys, people assumed I must be gay too. I didn’t kick anyone’s ass at the time. Years later (after I was out of college and married to the Evil Twin), I ran into one of the worst transgressors at a bar one night and I told her I owed her an ass kicking for making my life in high school hell and we’d need to take it outside. I firmly intended on beating her ass that night. But, that little bitch apologized and I didn’t have to break her face after all.

2. Have you always had such a positive attitude about things?
Always? I’m not sure. Growing up, I was told by my mother that a lady can catch more flies with honey than vinegar. I guess I try to live up to that.

3. Do you really put boogers in peoples food when they aren't looking?
No, that was just a convenient threat I could make at the time. Plus, I think boogers are damn funny.

4. What is the meanest thing you have ever done?
I had to really think back on this one. I’m typically just not a mean person. Vindictive? I can be. I’m sure I did some mean things growing up, but the worst I can come up with right now is once when I was in college, I had a roommate (a very good friend, in fact). I was cleaning the bathroom sink and her toothbrush flipped out of the holder and landed in the toilet. I don’t know why I didn’t just tell her and buy her a new toothbrush - it wasn’t out of meanness, but I think I was afraid of upsetting her (like brushing with toilet water is less upsetting than getting a new toothbrush). The toilet water was clean and I DID rinse the toothbrush with hot water….. I feel really bad about that.

Carolyn from The Ginger Quill said...
How many fingers am I holding up?
Woman, I am getting old and I don’t wear glasses or contacts. I’m gonna say two, but it’s a little fuzzy.


Buzzardbilly asked:
1. Do you think my ranting rambler is the same as yours? It seems that way.

2. Do you think the ranting rambler is a local crazy or someone compelled to go down a blogroll playing share the madness?
It’s got to be the “share the madness” type. S/he went to a lot of trouble to spam you to enter the word verification and all.

3. If Vincent Van Gogh were alive today, do you think he'd still cut off an ear or do you think he would find an alternative course of action to show his luv?
There is such a fine line between genius and madness - and artists tend to blur that line quite a bit. Given his gifted nature, I’d think he’d go for the ear still. Or do something equally as crazy.

4. You have the power to make one thing be calorie-free. What would it be?
My mom’s blonde brownies. I could eat an entire pan of those things.


The Blonde Goddess asked:
1. If you came home and found that someone had robbed all of your clothes, what would be the one item you'd miss the most?
I always wear a bra, so that would already be on my person. I have a leather jacket (biker style) that I love and would be really sad if it disappeared. Did they steal my corset and shoes too? Asshats.

2. Who's your favorite band/singer from the 80's?
I’m a huge Adam Ant fan. A DJ friend of mine interviewed him once and got me an autographed CD.

3. If you had to choose a theme song, what would it be and why?
“Rakim” by Dead Can Dance from their album “Toward The Within”. It’s a beautiful song, beautifully composed and even 15 years after I heard it the first time, it still amazes me. This YouTube link has an incredible video version of the song, plus an interview afterwards. The song itself is about 6 minutes long, but you can stop watching after that:



4. If you won an unlimited gift card for free food from a fast food place for one year and you could choose the fast food place, what place would you choose?
Is Subway fast food? If not, then Wendy’s - definitely.

5. What one thing do other people do that annoys you instantly and you just can't overlook?
Honestly, I can’t think of anything. I usually don’t let stuff get to me. Of course, people have quirks that get on my nerves sometimes: arrogance, lying, willfully deceptive, posers/fakes. I just try to avoid people like that. I do a good job of avoiding.


Wyld from Wyld's Q&A asked:
How many sexual thoughts enter your head at any given time throughout out the day?
Depends on the day, my mood, etc. On a good day, quite a few.

Of those how many while blogging?
Not many when I’m preoccupied with other things.

If you were allowed only one type of sex toy for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Who said I own things like that? LOL. I’m not big on gadgetry, but I gotta go with the standard dildo. Otherwise, I'd be fine with just my filthy mind.

How many fingers is CAROLYN holding up?
I already said, TWO.


From Rennratt:
If you could go to college all over again, would you a)go to the same school and b) study the same major?
Yes, I would still go to Marshall, but I would change my major and possibly just get an Associate’s Degree in some sort of administrative field.


Dave from Silver Creek 78250 asked:
Would you invite [The Blonde Goddess] to a BBQ?
Well, around here, we call ‘em cook outs, but absolutely yes. I already invited her over for coffee. And, all our neighbors are elderly so if BG decided to get naked, no one around here would see her. In fact, we’re thinking about getting a hot tub and those just scream drunken debauchery amongst friends, don’t you agree?

