Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Nasty

The homepage that pops up when I sign on to the internet is MSN.com. I read the headlines as I am quickly veering in a different direction (usually MySpace or my blog or other blogs I read). From time to time, something will catch my eye and being OCD curious, I'll think, "Oh, brother, I just got to check that article out, it sounds nuts." Or, whatever - but I'm compelled to read some of this junk.

Yesterday, I stumbled on this article: 4 Kissing Techniques You Must Master. Now, I am not a failure in the kissing department, but it's like I said, the headline alone made me think, "I wonder if I'm missing out on something." You know - I didn't even know what a Dirty Sanchez was until a couple of years ago and it's not like I just fell off the turnip truck when it comes to the bizarre and often unacceptable world of sexual perversions.

Did I just say that out loud? Ummm. sorry...

Anyway, back to this article. By the time I reached the end of it, I threw up in my mouth a little. Trust me, if I pulled any ONE of these four techniques on the Evil Twin, I would probably be staring down the barrel of divorce court, not any hot future action. And vice versa. I'd wonder what pod person had taken my husband and replaced him with some sap.

Thank goodness I haven't got a romantic bone in my body.

Is there anyone who thinks any of these actions is cute? Or romantic? Help me out here, would ya?
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11 comments:

  1. Warped Mind of RonMarch 12, 2008 at 10:52 AM

    Sounds very complex to me. I would need to have cheat sheets on me so I didnt screw it up. I think if they went on to step 5 it would be a deviation of a Rusty Trombone :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Blonde GoddessMarch 12, 2008 at 11:44 AM

    Thanks for the nice comments. I'm glad you're having a good time with your company..

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  3. kenjuMarch 12, 2008 at 1:59 PM

    It's been years since I had to do anything more than a quick peck on the cheek, no less. But #3 brings back memories - don't knowck it. The last one gives me the same feeling it did you (throw up a little)....LOL

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  4. CarolynMarch 12, 2008 at 2:12 PM

    I think it all depends on the partner, the setting, the food, the drink, and the breath odor. If the breath is good I can do most any of those kisses. But if the breath is bad-- forgetaboutit!

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  5. CarolynMarch 12, 2008 at 2:13 PM

    Oh, I mean HIS breath of course! LOL!

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  6. The Film GeekMarch 12, 2008 at 2:30 PM

    Any future posts planned on how you figured out what a Dirty Sanchez was?

    I'm just askin'... :)

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  7. tiffMarch 12, 2008 at 4:06 PM

    I'm not really AGAINST any of this, but that sucking the breath thing is a little odd.

    Jeez, what ever happened to a good old fashioned crotch grab???

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  8. AnonymousMarch 12, 2008 at 8:20 PM

    Hey the kissing stuff is good info, but I usually to the dualing tongue thing...hey it works for me.

    I guess I've lived a sheltered life. Explain this "Dirty Sanchez". I feel the need to impress my woman!
    ...Al...

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  9. rennrattMarch 12, 2008 at 10:12 PM

    I am NOT licking my finger to wet his lips and "create the perfect seal"!

    Other than that, well..

    My husband is pretty hot.

    Sorry.

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  10. Jenny H.March 13, 2008 at 12:59 AM

    Can I just say "blech"? Why would you want to suck someone's breath out while you were kissing? Sounds like an awful lot of work to me!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Wyldth1ngMarch 13, 2008 at 3:28 PM

    From my experience most women are bad kissers and this article probably helps that stat out.

    ReplyDelete

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