A Day of Madness

I guess I'll get around to posting my daily blog fodder. It's been one of those days and there really isn't a reason for it. I just feel unwound. I look at my blog and for a week or so, I've felt like it looked "different" even though I haven't changed anything. How's that for nutty?

I'm over my PMS, so that's not it. The weather is warm and sunny... what is my scoop? Who knows?

It might be allergies. It's that time of the year - all the Springtime junk in the air. I noticed that Sissy has had a terrible runny nose for a few days. Yesterday morning, I woke up with a sore throat and chalked it up to sleeping with the window open the night before. But, the windows were closed last night and my throat hurts again this morning and my sinuses are killing me.

I'm probably getting my Spring cold. Every year, I get deathly ill with something (a cold, sinus stuff, whatever) that then turns into an upper respiratory infection. I dutifully go to my general doc and he gives me a Z pack and a pat on the head and sends me on my merry way.

If I'm lucky, he'll also prescribe liquid codeine. I love that stuff.

Since I'm not feeling so hot and my mind is all fuzzy (hence the madness I'm ready to unleash), I'll steal from my many blogger friends and open the floor for your questions. Got any burning desire to know something about the ETW? You ask, I'll answer. And I'll also be honest. I feel too crummy to make things up.

....Aft Go Astray

That sums up our best laid schemes for this morning. The Evil Twin either forgot to turn on the alarm last night or it just plain didn't go off - because I woke up at 7:18 AM saying "What day is it? What is today?" meaning, "Is it a school and work day, cause if so, we is fucked big time."

I flew out of bed and called our neighbor/friend who drops Buddy and her son off in the mornings and told her to go on without him because we'd overslept. The Evil Twin dragged ass out of bed and said he'd take Buddy in when he was ready (damn skippy, Mo Fo, I wasn't going to do it). We all stumbled around like zombies, but amazingly, Buddy got to school before the tardy bell rang and we all managed to get our mornings underway - albeit, later than usual.

The Evil Twin stated that he did not feel well and I also had a sore throat (we slept with the window open over our bed for part of the night), so he's off work today. Buddy has an appointment to see the opththalmologist today at 2:15, which means I'll have to get him out of school early. I guess it works out good because this means I can leave Sissy at home with Daddy and I can take only Buddy to the appointmetnt. Trust me, we've gone before - dragging Sissy along - and she is ever so uncooperative. It is no fun.

But, neither is having an appointment to begin with. I hate having to be at X place at X time, unless it's something fun. Generally speaking, though, I've gotten used to being able to make my own schedule as I go along. (one perk of being at home-ness). My dislike of setting appointments extends to even haircuts.

I bit the bullet yesterday and called my hairdresser. I've been seeing her since I was 18, so nearly 22 years now and of course, I love her. She does an amazing job every time and she charges next to nothing (I always give her a big tip anyways). However, this time, we have more interesting business than JUST my hair. Sissy will be getting her first "trim" as well. She doesn't have much hair. What little she does have is in the veins of a baby mullet. It really just needs to be shored up. We really don't want any or too much length cut off the back. It will be interesting to see: how it turns out and if she'll even sit still for the cutting.

She won't let any of us near her hair. I was so looking forward to styling it in the adorable "Pebbles" fashion (you know, one little fountain of hair on top) and other cute ways to do a girl's hair. No such luck for Mommy. I will be taking the camera.

I'm off to do my injection (nearly an hour late) and finish my morning routine (just in time for lunch, I'm sure). :::Sigh:::, I hate getting up late on school days.

A Prize!

I received an award for my dusty little award shelf! The giver of this most excellent gift is Ron from Warped Mind of Ron. I do love Ron and I think he feels similarly towards me, but I semi suspect that he just doesn't want me to slip a booger in his food when we have lunch next week.... A bribe? Maybe. The really cool giftie? This beauty:



I'm not going to follow "da rules" because I simply don't feel like it this morning. I've been at this (this one paragraph) since about 8:30AM and it is now almost 9:30. That's how long it takes me to get my thoughts together and actually sit and type for a moment. This morning, I've been interrupted approximately 452 times by Sissy, who needs "one more thing."





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In other news: Live Bug Report

Our ten caterpillars formed chrysalis's (only nine made it to that stage) and we now have nine beautiful butterflies in our Butterfly Pavilion. I did take pictures of the cocoons and have attempted photos of the butterflies, but they're very hard to photograph in their mesh habitat area. I will continue working on the best angle and try to get at least one decent photo of the little darlings.

They're very fascinating. We have balled up paper towels soaked in sugar water in there and I've also added two orange slices, which they are seen on frequently.

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Weight Loss Report

Nothing to report except a gain of a pound or two. My weight fluctuates wildly in just a day or two, so we'll see where I end up at age 40. Yesterday, I felt fat, so I corsetted myself for the most part of the day. Nothing like cinching your waist until you almost have the vapors.


For those that missed it the first time around, I ordered this one: http://www.absolutecorsets.com/in-stock-corsets/vo-1915u.htmvo-1915u.htm. Yes, I paid over $200 for it. And Yes, I love it. Totally worth it.

The Old Days

Before I was the Evil Twin's Wife, I was just me - a little girl. I grew up mostly in the South (Alabama and Georgia, to be exact). My dad was an engineer with the federal government - the Divison of Highway Administration so when he was promoted, the rest of us moved along with him. After Georgia, we lived in Kansas City, Kansas for nearly three almost unbearable years.

When he was promoted to District Administrator (which meant he was as high as they go before heading to Washington, DC), he was given several different states from which to choose and he picked WV. His mother, my grandmother, was in a nursing home in Bluefield, VA and this station got him closer to her.

The rest of us were less than thrilled with being schlepped to West, by God, Virginia. I was unhappy because - get this - they didn't have a Saks Fifth Avenue here (they still don't!). But, I've been here for nearly 25 years and it's grown on me. I'm more a WalMart shopper than a Saks one these days anyway. I've come to love and embrace my inner cheapness. Especially when I'm spending my own money. LOL.

My dad was the eighth of 10 children, born into a poor family. My grandfather was a coal miner, as were a few of my uncles. My dad was only the 2nd or 3rd of his family to attend and graduate from college (Virginia Tech - where the man only got ONE B, the rest As, in his entire college career). Even though he was raised in a very different environment than the one my brother and I were lucky enough to have been born into, he was a fairly progressive thinker.

Along with being a civil engineer, he also attended law school for a few years, but never finished. He always said that was his one regret in life. He encouraged myself and my brother to reach high for ourselves - and he encouraged me even more.

He said, "Not-yet-Evil-Twin's-Wife, you don't have to be a teacher, nurse, secretary or airline stewardess. You can be a doctor, lawyer or a pilot. You don't have to settle for the jobs typically reserved for women." He didn't mean that any of these professions weren't worthy - he just wanted me to realize there was more out there if I desired it.

My mom was a stay at home mom. Originally, it was part of the agreement that went along with my adoption. Back then, the agencies requested at least one stay at home parent until the child reached the age of two. But, my mom was home for good. When I was three and a half, they adopted my brother. She never returned to the work force.

Another thing my parents' promised is that they would support me (and my brother) in whatever field we decided to study in college. Not going to college immediately following high school wasn't an option. So, if I had decided to become a doctor, my parents' would have given me that education until the day I graduated with that medical degree. They wanted us kids to graduate from school without debt over our heads (i.e. student loans). I did graduate, but with only a bachelor's degree, in Journalism. I liked to write, so that's what I picked.

I also picked it knowing that there wouldn't be added pressures on me when and if I became a mother. I wanted to also stay at home with my child/children and I knew, in my heart, that women who became doctors and lawyers didn't throw that education away to stay home with their families. There is too much time, and too much intense work, to just "take a break" from those professions. So, I picked a career path that could be put on the back burner for a bit. Maybe on the back burner forever.

I don't know, but I do know I love what I'm doing right now. I hope to pass on my dad's wisdom to Sissy (who was born after he died).

And I hate that I have to write this next part. It's a disclaimer. This was not written to make any one who is a working mom feel bad or less of a mom. It's only my own life path, choices and thoughts on the subject. (You seriously wouldn't believe how badly most stay at home moms get flamed for their decisions).

Feeling Rough

Yesterday, I had some errands to run and while I was out, I thought it might be a nice idea to pick up a bottle of wine. My boys - the Evil Twin and Buddy - had plans for the evening, so I had the house to myself after I bathed Sissy and put her in bed. I enjoyed my wine...

I woke up this morning, naked, and having no clue how I ended up that way. Luckily, I was in bed with the Evil Twin. There is still about one glass of wine left in the bottle and it's making me queasy just thinking about it.

I used to be so much better (or would that be worse?) about drinking - an entire bottle of wine wouldn't have fazed me. But, I've really cut down in the last couple of months, so it hit me hard last night.

It's apparent that I need a new vice. One that doesn't come with a pounding headache the next day. So far, the best part of my day was when the Evil Twin went to Taco Bell. Taco Bell is the BEST hangover helper food ever! Why do you think they stay open half the night? For all the crazy drunks and stoners.

Speaking of that... the nail polish on one of my toes was chipping off and I just picked the rest off because I planned on re-painting them last night (before the Merlot started talking). The Evil Twin noticed and asked why I had one unpainted toenail. I told him that was my "coke toenail." That's only funny if you can remember the 80s.

Perhaps I can get around to that pedicure this evening - unless more wine shows up in the house. (hair of the dog, ya know?).

Fun Fun Fun

I had wanted to be online earlier today to post a report about lunch yesterday, but I received a phone call super early - even earlier than my shower time! - from a mom at Buddy's school. They needed someone to work the popcorn machine this morning and get that ready for each individual class.

See, once every couple of Fridays, the school offers bags of popcorn instead of the normal snack. The children can either opt for the popcorn for 25cents or another snack for 25 cents or bring one from home (free). The whole popcorn thing is a longstanding tradition and the kids really like it.

Apparently, the people who normally do it could not make it this morning, so I got the emergency phone call. I said I needed to shower and get myself ready, but could be there to help. However, I had never been involved in making the popcorn, so I wasn't sure how to use the machine and then how the snacks got distributed, but if someone could show up and teach me the ropes, I'd be okay after that.

Ok, a rushed shower, grab the baby out of her crib, dress her and hand her a waffle and a sippy cup of milk and we fly out the door. We did the popcorn thing, which was fun and finally, we are home!

Lunch with the Blonde Goddess and Buzzardbilly was awesome! I knew it would be.

Back Story: Buzzardbilly
The Evil Twin's maternal grandparents lived near Buzzardbilly's grandmother and parents, so he has known her since she was just a little girl. I met Buzzardbilly when I started dating the Evil Twin and we've all been friends for a kazillion years.

Back Story: The Blonde Goddess
After Sissy was born, I got a call from my brother who had started a MySpace page and had pics of his kids on it. Knowing that by creating my own page would be the most likely way for me to keep up with my niece and nephew, I also signed up for a MySpace page. Soon, I was reconnecting with old high school friends and college pals. In my searching for friends, I ran across the page for Blonde Goddess. After reading her page, I thought we'd get along well, so I wrote to say hi and introduced myself (both moms, lived nearby - both of us had a crazy and fun side) and we became MySpace friends, but hadn't met. Until yesterday that is!!!!

She is so sweet and funny - exactly like I thought she'd be. Easy to talk with and very sensible - while still having a handle on her "wild" side. A fun mom - which is always how I'd pictured her.

We talked - A LOT and tried to eat in between yakking. Sissy was in fine form being her usual whiny self (she wanted out of the high chair to roam free --- I don't THINK so! ). We all had so much fun, it was decided that we'd do it again soon and again and again. Our next vict, I mean, lunch date, will be with Ron. We're all looking forward to that.

Buzzardbilly operates on strict anonymity and while I did have my camera, I didn't want her to be in a shot she wouldn't approve of. Maybe next time, I'll get a pic and just put a big smiley face over her head. Or maybe she can operate the camera and get a shot of Blonde Goddess, Ron and myself.

At any rate, I think we've loosely formed the CCCBA - the Crazy Charleston Chicks Blogging Association. Non-Chicks are welcome to attend also!

Totally Awesome!

I mentioned yesterday that I was meeting a couple of fellow bloggers for lunch today and I'm still really looking forward to that. I'm all ready to go, in fact, and it's only 9AM - I'm not meeting them until around 11:30AM... I've got a couple of hours.

Yesterday, I found the school lunch menu in Buddy's backpack and noticed on the back, where they list other activities planned for the month, that on April 3, the teachers and staff would be working at the St. Albans McDonald's to raise money for the school. They did this last year and it was a blast, so I'm looking forward to going again. I told the Evil Twin about it this morning - last year, he was still working his 4 day, 10 hour a day schedule, so having dinner with him was almost always not a possibility. Now, he's home earlier, so we'll all go to McD's together after he gets home! Two meals out in one day! What a jackpot for me (not for my waistline, but for my culinary skillz - at least they get a break).

For the last couple (okay, 5 or so) days, I've been rather "irritable". The Evil Twin has wondered aloud what my problem is. Hmmmm. We've been living together for 16 years. Prior to me, he was in quite a few long term relationships, so he's no stranger to females or their anatomy/biological make-up. Why can't men figure it out? Your wife/girlfriend/friend with benefits is acting crabby. You haven't done anything wrong. What might the problem be?

If you guessed PMS, pat yourself on the back. Accept it and move on. Trust me, when guys get snippy about the 'tude and make hateful comments, us ladies have the "Burning Bed" fantasy.

I know lunch with my girlfriends will help and so will food. Lots of it. This Slim Fast "drink" isn't cutting it.

Late-O-Rama

I woke up early this morning and got my sorry self together. I wanted to be ready in time to take Sissy to the local library by 10:30 am. They have the "Read To Me" program once a month on Wednesdays. I had never been to the story time activities with her yet. When Buddy was smaller, we went all the time - but we also lived in a different county, so the library we went to was different.

She seemed to have a good time this morning. Plus, the group of ladies I used to knit with all get together at 10:30 every Wednesday on the same floor as the Read to Me program, so after the story, puppet show and playing, I stopped in that room to chat with some old friends. I'd like to get back to that at some point - but doing anything with Sissy is a crapshoot.

Tomorrow, I have a lunch date with Buzzardbilly and Blonde Goddess. That should be super fun! Then, on Friday, I may attend a Totsicle class at the South Charleston Ice Arena with Sissy. They have classes for the very tiny tots - they go out on the ice in their tennis shoes (as do moms - even though I own my own ice skates), play around a bit, then have hot chocolate and a doughnut afterwards.

I'm trying to find some fun programs for Sissy and I to join in now that the weather is warming up. I belonged to a group when Buddy was little and I plan to do the same for Sissy. It helps them get used to a social setting, is a precursor to learning to share and get along with others and it gives us something better to do than stare at the TV all day.

During the summer, we belong to the private pool up the street AND we have access to our swing set, toys and my relaxing hammock in our own backyard. PLUS, I got my Canon Rebel XT yesterday and I've been playing with that for hours!!! I really love it so far. I've been doing A LOT of reading! I'm still on about page 12 of the instruction booklet and there are many more pages ahead.

I've really had a frustrating couple of days - I imagine it's getting back in to the school routine and feeling there is a definite lack of time to finish up any project I have going right now.

I went to WalMart yesterday and bought some starter soil and plastic trays to plant tomato seeds in. Then, I got the Topsy Turvy tomato planter from Plow & Hearth ready for action when my plants are big enough. For them to be big enough, they must first be planted and watered. Sitting in the package isn't getting me any tangible results.

Joy and Pain

I'm having a rough time getting back into the school routine schedule after having been out of it for a mere 10 days. I try not to let myself get too relaxed on shorter holidays - because I know we'll be back in the fray in no time.

Yesterday wasn't bad, but it was a little slow going for me in the morning. I had even gone to bed just after 11pm, which is downright early for me. Last night, I was in bed by just before 11pm and the Evil Twin got in bed shortly thereafter. We chatted about Dexter for a few minutes, then drifted off.

I awoke at some point after midnight - I was being molested in my sleep. Nice, huh? It was fun (from what I remember) and I quickly fell back asleep. This morning, the alarm wasn't nearly so "alarming". I was still stumbling around with sleep in my eyes doing my morning chores and routine.

At some point, I remembered that I had not checked Buddy's backpack from the day before. He has an assignment book that needs to be signed and brings home papers or items I need to see, like the lunch menu or, hey, a REPORT card. Didn't know that one was coming.

In my half-sleep state, I pulled it from the envelope. Grades, all decent - except - WHAT? a C+? My eyes scanned over to the left side of the column where the classes were listed. It was in handwriting. Personally, I think handwriting is a bullshit, subjective thing to be graded on, but the Evil Twin told me I couldn't be too upset - that Buddy does have crummy handwriting. I beg to differ. It's a little shaky, but they make them excel not only in studies, but speed. Buddy doesn't like to be rushed, so he does a half assed job with his writing.

To me, handwriting, art, PE - those are all pretty subjective. Sort of like the person who flaunts their intelligence. Isn't that for others to determine?

I'm a huge fan of the film director John Waters. He has often said that he hates people who introduce themselves as artists. He says, "Really? Isn't that for others to decide?"

My point is that I feel it's pointless to put a letter grade system on subjective material. Who's to say Buddy's handwriting only merits a C+? What does A handwriting look like? I'd love to see that - because from what I've observed, the other kids in his class have incredibly illegible handwriting. Is the whole class in the shitter over it?

Have I mentioned lately that I can't wait for 5th grade?